2013 Survivors!!!
Comments
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Aruba - see if you can get a referral to a lymphadema therapist... They can help with trunkel swelling!
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Cindyl, I asked BS today if it was lymphedema and getting a therapist..he said lets keep an eye on it and will see when I go back for mammo again in July etc. Think he feels it is not that bad at this time. I am going to see my MO's asst on Tues for first time since I am not in active treatment...I am shoved off from Dr. Will ask them about it too.
Mrs. Cinch...welcome back!
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I think it's never a bad idea to get a baseline eval... I was lucky in that my RO is very proactive in bouncing his patients to PT...
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Hi everyone just checking in on my mini getaway.
Juneau Marie- let me just say this, if you go we ALL go. You made this page for all of us. We are a dysfunctional functional family- we work through it and we STAY. You want to vent fine, we will try to cheer you up. but we will always be here for you. Never forget that. As far as your therapist, find one that you feel comfortable with. We are all so proud of you for how far you have come. I think a lot of us how survivor guilt. I know I do. I feel I have said it before about not feeling like what I've done is near what someone else has done (chemo/rads). We love you!
I have blown my diet so bad it's not even funny! We had breakfast had a snack at 4 a double scoop of ice cream from Ben and jerrys I ate the entire thing guilt free, sorry mom (Scottie). Had dinner at Logan's roadhouse then Jon and I went to the rainforest cafe and split a volcano (brownie with vanilla icecream whipped cream chocolate and caramel sauces). Again 100% guilt free, I did drink water and lots of it, took away a few calories from my splurging. I've enjoyed connecting with my hubby again and just saying stupid shit and laughing.
Believe- NED and I have gone to Houston, Galveston and home tomorrow. We have missed our kiddos today.
I hope everyone has a good day. I will catch back up on everything tomorrow. Love you all!0 -
Took you all to the beach!
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Love the pictures of the beach Chrisrenee, thanks! It has been so cold in CT still it is making me even more grumby. I need warmer weather. I love the snow and cold for a whole, but I've had enough this year already. In 2 weeks we are going to the beach in NC and I can't wait. I am so looking forward to long walks on the beach with the DH and kids.
Work has also been crazier lately. We have a person that had been out caring for her husband since he was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer in early December so I have been doing the work of 2 people and it is getting to me. I feel bad for BJ's situation and understand why she is out, but I wish they would get us some more help until she comes back in June. I can't keep up and it is only getting worse. I really need the vacation. I am truly going to enjoy myself if I can hang in there 2 more weeks. The insomnia is not helping either.
I was working just now to try and catch up a bit, but the computers are down at work again so I can't work anymore for now. I wish I could go back to sleep, but I am wide awake.
Enough of my rant. Tomorrow is supposed to be warm and sunny so I am looking forward to being outside with the family.
Take care everyone and hugs to those who need them.0 -
Hi all.....well it seems like some of us are going through a "down patch" including myself.
I haven't been posting much either for the same reason. I kept hearing that the farther out you get, the easier it becomes. This has not happened yet for me, in fact the farther out I get, the lonelier I become. I have let so many friends go, friends I've known for 25 yrs who were, I thought, like sisters. I gave so much to these women over the years in the way of love and support and when it came to my time, I didn't get it. It has just hit me now, like a ton of bricks really. The other thing that's scaring me is that I don't really care anymore as I can't relate to them nor do I seem to want to. When they tell me things like
Oh my cleaning lady didn't show up and I have the book club ladies coming tonight, what
am I going to do???? WTF...!!!!!!!! I think OMG I wish I had this problem!!!!
I was also thinking that I don't have anything to offer, but that's not true. So we are having a "down patch" at the moment.....this will pass and I also feel that it is my responsibility to be here for anybody who may need help, advice , support or just an ear
as I need from you now, just an ear as I let out my feelings to my new family here who
get everything I'm saying, assuming any of it makes sense, that is......lol
Love you all....❤0 -
Scottie, Every one of us belongs on this site and we need you and Juneau and everyone else to keep sharing.
I missread your post at first and thought you were the one whose cleaning lady didn't show up. LOL
There is no one in the world outside of here that will ever truly understand what we are or have gone through so we have to stick together and share as we feel comfortable.
Chrisrenee, thanks for sharing the pics, I am so ready for nice weather.
Momof3kids, I can totally relate, work has been unreal the last couple months. My coworker was out 8 weeks caring for her mother and now will be out another 6 weeks for maternity leave. Plus we were short staffed before that all started but funny how management never seems to notice. The only vacation I get to look forward to is my swap May 13th. Woo hoo.
