Maybe a dumb flat question?
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DP, I don't have any words of wisdom - just wanted to say I'm so, so sorry you're having to go through this. My heart goes out to you. Damn that triple negative!
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I'm in the bag for tomorrow. Site down for Maint. We all be waiting to hear the news.
I understand what you mean. Maybe a friend could go or ask for a copy of the report?
We've had the first line of treatment. There's more stuff to try. I think it's easier to be a warrior in the middle of battle than waiting on the sidelines. Don't worry that you are in denial or acceptance. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. I'm sure you'll have ups and downs, maybe all in the same day! We are here if you need us.
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when I was dreading the biopsy, I told myself at least this test will give me a definitive answer. Apparently it is never that easy for me. The final report can not confirm or deny that it is lung mets. So instead of walking away with a treatment plan today, I get more waiting... Need a PET which will take a week or two and have to see a thoracic surgeon which will take who knows how long. Meanwhile I feel like a ticking time bomb again. Sigh.
In other news, this just in... You didn't hear it from me but if you check out spam.com on march 13th, you may see a familiar face. Ha!
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Way to go! You should be proud. We are!
My PT said she has a client that is mets and been on herceptin every three weeks. She's six years out and still going strong. Keep the faith!
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Love the spam photo! We are ALL proud of you!!! And those sandwiches are making me hungry!
So much love and light being sent your way. Keeping you in my prayers and know we are all in your pockets.
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So I feel like a big heel today. I've been working pretty much round the clock since Friday and was completely beat down and worn out by yesterday. They called me around 4pm to schedule my PET and he asked when I wanted to come. So I said ASAP. At first he said Tuesday then starting pushing for Wednesday. But I was insistent it be ASAP. So we scheduled for 11am today. He told me no eating for 6 hrs prior. Which was fine. At his point I got distracted because about 20 people came in needing me to sign them out for the day and I heard him say ok well no carbs or caffeine, ok? I said ok and just got him off the phone. It did seem odd though because if I'm not eating for 6 hours how could I have carbs? So last night when I was done working at 1am, I googled the instructions. OOPS! I had no idea it was so wacky. No activity the day before? I feel like I've run a marathon minus the endorphins. Lol. No caffeine, which is what got me through the day yesterday. No carbs or sugar: French fries and sweet tea for dinner. Curious if the machine woul just blow up at the state I'm in. Anyway. I called to reschedule it for tomorrow. They are mad because the contrast is wasted. So she is lecturing me on what the instructions are. Asked me if I had a pen. Really lady? I'm the one who looked up all te info because your office didn't give it to me to start with. Nonetheless I feel like a big dummy for potentially screwing he test up and now causing further delays. Oh well. I guess at least I get to rest today.
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You shouldn't feel bad. I had no idea it required all that either. Not even sure if I've had one but all I've been told is no eating or drinking before. Enjoy your day off. You need less stress not more!
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In the bag. Don't let them get to you. Smile like the Southern lady you are at the receptionist. Ask the techs all your questions.
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Wow, DP! I had no idea there were such detailed rules to follow. I've never had one before. In the bag for you.
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had my scan this afternoon then had to rush home to cook and do an interview with a local news station. I am the talk of Dallas today. Lol. I've been on all the news channels and in the paper. I go to the thoracic surgeon on Monday and get my results also. I hope I don't have paparazzi following me to the dr, HA!
It's all official now. https://m.facebook.com/profile.php?id=190425724316035
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You are a star!!! Congrats and enjoy it. Thinking of you and hoping for good reports! I could hardly wait to get home tonight Nd see if you had any news on the scan, was hoping you would know right away. Take care! Hugs
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Congratulations DP! What a great story! I am so happy for you!
I wish you all the best and will have everything crossed for good results of your tests.
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Congratulations DP! What a great story! I just googled it from Australia and got the video on the News. I am so happy for you!
I wish you all the best and will have everything crossed for good results of your tests.M x
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Awesome DP!! How exciting for you! Hoping for good results on your tests.
