2013 Survivors!!!
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SwgeeWI-I live in Solon, a suburb of Cleveland. I do know of Findley as I grew up in Fort Wayne, IN. I looked up Powell and see it is near Dublin in Columbus....son went to OSU and know I71 and 275! A bustier, oy the visual. Me and Madonna, but I am closer to DDD than AAA!
Gang, after my scare last week and feeling that I may have edema boob for quite some time that is uncomfortable and having more of a feeling of not putting things off... I decided today that I am going to plan a getaway for next month. As hubby and son have a weekend getaway planned, I decided today to do a getaway with my daughter (the soccer coach in Indiana). She knows I want to meet up with her on memorial day weekend, what she does not know is that I am today working on booking us a trip to New Orleans....We both have never been there and I hear there is lots of people watching, good food, little shops and riverboats to see. My birthday is that Sat. and spending a few days with her going somewhere new is to me PRICELESS! My poor DH, with me having just gotten back from Fla, planning a trip in early May to see dear friends in Chicago and now this....is shaking his head with a smile but happy to see me planning ahead. With no job now and realizing things can change in a second...I am trying to live life more here and now!
Speaking of trips...I so wish that we could all go down the road and meet up for some good drinks,food and hugs! I think planning a meet up somehow would be such good medicine for us all. Just the anticipation would do us good. I smile just thinking of us torturing Scottiee1 with our antics
Scottiee, you are a very special to all of us! Being here for each other feels good both as a giver and reciever of the rants, the laughs and the hugs! Lots of those hugs are coming your way today....just as you have sent so many to us!
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Believe.....the flowers are beautiful......they always cheers me up. ❤
Aruba....thank you for your kind words....brought a tear to my eye....happy tear though.
I know we are all special to one another here....I love you all. I just feel guilty when I'm down to come on and "whine". So many of you have gone through so much more than me and I feel "weak" rather than "strong" when I do this. I feel guilty especially for the
new ones....I want to give them hope and a feeling that life will be good again. But
I guess they have to know the reality of our new life....a roller coaster.....hopefully more ups than downs though. Hopefully summer being round the corner will give us lots of
joyeous days....☀0 -
Good afternoon ladies. I am sorry to hear so many of you are feeling down. I will start by completely validating your feelings and give you all ginormous hugs. But then - I will say this. Dig deep down if you can and find the things about you that do make you happy. Here - I'll go first. I feel pretty confident that I'm a good mom and a good wife. And I know that I'm pretty darn good at my job. I'm proud of myself that I didn't give into this f'ing disease and that I fought as hard as I could to kick it into submission. Do I like the way my fboobs look when I look in the mirror? No. Do I like the way my short hair is growing back in? No. Do I feel confident when I walk out the door nonetheless? Yes. And mind you this is new for me. I've never been one with a great deal of confidence about my outer appearance. But somehow battling breast cancer has given me a new found confidence. We are all warriors. We all found new strengths in ourselves over this past year. And these are what shine through to the outside and are what people see when they look at us. So embrace the fact that you kicked cancers ass as best you could (or are working as hard as you can to kick it now), try to enjoy each day for the fresh new blessing that it is, and love yourself. I am 100% certain that if you all look inside - you'll find a million reasons to love yourselves. I love you all. Please go find your happy today! It's an order!!!
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Believe, thanks for the yellow flowers. It reminds of sunshine which always helps.
Scottiee, you're so right about feeling guilty about whining when we have so much to be grateful for. I try to always be upbeat, but in the end we do have feelings, and sometimes those feelings go to places where we don't want them to go, especially after traumatic experiences such as we have all experienced. Our bodies may be okay now, but our minds have to catch up. Through this whole cancer ordeal last year and up till now I have managed to remain positive and optimistic, so I was probably bound to crash and burn at some stage.
Ramols, thanks for that order. Will try my best!
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I really get now when people say the mind is a powerful thing.....never gave it much thought before BC. Yes, our bodies can heal but oh it's so bloody hard to get the mind to do the same thing....it's the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but I will, we will, do it
because we are strong, compassionate and caring women and we deserve to be at peace with ourselves.....ok, enough ranting for today....I hope you all enjoy the restofnthe weekend.....bring on summer...☀😎0 -
Summer?? We are still waiting for spring to make an appearance around here... Haha!
