2013 Survivors!!!
Comments
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Momof3greatkids,
I think you meant me and not Shari but I will check with a doctor if it doesn't clear up soon. Bad enough with the blurry vision and watering and then to be red and sore on top of it. They weren't bad today though. Thanks for all your help and support. I appreciate you taking the time to respond to me. Take care.0 -
Oh and hi beautiful ladies.. Doing ok over here .. Healing slowly physically and mentally.. Maybe better physically than mentally but it's a process... Going to doctors on Tuesday for follow up with plastic surgeon. Breast surgeon and oncologist.. Will discuss rads.. follow up and a little nore into path report...Aaaahhh anxiety..
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Sandy - I am sorry that I had the wrong name, but I did mean you. I am glad your eyes are better today.
In pockets for anyone that needs them this week.
Hugs to all!0 -
Momof3greatkids- Thank you, you will have to bring lots of snacks. Tay loves peanut butter, but for me i will take something stronger. hehe
Melissa- I think that was something we all needed to hear from a 5yr survivor. It is very hard to remember that on the outside yes we look fine, but on the inside we are all completely screwed up. I mean that with nothing but love! As much as we all say we are "good, fine, great" deep down we are really just "ok, so-so, could be better".
Shari- glad you doing good. How are you handling the medication? Did you do immediate TE's after BMX?
Scottie, Ramols, Juneau,Tazzy- I love you gals! Hope you all are doing well.
Today was family dinner day. The amazing hubby fixed beef and pork spareribs and potato salad, my mom brought over a homemade chocolate pie. I had one piece of pie but ate way too much of the other stuff. Laundry is just about done and it's almost bedtime. work tomorrow, curious to see how much work i have to do tomorrow. Hope everyone is having a great day.
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Chrisrenee - we'll see what we can do re: your pockets but wouldn't want to mix up the pockets now, would we?
Melissa - great re: daughter and coach's face
, hope she feels better quickly. Thanks for sharing re: 5 year survivor
2fried - like what your doctor said re: chemicals and how you handle the not so good times - chemical explosion
Ramols - you are amazing
Tazzy - it made me feel good to read about the clean up yesterday afternoon, my prayers go out to that man and his family
Hope that this week turns out to be a much better one - mine starts with my MUGA tomorrow morning so I will once again be 'radiant'
Take care0 -
Unowhoandwhy, thanks for the info. I took tamoxifen this morning. Was thinking of trying evening, so appreciate the warning about insomnia. I won't try that before a work day.
Shari, the sample from the core needle biopsy taken for my initial disgnosis wasPR+. I had chemo, the tumor shrank and grew. The tumor removed from mastectomy was basal-type triple negative. So they were not taking samples during chemo. Only before and after. It was scary until I had a PET/CT scan before rads. No evidence of metastasis! And that is all that matters, right?0 -
Hi warriors! We finally had a sunny, half way decent day here in Wisconsin. I took my BC psychologist's advice and took my dog for a walk this morning. It was 15 minutes instead of 5 (yay) but I've been so wiped out this weekend I felt like such a wimp afterward. (Can you say roller coaster?) it's supposed to rain the next few days so I hope my energy returns and I can get the other two walks in.
My DD (the 16 yo) got home from her field trip to NYC. Had a great time, saw Matilda on Broadway, got to see all the sights. She brought me home a pink ribbon key chain with "forward" on it. She bought it at the NBC studios, part of Hoda Kotb's line of BC awareness, Komen for the Cure stuff. She bought herself one of the little pink rubber rings like Hoda always wears. So sweet!
stride, I take my Tamoxifen at night, just because of what I'd read on these forums. My MO never said anything about what time of day to take it, but I'll ask her when I see her at the beginning of May. I love grapefruit, but haven't had it for years because it messes with too many medications. I started my Tamoxifen on the 20th of March and am still adjusting to it. Today I had some pin-prick sensations in my fingertips. Weird! Hot flashes are on the rise, but I've got my organic apple cider vinegar in the cupboard calling my name!
You're all in my thoughts and prayers. Sleep tight and may God hold you in the palm of his hand. xxxx Sheila0 -
Hey everyone, can hardly keep eyes open but wanted to send love and hugs to everyone.
