2013 Survivors!!!
Comments
-
Scottie - thanks. She probably does mean that. Yesterday was just a bad day. My relationship with my mother has always been a little different than most, especially since my Dad died of colon cancer when I was 14. My role became one of looking after her and taking care of my siblings and then nephews. The world has always been a very scary place for her and she didn't live, mostly just existed trying to protect herself from it. I just would have liked her to acknowledge once what I have been through this year but I am not sure that she is able to look beyond herself so it is not something I should expect. I need to give myself what I need, Juneau, I relate. I'm not quite there yet. Re: Tamoxifen - you are definitely not alone and I have resisted taking other meds to help with the side effects as many cause weight gain. Hugs back.
0 -
Happy Easter to those who celebrate it.
I still have company! Enjoying them but its been over a week and I'm getting tired.0 -
Websister - Mothers can be tough. My grandmother was like that, but mellowed as she got older. I hope your Mother is feeling better and that you will feel better too. Good advise from Scottie, as always.
I think there is a lesson for us Mothers, especially those with daughters. I have sons and they live in a different world.
I've thought of dropping my pills too but we can't do that. It's only for a few years, right? We all intend to be around for a long time. We can do this!
We aren't fat, we are fluffy.0 -
Hi everyone! Congrats for being here. I have a couple of questions I'd like your experiences on...
Finished rads mid-Feb.
Seems the energy still hits a wall early afternoon with naps needed 2-3 times a week.
I run a farm and seems like I am not getting my strength back. The other day I couldn't pull a 50 lb feed sack from the back of the truck (though I can carry it). Am I expecting too much too soon?
Chemo was easy - no SEs. Rads didn't make me super tired, only had a lumpectomy for a 2.4 cm tumor clear lymph nodes.
I am on Arimidex and have some of those jolting muscle aches like when I had the bone pain from Neulasta. MO says continuing pains are from Neulasta.
Anyway, I know everyone is different, but when have you felt like your strength started to return?
0 -
Yes. Internutz1 you are pushing a little hard. I'm a 13 months past surgery and 10 months past rads and I still get tired and still have a 10 lb lifting restriction... (lymphadema) I can lift more than 10 lbs, but I'm supposed to wear a sleeve when I do.
0 -
I am good now, I have much to be grateful for. It is a beautiful sunny day and it is Easter. What I take from this is that I want to truly live and celebrate whatever life I have left, be it long or short (and be I thin or 'fluffy').
Internutz - I am slightly behind you in treatment so I don't have a lot of advice to offer except to listen to your body but I did want to welcome you.
To everyone who is voting for my DIL today is the last day of the contest, every vote helps. Here is the link again and thank you! -
https://offerpop.com/FacebookContestEntry.psp?c=326045&u=1184648&a=448952861833126&p=143896322336993&rest=0&offset=0&sortby=recently_added&id=1106368&rest2=00 -
Juneau; I feel the same. I just had yet another melt down this morning. I said the same thing to my hubby, I want my body back. I'm scarred and battered and in pain constantly. I want my life back. I'm tired of all this. Of feeling old. Of putting on the brave strong face. On top of this my DS told us at breakfast that him and his gf are breaking up :-((((
I love this girl like she were my own!!! He said its mutual and they are just taking a break for a bit, but I'm shocked and heart broken. I really just want to have that alone time so I can cry and not feel guilty about it.
Internutz1; I'd agree with cyndyl, yes you are doing too much. 50 pounds is way to heavy. We have to be gentle to our bodies, listen when they tell us to rest.0 -
Internutz, give it another 6 weeks, maybe longer. You will get there. These treatments wring everything out of us, and our bodies take their own time to heal. Lots of sleep is very good. Go for it! I have never slept as much in my life as in those weeks/months following rads. Sleep is the great healer and restorer of energy.
Websister, glad to hear you feel better. Love what you said that you want to live and truly celebrate whatever life you have left, be it long or short, or be you 'fluffy or thin. Amen! I should take that, run with it, and just be very grateful for where I am today compared to a year ago.
Shianne, big hugs to you! Now and then our feelings get the better of us, and that's okay. You are so human. We can't always be strong, and it is good to let other people see that. About the GF: My DS did the same a few years ago. We've come to love this girl so much, and it was like losing a child when they split up after two years. Some time later he hooked up with a girl that we've all known since birth, and I'm so glad he did. She's even more awesome than the other one. Maybe that will give you a little hope that all is not lost.
