Maybe a dumb flat question?
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I know I am frustrated.
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Haha, Z, the world of merchandising!
I'm sticking with the low key approach. I think he said it all when he said he'd log on, when he was ready and check in with us. I think an email, further down the track, if we haven't heard, asking how he is doing, would be acceptable.
I can't believe someone would steal from a cemetery. I know at the lawn cemeteries here, lots of people put all kinds of stuff on graves at holiday and birthdays etc, but they are well aware that during the weekly maintenance, they will be removed.
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Just sitting here thinking. Earlier today I went and read some of DP's posts before her surgery. In one of them she mentioned that she was worried because there had been something on a CT scan in her lung. Apparently it went down with the chemo. She said the doctors weren't concerned. So.. it just dawned on me tonight that they f*ing knew about her lung nodule at the beginning of this! Holy shit. If only they had looked into that instead of letting it go for what? a whole year? Of course, I might be wrong. Maybe they were watching it, but those doctors were so horrible..makes me think that they didn't.
I'm sorry, I don't mean to stir things up, but that just hit me as I was sitting here.
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PRB- I too have a lung nodule, which many people have, but don't know because they aren't having CT's or PET scans. My dicktors are not worried about it because it has never changed. It could be from pneumonia, scarring, or whatever. I also have a nodule on my thyroid. Lord knows what that is from, but again it has never changed so it is ignored. Should one of those get bigger or give me symptoms, the shit will hit the fan. Until then, they ignore it
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I reply to myself. With all that being said, I started having heart palpitations again yesterday afternoon and my chest feels heavy. I told DH who said I am stressing or having an attack of anxiety and continued to play on his computer in his room. I love how concerned he is about me! DD just asked me "what's your problem?" As I am lying in bed watching TV with HER dog since it is f-ing freezing! Got to love my family...no one else will! Lol S
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S, Don't hesitate to call the doc if it keeps up. My Mom had flu and went to throw up in the middle of the night. Returning to bed she was faint and fell. Since she had known heart issues, Dad was worried sick about that. She kept saying her ankle hurt and he didn't pay any attention. Finally, the next morning, she told him if he didn't take her to the doctor she would call an ambulance. Sure enough, broken. DHs can't be trusted to have appropriate concern. That said, of course you're under stress. We're all feeling sad and helpless. (((((Group hug))))).
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S, if you are still having that, I think you should call your Dr.!! It's true about men, but give them the sniffles and the world will come to an end
It is so cold out and the wind is just whipping... this is when I worry about losing power. It's really feeling like winter will never end.
PRB, I've been reading the earlier posts as I wasn't really active on it at the time... only up to Page 25, which is August.. I can't believe there is another 150 plus pages in 6 months!
Just finished dinner and I'm already hungry again.. this is what happens when I get over emotional.. I just want to eat and sleep! I have a jar of Nutella that I've been avoiding.. may have to break that puppy open.
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L: I told you we were related. I want to eat when I'm emotional too. Debated on ordering pizza earlier,, but settled on a can of chicken soup. It will be easier on the stomach this late at night.0 -
oooo pizza... haven't had pizza in awhile...maybe a treat for tomorrow. The nutella is still safe.. I've been good so far.
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PRB, how far back are you talking about the lung nodule? Wasn't DP's last surgery, when she had half her lung removed? That wasn't that long ago. There were lots of strange things, she also talked about how the Dicktors were referencing the amount of liver involvement, yet no one had actually talked to her, about that.
Sc, please see the doctor if the palpitations are still there. I have a lung nodule too. I had to have ct scans and xrays to check it for a few years, but it hasn't done anything either. I believe they are extremely common.
Hot, Hot, Hot, here today. Music Festival here this weekend so the town is full of vans and boats and I just had to pay $5.00 for an Avocado! I am going to sit in the spa and read a book!
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Hey M. I was reading the August 2013 surgery thread.. so this was before her mx. I believe she said there had been something in her lung that showed up on the CT... and after chemo it was smaller. She said she was worried, but the doctors weren't.
