February 2012 Chemo
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Susan, I love the new profile pic! I think I am due for a new one, myself.
Drama, drama! Sounds like it's in every family. Men - there are good ones out there... I married a great one. Don't get me wrong, our marriage is far from perfect. Honestly, having cancer has totally changed how he treats me and sees me. I hate it. But, he is very kind, and very supportive. My first husband was a major ass.
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My DH is a great guy for me, but I suspect he'd provoke homicidal urges in many people. There's not one single household task he can't procrastinate on. On the other hand, he does the laundry and fills up the bird feeders when it's cold and I'm whining about it.
So: Hair. I just realized that my 2 year anniversary of starting chemo is this Friday, and my hair is still annoyingly curly. Should I accept that this is post-menopausal me and get on with life, or can I cling to some small hope that it still might calm down a little?
I also notice that it came in slightly thinner on either side of my forehead. It makes me feel old. and grumpy.
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Hildy
Are you on Armidex? Just wondering because you made the post menopausal comment. Do you where your hair very short? I find the longer mine is the weight takes out the curl. Cannot wait for my chin length bob! My hair is normal wavey and in pretty good condition but very slow to grow. I know Herceptin slowed things up but really I feel like I'm a year behind.
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hi everyone. Can't believe it's 2 years since we started tx! Hildy, I wish I had curls still. Instead my hair is flat. And I can't do anything with it to get height. I don't want to perm cause you always get way to much curl. Oh well. I hope yours calms down.
As for men. You all know my DH was not very good to me before his sister and I got BC. Now he thinks of me and does things for me. Went to Dr. Apts too. But i feel like I just can't trust that to last. And that's something I have to get over if I don't want to make it worse. So i try. But when he would visit his " friends" I'd be pretty upset. But i always thought that they wanted what I had. AND THEY'D NEVER HAVE IT! Oh they might have gotten him. But they'd not have the man I married. He was honest and loving and true. What they'd be getting was, quite simply, A liar, and cheater! That they could have!!!!
MLB, As for your SIL, wow. But you notice he blamed it ALL on HER??? He sure didn't change.
Christina, I hope it will change for the better now that you feel more like yourself and he realizes he won't "break" you! LOL
Grit , I hope if you find someone who means the world to you that you take the love and go with it. It doesn't always have a happy ending but it's fun during the ride! LOL. And anyways in the meantime I go through A LOT of batteries......
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Monica
I totally get the fact he blames her, that's his end game LOL! She actually wrote me further to say that I could do alot better that him because he thinks of no one but himself LOL! Hey I have to give her credit, only took a few months to figure him out, took me ALOT longer. Out of the 17 years I spent with him, it really went about 5 years too long. We actually were about to split, did the councilling thing, went about our lives, the last few years were not great and the BC issue brought everything to light, so for that I should be grateful actually.
Grit
Love the new pic. I'm getting my colour done this weekend and will up date my avatar as well.
And yes it been 2 years!! OMG how time flies!
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hello all! I finally have internet at home again- tho we are moving in about 8 days.....I'm working =part time seasonal- not really keen on the job but trying to like it....it's a paycheck which we desperately need!
I've been shoveling a lot of snow and find that my left "pit" really hurts some nites.... I have noticed lately that while my hair is growing out the curl seems less-which I guess is ok-however, the whole texture has changed -quite fine now! used to always be coarse and curly/wavy.
we are in the zero digits and negatives with windchill - I 'm cold.
toady; I am 60 years' old!
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Happy Birthday Lumps!!! Hope this is going to be your year! Much love
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Happy Birthday Lumpy! I hear ya on the cold. Its minus 20C , -30 with the wind chill here in Brampton. No end in sight either. Zero would be nice.
Good luck with the move and the new job!
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Happy birthday, lumpy! Hope it's a wonderful one.
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Lumpy! Hope you have a wonderful birthday! Glad that you have the Interwebs at home again--where are you moving to? Are you excited?
MLB, I'm on Tamoxifen at present--I went into chemo pause and haven't emerged, but I think they like to give it some time before switching you over. I'm going to get some bloodwork done at my next appointment to see if I'm officially in menopause, and if I am, we'll discuss switching to an AI, which I don't actually want to do.
Went to the Urogyno today about the uterine prolapse and discovered that I actually have some sort of competition going on down there, with my bladder and lower intestine also trying to slide out. I hit the prolapse trifecta! Where's my prize?
At any rate, I'm trying something called a pessary for a couple weeks to see if it alleviates my symptoms. If so, it makes me much more comfortable with having surgery to address this.
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Hildy I would take your curls if I could! I love waves and curls! The longer my hair gets, the straighter it gets. Hopefully (since you don't like the curls), you will experience the same. My SIL just got a pessary and she is very pleased with the results so far. God it's hard to be a woman sometimes. I'd still rather be a woman than a man though, no question about it.
