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"The most ENCOURAGING things said to you during your journey"

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  • torigirl
    torigirl Member Posts: 748
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    I recently went back home to see my dad...we all got together for his 70th birthday and for the baptism of my newest nephew...

    When we all first got together I couldn't help but notice that my dad and brother were both wearing pink bracelets....that were innscribed with, "Imagine a world without breast cancer"....

    No one said anything about them the whole time we were together, but everytime I looked at them, my eyes would swell with tears.....it was then that I truly knew that I always had the support from the people that I needed it from the most....

    It reminds me of that song that says, "You say it best, when you say nothing at all" 

  • dlb823
    dlb823 Member Posts: 2,701
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    ToriGirl, love that story, and so many others here.  It brought tears to my eyes, too.  And I'd love to know where they got those bracelets.

    Your story made me think of something that happened to me.  My husband's family is into ranching and rodeo, and for years we've gotten together for a mini family reunion at the National Finals Rodeo.  Wrangler, one of the rodeo's major sponsors, has a breast cancer awareness program called "Tough Enough To Wear Pink," and there's a night when everyone is encouraged to wear pink.  I had just finished chemo, and I can't tell you the unspoken love & support I felt as we met up with everyone in our hotel lobby to head over to the rodeo, and everyone in our group of 15, including some pretty strong, silent cowboy types who hadn't participated in the past, were all wearing pink shirts.  It was pretty awesome.      Deanna

  • torigirl
    torigirl Member Posts: 748
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    Deanna---that gave my goose bumps...how awesome is that?!  

    I will ask my dad where he got the bracelet and send you a pm when I find out...

    Thanks for sharing today!

    God bless!

    Tori 

  • torigirl
    torigirl Member Posts: 748
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    A note of encouragement: (sent to me by a 2 year survivor friend that helped her as she was going through her journey)

    One day a young lady was driving along with her father. They came upon 

    a rainstorm. The young lady asked her father,  "What should I do?", he said 

    "keep driving".  

    The rain started to get heavier and cars began to pull over to the side, the storm  

    was getting worse.  "What should I do?" the young lady asked her father again, "Keep driving" 

    her replied.  

    On up a few miles she noticed eighteen wheelers were 

    pulling over also.  She told her dad, "I must pull over , I can barely see 

    ahead. It is terrible out here! Everyone is pulling over! I am so scared!"

    Her father told her to slow down if she needed too, readjust what she must, but just keep driving.

    By now the storm had gotten even worse, winds were strong and the rain pelted the car

    endlessly, but she never stopped driving and soon she could see a little clearer. 

    After a couple of miles she was on dry land and the sun was out. Her 

    father said, "Now pull over and get out." She said "but why now?" He 

    said "Get out and look back at all the people that gave up and are still 

    in the storm. You keep going, even though you wanted to stop.  You never gave up, you

    kept going and now,  the storm is over and it is behind you." 

    I thought this was a testimony for anyone who is going through a 
    difficult time. Just because everyone else gives up, even the ones that appear to 
    be the largest and strongest....You don't have to.  If 
    you keep going, on up ahead your storm will soon be over and the sun 
    will shine upon your face again.  

  • FireKracker
    FireKracker Member Posts: 5,858
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    OMG Tori---that is so encouraging.Thank you for posting it and thanks for starting this wonderful thread.God bless.hugggggs K
  • spendygirl
    spendygirl Member Posts: 21
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    I cry every time I read these posts.  It's so humbling this disease, isn't it? 

  • FireKracker
    FireKracker Member Posts: 5,858
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    Not only did it humble me it also made me look at life so differently.
  • bcincolorado
    bcincolorado Member Posts: 4,711
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    As I (and I'm sure many others) face self-image issues after breast cancer, my dearest friend gave me a card at church on Sunday from Liz Curtis Higgs (if you don't know her, she is hysterical and writes great books!).  It says:

    When you look in the mirror, my beautiful friend, don't say "Blah," say "Ta-Da!"  Why?  Because that's what God said the day he made you! 

    Women, you see, were the crown of is creation, God's ultimate creative efford.  After adding the finishing touches, he declared, "It is very good."

    Not "Next!"

    Bot "Uh-oh!"

    Not "Oops!"

