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"The most ENCOURAGING things said to you during your journey"

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  • Ang7
    Ang7 Member Posts: 568
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    My neighbor said "I was diagnosed with BC 20 years ago...stick with me kid!"

    Funny how this gave me peace.

  • Estepp
    Estepp Member Posts: 2,966
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    Kind of a different twist for me.

    Two years ago... I had finished chemo... surgery... and was onto rads....

    I tiny , quiet woman...... that I had seen at rads 30 days of the 36 I needed to be there, came sneaking up to me. She said to me:

    " I have watched you come in here, like me, for a month.... you come in here smiling... strong.... with such GRACE....." As I watch YOU... I know.... that I can do this. I know.... I can just keep movin'... just like YOU. You just... keep movin'... like you know you are going to live. "

    This woman moved me. I went home... and made her a Key chain.... out of beads.  The key chain said..........." Keep Movin' "                I gave this to her in a gift bag the last day of my radiation.  Seeing her open it.... seeing her tears.... seeing her face.... a face that was SO fearful.... loose fear right in front of me........ I KNEW.... 100% that what I had  " given her" was in actuality...... the GIFT and support I NEEDED at the end of my Journey.

    So... the title of this thread was asking for Encouraging things said to " us" during our journey...... and for me..... it was something I actually gave to someone else...... to help THEM..... is what helped ME the most.

    Gods Love

    Laura

  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Member Posts: 47,247
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    Beautiful! and shows that we can MAKE something good come out of this whole experience if we choose to do so.

  • Estepp
    Estepp Member Posts: 2,966
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    Amen ! So true ruthbru......

  • kks_rd
    kks_rd Member Posts: 99
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    I absolutely love this thread. Thank you!!

    I have lots of examples but the one that comes to mind first happened shortly after I was dx'ed - during that period of time when you're all shock and fear with no real plan in place yet.  I had started an Excel spreadsheet to keep track of all the journey's "transactions" - who I talked with and when, what out-of-pocket expenses I had paid, etc.  My boyfriend noticed it one day and asked about it... I told him how important I felt it was to document everything... to which he said...  "Document the fact that I love you."  So I did, it's right there in the header of my spreadsheet and I see it every time I open it up to add to the database.  Very sweet and a reminder that he would beby my side throughout.

    Hmm, thinking about that spreadsheet reminds me of another uplifting comment.  I was telling my brother about how I was organizing all this info.  He said something along the lines of "That soundss very 'manager' of you." (I am in management in my career.)  I said, "Manager? I hope to be the CEO over this whole situation."  He built off it by then saying, "Not only are you the CEO, you're the CFO, the CIO, the CMO.... the freakin' Board of Directors!"  We got a great laugh out of it and it was an awesome reminder of my own role and power in all this.

  • anonymice
    anonymice Member Posts: 52
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    My Oncologist telling my bf and I "We will help you."

  • anonymice
    anonymice Member Posts: 52
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    Beautiful, Laura.  

    This is one of the best threads, ever.   

  • ANA_424
    ANA_424 Member Posts: 5
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    I'm so happy to see more posts here.

    The one I was thinking about today came from a co-worker/friend. It was soon after I told a bunch of co-workers about my diagnosis last spring. I did it at a company conference, partly because it was the time I wanted to tell them and partly because some people were in town that I would not get to tell in person otherwise. Afterwards, I laughingly called it my "path of destruction" as I worked my way through the crowd, looking for people to share the bad news with. I felt kind of bad about that, but it was just the way it was.

    So there was this line in the card that she sent: "Don't worry about anyone's reactions (I don't know that you are but just-in-case) - we just want to support you and hope you feel that."

    I've remembered that so many times through the last few months. I have a tendency to wonder if I've said the wrong thing, told too much, made the wrong decision, or that others don't understand - but I remember that line and just think that I should not worry about anyone's reactions. It kind of stops that negative thought line before it gets very far.