Have a great Saturday everyone!0 -
Iatigger....I have a live in cleaning lady.......ME....lol
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I am still a newbie and dont want to say much. But here are my thoughts. I always thought myself as different than my group of friends or family even before DX. Even with their regular problems of ' no cleaning lady today' or ' husband acting up' my problems used to trump it. Our life has been tougher when compared to many of my friends or family. It used to bother me earlier. Once I was going through a bad patch with my daughter's health and was talking to my mom. She said the only way you can get peace is look at someone who is in worse state than you and count your blessings. It was tough to practice at first. But now I don't let anything bother me much. I still have the same friends and family ofcos
but I don't let anything to my heart. We used to work with no kill animal shelters and took care of deprived animals. Now I am looking at doing something for children with health issues. I think helping them I will help myself. I want my daughter to become a strong person and lead a normal life in case I won't be around that long to be with her during her life's crisis, they way my mom is.0 -
Ladies- I love the honesty about how Some of us are feeling and thank you for sharing! Juneau and mrscinch - read your post and I think I can relate as all of us can. I have some many ups and down it is wearing me out. I really freaking miss my therapist I had till right after my bmx then she was cut from the hospital budget and I haven't found another one. My hospital has seemed to drop me from existence. I need to find a regular doctor here as I had not had one so that is another challenge I have. I am fat:) ok maybe not fat but chubby and I carry my weight on my small frame in my tummy and hips and back. My hair is crazy and I don't want to get it cut because I want it to grow but it looks like a birds nest and is really course. I swear I look like I have my mothers hair and that is not a good thing:) my fboobs are ugly, scares across them and they are too far apart but I don't want another surgery to fix them. I wake up at 3 am every morning and basically with panic attacks lately. I am losing it daily and sometimes think fuck was this all worth it. I know I know I am depressed and running helps me get through these times and these thoughts. So yes girls this is the place to share because we have these moments and we can hold each other hands. Tomorrow I might feel better but today I just need to type these crazy thoughts out. For those starting treatments and still doing them I am sorry because hearing these thoughts probably don't help but I promise it is not like this every day for me. I just have some periods of down days and I have to find whys to get through them. You focus is on getting through your treatments and surgeries now. I would highly suggest finding a therapist to help you if you need too. It was so helpful for me to work on all the anxiety I was feeling.
I have to go to Dallas for work next week and my biggest fear is putting on clothes that show my body. I hate that everyone I work with is going to see how ugly I am right now and chubby. Sad thought huh! I should not give a crap as I have been through hell and back for 12 months. I am scared I am going to have to do it all over again lately and it consumes my thoughts. Work is so hard to do with this mindset too!
Oh well welcome to my positive morning post:( I am going to get my ass outside for a run and work on my happy:) right Ramols!
I am so glad I have all you who can understand some of these feeling!
Hugs!0 -
Scottie I am right there with you. I think our cleaning ladies deserve raises.
bhlri, welcome to the group.0 -
Good morning ladies,
Just wanted to say that I too am dealing with feeling down. I have finished chemo Yeah! and start rads Monday (hopefully) and woke up today just feeling like crap, not so much physically but mentally. It helps me to know I am not alone. It will be sunny and 72 degrees here today so I know I need to get outside to shake this mood. Now comes the hard part getting out of the chair. My only contribution is to say hang in there this too shall pass,, that I know.
Hugs, Sheryl
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My nausea has returned so I take gravol and it makes me sleep ....I'm becoming addicted to it........I fall asleep of course so no pain, anxiety or fear. Do I need to join a gravol anonymous group😱
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Up and down seems to be the new normal. It's hard to not think about BC. It sorta overwhelms most of all my thoughts. How can we not think about what's next for us. Scary, especially when you read about the woman in this group that died suicide by cop. We need each other to lift each other up even when we push back. Hang in there ladies.
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LorAll.....did I miss something due to my own selfishness?????? Someone committed
suicide from our group!!!!!!!!0 -
Scottie, I'm wondering the same thing!?!? Who died?!?
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Aruba- how about a bustier? LOL. How's that for a visual? I may have asked you already but can't remember..where are you in Oh? I'm from Findlay, still have three sisters there, two in Findlay, one in Powell. Hope you had a great time in Fla. the Midwest winters suck and I do believe this was the longest one in history!
Luanne-your chili roast and bonfire sounds like heaven!
MrsCich-sending you healing thoughts, prayers and hugs! That's one of the benefits of being here. You don't have to be in a good place to post here, just feel the love from others who get what you're going through. Please cut yourself some slack, you've been through hell. We'll be in your pockets on April 17th. Hang in there! (((Hugs)))0 -
Mcook, my foobs are way far apart too. My scars are ugly. My foobs fall under my arms because the scar tissue didn't hold. This is one of the many things my PS is fixing. I too am fat. I've put on 30 lbs since diagnosis and I have no motivation to lose it. I mean, I want to but sitting at home all day (I've been off work since Aug at the request of my company) isn't easy.