Will catch up better tomorrow.0 -
Good Morning ladies
Have to love technology as I am typing this while on a plane in route to Dallas. So I meet some friends at the Mall of America yesterday for some shopping. I have known both of these GF since Jr High. one of them was a lot of help through out my chemo and has a heart of good. The other has become so self absorbed that although I will always love her it is hard to relate to her anymore. She is extremely judgemental and It drives me a little crazy. So we went shopping and of course that was hard because both of them are in really good shape and look adorable in about anything and here I am with my flabby after BC body and trying on clothes with them. Man I never used to be so insecure about these things dam it. But good thing it motivated me to step up my nutrition and work outs. I am going to fit back in my dang jean size I was bf BC!
So hope my trip to Dallas goes well and I can get some sun! I am going to run outside today and it is supposed to be pretty warm there so that will be nice.
I hope everyone is having a good start to their week:) I do feel a little better mentally today then I did on Saturday Morning. It comes in waves it seems lately must be the hormone thing0 -
OK Ladies, before I start my work day I have decided to take the time to write a proper entry here.
First off I will start by saying that I LOVE what Ramols had to say… it really is always my perspective that needs to be changed. I will try to hold on to my Assets (as we say in the rooms) and stop focusing on my liabilities.
Tazzy: I’m so saddened to hear of your friends advancement. My prayers are with you both. Amazing feeling isn’t it? To show up for someone else in a way most people can’t? That’s what it is like being in recovery. One addict helping another – and in this case; one cancer survivor to another. The strength of shared experience can somehow lessen pain.
Which brings me to all of you! So, once again I am reminded why I come here throughout my day. Here I go and post about how I feel like I’ve not nothing good to say, nothing positive to add, and a general feeling of uneasiness. I’m just struggling to find my happy…. And wouldn’t you know it… I’M NOT ALONE! Once again a conversation is started and I realized that I’m not as crazy as I might think I am. I guess I’ve just been so selfish and self-centered that I don’t even have patience for the still sick and suffering; and I will admit here that that makes me feel like a real shitty person. But I am taught in recovery that the best way to get outside of yourself and your own shit, is to help a new comer. So I’m going to try (to the best of my ability – and time allotment-) to start to show up for my compatriots here.
So I met the most AMAZING therapist (for me) this weekend. She works with cancer patients (and gets IT), works with addiction/alcoholism (and gets IT), and has MS and totally understands autoimmune illnesses like my Crohns Disease. I am hopeful she will help me make sense of the me that I am today. She told me that “cancer fucking sucks” – I fell in love. J
So, I am considering asking my MO what the ramifications would be if I went off of my tamoxifen for two months in order to lose weight. There is a chance that I will never get down to where I want to be while on this medication. But I used to (just last year before my Dx) lost 1 ½ lbs a week counting calories. I just want to get down 10 or so pounds. My ideal would be 25, but since I think asking to go off it for 6 months would certainly be a no, in my true addict spirit, I’m going to ask for something based on the hope that I can manipulate that to get the outcome I WANT – instead of what my HIGHER POWER WANTS! *sigh* (queue Paul Simon music, “still crazy after all these years… OH!!! STILL CRAZY after ALL these YEARS!”).
Karen: I would love to get together. Let me know when you are up this way. I work in Rockaway. Also, my dad lives right near you in Princeton. Has a big beautiful house with a inground/heated swimming pool that I usually try to spend my summer weekends floating on a raft in. Perhaps you’d like to join me one day? He opens the pool May 9th.
Tazzy; I too have always wanted a garden, but we rent an apartment (although we are JUST starting to consider looking for a house – that’s for another post. A bit frightened by the idea of Home Ownership). My apartment is lovely. Carpeted, central air and gas heat; washer/dryer – all the ammenties… but no garden. L BUT this year I asked my landlord if I could put a raised garden bed beneath/in front of my porch; and they said YES!!! The porch is the south side and the area will get sun all day. Now I have to figure out HOW TO garden! I know diddly squat! My BIL is great that way and gave me some ideas on what to plant. I’m going to start out small with a 4x4x12 box. Radishes, lettuce, arugula, broccoli, and herbs – tarragon, chives, basil. I currently grow seasonal flowers on my porch in window boxes and planters… so at least I have a pair of garden gloves! So please bestow some of your wisdom on me.