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not such a good day today. More fatigued than normal, weird pains all over the place at random. Stayed home when I intended to go work. Worked on some work stuff that was pressing, did some spam interviews on the phone, but really a whole lot of nothing. Wondering if these pains are the cancer traveling around attacking everything. But then remember my recent scans covered most of those areas and were clear, then panic wondering if it is moving that quickly. Then panic because of the extra fatigue today. I suppose that could be depression. I feel my life is at such a stand still. Then thinking about death and how long I have or how quickly things could change and what the end will be like. I know I guess I shouldn't be, but it's hard not to. Then I perused the stage IV forum and that certainly didn't help. As often is the case, I don't know what my point is, just random.
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DP...Sorry to hear you are having a down swing. I'm new on this journey and this site, but just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you and sending you a gentle, virtual hug! (((((Hug))))).
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DP, I am so sorry you are so down right now. I can certainly understand all the thoughts that are swirling around in your head. I find it unconscionable that we are made to wait so long for results. We imagine the worst possible outcomes and it can't help but bring us down. I hate this disease for what it does to us mentally as well as physically!! I've looked around in the Stage IV forums some too and they really broke my heart. I follow one thread of a woman that went into hospice, came out, and is now back.
I am holding good thoughts for you that your results are good and you can get on with your treatment and on to a long (and more contest winning) life.
Hey, when are you going to Hawaii?? Didn't I read that was part of your prize? Now there is something to look forward to!!
(((many hugs)))
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the fatigue is probably all the emotions from this week and lack of caffeine prior to your test.
As far as the end, I'm looking forward to heaven to see family members and my dog. Look at this as an opportunity to make a clean start. Only do what makes you happy. If I check out early, I want no regrets. Planning on dancing at my children's weddings. Also anti depressant, walking, talking with a therapist and these ladies help with the rough spots.
Hang in there!
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thank you all for the support and as always dr Zills with the good advice. Today was better. I slept clear through to 9:45 like a rock, which was odd. I did her into work, albeit long after noon, and it was a nice day. The strange pains are still present, trying to ignore them. I think I am less afraid of death than I am of being "sick". The mental images of last days, possibly very drawn out last days and thinking of those around me and how they will deal.... Especially after reading others stories, gramma you hit the nail on the head, it breaks my heart reading those stories. And terrifies me that it could/will be me, whenever that may be. Once I get the plans from the docs, hopefully Monday, I will draw myself a picture of why I want my life to look like now. I want to spend my time, however long it is, and hopefully a good long time, doing things that make me happy. Problem is, I have never lived my life to make myself happy, so it is a very foreign thought. I think I may have shared some time ago that one day my bs asked me what I enjoy doing, and I honestly could not answer her. I said work. Often since then I have looked for that answer for myself, and I still have not found it.
Hawaii trip is may 1st. I am hopeful that I will be able to travel then, dependent on what the new treatment plan is. I am really looking forward to it, so I am keeping everything crossed that it is in the stars.
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thank you all for the support and as always dr Zills with the good advice. Today was better. I slept clear through to 9:45 like a rock, which was odd. I did her into work, albeit long after noon, and it was a nice day. The strange pains are still present, trying to ignore them. I think I am less afraid of death than I am of being "sick". The mental images of last days, possibly very drawn out last days and thinking of those around me and how they will deal.... Especially after reading others stories, gramma you hit the nail on the head, it breaks my heart reading those stories. And terrifies me that it could/will be me, whenever that may be. Once I get the plans from the docs, hopefully Monday, I will draw myself a picture of why I want my life to look like now. I want to spend my time, however long it is, and hopefully a good long time, doing things that make me happy. Problem is, I have never lived my life to make myself happy, so it is a very foreign thought. I think I may have shared some time ago that one day my bs asked me what I enjoy doing, and I honestly could not answer her. I said work. Often since then I have looked for that answer for myself, and I still have not found it.
Hawaii trip is may 1st. I am hopeful that I will be able to travel then, dependent on what the new treatment plan is. I am really looking forward to it, so I am keeping everything crossed that it is in the stars.