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Mrscinch- how about both of us promise to get outside today for atleast and walk:) let's get our asses our there! Ready set go! 15 minutes? I have to run 6 miles so I am heading out now in the rain. Let's do this. Got your hand and will carry it with me on my run! So here goes chubby to run 15 minute miles in the rain
hugs! I will take out my dam frustrations on that pavement! 0 -
Scottiee - It was someone from the 2010 group but she was or had been active on chat on here. I find her mentioned on some of the groups that I browse only. Went by SV (Still Vertical) here with real name of Melissa Jenkins from North Carolina. So sad when reading about her. I feel for all of her BCO mates here as well as her family.
Oddly enough I think spring for a lot of people is not all it is cracked up to be. Now those of you from snow and zero degrees yes it is an improvement. I really am not a spring person because I hate (yes a strong word) Texas summers just around the corner. And really not much of an outdoors person anyway.
But - have been up and fed the goats. Have to take little inside one out to nurse the 2 mamas and put her out in pen for the day. DH is gone for the weekend. Friends have gone to Oklahoma just 1.5 hours away camping - well not so much camping, cabin with heat/air/full kitchen/regular beds. I had to stay home to take care of little goaty. Can get a goat sitter for others but no way was someone going to care for her like I or DH would. Couldn't talk DD into coming to sub (even with a generous pay). So I had to stay. Thought it would be fun but lonely already. He'll be home tomorrow afternoon. I had the timing right for their births, all the rest would have been fine to turn out with group except for this little one who is now bigger than her brother. But her mama thinks she's an alien so its either tie them up and force them to nurse or bottle feed her which she can do as well.
I have tomatoes and peppers to plant out this weekend. It was down to 39 2 nights ago. Hope that is done for. Bought tons of flower seeds to put in pots. The couple of garden beds I did have have gone to weeds and to much to do right now. I might see if I can find some cheap, cheap annuals to put out. One bed used to be very shady until a mini tornado took out most of the tree above it.
My new normal is take 3 Advil with 1st cup of coffee to start the day. Usually don't need more. Now taking Zantac at night for GERD. Plus Femara & Metoprolol for BP. Don't even talk about the weight. Go to gyn next week for annual. Between him and MO in June I'm expecting a scolding which is well deserved.
Juneau - Love you girl. Don't you dare go away.
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Hugs to all, I do understand ((()))
Juneau - you already know what I would be saying to you
. Be good to yourself and stick around here, we love you
McCook - did you feel me with you on that run? Good for you and for taking MrsCich with you also
Tazzy - that is a wonderful thing your work group is doing, it will be so appreciated. So nice to pay it forward
Bhiri - thanks for what you said.
Liefie - I hope that today you are feeling better
I don't have much to offer but support ladies but I have lots of that0 -
Luvmygoats, I've wondered what happened to you. Pity you could not go with DH, but sometimes it is nice to just have some peace and quiet, and some quality me-time. Enjoy those cute little lambs!
Sorry to read about you other girls who have also been feeling down lately. Normally I'm an upbeat, optimistic person, but these last few days I just lost it. DH has been pep-talking, and trying to cheer me up, but this cannot be forced. Will have to claw my way back, and deal with my own issues.
Have invited people for dinner tomorrow, so will be cooking/cleaning today. Should keep me busy, and my mind occupied. Have a good day, everyone!
Hi, Websister, we've been posting at the same time. A good weekend to you!
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Do we all have spring fever? Was the winter just too long? I too am feeling depressed and worried lately and that is just not me!
OK so I am now TN...maybe the last DD AC I couldn't take will effect my final outcome? Will not taking the calcium supplement make my bone loss worse?
What's the point of me taking Anastrozole for a lousy 2% ER+????? Was it worth thinning my hair? Will I need further treatment?
WTF? Where do I go from here?
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Susan, have you gone on the TN thread for advice?
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PS, someone in Australia said we are lacking sun and heat, which is part of our problem
just now, so yes, Susan.....maybe our winter was just too long....lol0 -
Yeah Scottiee I have...seems no one there has taken any antihormonals. They seemed to be DX'd TN at the onset.
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Does this help?
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Flowers always help!
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Not to wish feeling down on anyone but it somehow helps to know I am not the only one who has been suffering of late. There have been some good moments, like Easter weekend when it was sunny and warm and we had all our kids here but it still feels like an uphill battle so much of the time. But having all of you sharing makes it easier and also that "this too shall pass."
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