0 -
Shari prayers that your recovery is quick and smooth.Glad the surgery went well.
Tazzy so glad you're still dancing with Ned. He is SUCH a popular guy but it's so nice that we are all more than willing to share him with one another- kind of like that show that was on "sister wives" we are all BC Sister wives to Ned.
Websister I can totally relate with you and your situation with Mom. In my case I lost my Mom at 15, but I think a lot of our carefree spirits and youth died with our deceased parents as we turned our cares and concerns to our last living parent and siblings. Infact I spent the last couple days trying to find just the right things for Dad's Easter basket-(Mom always made us baskets including one for Dad) so I haven't missed giving him one for 44 years and he still looks forward to it like a little kid. I'm sure though like the others said that your Mom's remark about getting old was just her casual way of saying it stinks to get old and unable to do the things you used to do. I hear similar remarks all the time too. Dad knows nothing of what I went through either and although I chose not to tell him so that if he hurts or needs me for something he would feel he could call on me rather than worry or think of me as "sick". He is too old and has gone thru alot over the years to have to go through my bc issues. I pray all of the time that I out live him . But sometimes when he or anyone else for that matter grumbles it is all I can do to keep from yelling " I don't want to hear about it; if you only knew what I went through and how old I feel" . But I know that if I did, it would only make me feel better for about two seconds then I would hate myself. Thank goodness I can grumble to my DH and he understands a 100%. But every now and then we need that alone time to have a complete pity party. Hope you and Mom are both feeling better. (voted for the DIL by the way)
Lorall my dad uses that expression too and so did my grandparents about the "better than the alternative" lol I'm finding the older I get the more true all those sayings get like- time flies as you get older etc etc.
Shianne and Liefie I can relate your situations with your DS's too. My DS and his gf broke up last year after going together for about 10 years . I was devastated as we went through so many things with her-graduations from high school and college, etc etc and she was the closest I had to a daughter. Almost 2 weeks into the breakup I contacted her to see how she was and if she needed anything. My son seemed a little miffed. I said you can't expect to bring someone into our life for that period of time and want us to like her right off the bat but then expect me to no longer care about her just because you two broke up. But the great thing was that about 3 weeks into the breakup they decided they didn't want to go their own ways after all and got back together. I think I decided that if it ever happens again, I won't get so emotional until they've been apart alot longer. lol Shianne, Maybe your son and gf will change their minds after a brief break too or like liefies son, he will find someone you like even more. It's funny how we tend to tell them not to get serious at first but when they find one we like, "settling down" sounds pretty good.Believe thank you for the Easter bunny!
Believes term fluffy cracks me up-fluffy sounds much better than being overweight, chubby, etc etc. I'm going to adopt the term and try to reduce my fluffiness a little by using my new "beast". I kept telling my DH that I couldn't lose any weight like "my group" because they all had treadmills so he got me one last week for my birthday-I haven't made up my mind if you are all a good influence yet or a bad influence-lolI have been cooking since yesterday, went to sunrise service this am after 4 hours of sleep, came home started cooking again, ate, packed up leftovers, enjoyed watching my adult family members go through their easter baskets , and cleaned up when they left. My DH and I are finally relaxing with some apple pie. Unfortunately now that I have a "beast" like the rest of you, I will feel guilty if I choose going to bed early over working off that piece of pie .decisions decisions- Oh well I'm so tired I won't have to feel guilty for too long. lol
For those I missed commenting on-I tried to do a quick scan so will have to catch up later .bu For all celebrating Easter I hope you were able to put aside this dang bc stuff for a bit and have a nice Easter and like we've talked about before this is our new "normal" and as hard as it is, we shouldn't let BC take anything else from us.
0 -
Funny, I always say that I just have way too much skin on this body. I won't say I'm fat, but 20lbs less on my 5'9" frame would be nice. The problem is I hardly eat anything as it is. The weight just doesn't go away. I haven't gained any weight with Tamoxifen, but I sure don't feel like I have enough energy to work-out and I'm sure that's the only way I'll be able to lose any weight. It's a lot harder to lose now that I'm in my 50"s...Oh well.
