I look for other flat chested women. A rant.
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Used to be all the women in fashion magazines were boobless like us, only it was because they were so skinny! It is only due to the silicone craze that even models have big boobs now. I have never known anyone who felt better about themselves by looking at models whose every flaw was surgically removed or air brushed away, crystalpalm. Also, never compare yourself to the displays or mannequins in stores. They all have the clothing pinned back to give the illusion of a perfect body and perfect fit.
I love your user name Happee2BMe! It has not been very long since your surgery and you have to give yourself credit that you can do all of those things. Be good to yourself and take short naps or at least breaks whenever you can. Your body has been through a major trauma and it takes months to get your energy back. (I'm still waiting for my full energy to come back and mine was almost a year ago and I'm soon to go through it again).
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Tina, good for you! I am also much less tolerant of everyday rudeness and unkindness these days. It does not cost much effort to be decent, and it really does make the world go around in a much more pleasant way.
Nellie, you are very talented with the sewing! My daughter loves to "upcycle" old clothing. She made a cute sundress one year out of one of her dad's old shirts.
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I am 2 weeks post LAST chemotherapy round - I need your information - HOW LONG DID IT TAKE FOR YOU TO HAVE ENOUGH HAIR TO NOT WEAR A WIG?
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In about 1 month I stopped wrapping my head in scarfs but it depends on how fussy you are about your hair.very personal decision.
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Fern, I wore my extremely expensive wig exactly one time. The rest of the time I wore scarves, turbans and hats. By about 10-12 weeks I ditched the covering. I had VERY little hair, but I did not care.
I am not sure exactly when this picture was taken, but I went around in public like that:
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Oh, hi women. Thank you so much for being here and being so supportive. Today, I am back to normal, or whatever!
The Breast Pocket Project is catching on. I have mobilizedby the quilt/art/mixed media blogging community and have heard from women as far reaching as Hong Kong, Australia, Finland, England as well as Canada and the U.S. It is amazing, people from all over are contacting me. A woman emailed me today to tell me her quilt guild was talking about 'going flat' as an option after breast cancer.
This is 'awareness'.
In the meantime, pockets are arriving in the mail everyday. All of todays mail was for me. I have not begun to open or organize it. Now, I need to get the story into the reporter at ABC news.
This stuff takes courage to do. My task in the next few days is to contact the reporter.
Have you guys seen this video?
I would love to create a video with shared clips to be uploaded to youtube.
A 'flat awareness' video.
I know how to edit video.
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where do we send the pockets? Do you still need lots?
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Thanks momine. That looks great. Ive worn the wig for two months now. Uuuggghhh
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Mel, I had a similar thought and wanted this to be the music for it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBZeVau0i20&feature=related0 -
Fern, has your hair started growing? One thing I did was to give myself a buzz cut as soon as it started growing. That way it came in more neatly and evenly. You could get a hair dresser to do it, but I used an electric clipper my husband uses for his beard. As soon as I had enough hair for a haircut, I got one. That way, even though it was really, really short, it looked more deliberate and less cancer-like.
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I used horse clippers.
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Pip, ROFL! Good for you.
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I was interviewed for a friends podcast about the Breat Pocket Project and 'Going Flat', you might enjoy listening to it: http://voodoonotes.blogspot.com/2012/10/melanie-testa-on-going-flat-breast.html
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thanks again momine . . . I buzzed this off when it started falling out - and there seems to be (by feel) a lot of stubble in the back . . . some of it about 1/2" long . .. there is a band of complete baldness all around the front - along the hair line - - but the parts I can see on the top look all different short lengths and white . . . I do not have the buzz cutting device - I borrowed it - but I may have my saintly husband assist me . . . looking forward to FAST GROWTH!
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Hi Ladies,
I have a question for you.
I am presently awaiting my BMX. I have been looking into reconstruction and will have to do it in two parts. First the BMX and wait 3 months then the recon part. Once I am flat-chested I may decide I like the look and not bother with the recon part, as after all it is a 6-8 hours operation and I am no spring chicken (just turned 68 a few weeks ago). Plus it is a 2 month recuperation period and I am not sure I can handle doing nothing for such a long time.