    Just imagine God smiling at you and sayingn "Ta-da!"  I did it!  She's finished and she's all ming."  You're not a mistake, beloved.  No way.  You are God's definition of beauty for you.

    The card goes on to say to stand in front of the mirror each morning and say "ta-dah" with joy say it like I mean it. 

    It definitely helped give me a new perspective on myself. 

  • Blayze7
    Blayze7 Member Posts: 5
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    You are beautiful and I love you...my children keep me strong.

  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Member Posts: 47,247
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    I also liked it when people just treated me 'normal'; invited me to do fun things, talked about their kids, shared some gossip, just regular, normal life stuff.

  • NWArtLady
    NWArtLady Member Posts: 239
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    "Worry is a misuse of the imagination"

  • veggy
    veggy Member Posts: 4,150
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    I like that saying. It's so true.

  • mebmarj
    mebmarj Member Posts: 143
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    I started telling people a few years ago when they're feeling stressed...

    Sometimes your plate is so full. Ya got mashed potatoes and gravy dripping off one side then the biscuit is barely balanced on the other, but you know what? Hang onto your fork cause dessert comes next.

  • elmcity69
    elmcity69 Member Posts: 320
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    this thread is amazing. love all of these stories.

    the biggest influence came right in the very phone call - when my surgeon called to tell me i had cancer. it was 4pm, i had a carful of kids and was ready to drive home from the local market. after he gave me the news, he said, you're going to do what it takes, and i know you can.

    it seems small in the re-telling, but it set me right.

     when we told the kids that night, DD (who was 11 then) said, "of course you're going to be a survivor, Mom. that's who you are."

    i always felt blessed with an amazing family and community - my nephews praying for me, friends of friends and family - so many prayers and good wishes.

  • bcincolorado
    bcincolorado Member Posts: 4,711
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    Sometimes your plate is so full. Ya got mashed potatoes and gravy dripping off one side then the biscuit is barely balanced on the other, but you know what? Hang onto your fork cause dessert comes next.....that is just priceless!  Reminds me of something my grandma would have said to me.  Thanks for sharing!

  • dense
    dense Member Posts: 4
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    What a great thread!  I don't have my complete diagnosis yet and have been reading all sorts of frightening stuff. This thread is great!  Thank you  for lifting my spirits.

  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Member Posts: 47,247
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    Stick with the positive stuff, dense. It will be hard, but you will come out alright in the end. Hugs!

  • slgarcia05
    slgarcia05 Member Posts: 154
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    I was just diagnosed today.  I have to say, it is amazing the love and support I have already found here.  These ladies are the best!  I feel their arms around me and I am uplifted!

  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Member Posts: 47,247
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    Hugs to you to sigarcia. Hang in there!

  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 5,062
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    Just found this thread and it's the place for me. Although I would never trivialize what we all go through with bc, I feel better when I find humor and encouragement in tough situations. So, on a bit of a random note, I got a huge kick out of bookmarks my students made for me (I teach first grade). My sub must have written some greetings for them to use on the whiteboard because most of them said, "Get well", or "Feel better" . As I got near the bottom of the stack, I found one that merrily declared, "Happy Halloween!" I laughed so hard I almost popped a suture. It took me a while to remember that I had told my class that I would be back shortly before Halloween. Clearly this young lady knew what was important. I am so lucky to be a teacher.

    Caryn

  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Member Posts: 47,247
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    Caryn, I teach too (middle school), and I found it to be very theraptic. I missed very little school during treatment, mostly because when I was busy, busy, busy with 'kid stuff' I didn't have very time to sit around and feel scared or sorry for myself.

  • bcincolorado
    bcincolorado Member Posts: 4,711
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    There is another great thread called "I'm Grateful For" where people post things they are grateful about all the time.

  • anitasimon
    anitasimon Member Posts: 3
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    This is great.   The most encourgaging words I heard were from sister who said, "we will fight this one day at a time and we will win".

  • momand2kids
    momand2kids Member Posts: 118
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    There were so many...

    From my oncologist:"this is 2009 and we cure breast cancer and that is our plan for you"

    Radiologist "this is just a bump in the road-all will be over in 6 months"

    other oncologist" we think you are going to do very, very well... you are young, you are healthy

    But, the most important things were the things I told myself EVERY DAY

    " You can do this, you will do this." I said that every day as I looked in the mirror getting ready to go to work, chemo, wherever.... it was a mantra.  there was no way I was going to let something that was less than 1 inch big take over my whole life (ok, it did, but I liked the idea that I was indignant about it). 

