STFU (Shut the F*** UP)
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Chevyboy...you made me tear up as my father was a drinker and made our lives miserable too. He gave my mom the minimum to run the household and the rest went to alcohol. My mom scrubbed floors and worked nights in a factory just to get enough money to go home to Germany (we lived in Scotland) to see her mother. Unlike you, I'm sorry I never told my father what a shit he was....I was a wimp and I STFU....funny thing about having BC ....I don't STFU anymore and express my feelings, good or bad to friends and family.....have lost some in doing so, but I say they were never good friends or good family anyway if they could just walk out of my life so easily....
Happy New Year everybody, and Granny, you may only be 5' tall but your heart reaches the sky...AND how unique are you with a tongue bigger than your feet.....lol0 -
Oh Scottie and whoever had problems with heir dads or parents--I feel so bad for u growing up with such stress and byoung that u can't help. I know I took mine for granted cuz we all had the same types when I was young. And as an adult they were great too--I was so blessed and I feel sad for all the kids who didn't. We never had a lot of money but we had lotsa fun and love.
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Hi Scottiee.... I know..... Isn't it funny, how when we were little, and all that stuff was going on, and we just thought it was normal? All the fighting and screaming, and whippings we used to get.... Even the dog, because he would bark & try to bite them back when they spanked us. But I still thought I had a normal family life. You just do! When that is all that you know, it's all there is.
You don't know, until you grow up, and see other families, and the way they lived.
I think that maybe THAT is why I tried so hard when I grew up, to be something different. My folks moved to California when I became engaged at 19. And from then on, all I wanted was to be married, have my own home, and my own kids. And I made it! They were all my life. I knew I would not DO what they did! So you see? We did make it better! We learned from their mistakes.
We started out with nothing! So I really have a lot to be thankful for! I guess I learned a lot of things from them.... like what NOT to do, and always tell your kids that you love them. I still do! Even when my girls were tiny, we always said we loved them.... and I still do! Even my Grand-sons...they are 25 and 27...
I just didn't want MY family to know the lonliness and sadness that my Brother and I grew up with. So we made it Scottiee.... you and me.
\Guess I don't have anyone to say STFU to...... And that's a good thing!
Happy New Year friends! xoxoxoxo
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Chevyboy....I also have a brother but he is ten years my junior...Many years ago he became Buddhist and I don't know if that has something to do with the fact that when we talk about our upbringing, he only sees the good side of our father.!!!!!! My father was a hard worker and had a great sense of humour, and when he was drunk, very generous
(With money that should have gone to my mother however) that is my father's legacy....
very sad. One of the reasons I came to Canada was to get away from him, and yes,
I have tried to be a better parent to my two boys, sometimes it has worked and sometimes I have said or done things that I truly regret. In many ways you are a product
of your upbringing and it's been a constant struggle to get away from it. My sons are 29 and 26 now (I'm 65....had them a little late) so even being an older mom has added to my struggles of trying to always do the right thing as far as my boys are concerned.
Many, MANY times I should have STFU instead of getting angry with them.
Do you really feel we have made it.....I was just getting ready to retire and enjoy my golden years when BC came into my life. .....grrrrr0 -
Happy New Year everyone.... My best friend, who had stage 0 BC last year and should know better, gave me the t-shirt right after my diagnosis, you know the one....."yes, they are fake, my real ones tried to kill me"... I was speechless. Her byopsy actually showed her bb size tumor to be pre-cancerous, she said. As soon as she drove out of the driveway, it went into the trash! I'm 60 years old/young.... Can you imagine my saying to my DH..... Yes, dear, I'm going to the mall with this t-shirt on.
Then my sister said to me at Thanksgiving, "you know, you really drink too many diet sodas and probably shouldn't." I had a glass of water in my hand. I almost threw it at her... She's an easy 100 pounds overweight and had implants 10 years ago for cosmetic reasons and told me my MX wouldn't be any different than what she went through...STFU!!! Whew, thanks for this forum...I feel better!0 -
Obxflygirl1 .... The t-shirt although tacky was given with the right reason but you really should have thrown the water in your sisters face ....
And then you should have said STFU ... Her implant surgery is like your Mx .... And what about the emotional healing too ... Some people are stupid and some people manager to turn it into them.0 -
I know several survivors who love that t-shirt and wear it proudly. But the comment about diet soda and comparing MX to augmentation, seriously??
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Yes Scottiee... you made it! When you look back, just see how far you have come! Sure we had/have cancer, but that's just one more thing we had to work through. You are still 10 years younger than I.... I think you will be even more tolerant, as time goes on....
I'm retired, and 3 years out from cancer. So I want to think that's all behind me. It's still so soon for you....But we're always here....