0 -
Hi all,
I haven't been on the site for many days due to feeling poorly and really depressed. I was so elated when I had my final chemo 3/14 and didn't have many SEs initially but now my legs have started aching and feeling weak and fatigued. I believe it is neuropathy from the chemo. I am in and out of the bath at night to ease the aching. I am so fatigued that I have had to put a chair in the kitchen, and walking around the grocery store is a nightmare due to fatigue. I should start radiation in about a week and if the fatigue gets worse I don't know what I will do. I reckon I will ask for some help but that is so hard for me and truly pisses me off that this damn cancer has taken my complete independance and any feeling of well being away from me. I just want to wake up and feel like embracing the day instead of dreading it.
Thanks for being here and for allowing me a place to bitch. Sometimes saying/writing it takes the power out of feelings when they are so negative.
Sheryl
0 -
SherylB - sending hugs
0 -
Believe, I use the term fluffy to defend my cat lol. She is a big girl and gets called fat frequently.
Liefie and twofried thanks for the bright side on the gf issue. I'm really hoping once school is out and they are both back home things will work out.
Sheryl, my SE of chemo started over a month after chemo ended. Neuropathy as well, I was given gabapentin and its helped a lot.0 -
In my 12 step program we say "pain share is pain lessened"... Just someone identifying with our feels and understanding is somehow healing... So a BIG THANK YOU ladies. I thought I was nuts to seriously consider to stop taking life saving medication due to what...? Vanity? Body image? i dont know... But I do know that I shouldn't have withdrawn from this site because of my pain; I should have shared it sooner. I just feel like a broken record.
2fried..welcome to the runners club. ;-)
Websister; I TOTALLY identify with you and your mom. I also had to take care of my mom growing up. One nervous breakdown after the divorce and just a narcissistic and fearful person. She's exhausting, and she's my mother, and I love her in SPITE OF HER.0 -
Shianne - good luck with your radiation tomorrow. It must be difficult to climb on to that table knowing that the radiation from the machine is what is causing the pain. My thoughts are with you. I get one more day off and am already dreading Tuesday. I admire your cheerful spirit in spite of what you are going through.
SherylB - so sorry to hear of your pain and fatigue after chemo - do you take L-gluatamine? You might find it will help with the neuropathy. My MO told me that the neuropathy peaks at 4-6weeks after chemo ends. I am 4 weeks past now and have noticed more tingling in my hands and feet - that is why I am carrying on with the supplements. Anything that may possibly help is worth a try. I also take L-carnitine which is supposed to be beneficial for fatigue during radiation. Both of these supplements are amino-acids which aid in cellular repair.
0 -
I'm 2 mo.PFC and still have a little neuropathy in fingers, but slowly improving. MO suggested vit.B6, 200mg a day. RO said it was fine. I figure can't hurt, might help.
0 -
SherylB - the other thing to consider is having your hemoglobin checked, low hemoglobin can cause fatigue and large muscle aching.
Juneau - exactly!
Shianne - sorry to hear about DS break up, hope it all works for the good, she sounds like a lovely person
2Fried - thanks for the pep talk, you are the best!
Thank you to all who voted for my DIL, looks like she won by about 30 votes.0 -
Websister-great that your DIL won. Congratulations.
Juneau-good to see you back. Go easy on yourself. The people who matter love you for who you are. And I see you are still rocking a two piece bathing suit...that is something a lot of women cannot do!
Shianne-hope the rads go well...almost done...woohoo!
SherylB-I hope today is a better one for you.
I'm with Tazzy on the query of a get together...any ideas if and when?
Happy Monday to all you wonderful ladies.
0 -
Good morning everybody!
Aww, SherylB, HUGS to you! Remember only too well the weak, stiff and aching leg muscles PFC, and the neuropathy pain in my feet. It was gone about 3 months PFC. From there it still took some time before the fatique was gone, and I felt strong and normal again. DH did all the grocery shopping, cooking and cleaning; I simply did not have the energy at all. Just sat on the couch for months. My family told me afterwards that I was very quiet for a long time, and I usually talk a lot - was too much PT then. The chemo and rads do a number on our bodies, and it just takes it own time to heal. It is what it is. Lots of sleep is good, also Vit. B for neuropathy/nerve damage. Three of my toes are still numb, and I don't think it's going to change, but it doesn't bother or impede me at all. I'm here and alive - that's all that matters. The other sisters here gave you good advice. Hope it helps!
Shianne, best wishes for the rads. End is in sight! Hopefully it's feeling better after a few days' rest from rads. Hugs to you!
2Fried, thanks for your shared wisdom. We do need that.
Tazzy, I'm also up for a get together. Will be so lovely to meet some of you ladies. We have come through so much together! Maybe start small with the Canadians, and those just south of the border - don't know. Anybody else willing to travel welcome of course. Trying to be creative here . . .
