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STFU (Shut the F*** UP)

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Comments

  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 9,646
    edited June 2016

    Newsflash!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!........I know women who have BC and won't tell a soul............my MIL for one.....even when her best friend got it..............I said "well she has you as a good example you have done great".................her answer......"oh, I would never tell anyone.....nobody knows I have it but my family".....................I thought "selfish bitch", and don't send me a post saying 'I'm mean"....................imagine if we all felt that way.........this website would not exist..................

    She passed away years ago..........not from BC...

  • Lucy55
    Lucy55 Member Posts: 2,703
    edited June 2016

    Ducky.. I agree.. Very selfish.. Why wouldn't someone want to pass on some good news to someone else.. Especially a friend after she was just diagnosed !!!!



  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 9,646
    edited June 2016
    Because my MIL was a self centered bitch.......LOL............and lived to be 96, while her son died from pancreatic cancer at 57.......and told me I don't pray hard enough, had no faith, and he was not going to die.................after he lost 100 lbs...stopped eating, and finally passed away..........but he had 2 good years after his Whipple surgery, and I was grateful for that.
    Oh and his father lived to be 1031/2........didn't like him either......enough said right.........
    It takes all kind.............no one ever turns their back on family............hugs ladies
  • Lucy55
    Lucy55 Member Posts: 2,703
    edited June 2016

    Teka.. Ain't that the truth. 😞

  • Lucy55
    Lucy55 Member Posts: 2,703
    edited June 2016

    Ducky.. Your MIL sounds like she was old witch 😠

  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 9,646
    edited June 2016

    LOL........she was........

  • m0mmyof3
    m0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,831
    edited June 2016

    lol


  • gabbykay
    gabbykay Member Posts: 3
    edited July 2016

    You hit it right on the head!  STFU!!  Everyone keeps saying "Be thankful cause it was caught early"!  Who said I wasn't thankful for that part of it but I'm not thankful it was caught at all or I should say had to be caught!  The RO told me last week as we were scheduling for my Savi Radiation, "It's really not cancer at all, it's just treated like cancer.".  WTF!!!  Seriously!! You are giving me radiation when it's not cancer??  Yes, it is cancer!  He said that when it was the first dx DCIS stage 0 but now it's been increased a bit because it broke out and now is stage 1.  It went from DCIS stage 0 to IDC DCIS Stage 1, Nottingham 7, ER+ 70%, PR+85% and the worst part HER2 + 3.   So where the RO (smart guy) says it's not cancer, it has become invasive and aggressive???  Was setting up for my 5 day Savi radiation and now I am waiting for another surgery to remove any residual margins, check my lymph nodes with the blue dye by doing a sentinel node biopsy the same day as the lumpectomy.  My surgeon said it will be an all day adventure. Had my lumpectomy on 7/12 and am having the next surgery on 8/2/2016.  Then will find out if I can do the targeted radiation or 6 week full breast radiation or chemo with radiation.  Just wish it wasn't a waiting game!!  So when someone says be thankful or it's not bad, you only have ........ I would love to scream  STFU!  I do realize that they mean well but sometimes people just do not realize the more you say, the deeper the hole is dug!

  • gabbykay
    gabbykay Member Posts: 3
    edited July 2016

    Thanks Teka!  My daughter and my 2 grandchildren (2 & 7) came to visit for a couple of days to help get my mind off of my dx.  I am still anxious for the lymph node biopsy.  But I must say the kids keep you so busy and so happy that it is hard to think about 'this' all of the time.  Except when my baby granddaughter says "owie? Owie there?  See?"  cause she likes to look at it.  She & my daughter came to my biopsy dx and so we told her 'Gaggy' had an Owie and to be careful.  She liked looking at the bandaid and I think she has been helpful to my spirits with her intent examination (my personal 2 yr old Dr).  LOL        My daughter is so anxious about it and is doing research and is being adamant about no sugars or alcohol, lots of exercise etc.   My hubby and I like to have a martini 2 or 3 times a week and I am a nut for sugar so ALL of this is difficult........WTF!!!  So when I hear No Sugar is when I want to say Ah, just STFU!!  But I do know that she loves me unconditionally and is only trying to find the best thing for her Mom!!   But I love the analogy of one step, one breath, one moment at a time............it all takes time!    Have a fantastic week!!

  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 9,646
    edited July 2016

    Hi Gabby..........yes they do worry.........and I too sometimes want to say STFU when my one daughter harps about me drinking water......the other saying....You need to move around more.......and the other 4 (6 in total) with their opinions................LOL......

    but your right one step, one breath, one moment at a time...............hugs

  • Lucy55
    Lucy55 Member Posts: 2,703
    edited July 2016

    Hi Gabby.. Sounds like you have a very caring family.. Just like our Ducky's..😃

  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 9,646
    edited July 2016

    Was at the shore this weekend with my son and his family.....dinner was served.....my daughter-in-law said "Duck, what do you want to drink"..........my son said "she'll have water, she doesn't drink enough".....I said "good Lord, you just became your sister"............

  • m0mmyof3
    m0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,831
    edited July 2016

    Holy Cow!


  • Lucy55
    Lucy55 Member Posts: 2,703
    edited July 2016

    Ducky.. BAHAHA :-)

  • gabbykay
    gabbykay Member Posts: 3
    edited July 2016

    Thank you and I do!!  I am so fortunate to have the support from my family and I am so thankful!!!  My daughter has been so helpful with finding information and the best habits to start building/following.  So I WILL cut back on my sugar/sweet tea and instead of having a martini once or twice a week, I will be having a glass of red wine.  I have been told by many and read several articles about red wine being good for you. So a glass of red wine will be helpful in many ways!  I drink water all of the time so I am hydrated.   Ducky, it sounds like you have a very loving and caring family, also!!    I have no idea what I'd be going through at this time in my life without my loving and supportive family!

