The Hermit Club
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Skittle- I bet parents can be crazy! We live in what is considered to be an urban district but the elementarys are districted in to neighborhood schools then they all dump together into the same middle and HS. We bought our house in the highest tax neighborhood and best elementary school area hoping it would be a better education for the girls. Well, they recently redistricted and everything is going to hell. Grrr... They are still doing well and I still think the MS and HS will work out. They have more programs and opportunities than the private schools, and well...we just don't have the money! Woulda, shoulda, couldas about buying here...but it is what it is.
I'm probably a nightmare for teachers
I'm an email'er. My friend that teaches at my girls' school called me after conference night and said "what did you say to Mrs. X. She thinks you hate her". Well, I simply wanted answers to why Katie was doing so poorly on testing and why she needed tutoring. Apparently I was a little grumpy and said "I know what non-sense words are" in a shitty tone, lol. I love teachers, and think that they are amazing! I hate that all the beuracratic crap takes teachers out of the classrooms at least once a week for meetings and continuing ed. Oh well, I wrote a novel...sorry!Journey- I'm so glad you got it all out. I had an appointment like that before my BMX. I cried the whole time and kept dribbling, "I just need to be able to take care of my kids". She understood. We have to be honest. I think I would lose it if she ever used the truck or bus reference. Like FIRE her. There are really too many options around me. I love her, but seriously. I'm glad they are scanning! It will make you feel better.
Jane- congrats to your daughter! That is awesome! Milestones!!
Oops FL- have a great time! Love the cheesecake Factory!
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Just checking in to say HI to my fellow hermits
so much reading !Brag on Jane , you have a lot to be proud of! Your dd sounds lovely:)
journey, thanks for sharing and I hope the next steps are easier for you, and all of us
camillegal..thanks for the laughs, need that
markat...your girls are lucky to have such a concerned and attentive mom, we need more moms like you
chemobrain is getting the better of me lately, zero concentration and lttle memory retention. Only 2 more Taxol , am really looking forward to a break before rads
staying in the cave this weekend, good thing
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Markat--everytime u write hahahahahahaha--U sound like a tough marshmellow hahahahaha
Whaeva -- I think I've lost my mind completely and what makes it worse is that I haven't been out of the house in over (I think) 2 weeks except to go to ER. I told u I was the QUEEN of hermits--Oh wait I let the dog out last night and stood outside on the deck--OK that's out of the house, I didn't leave the door cuz I watch to many scary movies so I went in right away LOL and our dog came back when she was done. Our yard is fenced. Everyone around here has dogs and cats and fences and some nice neighbor leaft us a couple of books about how to train and take care of dogs. My SIL is a wonder with all pets so he doesn't need them, but my randson is reading them so that's good, he can learn. Well give me a gold star--I helped my grandson with his math the other night and when he came home he said he got them all wrong. Hey I knew this stuff in 3rd grad I don't need it anymore. So I'm not allowed to help him with math anymore he said.
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Hey Whaevah! Anne Hathaway is on SNL tonight. I'm so jealous of her delicate pixie-looking features with her cute pixie hair. We could seriously be twins if she'd gain around 100lbs. That's all I'll be able to think about while I watch...drinking a milkshake and pouting.
Chemo brain sucks. My MO kept forgetting stuff at my appointment last week and I told her she was getting too close to the chemo bags. She laughed.
Camille- 3rd grade math is impossible now. They aren't 'allowed' to just know the answer. They have to know why it's the answer. 13+13 is 5+5+3+5+5+3. Or a number line. Drives me crazy!!0 -
Markat again hahahahaha
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I'm glad I found this thread. I'm 3 weeks post BMX on Monday and some days I just want to be left alone. I took a ride today to see a friends new house and I'm exhausted. I had to admit I was not ready for driving.