All that cold, gloomy weather certainly doesn't help. I've been down lately too. It does help to know you're not alone.0 -
Did any of you have red bloodshot eyes on ac or taxol treatment? If so, any help is appreciated. Was at my grandson's 1st birthday party today and my nastalgic daughter wanted pics of him with his grandma's. Hardest thing to do is sit there while everyone took pics with my baseball cap on trying not to cry. Not really a memory I want in pics. Had a cry when done when daughter wasn't looking. Other grandma there with her hair. This BC is not kind or fair. I try to be strong but have my weaknesses too. Take care all. Thanks for listening to my emotional meltdown.
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Sandy - I hear you about the hair issue. For me having no hair throughout chemo never phased me, but the other day it dawned on me that I most likely won't have hair worth talking about for close to a whole year - that was kind of depressing. Thank God for a nice wig! Do you have a wig? I don't wear mine a lot, but I do enjoy having it when I am going out and being with a lot of people and want to appear "normal" if you know what I mean. Try not to worry about your hair - all of this will pass before we know it. Just remember that your little grandson doesn't care about whether you have hair or not - he loves you just the same - no matter what!
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Sandy - I completely know how you feel. I did not want anyone taking pictures of me when I was bald. I had my mother take a family picture right before I lost my hair and I haven't let anyone take pictures of me since (although I think my mom and sister got a few group ones with me in the back). I am 7 months PFC and although my hair is about 3 inches long I still don't want any pictures yet.
Another thing I hate is when my Mom and Grandma tell me they love my short haircut and I should keep it this way. My response is I did not choose to cut my hair short and I will not get it cut until it is back past my shoulders like it was before BC. Although I like the fact that it is long and thick enough that people just think I got it cut short, I still miss my long hair and can't wait until it is back to my pre-BC length. It is also much more curly now so I hope I can stand it through the growing out stage long enough to get it long again. Hopefully it will grow longer and not fuller.
Hugs to everyone! Good night.0 -
Here's the last of my Galveston minivaca.
I think we all get down and really just don't want to put up with anything. Damnit, we deserve it! As long as we stay together we will through all this. I love you all. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.
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Have been struggling through my surfery recovery mentally more than physically..the mental struggle is definitely harder than the physical...
Mostly lurking on the site.. As I don't have much to say at the moment..I am ok just not great..... Just saying hi and that u r all great and know I am around and thinking of u all...
Ramols.. I loved ur last post.. And the positivity0 -
Thanks adagio and momof3greatkids,
I do have some wigs but don't wear them. Like my hats, my head is extremely sensitive and anything on my head seems to give me migraines. So, I wear a lot of fleece stocking caps. Not sure what I will do when spring/summer comes. Thank you for letting me vent. I know there will be times like these, just don't know how to digest them sometimes. Hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend. Take care (hugs).0 -
Well. well, well..... I am not here for a day or so and you all fall apart
So I can see that there are a few here who think that because they have nothing positive to offer they are staying away.... I can see that when we meet up, and we will, I am going to have to slap more than Juneau. Ladies - whatever it is you have here is the place....we dont care if you just post and say 'hi... pissed off again' as long as you are still here. That's why we are here to help each other get through the bad times. Dont anyone of you dare go anywhere.... you do not want me to come and hunt you down.
So we had a wonderful day.... 12 of us there and totally transformed their garden... it really was so overgrown. As you can imagine, his wife, who works and they have 3 boys 8, 10, 12 - poor woman, last thing on her mind was the yard. Put their gazebo up, powerwashed their deck and drive, cleaned their windows, did dump runs... looked so nice afterwards, and boy does it feel good to do something like that.
Unfortunately Daryl is not doing so good. cancer now gone to his liver and lungs and he is going to have to endure 5 more months of 2 week chemo sessions. Felt so good to be there for him. He said I was the first person he could relate to who knew what chemo was like, who understood that feeling when the few days before the next session, you felt OK, and then you had to go and have the shit kicked out of you again!