    Have a GREAT weekend!!

    Thanks for the warm welcome to the group!


  • Lucy55
    Lucy55 Member Posts: 2,703
    edited July 2016

    Gabby.. Yes a medicinal wine ( or two) does help.!!! :-)

  • ShaneOak
    ShaneOak Member Posts: 84
    edited September 2016

    Some days I find it ironic that my STFU post ended up in the humor section. Nothing about this has been very humorous. I always admire people that can turn to humor because I understand its value.

    Not feeling very humorous today gals. My STFU-ness is running high and I need to blow off some steam.

    I used to be a fun, outgoing person before this BC deal. I'm a Gemini for God's sake!! Now I feel like I just wait for the other shoe to drop so to speak. I feel like I know I couldn't have gotten off this easy. I hate being in groups of people, yet hate that I feel like I have no friends to lean on. I feel defeated in life. I could stay in bed all day and cry. Except I have a job and 3 fantastic kids to raise. And I can't really cry. It's like my crying mechanism is frozen or something. Then maybe 1 day every 3-4 months I cry so hard out of the blue I scare myself. I have to cry in the closet so my kids don't get scared.

    I find myself running through terrible scenarios in my mind and how I would handle them. How would I tell my kids my cancer is back, how would I take off work to have chemo treatment. Wtf is that about?

    I feel like my brain hasn't worked through all of this. How do I do that??

    I know many have had a harder journey than I have so I also feel guilty about posting this. Sorry, I mean no disrespect to anyone else. Just needed to vent.

  • gmafoley
    gmafoley Member Posts: 5,978
    edited September 2016

    ShaneOak this is a perfectly good place to vent. We all have those moment. Sending you hugs and know We will make it... We can get through this.... Crazy - I have cried in the closet too.

  • Lucy55
    Lucy55 Member Posts: 2,703
    edited September 2016

    ShaneOak ..sending Hugs ..I think we can all relate to how your feeling ..

  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 9,646
    edited September 2016

    Shane....I'm right there with you..........only I live alone and can sit in the recliner and cry as much as I want......I wish I could take the time to list all the reasons why I cry or want to cry........I hate this life, and what this cancer has done to me, and it.......I am tired of cancer, arthritis, bad knees, not being able to keep up........so your invites are less and less, even from your family............

    Your not alone, and yes this is the place to vent.......so happy to see you, and can only say......get out of the basement, lock the door and do not go back down..........who the hell am I to. be giving advice........just keep your chin up sweetie........prayers for you.........and anyone else who needs them

  • ShaneOak
    ShaneOak Member Posts: 84
    edited September 2016

    Thank you ladies for the validation and kind words. It really does make a difference.

  • keepthefaith611
    keepthefaith611 Member Posts: 56
    edited October 2016

    ShaneOak, I think your original thread is the bomb. It's open, honest, how most of us feel and tells it like it is.

    I am sending you a STFU for the next person that irks you (me included) and I will be sure to tell someone to STFU today in your honor.

    Here's hooping you day improves. Any woman raising 3 kids and crying in a closet to keep them protected is my kind of woman. But, I give you an internet shoulder to put that precious head on and I promise, I won't say a word, just rub your shoulder. I don't cry either - it's been frozen for some time now.

    Warm wishes,

    Marie


  • keepthefaith611
    keepthefaith611 Member Posts: 56
    edited October 2016

    PS: My motto has always been "until you walk a mile in my shoes". It's not about whose journey is harder, etc., we all have our horror stories. It's about how we treat one another and the manner in which you treat your children in COMMENDABLE. How unselfish of you. BUT, you also need to take care of you too. If I had your number, I wud call you and just let you vent away - I am sure you have ONE friend that can help you and just listen? Call that friend.

  • logang
    logang Member Posts: 144
    edited October 2016

    I just stumbled upon this thread and it looks like I'll fit right in! When I first found a lump in December, I knew it was going to be breast cancer. When I was diagnosed, the anger set in pretty quick. I told my teenage sons I was going to chop the f***ers off and be done...haha. One down, one to go!

  • Lucy55
    Lucy55 Member Posts: 2,703
    edited October 2016

    Logang ..HaHa ..that's how I felt ..but the doctor would only let me chop one off 🙁

  • logang
    logang Member Posts: 144
    edited October 2016

    Lucy55 I wanted the BMX, but my surgeon wouldn't do both, just the cancerous one. I think he does it in the best interest of the patient. Some probably regret it if they make that decision when emotions are running high. I say farewell to my uniboober status on 11/3.

  • Lucy55
    Lucy55 Member Posts: 2,703
    edited October 2016

    Logang ...I may approach my doctor about it again ..I'm having a hysterectomy on the 17 th of this month ..So I guess I better get this surgery over and done with first ..The waiting is driving me insane ..I am getting more nervous by the day. 😞

  • logang
    logang Member Posts: 144
    edited October 2016

    Lucy55, I am contemplating the oophorectomy. I am 90% er+ and am currently doing zoladex injections for ovarian supression and taking aromasin.

  • logang
    logang Member Posts: 144
    edited October 2016

    Thank you Teka!

  • m0mmyof3
    m0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,831
    edited October 2016

    Wanted to smack my hubby this morning. What did he do that got me so annoyed? Glancing at the calendar he turned to me while I was making the morning coffee and said: "Do you realize that your birthday is a month from today?" Didn't give into my urge to whack him one, so I just turned to him and glared my best STFU look as I said: "Don't rush me getting older! That's just like me rushing your getting balder!"

    I Heartmy hubby but sometimes he can be a real pain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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