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SEX - Very Raw Post

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  • windlass
    windlass Member Posts: 1,813
    edited February 2012
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    Has anyone tried Flax oil? It's estrogenic, but even as an ER+ gal, my onc said I could use it.

  • china
    china Member Posts: 56
    edited February 2012
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    Hey I am really confused like always...Undecided Am I suppose to be looking for coconut oil? cocoa butter? now Flax oil? I have some DW40 will that work? LOL. I am just gonna have to get up the nerve  to ask for SC! Dawn.
  • flannelette
    flannelette Member Posts: 398
    edited February 2012
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    Have to laugh about the WD40 - it has so many weird & wonderful uses - but I do believe the recipe is a secret so guess I'll give it a pass. But back to coconut oil for a bit. Over the last 5 months I've been covered neck to ankle with the rash from hell. Finally got to see a dermatologist, took him 5 seconds to diagnose it as neurodermatitis. It's main quality - the insane itch that never stops, plus I look like a person with a medieval plague. Besides the cortisone cream and the too-many Benadryls which barely make a dent in the itching, I have discovered the most wonderfulbody marinade.

    You put 2 cups of oatmeal in a food processor & whiz to powder (called colloidal oatmeal) Add a bunch of fruit - like frozen mango or even apples or a mix of whatever, a bunch of yogurt (the real stuff unflavoured, pour in however much honey you want to, and spin 'er up to a huge smoothie.

    run warm (not really hot) water into the tub, add the smoothie and - you guessed it - a big whack of coconut oil and climb in. I lie on one side, often till I fall asleep, then the other - for a long time while I sleep or daydream  - it is the only thing besides sleep which gives me release from the torment of itching. the great thing is, water by itself is dehydrating, but all the ingedients of the smoothie are humectants and good for the skin and you emerge totally smooth, with a film of oil over you which you gently pat if you wish, and are not at all wizzened up like a prune.

    Ive tried very expensive creams with urea, eucerin cream, epensive anti-eczema butters from the Body  Shop, and all of them leave what eventually feels like a wax coating on my skin, which becomes irritating.

    At other times of the day I just spritz my body with water, pat gently till I'm not too wet, and slather on the coconut oil - it never leaves a waxy film and I think the water-oil combo gets water trapped into the skin to actually moisturize.- 

  • susan_02143
    susan_02143 Member Posts: 2,394
    edited February 2012
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    flannelette,

    I think Stonyfield yogurt should use you as a spokesperson! Your concoction is one of the most  creative things I have ever heard. Bravo!

    *susan* 

  • Frapp
    Frapp Member Posts: 343
    edited February 2012
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    Flannelette: I seem to have that same plague. It covers my face and upper chest right now. My Inc says its a se if the trial im on. First gel didn't seem to work but second one with steroid seems like it might. Your bath smoothie sounds pretty good. Did it come from your dermatologist? How do you choose which fruit to use?

  • china
    china Member Posts: 56
    edited February 2012
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    Flannelette, I am so glad I gave you a cheering up.  Having this crappy cancer, one needs all the humor they can get. I am so sorry you are having this problem, it reminds me of those that get shingles, the intense itching. Your smoothie sounds yummy, wonder if you could drink it without the oatmeal. I am glad this is working for you and hopefully it will resolve soon. The SE's we have to tolerate. Take care. Dawn

  • Joanne_53
    Joanne_53 Member Posts: 714
    edited February 2012
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    I am having fun reading everyone's posts .... scream cream .. you can buy something very similar to this from "Passion Party", they are home parties that are more fun then Tupperware.  I like the various K-Y products to be honest ... but for my skin, I am going to try the Coconut Oil .. I have heard great things and I have a form of eczema which displays almost like psoriasis. I do have a prescription from the Dermotologist but am willing to try anything.  One of the virtures of Coconut Oil is eczema and I say that this is worth a try.

    Joanne

  • apple
    apple Member Posts: 1,466
    edited February 2012
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    coconut oil rocks....i don;t know why.. its' just the best!

  • flannelette
    flannelette Member Posts: 398
    edited February 2012
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    No Frapp - I just made it up. Well, when you search the internet for home itch remedies, honey often comes up - also for facials. And there are honey and fruit facials. And the colloidal oatmeal really does keep you from dehydrating and is in things like Aveeno ecxema body wash - and any oil in a bathtub of water coats your skin - last night, having run out of coconut oil, I used extra virgin olive oil and that was nice and slippery/soothing.I sometimes do put in maybe 4 drops peppermint essential oil as menthol is soothing to the skin but you have to beware about essential oils as they can be irritants. Geranium oil is a good anti-viral.

    But today got anotherNutiva organic virgin c. oil. $18 a pop in Canada. ridiculous. I use any fruit but last night found that blueberries and cranberries weren't so good - they wouldn't break down into mush, so there were too many bits floating around that were irritants. Frozen mango's terrific, as are combos of frozen fruits. Sometimes I use peeled apples, and I think avocado would be wonderful. 