$5 for an avocado? That's nuts!! Hope it's a good one. I seem to have a hard time knowing when they are ripe. I refuse to eat any that has the slightest amount of brown in them. I'm sure they're fine, but I see brown and I think 'rotten'.
Ideism - Seems like winter is never going to end. I am looking forward to the time change in a couple of weeks. Even if it's freezing out, when it's light til 7:00 you know spring is near! Did you see that Niagara Falls is partially frozen? That would be awesome to see. Hang in there.. it has to end!
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Do y'all think someone should tell the folks on the Aug 2013 Surgery thread about DP? I would feel awkward butting in. Anyone from this group part of that one? I think they'd want to know.
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Jennie, there are several threads about our DP in active topics. People will know, don't worry.
S, please just go to the dicktor and have it checked, for our peace of mind. Birdie is right, as she usually is -- DHs (and DLLPs) do not want to acknowledge anything is wrong with us because they do not want the dinner and housekeeping schedule interrupted. There were several instances like that last year for me. In fact, for days before I went to ER for the infection, one of my drain sites hurt so much I cried as I stripped it, in my room, quietly, so as not to worry the kids. DLLP was in the room for that at one point, and she just looked at me and said, Stop it! I knew something wasn't right, but she didn't want to acknowledge it.
S, you do a lot around the house -- look at how beautiful your house is, and look at your beautiful well-kept dog children. People don't want that interrupted sometimes. But you must interrupt it long enough to get checked out. Call and make an 'urgent appt' with your PCP dicktor. Fucking dicktors. Mother F.
I have the idea the dicktors are, literally, just picking up their paychecks while saying mild and moderate things for which they feel they probably cannot be sued. I am just sick of it.
On another subject, Idesim, now is the time to break open that jar of Nutella! If not now, when? I have the opposite reaction when stressed.
It was twenty degrees here when I woke up! XXX
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S, please go to the doctor. Heart palpitations may be anxiety (I have anxiety disorder and get them sometimes) but you are the only you there is and your family needs you, we need you. Take care of you. If you need someone to come hold your hand, I am only one state and a car ride away.
Lisa0 -
Lisa, you are so sweet to offer to go with S to the dicktor!I have appt with Rheumy today. Hand numbness is really bad,, now having burning sensation along the nerve too. Wakes me up at night. Very bad in the morning, then seems to ease off for some reason. Need MRI stat,, and figure out what to do. I think I jinxed myself. I made New Years Resolution of NO surgery this year,,,, I may have f**ked up. "Man plans and God laughs" Old Yiddish proverb.
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-18 here and I walked the dog in my robe and snow boots. Hot in the mornings but cold in the afternoons.
Sometimes I eat and other times I don't.
$5 for an avocado is outrageous! But I completely understand. Craving one now. There are two kinds. The small dark ones turn black as they ripen. Depends on how soft they feel. I prefer those. Can't remember their name. The big green ones are ok but I don't think they have the flavor.
Must add to grocery list. BG requesting pink cheese. She is obsessed with both. Will see if strawberry cream cheese appeases her.
Put a boiled egg in beet juice. Pink! She said she didn't like it. But she loves boiled eggs.
Waiting for boy's allergy shot. Winter storm warning for tonight. Guess won't be going to my sisters. Everything cancelled around here.
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Oh Glennie, that sounds painful, please schedule the MRI right away
My boss says that all the time.. I love that saying.. I love a lot of the yiddish sayings and words... he calls me a mensch, among other things.So, I'm standing out waiting for the train today... and these two girls start walking over by me and one of them looked just like DP. If it wasn't -19F out and I wasn't frozen to the bone, I would have dug in my purse and found my phone for a pic. They were speaking another language softly, I couldn't quite make out what it was, I was thinking gaelic?? It sounded Irish, but I thought most Irish folks speak English.. I don't know. Her coloring was different, she had light orange(ish) shoulder length hair with lots of blonde streaks through it, but her lips were bright pink and shaped like DP's.. Honestly girls, I am not somebody to be fanciful, she really resembled DP. The eyes weren't as striking though
They say everyone has a double, or it could very much be that I've thought about her so much that I saw her in the 15 seconds I saw this woman.. who knows.. wish I had gotten a pic to show you.Heh.. finally made it to work on time for the first time in 3 weeks and here I am bs'ing on a chat site
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Z: does BG want to eat only pink food? that's not easy to find! The small avocado is the Haas, that is very tasty. When they are in season, they will be $1 at the store. $5 is insane!L: I think everyone has a twin. You must have found DP's. Wow. Kinda spooky. Hopefully dicktor will cooperate with my requests for meds and stat MRI.