I am absolutely bloody knackered now - gonna have a hot tub and just relax.
I will catch up later and read the posts properly, but for now, love you all, have peaceful sleeps, and enjoy your weekend.
Remember... "Its the game of life. So do I win or do I lose? One day their gonna shut the game down and I gotta have as much fun and go aorund the board as many times as I can before its my turn to leave" (Tupac 1971-1996).
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Wonderful post ramols.
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Tazzy - I just love you. You know just what to say to jump start us. What a wonderful thing you did for your friend today. Hope the hot tub was just what you needed.
Ramols, I agree with Tazzy, wonderful post.
Shari - Be gentle with yourself, mentally and physically. You've come a long way.
Chrisrene - Glad you and DH had time away. Bet it was nice this week esp. the past 2 days.
Got some happy today. Moved some plants outside, filled hummingbird feeders, made salmon and roasted asparagus (benefit of DH being gone, things he would not eat). Nice shower and headed to bed shortly. DH is never gone so I didn't think I would sleep last night. No problemo. Phone woke me at 0800; DH asking how to bake the breakfast dish I sent with him. Have to set the alarm for Sunday School and set coffee maker. With DH gone I have to feed goats b4 I leave, but outsmarted them and put out hay/water this evening. TTYL.
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Oh my gosh!! I don't usually post on this thread I wasn't sure if I was concidered a 2013 survivor.. I was just lurking around and not having a great day.. Like all of you I have been so positive through this BC beast.. Had treatment #5 on Thursday. One more to go.. I should be sooo happy, but instead had a total MELTDOWN today.. Yes body is healing but my mind is racing with all the what if's. So glad I found you..
Liefie, Luvmy so happy to see you on this thread..
I really don't like to whine. I have so so much I'm thankful for.. Wonderful husband! Wonderful children..
And a beautiful 3 year old granddaughter. I guess it was also just my time to fall..
I hope you all have a good night.. Tomorrow will be a better day:)
Ramols I agree loved your post!0 -
Everyone here is wonderful...no matter if you feel you are whining, unhappy, scared, happy or just plain pissed off.
We have all been there at one time or another. Tomorrow is another day and we need each other..hang in there!
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Argh, I just wrote a long post and then accidentally deleted it. I think I'm going to have to respond in pieces.
Schatzi, just wanted to let you know you are not alone in the anti-hormonal for ER- cancer weirdness. I took my first Tamoxifen pill today. My cancer was entirely ER- from the beginning. It was PR+ before chemo changed it to triple-negative, but never ER+.
(Digression: Anyone who says triple-negative responds better to chemo really does not have the full picture. I watched 25-year-old Kita in the last months of her life fighting triple-negative IDC that was resistant to every kind of chemo known to man. And in my case, hormone-positive disappeared and triple-negative GREW during chemo. I try to be patient when I hear people say that, but it really makes me angry. Why say something like that? Who does it help?)
Anyway, regarding the anti-hormonals, I don't blame you for wanting to quit, Schatzi. I figure Tamoxifen is worth a shot if my oncologist recommends it. And hopefully it will be easier than the kind of drug you are taking. But if the side effects are bad, then I probably won't stick with it, either.
That said, I have a couple of questions for people taking Tamoxifen:
Is it better to take it at night or in the morning?
If you ate grapefruit before, did you stop? My husband and I ate it every single morning, until today.
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It does sound like a lot of folks on this thread have had some bad days recently. But things will get better if you stick it out. Eventually the good days will outweigh the bad.
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Sandy65, I found eye drops helped a lot during chemo. Not the normal Visine kind, but the kind that mimic tears. Chemo can really dry out your eyes.
Aruba, a trip to New Orleans with your daughter sounds like such a great way to spend your birthday! So much to see and do there.
Ramols, you are a wise lady.
Believe, thanks for the flowers!
Shari, hope you're healing up well.
Tazzy, I'm jealous of your greenhouse and garden, and I haven't even seen it! Sounds like you'll be having some great salads this spring.