My DH told everyone not to call me to talk about cancer because I wasn't having it. They were also told not to share because I am a private person. Well yesterday I got a card from a cousin on my dads side that I haven't seen since I was 9, I'm 49 now! It was very nice but I am so angry with my father. Why was it necessary to share MY health issue with someone I haven't seen in 40 years??? And then I feel bad because he says that his wife has battled ovarian cancer....well I do not need rads or chemo or hormone therapy...so now I feel guilty and like a cancer imposter.
I still can not believe how angry I am at my father.
Thanks for letting me vent.0 -
Fl--hope the cheesecake was wonderful and the company enlightening. Sharing a laugh or a woe is a blessing.
bgirl--congrats on wonderful young scholar. Talking about my daughters is a weakness of mine, too. :-) So happy you bought the dress. No regrets there.
journey--i hope time can give back some of what bc has robbed. I lose confidence and comfort and normalcy... and try to fake it through. With support from all the loving, lovely hermits, perhaps a little laughter and joy can sneak back in.
Teka--you hit the target. It is a deep helplessness, when we all want, seemingly, a fierce independence.
markat--you don't sound like a nightmare at all. Teachers (should) welcome questions and concerns. If your Katie is weak in testing, her teachers should guide you as to why so she can gain back whatever might have been left out. If she needs tutoring, ask if her teachers scaffold with small groups or peer support within the time they have her in class. (and if you really want help, ask about an IEP--individualized education plan, or a 504--which, by law, requires her needs be met.) I know at middle school, we are required to differentiate--meaning our tests and teaching must meet all students where they are... not a cookie-cutter approach demanding kids meet a standard if they're not ready. ~~so sorry to go off the deep end talking shop. All students deserve the best environment for their learning. I'll hush.
Queen camille--I love that you're willing to help your grandson! He's so lucky! Most of our district kids go home to no support at all, unless it's a way to a football practice. Anyway... lucky boy. Yes, math has really changed.
whaevah--hugs to you in your cave. It feels cave-ish now that it gets dark so early. I wish you well with your last 2, and hope the break brings peace from the storm.
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Oh look it's cute Anne Hathaway (eastern time). I think she looks fat(not really).
Thanks skittle. Of course I think she's a genius, because she's just like me. No problem with the shop talk.
Welcome Cindyloo. It's tough dealing with other people and their intentions.0 -
CindyLooWho... Glad you're here. Took me a while to stumble across, but everyone here is welcoming, sympathetic and genuine. I've shared your angry spot. I, too, am a private person and asked a small circle not to share. I didn't want a pity party, and I didn't want false faces. It makes me sound unkind, but it took me 9 months to get over and forgive the one who betrayed my confidence. (I'll admit an angry inner flare up now and then, but I'm over it if you look at the big picture.) It'll take time, but you'll get there. Imposter? No, not at all. When the c card is dealt you, your world changes. The solid foundation of our day to day turns to quicksand. Our struggles are individual and personal and we each are alone in our coping... which is why a band of hermits can be so comforting. Cling to the positive ones around you, and try to distance yourself from anything that doesn't feel right or good to you. For once in your life, it's time to be a little selfish. It's ok to ask others to protect you. You don't have to answer every phone call or reply to every comment. Save your energy. And know there's a little band of kindred spirits who care and are here for you.
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Oh Cindyloowho--Welcome to our little crazy world here--I say crazy cuz we are what we are and let everything out how we feel--of course we veer off the subject and that's fine-But skittle said it best to u and I ditto her. BTW the word cancer when it is said with u or about u is horrendous enough so never feel like an imposter it can be very scary for so many. I'm sorry u have to face all this, but 40 yrs. u haven't heard from someone and now she's showing up.? I think I would tend to ignore what she says, don't plant things in u'r mind that u don't have to. Use u'r energy for just YOU and feel free to vent, rant and laugh here--it's good for you
Markat if u'r DD is like u she is very intelligent and testing is a problem for alot of kids and grown-ups, so I would just state that too. U'r a great Mom.
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Trying to get caught up.