    Last night was awake tilll about 4 am with insane itching driving me crazy - so got up, had tea & toast and soaked a cloth in half organic apple cider vinegar and water - and it didn't sting too much, and found some rellief.  I do use a corticosteroid cream - that's only $80 a tube! -

    I'm also seeing a classical homeopathist.

    Really, this has almost reduced me to tears, the pain of lying on sheets - even cottton has fibres that stick into you - I've had to sleep on my yoga mat on top of the bed. 

    I really feel for people who have long ongoing skin problems like shingles - poor souls.

  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,258
    edited February 2012
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    flannelette....Do they know what is causing your itching?  Is it hives, or welts?  And is it all over you?  I had so much trouble with my skin for YEARS!  Never knew what caused the outbreaks, or what to do with them. 

    Between Allergists and Dermatologists, I almost went batty.  The latest one that bothers me sometimes is on one leg, down around my ankle.  It is Stasis Dermatitis... I found by looking on the Internet, that "Domboro" would help. 

    It is at Walgreens, or even Ebay.....and comes in a box with little packets, that you mix with a little water, and "soak" the area a couple times a day.  I wear a compression stocking on that one leg, & it really helps...along with Fluocinonide ointment.  Domeboro is "Aluminum Acetate"....I make some and keep it in a little bottle or jar, and rinse the area a couple times a day.

    Maybe this could help you?  I know ONE thing...once I start scratching, it just makes it worse. Hope this helps.

  • apple
    apple Member Posts: 1,466
    edited February 2012
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    o gosh.. itches are the worst!

    just sharing that my sis.. only about 40 had awful eczema, psoriasis and other rashes .....  Anyway, she went gluten free and that has helped her immensely.  Of course she has to spend literally hours shopping. 

    There should be a way to clean the bath tub that is not too difficult Flanelette. 

    We don't even have a tub.  We built out house out of a shell of a farmhouse and thought a bath was a luxury.  My husband said.. 'we can always buy one an put it in the yard'. 

     right.Foot in mouth

  • jap62
    jap62 Member Posts: 993
    edited February 2012
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    I found that if you have candida, you can get eczema, so killing it and getting sugar out of you diet will clear it up

  • 40-years-old-now
    40-years-old-now Member Posts: 23
    edited February 2012
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    Still havent gotten the coco butter. Cant drive yet (per doctor orders) If I could drive I would go looking but dont feel it is right haveing other look for me.

    I think my sholder has fractured. this typing is killing me

    i am donr for now

  • flannelette
    flannelette Member Posts: 398
    edited February 2012
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    Thanks, Chevyboy - I've never heard of domboro, or of Fluocinonide ointment. I have neurodermatitis. I'm wondering if I can even find these in Canada, but luckily live just across the border and any of your over the counter medicines - and coconut oil - are so much less expensive there. Will check out on the net to see if stasis derm has treatment similAR to mine, which is very expensive Aristocort cream(triamcinolone Acetonide $80 per tube that lasts 2 days ) I've also been told that in the US the over the counter strength of corticosteroid creams can be double the strength that Canada allows - and probably also half the price.

    I'm also using homeopathy, from a consultation with a German-trained classical homeopathist. the poor remedies must be having an awfully hard time, having to fight their way past nasty stufff like steroid creams and arimidex!

  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,258
    edited February 2012
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    Flannelette!  Look on Ebay!  I bought about a dozen boxes once, and they must keep forever.  I don't have to use it all the time.... Only with a flare-up.

    But for my legs, if I wear the conpression knee-highs, it really helps.  Stasis-dermatitis is something about water build-up beneath the skin...from poor circulation???  I'll look what the net says about neurodermatitis!  Best of luck!

  • Scrappygrl
    Scrappygrl Member Posts: 9
    edited February 2012
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    I absolutely loved having sex with my husband until the breast cancer.  It changed everything for me.  I no longer felt like a woman, gained a lot of weight from meds and just didn't like the way I looked.  My husband treated me badly during my chemotherapy treatments and it was never the same after that.  He finally cheated on me but kept it a secret until I found out last year.  My thought is....you marry for sickness and in health.  I never once thought about going to another man and he should have never thought about being with another women.  Although we are still seperated, I now see how and why he chose to find someone else.  He needed sex and I did not give it to him.  But he also should have said something as well so although I disagree with what he did, I also understand it as well and how I played my part.  I would think long and hard before giving him the option to find another sex partner.  It truly hurts to no end that your partner is "with" another person.   I know from experience, it still feels like yesterday that I found out and it has been seven months.

