"The most ENCOURAGING things said to you during your journey"
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"One step at a time, and don't try to get ahead of yourself"
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A friend of mine who fought metastatic breast cancer for over 16 years, and her younger sister who fought metasatic ovarian cancer for 8 years, shared there own source of perserverance in the fight to get through their tough times...."chemo is your friend." With a hormone receptor negative cancer/her 2-neu positive, this was also true for me at the time I was treated in 2004. Chemo, herceptin, and a clinical trial vaccine, all of it, I took it on, remembering my courageous friends and their mantra...
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Soon after I was diagnosed, my oncologist said, "I'm going to be your oncologist for the next 20 years. Then I'm going to retire and help you find a new one." Coming from him, that gave me such hope and made me realize that I would probably survive.
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Hi
When I went to the Swedish cancer center for my Pet/Pem scan, there was a poster on the wall that said, "cancer is a word not a sentence.". This has helped me keep things in perspective.0 -
MotherHenn that is beautiful. I'm so happy for those who have such encouraging husbands, children and family. It is such a blessing.
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All my love, all my life! We're in this together!
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I had been kicking myself for not catching my doctor's errors months before I did. In reality, there was no way I could have known without seeing all of the reports. Anyway, friends were visiting and wanted to know how this happened. After I had explained, one of them said 'Wow! Thank goodness you were persistent. Most people would have simply taken that diagnosis and walked away...only to learn much later when it was too late. ' Made me realize that eventhough I was duped for a year, *I* was the one who pressed the issue which lead to the discovery of numerous errors. It is amazing how we blame ourselves sometimes.
I cried when I picked up my first bottle of Tamoxifen...silent tears slipped down my cheek as I accepted the bag from the pharmacist and I quickly wiped them away so my dd wouldn't see. The pharmacist asked if she knew and I said yes. Then she went on to say 'I can tell you, from personal experience, that it is not like it used to be. It will get easier. You will get through this. We have a 90 year old customer who was in last week and had breast cancer about 50 years ago. She is an inspiration every time I see her.' Wow. I felt like I had been hugged!
MOs nurse told me I was due for a mammo. I laughed and reminded her that I had no breasts. She looked at me and said 'I forgot, you look so natural!' Then she wanted to know what type of bra I was wearing so she could tell other patients.
DH came home one day with a dozen gorgeous roses. As I admired them, he went outside and produced another dozen beautiful roses with a card that read 'Just because you are my life'. He has been really dreamy through all of this...<sigh>...
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I think the survivor stories really made me feel like this wasn't going to kill me. They made me realize there is hope and there will be life after all this. Alll the help and kindness from friends, family co-workers. And, of course this site, which encouraged me most of all.
"Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. Christopher Robin to Pooh"
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I have met so many wonderful people through this experience that I would have never met otherwise. It is just one of my inspirations.
Some others are -
My oncologist - a sweet, smart, father-like man said to me "don't worry, we're going to get you through this" and I believed him.
The survivor ladies at church who came out of the woodwork to support me - One is in her 90's and still hikes the Appalachian trail in the summer. Another was diagnosed in her 30's when her kids were little, and they are in college now. That gave me so much hope.
A quote I will never forget and I'm sure I read it on BCO - "don't tell God how big your cancer is, tell your cancer how big your God is". This really hit me like a ton of bricks.
Oh, and Flannelette's cabbage juice story! I still read it once in awhile for a good laugh!
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Hi Ladies. One of my daughter's friends wrote her a beautiful letter today. Here is the part I thought was most special. Very insightful for a 12 year old girl. She said, "Friends are just like balloons. If you let them go, you can't ever get them back. So I am going to tie you to my heart so I will never lose you." Just to know she has that kind of support from her friends made me so happy. Thanks for letting me share!
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Another favorite poem:
"Lean on the future. There
if anywhere
you walk upon the water,
All that was true at first
is true at last
but there is no way back
into the past.
But through the future. There
if anywhere
the miracle must happen."
Sydney Carter
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I always sing the song "We shall overcome". It's been with me since I started this journey and get strength from this song.
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I just want to say how wonderful this thread is and how glad I am to see it! Thank you all wonderful ladies for sharing all your wonderful stories of encouragement!
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I love this thread. I started one the other day, entitled
Living in the Moment-mental health therapy 101 for survivors to write those thoughts and ideas that can help us better face "moving on."
There are so many great moments and really no bad comments. I am going to spread them out.
A friend of mine is a surgical nurse at the center where I had my mastectomy. She asked me if I would like her to be in the room. I said yes, and when they took me in, she was there and said she would be the last person I would see before going to sleep, and held my hand. She went off shift during surgery, and instead of leaving, went and sat with my family. When I had the tissue expanders removed due to infection, she was there again, only this time she wasn't working. She came over, scrubbed, and said, I will again be the last face you see and you will be fine." It meant so much.
