2013 Survivors!!!
Comments
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Hahha I laughed for the first time in a bit about the blending it up and puttin it in the toilet and flushing it for good... I would love to curse that shit out while its going down the Toilet as well
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Curse away Shari. If nothing else.... we are good at cursing
DH out playing golf... blissful evening on my own. Unfortunately seems our Spring has taken a break... been raining most of the day. But in this area we'll be grateful of it soon.
Hugs and wonderful evenings to you all xxx
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Just missing Juneau. Did I miss you going away again - hope everything is OK. ((hugs))
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Ok ok so I Spoke to oncologist tonight and she seemed ok with response .. said from doctors standpoint response was typical for er pr posotive.. about 30to 40% shrinkage and from personal standpoint she wishes it would have been a little better like we all did...but all on all she said response was decent. And normal for type of cancer.. not disappointed
Was surprised about extracapsular involvement and wants to talk to pathologist bc she said it seemed weird on such a small lymph node but all in all she said lymph node involvement was small ..
She broke downy recurrence rate and with all my treatment the Chances of it coming back are 13% which is pretty small so I was happy to hear that..really happy to hear that.. Like 87% chance I will never see this shit again.. I really liked that.. She has no reason to lie to me..so I wil take it haha..
She likes me a lot and I think she wanted the very best which she prob wants for all her patients but I guess she hoped for our miracle response as well but she said when she puts her doctor hat on again she knows my response was decent and not as bad as I thought..
Hope it's true bc I feel a little bit more at peace than I have for a bit0 -
Shari: if your MO is happy - you be happy. Remember doctors are not there to be our friends, they are there to give us the facts.
OK - chemo brain.... is it weigh in this week? If so... I am weighing myself like this.
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Shari,
That definitely sounds more positive. Good to hear you are better about things. Wishing you the best. Take care!0 -
Tazzy: LOL!!!! LOVE IT!!! I weighed in yesterday and was still at 173. ...and I've been reading. I guess I feel sort of disconnected these days. I'm feeling impatient and not really like you all want to here me. I suppose I also feel like I don't really have any strength to offer anyone else when I myself am feeling so beat down. *sigh* I meet with my new therapist this weekend. This one will hopefully be a keeper as she specializes in both addiction and survivorship. The one I saw a few weeks ago just said a couple things that were too ignorant in regards to addiction for me to work with her.
It's hard to see those still struggling and not feel a little guilty that I'm past that active part of treatment and able to sleep comfortably, exercise, or just eat a meal without having to brush, rinse and repeat. I suppose I am also getting a little squirrly as i am coming up on my anniversary date. I had my mamo in mid April and had to go back for a second look (which I put off until May). I tourture myself with the "this time last year" thoughts... oh well.
Chrisrenee; hang in there, sounds like your DD is in good hands. I can't imagine the fear, not being a parent, but I got a BIG OLD HUG for you!
I have also been playing Canddy Crush Saga... DON'T START LADIES! I may be an addict, but this game is bringing down my coworkers too! Just sayin'!
xoxo
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Juneaubug... Hugs to you. So sorry you are having such a hard time :-(. Hope your new therapist is of some help to get you thru this rough patch. I totally get the "this time last year" thing. Mammo was last jan and Dx last feb. this year I had a really hard time during jan/feb. but I got thru much with the help of these boards and everyone here :-). I know you will get passed it too.
And OMG!! I am totally hooked on that friggin game too!! Lol. On level 87!
Melissa0 -
Juneau: WTFuck... of course you belong here - no matter what you are feeling, up, down, around, level - you are one of our main women, sister and never forget that. Geesh! your insights and honesty of got me through so much when I felt crap. You dont have to offer strength... being you in enough. Those "this time last year" feelings are so 'normal' - crappy as they are. I was the same the last 2 weeks of March. But we know we can get over them - we've got over too much not to.... and you have got over much more than most of us. Okay... off my soap box. Just please dont feel like that - you mean so much to us all. I think I will enjoy giving you a slap when we meet up. love you sister xxxxxxxxxxxx
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😃Thanks tazzy....will try and keep that positive feeling..
I know so many obsessed with candy crush as well not there yet0 -
Juneau: Oh! and only half off the soap box... guilt is part of our new fucking normal. Hope the new therapist finds you peace. (((hugs)))
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juneau - stick around and chat with us lady - we love you no matter your mood! The beauty of this place is treatment level, diagnosis particulars, mood, mental state of being, weight, hair length, etc etc etc don't matter!
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Ramols/Tazzy:
Melissa; I'm stuck on 97!0 -
Weigh in day, arrrrg. My weight is still 213 but I am not freaking out yet because I am figuring the fat is changing to muscle weight. I can tell I am losing inches with my Livestrong workouts so hopefully in another couple weeks the weight will move downwards again.
Have a great Friday everyone!