Obxgirl! Just tell your Sister STFU! I'll bet she thinks she can say anything she wants to you.... For some reason, she thinks she has power over you. What a brat for telling you about her ELECTIVE implants, and your MX being the same! She even makes ME mad! I'LL tell her if you want me to!
Next time she gets on her "holier than thou' trip, just hold your hand up in her face" Tell her you're "done" listening to her and just to STFU! She REALLY deserves that one!0 -
Oh Chevy----you really surprise me with that dirty mouth of yours....You my sista have been tell me for years to clean up my mouth.....im proud you join this club.....use that word and use it as often ans you want....I DO......
I think this thread was just for ME!!!!!!
I told my nephew who is a priest that the F word is no longer considered a curse....He just looked at me and sayd REALLY!!!!!.All my nieces burst out laughing.
So STFU...!!!!! feels good.
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Oh Geez, Kantalope, you're back! See, if I just abbreviate it, like everyone else here, it's okay!
I really don't like the word at all, but it's not the same if I pretend it isn't.... You said it to a PRIEST???? Shame on you little girl! I don't even say it to my DH unless of course he really deserves it.Besides I'm much too refined (
) and older to talk like that.... right? xoxoxoxo0 -
Chevy---you really crack me up.Yes I said just the F word....well damn everyone uses that word soo freely now...it doesnt mean what it used to....well maybe cause it does give you a good feeling just sayin it nice and slowly.
Abbreviation is the same thing silly...take the ball and run with it honey...its 2013....
Hello 2013.....
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Where is that bar of soap?
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I stand corrected.....I was only a week out from diagnosis when I got the shirt. I was an emotional wreck, still couldn't believe it, so many unknowns and scared out of my mind. Probably if it had been presented later, I would have felt different. I'm sure she had the best of intentions. I also feel bad that I have already broke a New Year's resolution.. To have kind thoughts always.........:)
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Apparently comparing a mx to breast augmentation is pretty common( pun intended) my fil compared my mx to a "boob job" and mil thinks a mx is like her colonoscopy where she had a polyp removed....maybe it's just me but I don't think so!
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BEST WISHES to all in 2013.....always remember it is YOUR journey....we will make our steps with caution and dignity.....all the choices are ours.....Liz
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Obx--don't feel bad about what u said or did--U were still in the stae of WTF is going on and nothing would have made u feel better. And u'r DH probably wouldn't appreciate it either. LOL Oh but what u'r sister said geeze I would never compare that with cancer--this beast is in a place of it's own.
Chevy I have to o with Granny on this one --the word F*** is a common word that I thoroughly enjoy using anytime I want--Acrually that's one of the minor ones I use. Any word that doesn't use Gods' name is 100% fine with me. But it is funny when u'r older and use it people are taken aback like U SAY THAT? Duh Yea--lots--
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Oh you guys, you're just going to egg her on! Ha, ha! I keep trying to civilize her, and you're going to un-do it....
Honestly? All of you are just a lot of fun.... It's a pleasure to be here!
Geez Merlcat! Your FIL AND your MIL and her Sister belong in the corner with a dunce-cap on. They probably actually beLIEVE that! And nothing you could say would change their minds. So you KNOW what to tell them.... or at least THINK it!
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what happened Chevy honey ....your last statement does not have WTF in it...you gotta use it or you lose it.....It is really a feel good word....I get angry if my kids or Grand kids say it on FB.lol.That is not the place for it but here honey try sayin it under your breath...then next step is easy...Try it on hubby and see what he says.hahahah
I see that shirt all the time on sistas.To me they either dont know any betta cause they are new at this and have no clue how offensive it is OR like my friends niece who is stage3 and 37 yrs old and puts every step she does on fb.She wore it there too...I would rather wear FOCKTOBER OR STOP PIMPING THE PINK...That shows we know something that you probably have no clue about.
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Way to go Granny.....I like "stop pimping the pink"
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Don't knock the F word... Haven't you seen "The King's Speech"?
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Ha! I curse like a sailor. It's terrible. Can't stop even when I try. Makes talking to the kids teachers much more interesting, especially if I'm mad. F bombs all over the place. I have to put a lot of effort into censoring myself. Lol
The one that does get me tho is the N word. My gram uses it like it's nothing. She argues with me that it was an appropriate term when she was growing up and refuses to stop saying it. Makes me cringe every time and is oh so embarrassing when we are out in public.
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Gutpy. I am sorry up your parents did not show. It is so hard when you need people and they put themselves first. I often refer to my parents as 'picture parents'. They are there for the big happy times in life like marriage, graduation, etc but often miss real life.
I just grinned because my parents wanted me to change the date of my wedding because it interfered with my sisters band camp and were late to my graduation, ha!!