Here's my question:
Do any of you wear really thin tops that show your shape? The reason why I ask is that I play golf and the golf shirts are rather thin. Any suggestions for me so as not to shock everyone I am golfing with?
I was at the breast clinic today and I asked to see a prosthesis. They could only show me one type. I held it in my hand and it felt like a dead toad. Are they all like this, I imagined them to be weightless.
Thanks Ladies.
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Painterly, when I go without foobs, I usually wear a tank or cami under my shirt.
As for the foobs, they must have shown you silicone ones. I usually wear fiber fill ones, which are very light and unobtrusive. I did try on some silicone ones recently, but they drooped. I don't see the point in wearing droopy fakes. I also made some myself from a set of "modesty shields" that came with a genie bra. I glued a bit of rolled up nylon stockings inside so they won't collapse if someone hugs me. They fit well into any bra, that is what they are made for after all.
I saw my onc today for a check-up, and just to make conversation, he asked if I had scheduled recon. I told him that I hadn't and that I wasn't sure I ever would. I told him my reasons and he said he understood completely. Then he said something that I sort was kind of sweet. He said that he didn't think my self-image would change anyway if I did get recon. He meant it nicely, to say that I was doing well, looking well and coming across confidently.
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I bought expensive foobs - too quickly after double mastectomy - and they are webbed and heavy - they seem to (in 5 months) have decreased in size - and I do not necessarily like them . . I want to "hold them in my hands" any potential foam/fiber foobs . . . there is NO PLACE around here to see the product . . . it's aggravating . . . I feel like I have the droops, just like momine . . . I was small to begin with, before surgery, an "A" cup - I got the smallest foobs . . but now, they look just silly (in my opinion) . . . anyone have brand names/types that I could order (without seeing/feeling) that I wouldn't be wasting my $$ on?
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Momine, I've done the same thing with "modesty shields" from another bra... only I cut out some layers of polartec that were slightly larger than the shields and put those behind them in a tank top with built-in shelf bra from LuisaLuisa. There's no back band in the LuisaLuisa tank, unlike the Still You cami, and I'm finding this to be nearly the best thing for me, except that it's cut too high under the armpit -- to hide scars, I suppose --so that's a little irritating (I have mild lymphedema, too). One of these days I'm going to pull out my sewing machine...
It's not much of a foob, but as you have said in the past, there's a big difference between "small" and "zero."
Ellen
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Hi Painterly,
There really are a wide range of breast forms to choose from (or you can opt to go totally flat--wearing a nice cami under your golf shirt would probably provide good coverage). In 2007, a year after my BMX, I started a non-profit website, BreastFree.org, which offers support and information for those of us who choose not to have reconstruction. The website includes a section called "Breast Forms," where I recommend both silicone and non-silicone forms that I and other women have found comfortable and attractive. The name of each form has a link to a picture of the form, so you see what they look like.
There are many lightweight silicone forms, some with microfiber backing to minimize perspiration behind the form. And there are a range of foam and other non-silicone breast forms that are virtually weightless and very comfortable. While some mastectomy bras are the old-fashioned type, there are many pretty mastectomy bras (which have pockets for the forms) available today. Plus, pockets can be sewn into regular bras, so don't throw away your bras just yet!
I am able to wear virtually all my pre-mastectomy clothes and continue to buy the tight-fitting tee shirts that I've always liked. I choose to wear breast forms and look very much as I did before my surgery. At home, though, I often go flat and feel fine about that look, too. It's nice to be able to choose.
Hope this helps!
Barbara
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Ellen, Thanks for mentioning the Luisa cami/ tank... I have been looking for one without a back band. I am so bothered by the band also.
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Painterly - Alot of woman feel comfortable wearing breast forms and feel uncomfortable not wearing them, and that is great for them, but I couldn't do it. At first I thought I might wear a breast form and bought an expensive silicone prothesis. But the location of my scar on my chest and under my arm made it impossible to wear even the softest cotton bras for the first 6 months after surgery. After that I tried a couple of times to wear a bra and breast form - it never seemed to stay exactly where I put it, and I felt totally unnatural wearing either the silicone one or a weightless one. I have always been small busted and I felt the same way about the breast form as I did about padded bras all my life - like I was trying to project something I wasn't - and like I was wearing it to conform to someone else's idea of what a woman should be (they have padded bras for 3 year olds!!! never too early to start giving your daughter a warped body image!). Since then I have only worn camisoles even though I still have one breast (soon to also come off). No I don't wear tight T-shirts since that would look very odd with one boob. I think I might wear clothes a little closer to the body when I'm flat on both sides, but unless you are in great shape, a tight shirt may make your stomach more noticeable (at least to you) even if your tummy is only normal size.