Monica I feel like this "cancerversary" never ends and it really messes with my head. Last month was rough since it was the anniversary of being diagnosed. I am not far out from the anniversary of starting chemo. Those are the two hardest times for me.
Margo I hope you had an awesome birthday.
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Hildy I hope the pessa works for you. But it's been in use for what 50 or so years? So at least won't hurt.
Christina, I'd probably feel better about my 2 year chemoversary if I wasn't sitting in the infusion chair every 4-6 weeks for infusions of magnesium. I have had only one 6 week port flush that did not need a mag infusion. Otherwise I always needed one. And this is on top of taking 4 magnesium tablets..even up to 5 when I'm really. This is also when I am eating his magnesium food. Sorry I just decided to whine tonight have a few things going on but not health related. LOL. Much love.
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for me, the mark of my diagnosis is another year I am alive. And for that, I am grateful.
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Have to agree with you Grit. I just can't believe how quickly two years has passed!
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I'm there with you, Grit. Every time one of my friends complains about how old they are getting I yell at them that every birthday is a gift.
We are getting slammed with snow today--so much fun! Love a big storm.
Hope you all are keeping warm.
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Got slammed here too with snow! What a winter, can't remember a winter like this in years, its like I live in the mountains LOL we have so much snow.
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they've said this is the worst winter we've had in more than 20 years. Sigh..... LOL
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Have to back into the driveway these days because the snowbanks are higher than my Honda Civic! I almost hit an off leash dog the other day!
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It's pretty high here too. BTW love your new pic! Be careful out there!
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Hey ladies, still out there? I had several weeks where I just could not check in. Not sure why... maybe I just needed a mental cancer break. Saw my onc Monday for a six month check-up. He was very unhappy that I had stopped the tamoxifen. He estimates my chances of another cancer at between 8% - 12%, and the tamoxifen would cut that in half. I told him I would think about it. Then he gave me a breast exam and found a lump in my "good" breast. So I will be getting a mammogram next week. A part of me feels disgusted and angry; every time I see my onc they find "something" that scares me half to death and (thankfully!) turns out to be nothing. I dreaded going and this is why. And of course now I am terrified it's cancer again, that I will have to fight this again, that maybe I'm fighting a losing battle.
I decided that if I find out the cancer has spread, I am not going to bother obeying the speed limit anymore.
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Christina Hope it scar tissue. Hugs honey..
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christina. After I was diagnosed, I walked in front of moving cars. Is there another estrogen suppressor you can take? An AI? A natural suppressant? This stuff sucks.
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Christina, hugs to you I know what you mean about apt. There is a battle between all my doc's for me to have a bone scan and some think it's a waste of time. I still have very bad body pain and every so often my back go's completely and the pain is terrible. My physio lady who I have seen from day one say I have to rule out mets but surgeon says no and just waiting for onco to get back from hols. I still think it's the Tamoxifen that's causing it.
I have been very down with problems at home and have hit the bottle a lot . So I have decided it doesn't help and have given it up for lent.
My friend who I told you about her cancer is back so that's upset me.
Also I speed when I can and I always beat men drivers at the lights just to piss them off.
Thinking of you all xx
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Ali you crack me up. I wish we were closer, I would love to hang out with you. I had a bone scan way back, it wasn't bad.
Thanks for the support, ladies. I had my "good" breast lifted and I'm hoping too that it's just scar tissue.
I forgot how this stuff changes your perspective. I had a million things I was worried about. Now, none of those things mean anything to me. It's amazing. My mind feels really clear.
Susan, I'm seriously thinking of going back on the tamoxifen. Onc really alarmed me. The SEs really weren't terrible. I just didn't want to deal with cancer stuff anymore. My onc said, "Don't be stupid." Yikes! lol He's Russian, and doesn't hold back much!
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christina. Hopefully just taking the tamoxifen will mean you have to think of cancer very little. You do not want to join this club. It's constant dealing with cancer
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Christina, you are in my prayers. And I hope you do go back on tamox.
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Hey Christina
Fingers crossed its scar tissue for sure. I know taking a daily reminder of cancer isn't where you want to be, but if the se's are minimal take it anyway. Its good insurance. I also see some of the ladies talk about DIM which is a natural supplement that's touted to block estrogen too. I can't say I know alot about it though. Hugs honey and keep us all posted. I hear ya on the things that we used to get so stressed about.
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I'm 80% sure I'll go back on the tamoxifen, once I find out what the results of this new issue are. I don't see the point of restarting it if (heaven forbid) I have cancer in the other breast and I'm going to have to do some other treatment.
Got a good break from my troubles last night. Threw a friend a bachelorette party. We all drank too much, got silly... played games, watched Magic Mike, and stayed up until 4am talking. Oh do I have a headache today... lol but I am a lot less stressed!
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LOL on the not stressed part! LOL
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christina. Good for you. Btw, many women have stayed stable on tamoxifen for many years. These types of drugs have saved many, many lives.
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