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I hope I don't have a twin.. poor thing lol.
Z, glad to hear BG is making meals challenging for you
If you could get her to want lime green food.. you'll be on easy street and get veg in her. They have beet powder and organic food dyes that might do the trick.. I've think you can make a dye from cranberries too.. but that might not be the best option. I would swear you were here in Mass. with our weather... we are minus too and have a pending storm. Keep warm.. hope the boy's shot is uneventful.I got to about page 30ish of this thread, around the time that she was informed of the substantial brain mets... I had thought they found those in December, I didn't realize she already them in August. It appears her mother was in the picture to some extent as she said her mom stayed with her in the hospital all day when they were doing tests. I don't know why I feel the need to read this entire thread.. but I do
S, how are you feeling today ?
Lisa, what a sweet offer
Jennie, you must be from the south... "y'all"
M & Dawny, please tell us how hot it is today... I need to live vicariously through you
Anybody interested in going to Punta Cana? One of the Atty's in my office has a time share there and offered it to me whenever I want.. he said it would be cheap (not sure his idea of cheap and mine are the same) and could let me know how much if I told him when.
Ok.. work piling up.. I need to really get something done today.
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Hell yea I'd go. In a heartbeat. Not sure how feasible it is but it's nice to dream. Get him to give you a price and we will see.
Maybe you needed to see her. To let us know she's ok. Some parts of Ireland speak Gaelic. Even have a Gaelic channel.
My feet are cold, my nose hairs frozen. At least that's all that's frozen. Knock on wood. Off to Wally World to find pink cheese:) she also likes cheese with holes. Swiss cheese straight up!
S and G. Advocate for yourself with the dr.
Boy did awesome. Took it without any winging. Bribed him with angry birds and hot chocolate. He also took a stuffed dog. Said that's what helped. Whatever works.
Stay warm.
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Never heard of Punta Cana... looked it up - it's a nice place in the Dominican Republic. Nice and warm. Oh what I would give for warm. No school again today because of the windchill. Had to go to work because I have taken so much vacation in the past 2 weeks for 'winter break' and cold days. DD is here and we will have to go out in the tundra again for lunch. Oh well, it will help pass the time.
Ideism - I agree with Z. Maybe DP had to let you know she was ok. I have heard stuff like that before. As far a double, I had a weird week many years ago where several people thought I was someone else. A guy I worked with said "what were you doing in the engineering building yesterday?" huh? I wasn't there. A worker at Red Lobster came up to my table and said "Are you a doctor?" me: no, are you hurt? (what else could I say, right?). He said I looked just like the doctor who had set his broken arm. Then the following week I had jury duty and one person thought I was someone he knew. Oh and even creepier? Everyone I talked to that day at the courthouse - the lady walking in with me, the guy sitting next to me waiting for jurors to be called, and the guy I chatted with at the pop machine... all of us ended up on the jury.
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One of my co-workers is from the Dominican.. and she has the weather for several locations display on her phone.. it is 86 in DR right now. I just want a couple hours feeling the sun on me, it would be heaven. Z, I will find out, but he implied it depends when you go there.... lets see what end of March would cost
That's a sweet thought on DP, but if that was the case, she'd let somebody she was closer to know that she was ok, like Z or M.. etc. .. I think it's just coincidence.. but it was a nice one!
I feel like I have PMS.. I want fatty, greasy, salty foods and chocolate.