Luvmygoats, I love your dedication to your animals. For someone who's not an outdoors person, it sounds like you enjoy farming!
Chrisrenee, thanks for sharing the photos! And Believe, thanks for posting the flowers! Those things can really help brighten people's moods.
Everyone else, you also rock my world. Just keep being you. I read this board every day, but never have time and place to post. But I love the fact that you're all here.
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Stride,
Thanks. I have been using artificial tears for a couple weeks now and has helped but the last week or so, eyes are bloodshot and one is sore. Seems to get sorer as the day goes by. Seems better today but may get worse as night falls. Hope I don't have an infection in it. Anyway, I hear what you are saying about tn. Of course, you and I have talked about this before. Lately, I have been feeling all kinds of little spots in both breasts but trying not to panic. Don't see onco till 24th so will be stressing about that for a couple weeks I guess. Just reiterates that maybe a dmx would have been a better option had I been given it. MO is still going to put me on Tamoxifen though. Take care. Thinking of you all.0 -
Chrisrenee - I will split my time tomorrow in you and your DD pockets tomorrow. What snacks do you want me to bring?
Believe - love the flowers!
Aruba - love the saying.
Shari - I did not have bloodshot eyes during chemo but you may want to contact your MO office since it may be an infection since your immunity is way down.
Ramols - love what you said. I have been thinking about what you said and it really made my day as it made me realize that I am a great Mom and Wife and that I survived a really hard year and still was a great Mom throughout! I survived my biopsy, lumpectomy and SNB,, chemo and all my allergic reactions each week during taxol, 35 radiation treatment with major burning and loos of skin (yes, I was one of the few people that burned really bad), a hysterectomy and oopherectomy and coming up PT for my shoulder and then hernia repair surgery in July. I did all of this while still working and being the best Mom that I could be! Thanks for making me think of all this and get me out of my funk.
Hugs to everyone and Thanks for being here for me and truly understanding everything!!!!!!!0 -
Stride, I started taking Tamoxifen at night because it makes me a little lightheaded for an hour or so...but it also gives me horrifying dreams & insomnia, so I am back to mornings!
And what's this about grapefruit?! Is that on the no list, too?!0 -
Believe thanks we needed those posies. You and your posies brighten our day
Ramos Beautiful and so true.
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Hi all ...back from my 2 weeks in Florida ... I cannot keep up with everything ... I have missed so much. Please know you are in my thoughts and are all so very special ... Hugs to you all.
Joanne0 -
Hi ladies. Hope everyone had a good weekend and is feeling a little better :-).
On that busy weekend I had it is finally over! Yay! My dd win her game yesterday and last night wound up getting some kind of stomach bug but wanted to play in the tournament today anyway. We drove 2 hrs. She played the first game and was named MVP! She played so good even sick. The second game she started feeling crappy so the coach told us to take her home and not play the third game. We are so proud of her! And it was funny. She is tiny. 10 yrs old 60 lbs. but she has a really powerful swing. But of course the other team didn't know that. When she got up to bat the coach called all the girls in on the infield and outfield assuming she wasn't gonna hit it far! Well she ripped a line drive out to center field! I was cracking up at the coaches face! Anyway great day :-). Now she's in bed.
And at the tournament I started talking to a mother of a girl new to the team who I really didn't know too well. She asked how I was doing?? Apparantly she heard about my Dx and everything else. Found out she's a 5 yr survivor. Went thru chemo and radiation. Was giving me some advice :-). First thing she said was I know this time is probably the hardest for u now that u are done with treatment and I know everyone's probably assuming you are great and saying you're done you should be happy. She is so right and it was nice to hear it from someone who understands how we are feeling even after active treatment. That we r not great and still trying to deal with this crap thrown at us!
Hugs to all!
Melissa0 -
Melissa119,
MVP, that's great. I loved watching my kids in sports. Of course, I was a parent that was quite loud in the crowd. I have a lot of memories from then. Sorry your daughter is sick though. Hope she gets better soon. Take care.0 -
Stride how did u know ur hormonal status changed thru chemo.. That's scary to think can happen...but how did they monitor it
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