Mcook: You are running your leg in Idaho?? Is that right? What days of the week? Will it fall on a weekend? I’d like to come out and support you and maybe some of our sisters can too? Perhaps we can try to sort out a hotel and some type of get together around your event so we can support you. I MIGHT even be able to run the last mile with you… I’ve been working my way up, but I must say – running outside is KILLING MY SHINS!!!! HOLY SHIT! Not sure how to get past that pain. This morning I did a mile on my treadmill in 12 minutes – I started out walking on a high incline to warm up for 10 minutes and then barreled through the last quarter mile in the last 2 minutes. I was pretty proud of myself. Just FYI – I HAVE NEVER EXERCISED LIKE THIS – I HAVE NEVER RUN and up until August 2010 I was a 32 year 2 ½ pack a day smoker with a habitual smokers cough. So the FEELING of running and having my legs give out before my lungs is AMAZING! I CAN BREATH! It still amazes me, after a lifetime of coughing and hacking. I started smoking at 10, so I’m like a baby trying out her new lungs…and sister you motivate me to run harder and longer. I admire you immensely.
OK ladies, I’ve been here for almost an hour and have done nothing but write this post! (I’m in MS Word and will cut and paste into out BCO so that nobody knows… I’m so sneaky).
I love you ALL – I will TRY to keep up, but reading here takes away from my Candy Crush time… right Mrscich!? Thank you, THANK YOU for kicking my ass and sending me so much love. You are my family too and I’m not going anywhere…. xxoo
OH and Chrisrenne; sending good vibes to your DD today and in your pocket too!
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Mcook- I hope you brought an umbrella and rain boots. That's what you are going to get Tuesday and wednesday. 60% chance each day. Hope you like it here.
Juneau- thank you! I sure hope you are doing better. I take my femara at night only because it made me tired and nauseous when I took it in the mornings.0 -
Dear Juneau,
You sound so good, better than in a long time! So happy you found a new therapist who gets it. I totally agree that we have to focus OUTSIDE of ourselves on helping other people in order to heal our minds and emotions. I wonder if your MO will allow you to go off Tamoxifen to lose weight. I've been toying with the exact same idea, because I'm so losing the weight battle. Totally fell off the wagon last week, because it just felt so hopeless. Here I'm being so strict on diet, and exercising harder than ever before, and nothing is changing. There's no reward for the hard work. I'm avoiding the scale as I'm sure there's considerable damage. The shin splints are bugging me too. Some days I have it, and some days I don't. Must google to see what causes it. The running does feel good - never really ran before, but doing it now just because I can! Last April I was a chemo mess, and thought I would never be strong enough again. . . here we are now, able to run! We've come a long way! Enjoy your day!
Everybody else, wishing you well, and hoping for minimal pain and SE's. Chrisrenee, let us know what happens.
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Can you guys move over? The boob edema and croissants in Fl. causes me to take more room. Chrisrenee, we are here with you! Hey Juneau, pass the chocolates!
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Right after surgery:
On her way home:
Now the hard part the wait in the biopsy.0 -
Hi girls, not really caught up with you all, trying to read through the posts whilst at work.
Busy weekend, ache and creak like I am 103 today... but so worth it to help Daryl and his family. Yes Juneau - it feels wonderful to help someone out. As for gardening tips... ha ha ! Really all I do is make sure I have a good compost and dirt.... plant and hope for the best. When I need to I just look stuff up on the internet - I am one of those gardeners. Yet my sister and her DH, they have spreadsheets and plans for planting etc.
Juneau...glad you saw the light and realised how much you are needed here - and that goes for the others who thought they had nothing to offer. Where would we be without each other eh?
In pockets if needed, sending hugs and positive vibes to you all.
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Juneau, I'm so glad you connected with this therapist!! Sometimes it takes a while to find the right one, but once you do it makes all the difference in the world. My DH has MS. It's been a little weird for me to have cancer, yet here he is battling this disease he's had for 16 years. I finally got him to go on an antidepressant and his Dr. talked him into seeing a psychologist. What the hell-what is it with men not wanting to ask for help???
liefie, please don't let the no change from your exercise routine stop you. Maybe you just need to mix up the exercise or try something totally different. Just don't stop. I felt the same way a few years ago and stopped. I couldn't believe the difference even a small amount of exercise made compared to none at all!!
Mcook, we love the Mall of America!! However, I will not go shopping for clothes at this weight! Really hoping this f##*ing fatigue lets up soon. I feel like my life is floating by and I'm just bobbing in the waves.