Omeggo - I have always had a hate/hate relationship with my hair - I always tried to make it what it wasn't (curly when it was straight; big when it was fine, etc...) but I guess 'you don't know what you got til it's gone' - lol. I didn't wear my wig all summer because it was hot and uncomfortable. Wearing it some now but still mostly hats unless I am "dressing up"
Camille - I agree, big ole sparkly earrings are a must! My favorite pair actually came from the $1 jewlery store and are big silver hoops with rhinestones. Sarah keeps stealing them and I have to steal them back.
FL - hope you had a great time with the friends at the Cheescake Factory - we had never been to one until the last time we went to St. Louis (don't have them around here) - we loved it!
Jane - congrats on your daughter! You have every right to be proud! I am sure she looked beautiful too!
Lisa - I totally have a public and a private face. So glad you were able to get it all out and get some affirmation for all you have been through. And the scans - are they scheduled yet?
markat - that was the first thing I told the mammogram tech after the radiologist told me it was likely cancer "I have kids, I have to be able to take care of my kids" As far as the bureau crap, I agree and I have a real problem with how our district does things. If a teacher has to be out for a workshop or meeting, they will contact parents to see if they will volunteer to sub. I do not agree with that at all. As a former sub, I KNOW it is a lot of babysitting but I think they at least need to hire someone who has been background checked, etc...but anyway, I digress.
RE: SNL, I am watching right now, I never can stay up late enough to watch it at night. Anne Hathaway is just adorable...I could just break her in two. Skinny bitch. Lol...
whaevah - I was just reading an article about chemobrain and it was trying to explain the hows and whys of it. Even nearly 3 months out, I still have concentration issues.
CindyLooWho- it is totally your perogative who you tell when and no one has the right to share that information without your permission; I don't blame you for being upset.
Skittle - very well put.
Teva - I told most people by email...I don't mind talking about it that way but I don't do well with phone calls or face to face for that matter. I tend to get tongue tied and just say everything is fine.
As for me, I am in all day today. It is raining - yay - and going to get cooler again. Yesterday I let my nieces and nephews come over to play so the kids stayed busy. They wanted to spend the night but no one sleeps when they do (there are 3 of them) and so they went home around dinnertime. Friday night I took Abby to a movie because Sarah went to the playoff game and spent the night with a friend. So at least I have been getting out some. We are planning to go to Branson next weekend for our "pre-Christmas" trip. It will probably rain.
Start rads Tuesday. Had my for real planning and simulation yesterday so I am marked up all over. I am not exactly looking forward to it but not dreading it either. Fills are on hold for now so my PS is not happy but he can deal. TE's still as uncomfortable as ever, I have my hospital bed for an undetermined period of time so I am back to sleeping in it so I can cocoon up and nest with pillows all around.
Have a good Sunday all.
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K- ugh I'm so sorry about the pain! I hope you breeze through rads. That's crazy about the subs! Here, a sub can have a bachelors in anything and still sub. Why should someone with a 4 year degree in History be allowed to long term sub in elementary? Now HS, I can understand.
I have a soft spot in my heart for scared fathers. They get a free pass in my book for everything. My MIL actually called me from her vacation in Hawaii to tell me what an Ob/gyn that she met in a restaurant had told her about breast cancer...bless her heart. I'm sure I was in her Christmas Letter, I never asked. I wish I would have been a little more private but I had to explain why my life had changed so much!0 -
Oh and if you're Catholic and prayed for a Mary from Ohio, it was probably me, lol. I'm pretty sure I was on every prayer list from here to China.