Websister, congrats on DIL's win! She is so deserving of this!
0 -
Wonder if there is a correlation to taking care of depressed mothers at a young age and getting BC. My parents divorce broke my mom and I've been taking care of her since age 13. Love her to death but do so wish she could pull her life together...
Add me to the runners club. Just bought new running shoes today. Now I just need to find the time to go running!
Hugs to all - especially some gentle ones to those still struggling with SEs.0 -
Hi all. Yay!! It's April!! Still cold out, but at least it's sunny! I have my one month post-rad checkup tomorrow with my RO. Things have healed up pretty well, just some minor peeling left. It's been almost two weeks since I started the Tamoxifen. Still tired, but not feeling like I need to go back to bed two hours after i get up anymore. (Oh, the small joys in life-I'll take it!) My mood hasn't picked up much. I guess I'll give my body some more time to get used to the Tamo before I try to up my anti-depressant.
18yo went back to school last night but is coming back home this weekend with a friend, that should be fun. 16yo is going to NYC on a choir/band field trip tomorrow until the 7th. I'm sooooo excited for her, but it will be so strange not to have any kids here! sniff, sniff. Thank God for my dogs. Now if I could just send my husband somewhere......JK!
shianne-((hugs)) This is such a rollercoaster. It can stop anytime now!!!
LorAll- I hear you on the weight thing. I want my energy back so I can start exercising again. I'm also afraid this Tamoxifen will make losing weight harder.
Sheryl-((Hugs!!))
Websister-congrats to DIL!
Adagio-enjoy your day off!!
Anyone get pranked yet today???
0 -
Hello Friends
Hope everyone is playing the fool today - or pranking someone, April fool style that is!
If I had even a tiny bit of energy, I'd be doing some hilarious stuff. But after a busy weekend I am totally wiped out today and feeling that my legs and body are just lead. Hard to walk upstairs, hard to do any light exercise, too tired to even eat. Of course I am drinking lot of fluids around the clock and shuffling along to the bathroom frequently. I bought some organic Agave juice and have been sipping on it over ice and hoping that its miracle properties are just about to hit. My sweet Sister just ran my taxes off to the post office and I am resigned to keeping my swollen legs and feet elevated and continuing with MY April Fool's pity party. I though this would be a higher energy week as I last had 2nd tx of chemo and shot 12 days ago but with just 9 days to go before the next, I am really not sure. What say my fellow Warriors?
0 -
Hi guys, I'm new to this forum, but am a regular on the "TE Problems" forum. I'm a 2 year IDC survivor & am nearly finished with my reconstruction. I only have the tattoos left to get done. Going for consult this week. Anyway, I had some issues with reconstruction, had an infection, had to get one taken out, wait, put back in, blah blah blah. I did have a lot of scar tissue removed on my left side at exchange surgery since that TE was in for 13 months. So I'm really getting back into my workouts (running, spin class, weight training...). I went heavier on the weights about 3 weeks ago, and have this nerve tingling down to my left index finger. It feels like pins and needles zinging down from my neck/shoulder area to my finger. I have spoken to my PS about it, and she says that it's neuropathy likely caused from the heavy weights. She wants me to wait a couple of MONTHS, and if it's still happening, wants to send me to a neurologist, blahh!!! Has anyone else had this neuropathy? It's driving me nuts. Just when I thought I was somewhat in the clear and done with all of the doctor appts, etc... here comes this nerve problem.
0 -
Hey ladies still recovering.. Still waiting on reports.. Pray it's all good ladies.. Love u all just being a little absent from sight in order to heal physically and mentally
0 -
Hello everyone - hope you all managed to have a wonderful Easter. I am just going out into my yard... beautiful sunny warm day here. Blissful 4 day weekend - yay !!!
Went for a fun quad ride in the mountains with DH and friends yesterday - had a blast - very muddy though - but felt like a kid jumping in puddles. Was great to focus on fun and not fbc.
cleaned my house this morning and now out into the sunshine.
Welcome momof3infa - great to have another survivor join our little band.
Yes, we need to think of a plan for a get together - really I am easy wherever is decided.... if its out East I could meet up with you Eastern Canada ladies and we could travel together. Juneau did that place you found only take a minimum of 20 people ??
Wishing minimal SE's to those suffering.