  • suemed8749
    suemed8749 Member Posts: 210
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    Great thread! I love my onc's PA - I remember a time right after chemo, still doing Herceptin, when she started to discuss osteopenia tx with me - I tried to blow it off, but she said, 'You're going to live a long time and you're going to need those bones!"  My onc also said pretty much the same thing when he told me that I needed to schedule appointments with my PCP and gyno - he told me, "You're back! Take care of yourself."

    Also - when my PS took the bandage off after my uni mast with TE - he left the room, and I just wanted to get dressed as quickly as possible. My DH grabbed me and took a long look and told me how wonderful it looked. He's not exactly effusive, so that meant a lot.

  • torigirl
    torigirl Member Posts: 748
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    Awwww man, here come the tears!  You ladies are magnificient!  I can't wait to see this thread each time I get online...it's getting better and better, and for that, I THANK YOU!

    Tori

    DE COLORES! 

  • claire_in_seattle
    claire_in_seattle Member Posts: 2,793
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    Not just what people said, but what they did......

    1. My friends who participated in my Global Virtual Wine Party on the evening of my surgery to celebrate extirpating the cancer from my body.  And my friend who continued to "drink wine to make sure his prayers were on track".
    2. My friend who flew across the country to be with me during surgery.
    3. The rector of my church who sat down with me to prepare me spiritually for the journey ahead.
    4. My surgeon who did an amazing job and then celebrated with me when only one lymph node affected.
    5. My clinical nurse who was there for me throughout and encouraged me to keep active.
    6. My friends who cycled with me during chemo.
    7. The guy in my life who never thought I was less than beautiful.
    8. The people who offered to run errands for me.  Fortunately, I never needed to take them up on their offer.  One would have taken a bus each way after work.
    9. The people who took me to treatments as not safe driving when full of Benadryl.
    10. The fellow cyclists who recently confirmed how much stronger I am now than immediately prior to surgery.  This is a major deal.

    My friends who continue to be there for me.  Thanks for this thread Tori!!! - Claire

  • bak94
    bak94 Member Posts: 652
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    I am not extremely religious, but when my nurse told me that my doctor was on vacation in Israel, at the wailing wall and was praying for all of his patients, all the nurses and doctors, I just found so much comfort in this. Plus my doctor is 70 something and could easily retire, but instead he works tirelessly on fighting for his patients, keeping up on research and going to as many conferences as he can.

    I also like when co workers and clients just treat me as me, not my cancer.

  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Member Posts: 47,247
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    Co-workers brought dinner twice a week all during chemo. When it came to radiation, I had to travel 200 miles round trip every day for my 6 weeks of zaps. My friends signed up on a calendar, and I never had to drive myself even once.

  • lovemyfamilysomuch
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    I am a psychologist and I was presenting to a breast cancer support group on the topic of the emotional impact of breast cancer. 
    My 24 year daughter asked if she could accompay me.  One of the exercises we did was to go around the room and just say one word about how we were feeling at that moment.  After almost all of us went, my daughter said "Inspired".  Her response warmed my heart, because she doesn't talk about the whole thing much. xo
  • torigirl
    torigirl Member Posts: 748
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    My husband has always told me how beautiful I am...always gave a me quick pat on the bootie and kisses me without thinking twice...the thing that touched me was reading the quote he put on his Facebook page that said, 

    "My wife has more strength than most people will ever have need to call on.  She is a total badass!"

    I've read it more times than I can remember...and still do!

  • Paula66
    Paula66 Member Posts: 1,572
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    I love that Torigirl.  I was so stressed at how my husband was going to feel about me after I had no breasts.  He is still the same to me today as he was when I had breasts.  Never once did he freak out when he looked at me.  There is a song out there thats called Im gonna love you through it. I am blessed to have him by myside through all of it.

  • granuaile
    granuaile Member Posts: 24
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    What a great thread. Last week I started my year of herceptin. I met with the NP after doing bloodwork - we usually have great conversations about the crapshoot that is cancer. I said to her, "How's everything look?" Her answer: "Good, as usual. We really didn't need to do bloodwork for this part of the treatment. I just wanted to see you and know how you're doing." And this is in a big cancer center in Boston. I really feel like my team cares about me. My whole team, not just my family and friends. It nearly made me cry.