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I will take some time today and catch up but have to quickly say;
markat...you are killing me, really I laugh out loud at/with you...missed SNL last night as the Big Cat (DH) was snoring so loudly in front of the TV we went to bed at 8:30. Wow, can't believe I admitted that, and the truth is I slept through the night so really need it. Oh, and since you will be finished your pole dancin' gig around the same time as me, I thought you should consider changing jobs again...try Stand-Up...let me know where you are and I'll be there..oh and see if you can get camillegal to be your side kick, take turns...I'll be the white haired woman with the face paint and the martini, can't miss me I will be laughing the loudest, probably snorting too
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markat--Long live genius moms! I'm sure you've shared your wealth of humor with her, too. (I love it when students get jokes. Some sit like, whaaa? and others are rolling in the aisles.) True tale from class--one of the characters in our book study was thrilled by having seniority in the office. Can anyone explain seniority? Eager hand shoots up--I know!! I know!! Seniority is a polite name for a little bitty Spanish lady.
k--odd sub system. You can't even volunteer in our schools w/o a background check. Hope rads go well for you... and quickly fly by.
Gotta love Christmas news letters. The facebook of long ago and once upon a time.
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RE: subs - it is weird - to be a paid sub, you do have to do the application/interview/background check and to be long term, you have to be certified in something (not necessarily in the subject you are subbing for) - but these volunteer emails seem to be coming more and more often - like, we don't have enough subs and don't want to pay anyone, so can you just volunteer. Makes me mad as a parent not knowing who may be in my child's class.
Skittle - LMAO at the seniority comment!
whaevah - I beat you by only a couple hours last night - esp when I take my restoril, I am out by 10.
markat - my dad has taken this very hard...and right after I was dx, he was talking to someone (not a friend, just a casual conversation) and the first thing this man said was how his wife had died from BC - he started crying as soon as he told my mom about it
LOL on the prayer list - now we know you're name is Mary I guess that explains the "mar" - whenever I see your screen name I actually read it as "meerkat" - ala Timon from Lion King.Got a lot done today, ironing (yes, I iron), laundry caught up, now I am just sitting watching TV and listening to the rain.
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I'm working today but I sure like you all! I'd chime in about EVERYTHING but I just don't have time. Dern. Hey look! I didn't swear! Progress.
The seniority thing is hilarious. But I love ALL your posts, everyone. Just can't keep up at the moment.
Big hugs!
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P.S. I shaved my head today. Now it no longer looks like that of a little old man but I still look like an alien. I have a very long neck.
Everyone (generically) should shave their head once in their adult life. It's a trip and carries with it its own little brand of adventure. Just wish it weren't "C" .
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Omeggo - congrats? I guess on the head shaving! I tell you, I had threatened my whole life that I hate my hair so bad I just needed to shave it and start over - never thought I would actually go through with it. Boo on working today...
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Kit, yup. I know that feeling.
That's the emoticon closest to an alien they have here. I jump every time I happen to pass a mirror here at home! (I work out of our condo.) "Who's THAT?"0 -
My internet anonymity is ruined! Next thing, you guys are going to find out I'm really a middle-aged man posting from my mom's basement
Aww K, your dad...that stinks. I hate it when people do that. I understand that they are sharing their experiences, but it is not helpful. Great about the ironing...I have no clue what that is, but I think my mom used to use one on my hair when I was elementary school. Thank god for whoever decided to turn that into a hair gadget
Um, I think I'd be shooting off an email about that sub thing. Really, I know I would, haha.Skittle- that is so funny. I always wonder what funny stories my girls have shared with their teachers.
Omeggo- it's hard to keep up while your going thru tx. It literally hurt my fingers to type while I was on chemo, let alone look at the screen. Most of my posts were whiny "get me out of this hell" types. I'm glad you're here. Just realized we were on a surgery board together
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camillegal, 3rd grade math looks like calculus to me right now..or numerology either way , back away, I give you a Gold Star for watching scary movies. Not a chance I would. I saw The Exorcist in my late teens and have been traumatized ever since LOL
cindyloowho...my fav Xmas movie
there is no easy breast cancer so you might just forgetaboutit and join the club; we hate cancer and we hate what it does to us...we all belong to it, unfortunatelySkittle..cute avatar and your name makes me hungry..dangerous combo on steroids...LOL...thanks for the hugs, for whaevah reason this taxol is a pain, literally...lol on seniority
Teka..I know those beotches, and I burn those letters bhahahaha
kltb...how nice to spend quality time with the girls, the pre-xmas trip sound like fun! I will be following your posts of rads as you will finish around my start time. Wishing you an easy time, and hope the TE's will be comfortable soon..