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Juneau,
Please continue to share no matter your mood or feelings. I use these threads like journaling, as you know saying it, or writing it takes some of the power out of the feelings. When folks as strong as you share your down/negative feelings IMHO it makes the rest of us realize we are not alone in our negative/down feelings. I too feel some survivor guilt because I can taste stuff again and other than fatigue and weakness I feel more normal than I have since December. Don't you dare leave us.
Hugs, Sheryl
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Juneau - I'm probably going to repeat and don't be rolling your eyes! DON'T YOU EVER GO AWAY!!!! I can't say anything about your recovery because I've never gone through it nor do I know anyone. However I do know a little bit about this time last year and what I refer to as my survivors guilt. I see some of our sisters here still going through treatment and struggling and feel bad that I am past that point when they still have a way to go. So hottie sister never think we don't want you here no matter the mood! Remember I'm close if you want to get together and I'm up in north jersey every three weeks!
Tazzy - you crack me up! How I wish you were a Jersey girl! The times we would have!
Chrisnrenee - I meant to say this the other day that I'm thinking of you and your DD. I don't know what I would do if that was me. Big hugs to you all!
Shari - hang in there. My surgeon told me I have a less than 10% recurrence risk over the next 15 years. Which is great but I still worry. What I'm saying is (like one of my favorite show) this is The New Normal. However you are young and beautiful and have tons of real and virtual support. I'm not too far from you either!
Scottie - close your ears...
Going to Hershey this weekend and can't wait! I love their hot chocolate!
As far as weight goes I'm up a couple. But I'm not stressing. My sister and I had this talk. I'm giving up "dieting" and will try "eating healthier". In my head getting and staying healthy should be more important. So as soon as it warms up the bike comes out and the farmers markets get hit! And hopefully that will lead to weight loss.
And on a final note - thank you all for the prayers and good wishes for Roger. He is home and next week will meet with MO that treated his kidney cancer since that is where it started. A fight ahead but his wife is by his side.
To all - have a great weekend with happy thoughts!0 -
Shari, that's fantastic!!!! I'm so glad to hear you are more positive :-D happy thoughts, happy hearts!!
Juneau...Any therapist who leaves you feeling upset or angry should not be in business. Good for your for changing!!
Yes, honey we want to hear, we want you here. As someone who has experienced everything you are a fountain of knowledge!!! Please don't leave us :-(
Although I'm a few months from my anniversary date I can imagine the anxiety it will bring. Yes this time lat year.... But that was a year ago and you are still here looking smoking hot in a bikini btw, and cancer free!!!! Celebrate this last year as a year of healing and growth!
Candy Crush!!! ughhhh. I've started, I'm addicted lol. Frustrating as hell
SherylB is right, that was the exact feeling I had coming here and finding you sisters. "I'm not alone!!!" No one could understand how I felt emotionally, you did. And honestly, the advice and suggestions from survivors meant more to me than that of the drs!! You experienced it first hand. You KNOW what it's like, how it feels. That s priceless knowledge!!!
Level 87 & 97???? Holy shit!!!! I'm on 36 and been there for a week!!
Shari, try it lol at first it's mindless fun. Doesn't take much concentration at all and passes the time while you recoup.
I'm trying to get up the energy to shower and go grocery shopping. It's either that or back to bed. Decisions, decisions, decisions....0 -
Thank you ladies! New game for me! Currently I am having an addiction to Bubble Town2.
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Juneau: think you have been well and told to stay
So in a democratic world, most votes win. (((hugs)))Karen - would've been dangerous had I been a Jersey girl - have a hot chocolate for me.
Well it is still bloody raining here. Tomorrow our dept. at work is going to a colleague house who was dx'd last year with colorectal and lymph cancer. His wife, in not only looking after him, but trying to raise 2 kids as well, couldn't get any yard work done, so there are about 20 of us heading over to clean up for them. Whatever the weather, its good to pay it forward eh?
Hugs to all ladies xxxxxxxx
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Tazzy..you and your colleagues are angels...am sure they will be so appreciative.
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Tazzy, that is so sweet!!! Very kind of all of you
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Tazzy, that's a beautiful thing you guys are doing....angels indeed!!!!
Juneau......you so belong here.
Karen ears closed but eyes open....👀......lol
Shari.....keep it up...❤
Chrisrenee.....thinking about your beautiful daughter......how is she?0 -
Tazzy, just yesterday heard from good friends of ours who will be visiting their nephew in Kelowna who has the exact ca diagnosis as you are describing - what are the chances? Must be the same guy. What a wonderful thing to do! Last year when DH was so busy working fulltime and taking care of me, the neighbours cleaned up our garden. We will never forget their kind, thoughtful gesture. This moved me to tears more than any ca could.
Juneau, I'm also pretty low at this point, especially re the weight loss struggle on Tamoxifen. These last two days I've simply given up, and have been pigging out on chocolates, crackers and everything else. That pill gives me a raging appetite that I can't control. Enough said, but don't you go awol on us. We will come and find you! We can be fat together - LOL!
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liefie... there is too much of it - so sad for everyone.
We are all looking forward to helping out !