Love you all xxxxx
0 -
Momof3, don't know if you read the lymphedema threads, but they seriously warn against lifting heavy weights. According to them you should start with very light weights, and increase really very slowly. I lifted heavier weights before bc, and went back to the gym last September. Started off with 3 lbs (!!!), and are now up to 5 lbs. Hope to be at 10 lbs in a year. Don't know if the heavier weight could have caused that tingling, and hope you get an answer soon. It is frustrating to deal with all these issues ensuing from bc. Best wishes!
Shari, you get as much rest as possible. In the meantime we are still hoping/praying for negative nodes.
cmbernardi, you keep those legs and feet up. Sorry to hear you are so tired, but that's Taxotere for you. It did the same to me. Was very weak and breathless most of the time - see my post to SherylB higher up. Just take it easy. How many chemo cycles have you got left? Hugs to you!
0 -
Hi all.....Tazzy yay to four day weekends....wish we could have more...glad you had fun.
Juneau....happy you're back with us and posting.
Shari, keep getting better girl, emotionally and physically....praying for good path results
for you.
SherylB.....hoping your pain subsides soon ....❤
Websister.....congrats to your DIL.....a little bird told me it's your birthday tomorrow.....Happy birthday, make it count....💃
My son's friend came over yesterday and brought a bag of chocolate covered pomegranites.....don't tell Jo, she'll want them as I'm sure she's finished the choc jube jubes already.....😋
Welcome momof3infa......the more the merrier.
Chrisrenee.....where are you? are you ok?
Everybody else.....hope all is well.0 -
Hi everyone. I am still trying to catch up from my busy week, but wanted to jump in and give hugs to everyone hat needs them and YAY's to those with good news and finishing up treatments.
I went to a PT evaluation today and although I am having range of motion issues they say that with a couple of weeks of PT it should be back to normal. We will have to see how it goes.
Welcome to the newbie's and take care to everyone else. Hopefully this week will be slower than last week!
Believe -I gave my Momand Sister their bracelets this weekend and they loved them!!!!!!! Their birth day's haven't happened yet, but I couldn't wait any longer so I gave them early. Thanks again to you and your Mom for making these!0 -
Hi Sisters...
I am still in Fla until Thurs. I have just completed a major meltdown for me with real tears a raging....tears of relief and tears of how my (and maybe our lives) will be from here on out. About 2 weeks ago before I left for Fla i noticed on dx breast that on one side you could see each individual pore on side of breast. Did not think much of it..down here in Fla..noticed it still there..nothing else looked weird. Still tannish color from radiation etc. Of course I try to see what this could be here on this site..and find a term "peau d'orange"..where your skin sort of has dimples like an orange skin, which is as close to what I could describe as my symptom... But this is also a tell tale sign of Inflammatory Breast Cancer. I found nothing else it could be and read how aggressive this form of cancer is etc... I tried calling my MO and cannot get to her since she released me to her nurse practioner since I am not in active treatment, and can't even get her to call me. After going in circles I called my BS today and he just called me back. Told me this sounds like edema still from radiation and surgery. Can't believe that over 5 months out of rads this now developed. He will see me when I get back to verify..but told me not to call the coroner.
I cried with relief when I hung up. I had already pictured myself doing chemo, surgery etc..and this summer a deja vu of last summer and diagnosis. I know this is the new me, I don't make things up physically, but if I have any twinge, pain, or rash etc.. now I enter the world I so want to run from. I sent texts to my kids with the updates and told them I love them. I guess this just a reminder to me again how things can change in an instant and to appreciate everything we so often take for granted......
hope recouping going well from surgeries and SE's.... I need to stay well to continue coming down here to care for dad..his poor knee makes mobility so hard. Not sure surgery at 85 is an option...and recoup would be tough too..so we shall see. got the name of a surgeon to talk to, so will probably be down here again before long.
Happy early birthday Websister. By the way, as I am catching up here....I am 53 and wil turn 54 on May 25..and will truly celebrate this birthday!
Hugs to all, will be on more later in week when home.
0 -
Stride,
You are the only other person I have found with similar stats as me. I see you posted that you were vitamin d deficient which I was severely about 3-4 years ago. My rheumatologist told me to stop taking vitd3 when my levels came back up. Some research is showing that deficiency may be linked to BC. My onco has me back on it now and says if your ever vitamin deficient that you should stay on it for life unless you over do it and become toxic but she has only seen that happen once in her years of practice. Anyway, I just wanted to say hello and that it seems like we have a lot in common. Similar stats and vit d deficiency. Take care.0