markat...please do not tell me you are wearing a dress ..the visual of the old man in the basement is enuff
Fellow hermits, have to say it is the humor here that really makes my day. Probably saved a few lives in my path as well , so
and *hugs* to you all. Remember...When humor goes, there goes civilization..Erma Bombeck0 -
Where is Camille? We need pictures of cats doing cute things to start our week
She must have left the deck today.Omeggo- missed the part about your hair! The shave is hard. I shaved mine into a mohawk before I completely shaved it off. It was fun. There are some funny pictures of us on vacation with my stubbly bald head with Mardi Gras hats and beads on. I always said that I looked like Uncle Fester.
Whaevah- I'm wearing a house dress, duh, mom's actually. that's so funny about your DH. Mine is a terrible snorer and has a CPAP machine. I'm supposed to wear a bite guard at night for teeth grinding. It's pretty hot here at the Markat house. Humor is great medicine. That's why I married my DH, he always made me laugh.
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Hi hermits! The lunch yesterday with the local Florida girls was very nice. I enjoyed meeting some of our “bco” sisters. There were 9 of us, so a good size group. If you have the chance to meet up with some of your local group, I encourage you to go.
Bgirl - Congrats to your DD and to you for getting her to this point!
Camille - gold star for trying to help DGS with his math!! Just be glad we are not in third grade these days! You have not left the house in 2 weeks? Can you get out and go for a walk? How’s your weather? Don’t think the ER counts as getting out…lol.
CindyLooWhoo - Welcome, just sorry you have to be here, sorry we all have to be here! I understand the thing with your dad…I am a private person as well and I am not sharing my dx with many at all. My mom knows that I do NOT want my bc discussed, but she took it upon herself to tell some of her friends. To say I came unglued is an understatement. (whoops.) Love my mom, but I was furious!
Skittle, CindyLooWho, Teka, Me - seems as if us hermits have a common thread of “keeping the dx on the down-low”. It’s our dx and we should decided who it is shared with! I could climb upon a really big soap box about this, but I’ll spare you, because you already know! You get it! You understand!
Kltb - My best wishes to you on rads! Hope it is smooth sailing for you. By the way there is an open invitation for you to come to my house to iron if you run out of your own ironing!!! That is one thing I refuse to do.
Skittle - LOL seniority, a little Spanish lady huh? - out of the mouth of babes! How funny. Are you saving comments like this for a book?
Omeggo - I’m sure its good not to see the little old man staring back at you. I hated the little old man look I had for what seemed way too long. Trust me it resolves! Yay for no more shedding.
((HUGS)) to all!
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OOOO I just lost my post---geeze----
Omeggo Nowadays it's better to look like an alien--u fit right in.
Markat I always said u'were hysterical see everyone thinks so. LOL
K u actually own an iron--Wow I'm impressed.
And who slept all nite" (I forgot) but right now I'm hating u with a passion. I used to sleep all nite. WAAAAA
And FL I'm glad u broke down and told u'r Doc everything, how u feel--see she.he listened and gave it thought--They want to help us more than we think.
I see 2 Dr. tom-Morn. and afternoon hahahahaha I leave the house 2x tom. Honestly I don't want to see any Dr.s anymore ever, but what can I do.
Oh and my pain is fially getting better so walking is getting easier, but FL it's hard to walk here--no sdewalks and I'm starting to get dizzy more and I need someone to walk with if I feel like it My DD is busy or resting. I do do excercize for my LE and some stuff for my legs, but I'm not an athelete type of person so to me that's overextending myself. In pkain English I'm lazy as he**.