Last night when I went to bed I was going to take my trazedone and instead of dumping out the pill into my hand I poured the water from my bottle into my hand. Just had to laugh! I hope this fuzzy brain will pass soon, too!
Have a great day ladies! Hope this Monday finds everyone in better spirits. (Moods, not alcohol, ha!)0 -
Swgee, happy your DH is taking an antidepressant - it will make a huge difference. Psychologist will help too. Men are strange that way . . . for them it is obviously a sign of weakness if they cannot handle things, most of them won't talk about their struggles either, and suffer in silence. Unlike us women - yayyy for that, and these boards which keep me sane. No, I won't stop exercising, and actually enjoy it. I do different things, and switch it up every week. Thanks for your concern - it is appreciated! I will just have to persevere - no other choice really, is there?
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McCook - hope you get to enjoy some sunshine down there before it rains
Chrisrenee - glad the procedure is over, hoping and praying for good results for DD
Tazzy - you be good to yourself today, you must be aching after all that yard work
Juneau - glad that you have found a good therapist
Juneau and Liefie - before you ask re: going off of Tamoxifen, you might want to ask your onc whether they could see a dual benefit of adding Metformin. There is currently a Metformin trial for early stage breast cancer and some of the ladies on another thread have been able to get their MO's to prescribe it for them. It helps regulate blood sugar and may have a benefit in preventing recurrence of breast cancer. Worth asking about as you would then be able to keep the benefits of tamoxifen but possibly lose the weight easier
SwgeeWI - you mentioned that you would not be shopping for clothes yet at this weight. I totally understand but I think that by doing that we are 'punishing' ourselves for having gained the weight, would you do that to your best friend or your child? Then when we have nothing to wear we get depressed. I would suggest not going overboard but buying several pieces that work together so that you are covered for most occasions. You will feel better about how you look and that may translate to treating yourself better.
I am back from my MUGA scan - I hate it that we become so used to these procedure that if anything is different we start to read into it - or I do anyway. She had trouble getting a good heart reading at first and had been quite chatty when I was getting the injections. Then at the end of the left side scan I heard her printing off something, she came back in and repositioned for the right side, did not talk. Then after the right side she said she needed to take a few pictures and then she would be done - never had that happen before. She said that my MO will have the results in two days and will compare with past scans. I am probably over- reading the situation but after the fatigue I have been feeling it makes me second guess whether the Herceptin is compromising my heart. I will know soon, appt with MO next Monday.
Take care everyone0 -
Here is a link to the thread where they are discussing benefits of Metformin -
http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/80/topic/764183?page=558#idx_167310 -
Websister, apprehension is now more pronounced in every test, dr appt and follow up and i hate that so much. Hopefully all went ok and just nervous jitters.
Christenee,, i could not see pics but hope DD recoup is fast and uneventful.
Does jumping from pocket to pocket use up any calories? If not better get my sneaks on and go for a long walk!0 -
Websister: I'm sure your scan is fine - and you are right, we do read into everything now; and with good reason. Experience has taught us that those "standard tests" we have can turn out to not be so standard... again I'm sure this is not the case for you. You are in the "you deserve a break" section of scan results.
Ladies... I JUST spoke to my MO. Here are the results. 1) Metfomin... no - can cause too many issues with blood sugar levels.
Tamoxifen interupption... NO. Since the rate of recurrence is the highest in the first two years she can't say that this would be a very good idea. She said she has some patients who insist in going off after two years to try to have a child, and some whose side effects are too severe to stay on it... but otherwise; it is not recommened to stop taking it at all. She went on to list all the wonderful things we are already doing. Walking and body stregthing/sculpting; also green tea (decaffinated) or green tea capsules - they will supress the appetite. Then she explained that although my period has returned, my body really is in menopause in the way it is now depositing/storing fat; as is my matabolism in regards to the rate at which is burns. She also pointed out that I woul d most likely be bigger then I am were I not doing what I am doing... oh happy HAPPY, joy JOY! <bitch (Kidding!)
>SO, since none of that is what I wanted to hear.... I went and signed up for a kick boxing class tomorrow night. It burns up to 1000 calories a class. Desperate times call for desperate measures. I also start the Livestrong program next month. But truth be told I ate 1/3 of a box of mac and cheese last night with my roasted/skinless chicken breast. I hadn't had mac and cheese in at least 6 months...! YUMMY! I HATE having to watch what I eat.