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It's 52 here with showers predicted (that's nothing new). Maybe some sun on Sat or Sun. I'm really glad we're not in the deep freeze. Sympathy coming your way.
I've had a lot of people ask me if I have a sister, which I don't. Perhaps I just have a generic face. I worked with someone with my name and voice. We were both travel agents and the airlines would get us mixed up. Then we worked at the same agency, and our DHs couldn't tell us apart.
Idesim, I've had the same urge to read the entire thread. Maybe it's a way of not losing her, to re-read everything she wrote.
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Well, my X-ray report is pretty bad. The radiologist concluded the report with "recommended MRI to evaluate for suspected neural impingement at multiple levels".Oh, poop on a popsicle.
The really scary sentence was the "near bone on bone narrowing at C5-6-7 levels". Rheumy seems concerned. So consults are put out for an MRI and nerve conduction test (sob). I have a steroid dosepak and some Lyrica for the nerve pain. And we will go from here. At least I still have a job and insurance.
Steroids will make me eat. May end up ordering pizza tonight after all.
DP may come to visit us in some ways. I had a co-worker who died suddenly and he visited me in a dream to let me know he was ok and was happy.
**waving to all ** Work time. Back later.
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Boooooo for the nvg. I did have a 4 level cervical fusion about 12 years ago. 3,4,5,6. Wasn't a lot of post op pain, a lot of relief from pre op pain. The J collar was a major PITA. Couldn't drive for 6 weeks, and had to use a bone growth stimulator. Doc went in anterior, can't see the scar.
I've seen my X-rays, I'd be sure to set off alarms with all that metal.
It sounds scarey, but doable.
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Glennie, so sorry to hear about X-ray report. Hopefully steroids and Lyrica will help with pain.
Zills, what in the world is pink cheese? Keep as warm as possible in your search for pink food.
Idesim, I agree that maybe DP was letting you know she is ok, knowing you would pass it on. After my sister passed, I had dreams from her where she let me know she was ok. She always called the little signs we have such as your sighting "God winks". I definitely believe in these signs.
I sure hope SC is ok and heart palpations have stopped.
have stopped.
My radiation onc told me yesterday that I have 10 treatments left, but he may add 4-5 boosts to scar area at the end. He is not sure yet. Other than fatigue, it had not been bad. I made the decision to stay off work until after rads end. I am a physical therapist in a skilled nursing facility/short term rehab center. The job is physically taxing but usually rewarding. I have the most wonderful, supportive work family!
Have a great night everyone. Glennie, pizza sounds like a great idea. Everyone keep warm and safe.
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Glennie, Sorry they're going to put you through that painful test. Hope the new drugs give you some ease. Nerve pain is the worst. What's your favorite pizza?
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Favorite pizza: Satchel's,,, meatball, mushroom, roasted red peppers and spinach. hmmmmmmmmmmm. they do not deliver though. One must go there,,, which is worth the experience, but alas,, I'm working now. If I get delivery, I usually get a local place called Five Star, cuz they are cheap and right up the road from me. Satchels is much much better quality and has very fresh veggies.Hoping the drugs will help at least for the short term. I could use some sleep.
Spooks,, that does not sound like fun.. Fusion is last resort. Hoping for foramanectomy (sp),, minimally invasive.
Wren: yes nerve pain is the worst. Percocet does not touch it. I've tried!
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I haven't read all the posts yet, but found this last night and thought it was just so beautiful.
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oooo.. pizza porn. Oh shit glennie... wtf? That sounds awful
Spookie you too.. that just awful.Lisa, God's winks.. that is so cute. Good for you taking a leave... I think a physically demanding job would be difficult during this... I worked through, but I sit on my ass a good part of the day. Oh wow, you're more than halfway through.. excellent!!!
Oh wow Wren, that's really amazing... you could have had some fun with that
I didn't really slip over to the other group until maybe October or something, so I didn't know DP as well as most of you did and only for a couple of months.. I think that's why I want to read the thread. I'm thinking her funeral might be Monday... sigh.
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