Hugs everyone.
Scottie... eyes and ears closed please.
Gonna crack a beer with my DH and have a nice cozy evening in.
Have wonderful weekends everyone... as Ramols says "go find your happy".
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Tazzy.....you'll work that beer off tomorrow.....ha ha 🍻
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Juneau-I'm not sure what your situation is, but my DH has been sober for 16 years now. It's not easy, but a good therapist is a must!! Good for you for looking for a new one. The other one should have his or her liscense to practice taken away!! I've only been here a couple of weeks and feel like all of you are my lifeline right now. I've seen the way everyone supports one another, and you are a pro! This is the place you should be, especially when you're feeling low!!!!!
Tazzy-How kind you all are! Everyone should pay it forward..I think the world would be a lot better place!!
KarenZ-I love The New Normal!!! Sooooo Funny! I haven't gotten into Candy Crush. Still trying to finish all of the angry bird levels.
shianne-wishing you some energy! Mine is so up and down. It'll def be an early night tonight. this glass of wine probably won't help that, but it sure hits the spot!!
shari-it takes a while to process all of the info. I'm so glad you're finding some peace!
I saw a cancer psychologist this a.m. While she hasn't had it herself, she is specially trained to deal with cancer patients. She was really nice, great to talk to. She validated all of the feelings I'm having right now. (post-treatment blues, fatigue, no motivation, anger at family who don't keep in touch-(my twin sister for God's sake!) etc. etc.
She's going to help me make a plan and set small, doable goals to help get me out of this rut. She said physical exercise is the number one way to help depression and boost mood. I'm going to take my dog for three 5-minutes walks next week. (I'm pretty sure a five minute walk is doable-ha!) I'll do it in the morning, set out my clothes, shoes, the dog leash, the night before. Get up in the morning, get dressed, have my coffee, don't turn on the compter, the TV or anything else that might get in the way of my getting out the door. I'm so happy to have a plan. She wants me to write down all of the positives I can think of for taking my dog for a walk so i have something visual I can refer to. I'll see her again in 1 1/2 weeks and work on the next thing.
I'm so thankful I have you guys to vent, ask advice, laugh with, cry with, unconditionally, and get it.
Healing hugs (((mental and physical!))) Sheila
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Hi gang,
Back in Ohio...went to the BS today. That "peau d'orange" fear I had is edema. He said that there is more fluid due to surgery (space where tissue out) and would normally drain via SNL that was taken out too. He said and I kid you not that I should try to prop breast up at home when lying down, much like you would your legs with swollen ankles. My DH has happliy volunteered to help with this endeavor
. I asked if any massage therapist would help...he said that would work more for arm which I have no issue. My bra feels like I have had it on for 12 hours after only 1...so gonna have to see if I can find another type or perhaps a bigger size. Being big already, that is not an easy feat. Oy...Chrisrenee, thoughts with you and your beautiful daughter..
Shari, keep up the rest and recoup..you will get through this one step at a time!
Juneau, we all belong here to vent, rant, laugh, share and care together! Look how far we have all come..and how far we will all go! I am sure we can all say that being here has helped us get through alot of despair TOGETHER!
Karen..while in Hershey have a big one of these for me!
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Shiela (SWgee) this has been my lifeline as well, good for you for setting goals!!! Maybe I will try that 5 min walk too. Not yet tho lol, going to recoup from rads another week lol
Juneau, I hope you're paying attention to how much we love you and that we will all miss you if you go!!
Aruba, so glad your orange only needs propping lol.
My family wants an out door day tomorrow. We're going to have a chili roast and bonfire, should be fun but I'm really not planning on mch more than sitting in a chair by the fire.
Good night everyone, sweet dreams0 -
Hi all. Sorry for my absence. I haven't kept up with things here and I feel guilty. You all were here for me through it all. When chemo finished, I felt cured. Why talk about it when everything is fine? Ya know. I now think its hitting me a little. I have 3 surgeries on April 17. Oophorectomy, major reconstruction (hopefully the 4th and final) and a tummy tuck. I decided since I HAD to have all the unwanted damn surgeries, I was gonna get one I've always wanted. However, I feel empty inside.
I looked in the mirror as I changed into my night clothes and I had to flex my chest for something. It's so disgusting and misshapen. I know my PS is going fix all that but seeing it puts it all into reality for me again. This is me...the new me I never asked to be changed. I liked the old me. I want my husband to think I'm pretty (not that I have any proof that he doesn't) I WANT TO FEEL PRETTY. None of this "bald is beautiful" shit. If bald is beautiful and the old you was good, then what the hell is this in between stage where you have hair but its too short to brush? I WANT THE OLD ME!!!!!!!!!!0 -
Juneau, I just started reading some comments and I'm where you are. I feel I have nothing positive to add to the boards anymore. I'm pretty much done. How can something so significant completely consume your life and then be gone. Not that I'm missing it physically but the emotional part thrives on. What now? As for Candy Crush, I'm stuck on 201. Ugh.
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