Lets do a Sh*t People say to Metastatic BC Patients
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"You look great! I hate when you see cancer patients and they're all shriveled up and dying."
No joke.
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Wow...I personally have never seen a shriveled up cancer patient.
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I know I already posted earlier on this thread, but a co-worker of mine actually asked me if I felt as if "my cancer was a gift" a few weeks ago. I told her no - that I am going to most likely die from it. I also explained that when I went through my divorce I made a lot of conscious decisions about how I wanted to live my life and the cancer hasn't changed that. And other people keep asking me when my treatment will be over. Uh, never. Duh!
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A gift?! I've heard that before but I so don't, can't understand it.
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What sort of gift would that be?
I went to a cancer support group once and this one gal told us that her cancer was a perfect storm. She said it was just perfect. That the cancer was perfectly complete. Because of the cancer she saw the perfect love her husband had for her and because of the cancer she saw the perfect beauty in nature. She went on and on about this perfect cancer that god had given her out of his perfect love for her. Funny thing was the entire time she was speaking, tears were streaming down her cheeks.
Poor thing. I think it might be better to be angry about having cancer. its not perfect and it certainly isn't a gift.
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I have an older sister who says that about cancer being a gift. She also says that If anybody in the family had to get cancer, it was me because I was the strongest emotionally and could handle it the best.
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If it's a gift, return it.
Jennifer
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I would say re-gift it, but I really don't dislike anyone that much.0 -
Ha, ha, blaine and kay, you made me laugh out loud!
mary, it's like they say, you can pick your friends but not your relatives......
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I was told by a friend that she had a dream about me and that God gave this to me so I could be of service to others through my illness because I am such a strong person.
Uh, what?0 -
Gah Liz..with stuff like that I find it really hard not to yell at the person. Where do people come up with this crap?
So yesterday my dad brings this guy in the house who tells me he is a friend of a friend of my mom's. He's got this book in his hand. Starts going off about it and the woman who wrote it and blah blah on and on.
I've never heard of the author or the book so I google. Hulda Clark and her book, The Cure for all Cancers. Good gravy. In 5 minutes I found out she died from cancer herself, and convinced people with AIDS and cancer to stop their treatments and use her "Zapper" and eat wormwood. Obviously, they died, as did the author under her own treatment.
How do seemingly intelligent people, with all this information right there still go for this crap and feel the need to come tell me all I need is a Zapper and I'll be fine?
If your bored, check her out, she had some pretty wacko ideas.
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I thought you got rid of it. You didn't lose your hair. Said by my neighbor.
We're going to be married at least 50 years. Said by my husband last year on our 6th wedding anniversary.
Mom, you have to plan your retirement now. Get back to work. Said by my daughter when told the meds failed.0 -
Nice friend Liz. Oh boy, some people are nutso!
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my sister-in-law told me I needed to be more understanding toward my husband, after all he was getting ready to loose his wife.
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Wow maximus...I don't even know what to say about that one. That's just..ugh!
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Wow, maximus! Just when one thinks these remarks couldn't get more outrageous...along comes your sister-in-law. Amazing.
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So, you're in "remission" then.
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So, You're in remission then?
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1maximus - how did you manage not to punch her right in the face??? That is a horrid thing to say to you!
From Today's Quack Cures for Cancer Corner:
Today, my brother in law (DH's brother) sent me an email extolling the virtues of the lemon peel...specifically that ground lemon peel is, and I quote: "10,000 times stronger than chemotherapy, and does no damage to the body! The public doesn't know this because of big pharma!! So, eat tons of lemons to rid yourself of cancer!"
Sounds like he may have been Hulda Clark's ghost writer! I mean really?? I'd love to ask him how many lemons he'd be eating a day if he was told he had terminal cancer. Oh, yeah, that's right, NONE - because he'd be on chemo just like the rest of us poor saps.
Have people always been this stupid? And cancer just brings it out or what??
Michelle21 - It's so hard when those around us refuse to accept the reality we are living daily. I'm so sorry you seem to be getting it at every turn.0 -
Given your screenname, that is pretty amusing! I eat more lemons than anyone I know.... still got this crap! His next email will suggest asparagus with that lemon. :-)
*susan*
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Susan,
LOL!! Yeah - well, and DH's sister told me not to think of ANYTHING negative. Nothing - told me not even to read a murder mystery, because of all the, uh, you know - murder...becasue that's VERY negative.
DH sister #2 meanwhile, told me to cut out wheat gluten.
Back to brain child brother #1 - he told me to buy life insurance, lie on the life insurance saying I'm perfectly healthy, and as long as I "out live" the life insurance for at least 2 years (no pressure), that the insurance company would HAVE to pay it out upon my death, and that my husband would be a "happy man" with all that money.