We try to be impervious but it is amazing that they can still hurt our heart. I am sorry they could not see how much you needed them. I hope you have found in friends the family you need that also need you, I call them my real family.
(((Hugs)))0 -
I kind of feel entitled to use the F word now that BC has barged its way uninvited into my life. Plus, If I freak out I can just blame it on the BC. Not sure how long I can use that for though.
STFU is a blast but you should meet her cousin GFY. It's my stand by phrase during an argument whenever I know I'm wrong but refuse to admit it to my husband.
I'll leave it up to the masses to see who gets it.
2013 here I come!!
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Shaneoak, I love it ...
How about ... dILLIGAF. .... Does it look like a give a f***0 -
GFY is my all time favorite....use it on a daily basis...yeah some people call me potty mouth.ask me if i give a F......
In my moms house shit was a curse word.The first time i said it my mom said WHERE DID YOU HEAR THAT WORD...If she could hear me now!!!!!!
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It's 4 o'oclock in the morning, and you gals made me laugh out loud! Ha, haaaaa! GFY??? In bold print??? That IS serious!
Joanne, I got that one too! The other night I was sooooo mad, and disappointed with DH, and I finally just yelled "Oh FY!" That's all I could muster. He got the point. And I went in the bedroom and sulked.My folks really didn't talk like this, but they DID let loose with a lot of other words, that would NOT go well in church.... I hated that. Also Stormy, I'm with you.... Whenever I hear that word, I just cringe. It's so low-class and shows no respect. I don't care WHO uses it, it's still offensive.
I remember when I was in High School, and you used to hear all those slang terms for Italians, and Mexicans, and the kids just thought they were ready to start something.... I ran away when I saw a fight starting... I SHOULD have walked right up between them & grabbed them by their hair and said STFU!!! Ha, ha!
Kantalope, who do you SAY that to? If I have to come in your room, and shut that door, you'll be sorry!
Did you guys used to sneak in your bathroom and smoke? God, I remember one time that I tried it, I started coughing and choking, and thought I would die! I had the bathroom window open, and tried to fan the smoke out with a towel, but I'm SURE my folks knew I did that! And one time when my Brother and I ditched, we were home, smoking with our friends, and we saw my Dad drive up!!! Holy S! We all flew in to closets, and under the bed, and my Dad came in, and was muttering.... "What the hell is going on??" We did not move! I have never been so scared in my life. Except when the radiologist said.... "Well it looks like cancer, but we'll just do a lumpectomy and radiation and it should take care of it." WTF??? NOooooooo!!!! All I remember was being afraid to tell my DH.....I knew he would feel worse than I did....for me.
So hello 3 years out! This New Year is going to be great!
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Chevyboy....I hear what you are saying about the F word.....I never heard this word being used in all my years growing up at home. In Glasgow, Scotland where I grew up, only
people with "no class" used it. Didn't matter if you were rich or poor(we were poor) it simply meant "no class". I didn't use it myself until about 5 yrs ago (I'm 65) but I'm with Granny on this one, in that it is used so much today with different connotation. I can't believe how much I use it myself now since BC.....I'm sure my parents are rolling in their graves at their daughter......lol.....BTW my brother is 55yrs of age and I have never heard him use it.
Since BC, my favourite expression now is WTFC.....(who the F****cares). When someone is complaining to me about something trivial, I think to myself WTFC .....0 -
I knoww! My "little" brother who is 74 has never said that word in front of me either, Ha! But he does swear when he is trying to make his point.
It IS different now.... If I took after Princess Granny, I would scare my whole family out of their boots, Ha! We have to take care of her.... she needs pampering.... gotta keep her in line.
She is like a little waif...... needs special attention.I really like that.... WTFC!!! That one is great.
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I just love "our Granny" she has so much attitude and spunk.....when I grow up, I want to be just like her....lol.....I hope I can go to NY someday when they are having a get together, just for the privilege of meeting her. A woman with heart and soul.....not to mention her "potty mouth".
BTW....she is asking all the sisters to pray for her son as his big op is coming up.....for all her bravado, she is so worried about her son and is trying to keep busy until the day.0 -
This has been funny to read.----When I grew up there was no swearing in the house and I never heard my Mom swear, it was like crazy the worse she ever said was darn and then she's say look what u made me say--and I'd laugh right at her. She was funny. So I just picked it up from everyone else that was normal and used it all my life as a release from anxiety. So it's good for u'r health.--Oh yet we're all here. hahaha So maybe not.
Wow I' so mixed up with the days here or there whereever I am--By next week it will all be the same again. My sister is gone for 3 days and I already miss her--we talk everyday and then some. She has Stae IV still working full time and is 73 rs old, but damn her she looks like she's in her early 50's--She's my rock--That's why I miss her so. Oh well.
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