Then, after my mastectomy, as I was waking up, I opened my eyes and in my small room were my husband, daughter, son, best friend, her husband, three sisters-in-law, four brothers-in-law, and two nieces, all jammed together. It sounded like a party in the room! No one went anywhere until they were sure I was wide awake and ok (although there was acomment I made in answer to a question, but apparently I dozed before I answered it, and then answered it when I woke back up, and they were on to a whole new subject. They thought perhaps I was entering dementia also. LOL) It means so much to me today, to look back on that as it was 9:00 at night and they had all been there for 8 hours.
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One of the first person's I called for advice after I was diagnosed was an acquaintance who is a surgical nurse and an 30 plus years BC survivor. Not only did she come over to my house and give me excellant advice, a bunch of pamphlets etc. but she made sure she was on duty the day I had my surgery (I am getting tears in my eyes as I'm writing this). I knew I had somebody who really cared about ME in that operating room.
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Several people said nice things to me like "you are going to be fine", "my sister went through this, and she is fine", etc. But I think the most inspiring phrase was said to me yesterday by my Mom. I was really feeling down (although not physically sick), and barely got out of bed for three days. My Mom said, "believe me, this is not going to be the last challenge in your life. You can be sure of it." And I think this is inspiring and absolutely true.
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Dense...hug your mom real tight and love her up real good....I so wish my mom was around during my most trying times during this journey of mine... I know she's up in heaven looking down on me, but there is just something about a mother's love, words of comfort, and those wonderful hugs...
Tori
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My breast surgeon makes personalized cards (makes them herself) for her patients. After my first appointment after my dx she gave me one that said I would get through this. It meant a lot to me that a doctor would care so much to reach out in a personal way. I trusted her from that moment on.
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I got an email yesterday from one of the dads on my daughter's soccer team. He had cancer when he was 18, so he understands how scary this is. He told me I am a fighter and nicknamed me champ. He said we will fight it together and he is my biggest cheerleader. So nice coming from someone who has been through this and is living cancer-free today. It made me feel strong.
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It's me again. The encouragement just keeps on coming. Tonight at my daughter's soccer practice the girls were getting their new team shirts. The parents who organized making the shirts called me over and had me hand out the shirts. On the back of each shirt is the breast cancer ribbon, and the girls dedicated the rest of their season to me. They all hugged me when I handed them their shirts followed by the biggest group hug ever! I have never felt so much love as I did tonight. Moments like these keep me fighting. Thanks for letting me share!
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I am a very independent and stubborn person. After my surgery I was showered with love and support. I didn't know how to respond to it. A good friend of mine finally told me "when you don't allow others to help you through this battle, you are taking a blessing away from THEM." This allowed me to accept the help offered to me and connect with my friends and family on a new level!
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"And you're STILL my hero."
One of my best friends tells me all the time what a hero I am. I usually kind of mentally roll my eyes when she says it... like, OK, yeah, whatever. Today I guess I kind of needed to hear it because it struck me in a way that it hasn't before. I am so lucky to have a handful of really great friends through what sometimes feels like an impossible journey!
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And someday soon you will be on the other side of treatment, and can offer the same support to someone else who will need a lift in the future. Because of your experinece, you will be able to be there for them in a special way.
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An onco told me that I had to come to peace with this or I would miss the "now". Ever since, I've tried to stay in the "now". Not easy sometimes. But the "now" is what it's all about, it's what we have. I don't want to give it away.
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My Father, who is a tough old bird, bless him, has never been very good at communicating affection or praise. He told my mother that I'm the bravest kid he has (I'm the youngest of five). I wish he could have said it to me, but that he said it all really means something to me.
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When I was first diagnosed with ADH a year ago and was facing the prospect of breast cancer (which didn't officially appear until this fall), I found this quote, that has become my tagline. It is posted at my desk at work. I found it online and it was credited to the Maori people.
Turn your face to the sun, and the shadows fall behind you.
It is that moment that you close your eyes and turn your face into warm sunshine that the world is beautiful. Life is beautiful. The line reminds me that I can choose to have a beautiful life, no matter what.
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Thank you...I so needed this today. I haven't been feeling well and you all know how you worry that the cancer is back. It is also the anni of my dad's death today and it is a hard day! It is amazing how this journey has changed my life. Thanks girls!
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Bumping this up, because this thread should not be missed!!
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My oncologist told me, "It's going to be a tough six months and then you're going to go on and live a very long life." It put things into perfect perspective for me. What's 6 months in the big picture of things? Being diagnosed at 37 it was nice to hear someone mention living a long life, because I spent the first 2 weeks after being diagnosed thinking that I wasn't going to live a year!
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Oh I love this thread!! Thank you all for responding and helping *me*...surgery in 4 days to remove my last breast.
My friend has had a double mastectomy and her 5 year old granddaughter asked her:
Grandma, why don't you have any boobies?" Then before my friend could answer the child said "Oh yeah, they were sick so there was a surgery so I could love you longer".
Wow...we are here so we can love and be loved ...longer. It humbles me and reminds me my own path in life is different because of cancer.
Denise
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