So - at his urging, I'm supposed to commit insurance fraud, for which I may or not be prosecuted, and which my surviving spouse may or not be prosecuted so that I can try to fraudulently have my surviving spouse cash in on my death? What the ever loving F&%K????
I'd think he should stick to lemons and asparagus.
I promise you, my DH is the pick of the litter. He is nothing like his siblings. He thinks they're crazy too.0 -
That's one crazy bunch of in-laws you are dealing with Liz!
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Oh yeah - crazy people follow me like I'm the pied piper! My whole life - it's really weird. It's like I have a sticker on my forehead that says, "Just go right ahead and say crazy stuff to me, because, you know, I like that sort of thing!"
Gah!0 -
Well, now I know how I got BC. I love murder mysteries.
Who'da thunk?
Leah
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Leah,
Bwahaha!!!!
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Last night I watched Parenthood, and one of the main characters has breast cancer. You know how TV portrays it. Husband broke down and said, "Have you seen those women on chemotherapy? They look like ghosts!"
Okay, I have been on chemo for three years and I'm pretty sure I don't look like a ghost, or at least, all those people who are always telling me how great I look are lying.
Sure enough, they cut to "scenes for next week" and there is the poor girl, after her chemo session, lying in bed, puking, weird makeup on that makes her look terrible. They mentioned that she's HER2+ so her chemo will be TCH. I did six rounds of that and went to work and took my kid on field trips and lived my life. I didn't spend my days in bed, puking, and I didn't look like a ghost. The way TV portrays us, we really should complain.
Of course, she won't be stage IV, they never mentioned her stage.
Anyway, this ghost is going to take a shower.
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lol Ann, ain't it the truth? I did 6 TCH too and worked through it all and don't think I ever looked like a ghost either. It's seeing crap like that on TV that scares the beejeesus out of women, that's the image I had in my mind when I was first told I had to have chemo. It's so unfair!
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I wish just once they'd so a dramatic show where a woman does chemo and lives like most of us - relatively normally. I know some have a rough time but it is rarely as dramatic as in the movies or on TV, and on TV - EVERYBODY has a hard time.
Here is a new one. I have been writing a blog detailing my experience with cancer since the beginning - three years now. I have shared every test and stuff - describing things so the newly diagnosed know what to expect, all my chemos, things people say, etc. I've been humorous though it all to demystify it. It takes a LOT of time to write the blog and I do it for free. I have a quarter of a million readers now so, while I never meant it to be popular, it is.
Well, October I'm busy. I have a lot of interviews and stuff, plus I found out the cancer is back in the liver and went through some disappointment. So, while I told a few funny stories, most of it was either promoting an interview I'd done (as I am proud of them) or giving away something on the blog.
I don't GET anything when I give those things away. LOTS of companies contact me, dozens a day, and I only say yes to the ones that I think are valuable to people who read my blog and I get nothing for it. I have a Follea wig promotion where somebody with breast cancer can get a thousand dollar wig for free and when I put it on my blog, there were like five entries so the odds were good. I didn't get anything for that - they sent me a wig to see that I had to send right back.
So, some woman posts a comment yesterday, "I used to look forward to reading your blog but of late, mostly just commercial or promoting something/someone"
I was a bit flabbergasted. My blog is FREE. I have 500 pages of content on there and maybe 20 are promoting something, including myself. I have shared everything to help others. I am not a healthy person - I have a terminal illness and don't always have the energy to think of something to write. And, yet somebody complains. Do they forget there is a human being writing this blog - a very sick human being?
It's amazing the lengths people will go to complain. All that person had to do was - stop reading. Simple. I bet they never once said thank you or donated or did anything. Came out of the woodwork to complain.
People astonish me sometimes.
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That enrages me, Ann.
Some people, like your complainer, are so self-absorbed and entitled. As if to say, how DARE you not entertain her?!?0 -
Ann, I'm so sorry you had to get such a ratbag complain.
I have read this site and parts of your blog for a year or so now, and only recently have I joined in. You are one of the primary names I always look for to read your posts. You are so honest, funny, warm, generous and so very normal, that I have gained great strength from you. It has made me very sad to read of your recent challenges, and I have to remind myself that we really are all just human, doing the very best we can.
Any complaint is hard to hear, even from an uninformed person, but when you are down, as you probably are at the moment, you may just not have the strength to dust it off. Well, Ann, let us dust it off for you. We all know the truth. Together we are strong enough to repel such negativity.
I hope you can continue to do the things that really matter to you, and I wish you all the positive energy I can.0