Hope I didn't miss anyone---we're getting bigger and bigger.
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FL- so glad you had a nice lunch! It's neat to meet new people.
Camille-glad you checked in. I'm wide awake tonight. For some reason I'm all hyped up about Christmas presents that I can't afford and finding the cheapest place to find them.
Speaking of Christmas presents and aliens
...Abby wants an Alien Autopsy Kit that she saw in the Walmart ad. I'm so going to buy it and wrap it in aluminum foil. I've been laughing about that all day!Crap sent too soon. Hope the docs go good tomorrow and glad the pain is easing up!!!!
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Matkat I love thst gift. That why I love Christmas--it's the kid in me and zi love when my grandson wakes up to all the present and still believes in Santa. But me too---money is a problem so I'm trying to figure WTF I can sfford--I even told my kids don't count on much at all--cuz I want to concentrate on Joey--And I just love Christmas for the family thing--we go to my nieces Christmas day and theres about 50 of us and it's so so much fun and food u get once a yr. And Christmas ece go to my cousinds again ssbout 50 people and again have so much fun. So to me it's so family style and food LOL And Next week is already Thanksgiving (wow) that's not a huge day for me--it really doesn't matter what we do. so thst's not so bad, but right after it's decorating time that's another thing I really enjoy.
I'm so glad u'll be getting out now working some. It'll make u feel better, I hope. And u'll have some extra money for Christmas too--that'll be good.
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Camillegal I feel the same way about thanksgiving. The last two years we went away...alone. I loved it but DH I think missed it. This year to his brothers. I don't mind going there his wife and I are close, she is a nurse and helped me shower when I got home from the hospital with the drains.
Yesterday my sister sent sent a note saying that they were forgoing gifts for each to take care of a family in need. We are in CT so there is so much storm devastation. So I will have very little shopping to do. Christmas eve is the big day in Italian families and it's usually at my house...I don't feel like decorating...not sure about cooking either.
DH keeps telling me I should go to my dads in FL and sit by the pool while I'm on STD from work. Oh sure, that would be great...the breastless wonder on display, because I'm so sure my dad told all his neighbors too. They don't get that sometimes I just want to be normal. I don't want to answer " how are you doing" over and over. Maybe I should tell them how I'm doing...that might actually be amusing, for me anyway. Lol0 -
Camille - I love the decorating too. It was so warm here this weekend. I kept telling DH to put up the lights and we wouldn't turn them on til after Thanksgiving. Most of the stores around here are opening at 8-9pm on Thanksgiving night for the Black Friday sales. That's crazy to me! I've never been to those sales, but maybe this year...doubt it lol. DH hates Thanksgiving because he has to work on Friday, and he's not a fan of holiday food (wtf, right?).
Cindyloo-I used to go to my best friend's Italian family's house on Christmas Eve when I was single. It was amazing!! Seriously the best food and party ever! I'm not a huge fan of adult gift-giving. I figure, keep your own money and buy what you want, lol.
You just had your BMX right? Have you had any fills at all? I agree with your husband. I'd be lounging in the nice weather and flipping everyone off that bothered me. The constant questions are super annoying. Half of why I consider myself a hermit. I hope you are pain-free and recovering quickly. It's tough time (((hugs)))
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Hi markat...no fills yet.
It's 3 weeks tomorrow. But I had a small skin revision last Monday.
I see the PS Wednesday and I'm hoping for a fill. I'm told the "iron bra" is more comfortable after the fills start. I'm so darn uncomfortable I could scream.
I have been off the dilaudid but took one last night so I could sleep.
I feel like a slug. I want to walk or go on the treadmill. I lost 20 lbs recently and I don't want it back.
And I still have days when I'm so damn pissed off. I am the healthiest person I know, I eat right, work out, dont drink much, never smoked...I lost the weight because I'm going to be 50 next year and wanted to be fabulous. And instead two weeks after my 49th birthday i get this news. Grrrrrr0