  • LtotheK
    LtotheK Member Posts: 487
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    I adore my husband, but I'm a really fiercely independent person, and until recently, I've always flailed for that independence (constantly on the go, here and abroad.)  Hair, no hair, stumbling to the toilet after the neulasta, moaning in bed from GERD thanks to chemo--my husband not only told me I was fabulous and beautiful, he said it over and over.  What integrity. Because I know there were a couple of days at least when that was anything but true.  I've never been more impressed, or felt more like I know where home is.

  • Leah_S
    Leah_S Member Posts: 1,929
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    One of my granddaughters was born 1 week after I was dx with bone mets. I told my onc that on the day she was born I was holding her and praying very hard that I would dance at her wedding, and that his job was to see to it that I did. His reply: "Learn to dance".

    Leah

  • FireKracker
    FireKracker Member Posts: 5,858
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    Yeah I was told by lots of people that I CAN STILL DANCE...Come on over Leah Ill teach you..I evenk know your dance i dont know how to spell it Hora is that it?
  • lovemyfamilysomuch
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    Leah, your post made my cry.  My newest grandson is 2 weeks old.  One of my mom's favorite sayings was "I'll dance at your wedding".  Count me in for the dance lessons! xo

  • sagina
    sagina Member Posts: 849
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    I saw my MO today for swelling, pain, etc.  When I was leaving the exam room, she hugged me and said, "I am so proud of you, love you."  And she really means it.  I told her I needed to make an appointment just for the hug!

  • starella
    starella Member Posts: 101
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    Thanks for the prayers...I will be keeping you in my prayers as well. You will do fine..you will be fine...just take it one day at a time...sometimes one hour and yes, sometimes even one minute at a time...from Tori

  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 9,646
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    Remember when my son said to me "Cancer has no idea who it is dealing with, when it picked you to mess with"

    One day he also said when I told him, you don't have to be at every visit, or every Rad appt.....he said "Mom for 53 years you were there for me, I will be here for through all of this"

    My daughter said to me "Your the strongest woman I have ever known, if anyone can rise above this.....you can"

  • slgarcia05
    slgarcia05 Member Posts: 154
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    Hello.  I love this thread.  I am awaiting a bx scheduled for this Friday, and then I will be waiting for results.  My best friend sent me this quote today and it made me feel better.

    "Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater.  If you give her sperm, she will give you a baby.  If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.  If you give her groceries, she will give you a meal.  If you give her a smile, she will give you her heart.  She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.  If you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of sh*t!!!!"

    Women are Angels....And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly....on a broomstick.  We are flexible like that!

    Thanks Patti.  I love you and you always make me smile!

  • ANA_424
    ANA_424 Member Posts: 5
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    slgarcia05 - thanks for that - made me laugh out loud :-). Best wishes to you - hoping that bx is benign!

  • slgarcia05
    slgarcia05 Member Posts: 154
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    I am glad I made you LOL Ana.  It made me laugh and cry!  I have posted on a couple of other threads and it has been helpful.  I had initial mammogram, then another one and an US.  Got BIRADS 5 and am scared to death.  I am glad this thread is out there cause it really helps.

  • ANA_424
    ANA_424 Member Posts: 5
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    Hang in there, slgarcia05 and try not to get ahead of yourself. I know, easier said than done. Distract yourself, be good to yourself, and know you can handle whatever comes. Sounds like your friend already believes that about you. Waiting really does suck, but there's no way around it. Will be thinking about you.

  • annabanana28
    annabanana28 Member Posts: 2
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    I was told by my Dr. that my stage was like having a cold and that he wouldn't devote that much time to me-  that he has to save his time for Stage III and Stage IV patients.  I was mad at the time- but later it did help me put things in perspective.

  • Estepp
    Estepp Member Posts: 2,966
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    " Learn to Dance"

    Tears of joy here..................