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Painterly, Regarding thin shirts, an aspect never mentioned is the skill of your surgeon along with their impressions of your plans. This is a two-edged sword. If you really do want to leave recon options open, the extra skin that may translate to bulges in clothing would be an asset to recon. If someone is totally clear that recon is off the table, then the plan would be to ask for as smooth, extra skin free and aesthetically pleasing as possible. Back to the skill of the surgeon. Some do very clean jobs and others you wonder why they still have a license based on all the bumps and bulges.
I chose no recon and although I did have to have center dog ears removed, my result is very smooth and bulge free. I often wear form fitting lightweight fabrics with nothing underneath though I do not wear see-through, that probably being more of an emotional response than one necessary for modesty. If I do wear a cami underneath for a practical reason, it is to protect my chest from fabrics or an inside surface that is not as soft as I would like. I am very much a Princess and the Pea girl anyway and after the BMX, even more so about my chest.
Barbara
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Thanks Ladies,
You have given me plenty of good information to digest and think about.
Barbara..... It never crossed my mind about the bumpy or smooth finish from the BMX. I just assumed it would be a nice smooth job anyway. I will definitely discuss this point with my breast surgeon.
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I told my surgeon no recon - and the result is fairly smooth, fairly straight lines . . . the BUMPS in the middle were huge to begin with, but after some intense scar tissue massage (x 3 - best money ever spent) the scar tissue and swelling are gone. I have fairly sizeable (to me) "bumps" at the end of the scars at my arm pits - - I joked with the surgeon about those asking "what are these" and he said it's a bit of muscle and a bit of fat - - and I retorted "you could have removed the fat" and he said "I've heard that a lot" . . . the muscle above my breast area is very predominant, and then the lack of breast is VERY flat there - skin to bone it seems in places, so I have a fairly concave look . . with a "larger" it seems to me belly now - - need to lose 10 pounds to get flatter all the way down.
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Painterly and Starak,
I thank my lucky stars that my surgeon left me nice and flat despite me not being sure I didn't want reconstruction (What I told them was I didn't want to talk about it, I didn't even want to think about it) around the time of my surgery. I was too freaked and anxious about the cancer to care the slightest bit about what I'd look like. Despite being in healthcare, I didn't know there could be choices during surgery about what to leave on my chest that would affect how I might look if I didn't pursue reconstruction.
Pretty soon after the surgery I realized I didn't want to even talk with a plastic surgeon about reconstruction, I was that sure I didn't want it. I haven't looked back since.
Seems this discussion should be a standard part of pre-surgery planning for someone without the firm feeling they want reconstruction.
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Painterly, my mother had a unilateral mastectomy and wore a light stretchy bra with a foam or fiberfill form. She was about 65 when she had her surgery and she lived to golf, had played since her 20's. She wore light golfing shirts (sleeveless and short sleeved) almost everyday and you could not tell she had had a mastectomy. She was smallish chested though. She said she felt good again quickly and it didn't affect her game. She didn't have radiation or chemo. At 93, even though she hasn't golfed in a while, Mom still wears those same golf shirts and forms!
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Thanks Tina.
Here's another question for everyone (a rather silly one at that but I wondered about it): How much did your weight change after the loss of your breasts? I am just curious about how much our boobs weigh LOL.
I have been wearing a sports bra this year which flattened me somewhat so that when I become surgically flat maybe the transition won't be as obvious to the onlookers. (In golf we are all aware of each other's swing and watch every movement and I have noticed the boobs are really on display as we finish with tummy to the target and club over our shoulder).
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yes, i know how many grams of tissue was removed from each side. 1k plus on the cancer side and 997 on the other.
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The pathology report should indicate the weight of tissue from each side.
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Not as much weight as I thought it would be. About 2lb per breast. They sure seemed heavier than that.
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