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Oh ladies I am in dallas and yes weather is not too great but fine w me because my ugly body can be hid by clothes! I feel like I am gaining more and more weight so just stop weighing myself I hopefully am gaining some muscle from running but doesn't seem like it!
So like Juneau said time for some drastic measures - going to up my workputs and none of the white stuff - yep this means no wine or vodka for me:) I am just so dam depressed about this weight stuff! Fucking Cancer and my laziness all year! Thanks for the info from your mo but you are correct yippee!
I seriously don't want to be here this week:( stuck in a meeting of co workers who will just look at me and see how bad I look! Freaking men!
Ok done with my pity party!
Have a good day0 -
Websister, praying for good Muga results! Thanks for your input re Metformin. Was just getting really excited, then Juneau came back with the verdict that staying on Tamoxifen is the best way to go. Thanks for sharing that, Juneau. Will begin drinking more green tea, and may sign up for Zumba classes, which apparently also burns a lot of calories. Do you guys also feel that Tamoxifen gives you a raging appetite that is hard to control? That's what I experience. Want to eat everything in sight - ughhh!
Mcook, I know exactly how you feel, but I'm sure other people see you way differently than you see yourself. We are our own harshest critics. Don't beat yourself up. And here I have to laugh at myself. Just a few posts higher up I was the one whining about lack of weight loss, and now I'm trying to advise you . . . LOL.
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It sounds like everyone is feeling a little bit better today. The pocket parties may have helped.
Chrisrenee - I could not see the pictures either, but an glad surgery is over and am praying for good results on the biopsy and also a quick recovery.
Websister - I am wishing you good results from your MUGA.
I actually had a good day today. Tomorrow I have my first appointment with the surgeon that will be doing my first colonoscopy eventually. Yet another test I need because of BC diagnosis. I am not worried about tomorrow, but am really not looking forward to the actual test. I know I need to have it, but at 43 years old I will have to have 2 colonoscopies before I am 50 which is the usual age to start having them. Yet another lovely gift I have gotten because of my diagnosis.
Hugs to those that need them.0 -
liefie: I could continually 'graze' all day - sure its the tamox. Really I have a constant appetite - even after I've eaten..... and its driving me nuts. Will need a crate of green tea capsules to quell this appetite.
websister: ((((hugs)))).
I have started walking at lunch time - just for 30 mintues... hope that's enough. Dunno why I cant get my arse into gear and go back to the gym. I used to do Zumba - maybe I should look it up again?
Hugs ladies.
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Websister Praying your test results are exactly as you want them!
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Websister......I'm praying also.....❤
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I'm so glad my post resonated with some of you. We all have good reasons to love ourselves - we just need to take the time to remind ourselves of them every so often...
Chrisrenee - fingers crossed for good results.
Websister - that reminds me, I think i'm well overdue for my MUGA. Will have to ask my MO when I go in on Wednesday. Maybe all the other cardio scans I had back in January after my exchange surgery stunt sufficed for a bit. Fingers crossed yours will be fine. Hope the wait passes quickly.
Juneau - yeah for new therapists who get it!
I'm forgetting many tonight. Long day after commuting into the City for work and I'm wiped. But I love pretty much being back on my Monday City days for work. Makes me feel like me again.
Love and hugs!
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Momof3...: I have Crohn's disease and have been having a colonoscopy every year since I was 38 and will for the rest of my life. So theres your perspective. Hope it helps. That procedure is easy, it's the prep that sucks.
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Thanks everyone - nice to have so many sisters
Momof3 - re: colonoscopy - I've had all too many of them since age 30, I had precancerous polyps removed at that age, my dad died of colon cancer when I was 14. I agree with Juneau - the prep is the worst part of that procedure. Hope your meeting with the surgeon goes well and that you like and respect them
Re: Metformin - From what I read on that thread a Canadian physician noticed that her patients that were on Metformin had less recurrence, there is a phase 3 clinical trial now where Metformin or placebo is being given and patients followed. Some of the ladies did not qualify for the trial but their MO's gave them Metformin anyway when they requested it, some like Juneau's didn't.
Liefie - the Metformin would not be in place of the Tamoxifen but given in addition to
It's all very interesting - I wonder what treatment for breast cancer will look like 10 years from now0