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DP of all the $hit we go through from beginning to end of this bc journey I don't think any of us have focused on ourself, we are the mothers, daughters, sisters, the nurtures and put ourselves behind everyone else. I am not in your situation, but who can say I won't be at some point. Yet I still find myself pushing my "stuff" into the background and embracing/caring about all the other things in my family's life. Somehow, someway, we have to grab this experience by the tail and make it into something that can be positive in some way for us.
It is ironic, when I got my diabetes dx in 2012, my first thought was, " So this is how I will die". Got that under control and the bc dx came along. I thought, "Hell no, I will fight this with every thing I have!
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your post just made me think of something gramma. I come here for myself. Maybe we all do, just for us. But I suppose even in that is the nurturing side for some, who stick around just to provide comfort to others. But it's a nice thought anyway
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DP pulling for you. I'll try to write more later. Head throbbing.
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I think the end is harder on our families. My granny just passed and she was on morphine so was comfortable but not responsive. However the hospice nurses said we needed to leave so she would go. My sisters pretended to leave and she went very peacefully. A nurturer to the very end!
I've seen women post on here and they're gone in a month. I'm surprised by their strength and willingness to continue giving advice.
I too don't have an answer for what I want to do with my life. Unlimited funds would be nice! Tell your docs about your trip. Have them work around it. Quality of life!
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saw the thoracic surgeon and onco NP today for my pet results. Showing nothing other than the lung nodules. Should have surgery in next 2 weeks. So it's good bad news anyway. I thought I would finally be relieved to have a full body scan, that's what the MO said it would be. Was relieved with results until I read that it was from skull to mid thigh. My left calf has been troubling me for a long time and I thought this would give me an answer but alas, still no. But still happy for today.
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REPOST FROM INSOMNIA THREAD
HI FOLKS DOING THIS FOR BLUEBIRD IT WILL REALLY HELP HER. SASSYBLUEBIRD.........IT LOOKS LIKE YOUR SIGHT IS GOOD.....WHEN YOU SAY IT IS AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO WEAR GLASSES TO SEE... WE WILL GO BACK TO NORMAL
IF YOU HAVE TO WEAR GLASSES TO READ ......YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE THE GLASS ARMS ANYWHERE NEAR YOUR INCISION........ CAN BE CAUSE FOR INFECTION
LARGE PRINT WILL HELP YOU BE ABLE TO READ WITHOUT GLASSES.
MAY TAKE A FEW DAYS FOR EYES TO FOCUS RIGHT
ZIGGY AIN'T WHISTLING DIXIE......YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN MY TYPING AFTER BRAIN SX IN 2012......TOTALLY NEEDED THIS.......
SPELLING.......OMG.........NOT EVEN CLOSE.........BUT EVERYONE HAD A GOOD TIME TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT I WAS TYPING
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REPOST FROM INSOMNIA THREAD
HI FOLKS DOING THIS FOR BLUEBIRD IT WILL REALLY HELP HER. SASSYBLUEBIRD.........IT LOOKS LIKE YOUR SIGHT IS GOOD.....WHEN YOU SAY IT IS AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO WEAR GLASSES TO SEE... WE WILL GO BACK TO NORMAL
IF YOU HAVE TO WEAR GLASSES TO READ ......YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE THE GLASS ARMS ANYWHERE NEAR YOUR INCISION........ CAN BE CAUSE FOR INFECTION
LARGE PRINT WILL HELP YOU BE ABLE TO READ WITHOUT GLASSES.
MAY TAKE A FEW DAYS FOR EYES TO FOCUS RIGHT
ZIGGY AIN'T WHISTLING DIXIE......YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN MY TYPING AFTER BRAIN SX IN 2012......TOTALLY NEEDED THIS.......
SPELLING.......OMG.........NOT EVEN CLOSE.........BUT EVERYONE HAD A GOOD TIME TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT I WAS TYPING
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surgery will be Tuesday. Preop tomorrow. Have to stay in ICU for one night then hospital for 3 days and no driving or work for two weeks. Sounding scarier now than he made it out to be. But I will follow the rules this time because he is already iffy on letting me fly so soon.
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All the best for tomorrow and I hope you can have a rest on the weekend, and I'll be thinking of you on Tuesday. Take it easy, so you can be ready for that great trip! Hugs M x
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In the bag for preop
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