    I wrote down all the good things my docs said, and carried that piece of paper with me everywhere I went for over 6 months.  In my BC notebook were all sorts of inspirational quotes like "For every mountain there is a miracle"

    After our first consult with the surgeon, we went to a presentation on clinical trials There was an older woman there who stood up and said to all of us " Listen girls, you will be just fine.  this is the third time for me and I am 85 years old" and she looked fabulous--- I got right up and hugged her.  

    I am almost 3 years out and much of it has faded into the background, but I do remember all of the kindness and good feeling that I got from so many people, friends and strangers alike.  

    There is no reason not to think good thoughts.... the thing I say now to friends going through it is "it is all going to work out".... now, I am not sure if that is true, but I think it is important to believe that..... and in many cases, it is indeed true.  

  • Beaglesgirl
    Beaglesgirl Member Posts: 25
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    I'm still in the trenches but of the most special moments so far: were when my 17 yr old son and 16 yr old daughter shaved there heads when mine started to fall out.... My 7 yr old cried when we told him about the cancer /treatment because he didn't want me to lose my hair and be embarrassed or cold... My husband has told me that I am beautiful and the love of his life every morning even through the hardest of my chemo when I resembled the crypt keeper Smile 
  • motherhenn
    motherhenn Member Posts: 1
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    I am continually surprised by the kindnesses of strangers:  the CT tech (a bc survivor) who told me that I'd be beyond this in a year and smiling all the time; the tech who googled possible jobs for my husband while I was getting a test; the people in church who told me that they were praying for me; the woman in a store who told me that I was beautiful (had lost my hair by then and was wearing a hat); the cards from people in my church who I have NEVER met; the mammogram tech who commiserated with me about how much we hated the neulasta shots.

    I have a friend who is a kindergarten teacher.  A couple weeks after I was diagnosed she sent me an envelope of paper angels decorated by her class for me.  One little boy had drawn a skull and crossbones right in the middle of the angel's skirt.  I love all of the angels but that one touches me in a different place!

    A friend who religiously texted me on chemo and doc apptmt days.  How did she keep track?  She never failed me.

    My husband, who is my hero, telling me at my weakest moments, "You can do this.  You are strong and beautiful and I love you."

  • FireKracker
    FireKracker Member Posts: 5,858
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    I swear I got the most encouragement RIGHT HERE!!!!!!

    Sure my friends and family were there and most of them were wonderful but the most encouragement was right here....Sistas helping sistas. Thank You BCO.huggggs K

  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Member Posts: 47,247
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    Probably the most encouraging medical thing that happened was after my last radiation appointment. I had asked my radiologist for a written summary of my treatment. On the section of the report where it asked "Purpose for radiation?" he had typed in one word..... 'CURATIVE'.
  • spendygirl
    spendygirl Member Posts: 21
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    Amen Granny!!

  • pejkug3
    pejkug3 Member Posts: 277
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    I just thought of something I could add to this thread...

    When I went in for my stereotactic wire placement before lumpectomy, the tech (?) who was helping me get positon before the doctor came in to place the wires was so very sweet.  She was very nice and pretty silent about everything.  Older lady and she walked with a limp.

    The doctor came in a placed the wires and nuclear medicine came in and injected the dye for SNB into my nipple.  It hurt (a lot!) and the etch was "holding me down" while they did it - just lying her arms across me.

    When they left, I was alone with the tech - she said, "Listen to me.  Many women who have that dye injected come up off the table.  I had breast cancer 18 months ago.  And I'm 72 years old.  You're half my age.  You can do this.  It won't be easy or fun, but you can do this.  I did and I worked part time though the entire thing."

    She was such an encouragement to me...I should look her up and let her know how much that meant to me.  Hope - when I was scared out of my mind.

    ANother one was when I first met my oncologist.  He told me the proposed treatment plan, I asked all my questions and he left the room.  My oncology nurse pulled the neck of her shirt down to show her port scar and told me that she has sit where I was 5 years ago.  Hope...

    Honestly, hope coming from others who have walked before me has meant the most.