  • 3jaysmom
    3jaysmom Member Posts: 2,604
    edited March 2012
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    lost one: im so sorry things went the way they did for you.. it hurts to be chated on, no matter what the reason. i know my EX husband was a huge cheater, something i put up with for waytoo long..

      my DH now is a wonderful man, and is so steadfast i don't know how he can deal with it all. i have other life threatening diseases, and he's right here by my side, thru it all.. bless him.

       i hope you will find a "quiet p;ace" within yourself to heal from all thats happenned to you....3jays

  • 40-years-old-now
    40-years-old-now Member Posts: 23
    edited April 2012
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    Picked up some cocca butter havent tried yet. I am hoping it works well, but right now I dont have the energy. Because of brain surgery and full brain radiation I am not sure if I will any time soon.

    I am scheduled for radiation at 230, I really should get dressed. LOL

  • violinfingers
    violinfingers Member Posts: 10
    edited April 2012
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    I'm 36 and haven't had sex with DH (or anyone) in over a year.  It's good to hear similar stories from cancerkicker (honestly, I think you are AMAZING!  Once every 2 weeks?  My DH would be in heaven) and apple.  Honestly, sex is one of those things I've given up on, like having kids.  I just don't think that enjoyable sex is in my future.  I'm not a "negative nancy" and maybe I'll try Scream Cream, but I've tried so many other lubes and they just burn like hell down there.  I'm tight, dry, and UBER sensitive.  And painful sex is so much worse than no sex.  It usually ends in me crying, because I feel like such a failure.  Then DH comforts me.  It brings up such raw emotions for me that I'd rather not go there.  And my DH is my best friend and would do anything to keep me here.  Sometimes I wonder, is it worth it?  With all the sacrifices I have to make?  But I do think love is a pretty good reason.  I can live with love and without sex.  There are so many other ways to love besides sex, I'm working on those other ways.  I feel like a married nun.  HA!  Poor DH, he never chose to be a married monk.  Somehow we are making it work.  Hugs to all of you!!!

  • violinfingers
    violinfingers Member Posts: 10
    edited April 2012
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    Flannelette, I wanted to add that I feel your pain - in all its itchiness - too!!  I'm so sorry that you have this condition.  I had a similar SE to tykerb and it made my life a living hell.  I wish I'd had your oatmeal/honey/yogurt/coconut milk bath solution a few weeks ago!!  It sounds wonderful.  I still may try it one of these days just for the relaxation.  Or if I ever go back on tykerb.

  • Denise2730
    Denise2730 Member Posts: 320
    edited April 2012
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    Okay, today was the first time I've had sex in 9 months. I had no problem getting turned on but I have a very sore area on the inside of my outer labia. I don't think it has anything to do with dryness. I've heard the membranes there can get thin and cause sex to be a little painful.

    Would scream cream be the solution or do I just need more lubrication?

  • K-Lo
    K-Lo Member Posts: 826
    edited April 2012
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    Where is cancerkicker?

  • 40-years-old-now
    40-years-old-now Member Posts: 23
    edited April 2012
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    I dont know if it will work yet because I just dont have the energy for sex. But I am going to try the cococa butter about 30 mins before forplay. It may help with the dryness and flexablilty.

  • Denise2730
    Denise2730 Member Posts: 320
    edited April 2012
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    I can't go back and read all these posts right now. What type of cocoa butter?

  • Joanne_53
    Joanne_53 Member Posts: 714
    edited April 2012
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    Denise2730 --

    What about the ky products --- I saw this particular product on Dr. Oz ---

    http://www.k-y.ca/products/natural-confidence/liquibeads

    they had a segment on aging, etc. and this is one thing they talked about.

  • Denise2730
    Denise2730 Member Posts: 320
    edited April 2012
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    Thanks! I will check it out.

  • bedo
    bedo Member Posts: 1,429
    edited April 2012
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    Can I add that my hot to trot 20 something lost her interest in sex when she started Effexor to the point where her BF noticed and was really upset?  She has no interest now what so ever.  So much for not communicating with Mom!  Sometimes I just want to plug my ears and go "La La La La La "  until she stops telling me about her sex life!  LOL  She is seeing her doc about a change in medication. I hope this helps some as I jumped in and didn't have time to read the whole thread!

  • Denise2730
    Denise2730 Member Posts: 320
    edited April 2012
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    Too funny! The part about not wanting to hear about your daughter's sex life. I get it - I feel the same way when my son wants to discuss it. I made my husband tell my sons about the birds and the bees!

  • Joanne_53
    Joanne_53 Member Posts: 714
    edited April 2012
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    http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/8/topic/782345?page=6#idx_178

    I found this information after dbl ?? posted the main link on another thread --- interesting information here.

  • weety
    weety Member Posts: 371
    edited April 2012
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    Does anyone here know anything about Luvena?  I found an ad in a magazine and was just wondering about it.  It says that it is a prebiotic/moisturizer/lubricant and helps with restoring the natural flora balance of the vagina.  Hmmm.  . . Anyone???