Maybe a dumb flat question?
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nd they say the third time you visit hi, you don't leave. I am so glad I got to go this year. It was so beautiful. Id like to go back some day without having the commitments. The Mormon community was closed the day my tour went through there.
It was a long day. The service was actually the nicest one I've been to in many years. It is a huge veterans cemetery. The plots are free. Well very well paid for with service. They are open 10-3 each day and have a 15 minute services back to back. It was all very organized. I get so irritated at funerals because so many of the preachers are always touting their agenda into someone's memory. Too much of a platform. The military officiant just sounded so peaceful and said really pleasant things. It was really hard to see grandpa so sad. His health has been declining and I have never noticed the slight frailty that I saw today. I've obviously been facing my own mortality of late, but today was almost like a normal dose.
I did get treatment today. Yay. 5 more to go. Saw RO. He says my steroid dose is really high and wants me to back off a bit. So I will try that starting today. Still not sure it makes me comfortable. But we wil see. I see the MO in the morning. Very anxious to get her thoughts.
Clueless update: I've just been informed that she updated her linked in picture to full on makeup and soft blurred edges. It has begun!
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Good to know about 3rd time to Hawaii.. I've been twice,, next time, I stay.I'm glad it was a nice service, DP, but I'm sad for your grandpa. It's hard to be the last sibling.
YAY, for only 5 more rads. Hope the MO has a game plan ready. In the bag with you.
Clueless,, oh lord,,,,,just ,, there are no words,,,,
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Morning all!
Beautiful day here, but last night, OMG, I thought the windows were going to be sucked out. The storm was unbelievable. There was thunder and lightning and the house was vibrating. It was huge. Today the sky is blue and the water is still. No damage to my garden, but I am willing to bet there are trees down, along the road to town.
Glad to hear you've only got 5 more rads to go DP! Slowly, slowly with the steroid reduction. I understand your concerns. I am in the bag tomorrow for your appointment, I am hoping you get the info you want from her.
I know what you mean about some funerals being a soapbox, for some preachers agenda. I like the ones I go to here who use Celebrants, no religious agenda at all and really focused on the individual. The woman who did my Mother's Funeral was amazing, it was as if she had known her. I really enjoyed listening to her, even though it was Bec and me who had given her all the stories to tell.
Hawaii, oh, I loved it when it was the first port of entry from Australia. Each time we went to the US we would have a stopover on the way and then on the way back if we were lucky! It is a little over 11 hours flying time from here, so it was great to break that long flight to the West Coast with some Hawaiian fun. I used to love the Hilton Hawaiian Village, with its little sandy beach pool. Bec loved it too. The Ala Moana shopping center was a fave, boy did I rack up some credit card action there, over the years. I think the water at Waikiki was the warmest I had ever encountered and Even though I live in Australia, I saw the worst sunburn I have ever seen there too!
Oh DP! Love the clueless update...this transformation will be interesting. I am predicting tears before bedtime, when it isn't as fabulous, as it seemed it would be!
Hugs to you! M x
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Glennie, getting spayed, I love that! lol
Hi ndgirl! I don't have any real experience with Mormons, except that I came home one afternoon to find 2 men sitting on my couch, who Vi had invited in. He had no idea who they were, or why they were at the door, so he had told them to come in and wait for Mum!
Bobo, you may be right! They may be the same person, imagine your MD moonlighting as DP's boss! Ha!
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Not Mormans but remember when the Jehovah Witness came to our house when our oldest son was there, he was maybe 10 or so and he emptied his piggy bank for their book! Boy if I could have run them down they would have been sorry for sure! Who takes coins from a kid? no time for that business ever since.
Storm sounds wicked Ariom glad you survived it.. suppose I will be posting about blizzards before much longer..so not ready for winter. It has turned chilly today, have a small heater going.
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they probably couldn't defy time travel to be the same person but perhaps if we dig into their family tree we might find a link. Oh the stories I could tell. The actual reason that she decided to make this "the year of her" is a real doozy that is actually pretty sad deep down. They are a real kooky family. Remember her sister was my star misbehaving employee. Over time I realized that they are just all so screwed up being the way they are and that it jusy perpetuates due to all the drama. Sister is actually a very dear friend now. Clueless has to control everything and every one and it makes me sad the way she manipulates her. But she also induces and allows her inappropriate work behavior. Much happier on the outside of the situation now. Cuz it's one that will never change so someone else an deal with it.
I made stuffed poblanos for dinner. My brain being out of whack and steroids are making me cook almost every day. It's so weird. Anyhow I just winged a recipe and bond said it was delicious. I thought he was just being nice but he ate 4 of them. My taste buds are shot but I thought it was good too. Now thinking about making a $2 investment to enter it in the fair. Lol. Grandma has been on me because if you enter 4 contests you get a free fair pass for the next season. Lol. That was before of course but why not.
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oh storms and chilly ariom. Still jealous! We are supposed to get a little break in the heat on Thursday. Looking forward.
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Hi DP, I had never heard of a Poblano, googled it, looks like what we call Capsicum and we stuff them with rice and herbs and stuff.
I think you should enter the contests, look at how good the Spam one turned out! I am still telling people about that! lol
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Oh, DP, stuffed poblanos sound delicious! You are feeding our Bond up so nicely. Definitely enter the fair contest.
ND, forgot to answer you: she said gastric bypass. I did not know those people were supposed to eat cream soups with bacon in them.
I am supposed to be getting ready right now, but I am not. In the bag, DP!
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I didn't think bypass was a lapro procedure. Maybe she's just dreaming big. Cream soup with bacon. Geez that sounds more like me steroid craving. Lol. Had oatmeal for breakfast a couple hours ago. It feels weird to not be hungry. Could be on to something here. I don't want to gain 100 lbs on chemo. Even though I kind of attributed my extra weight to tolerating AC/t so well. Eyeing that vitamix. Hopefully I will still have a bit of income to splurge with!
All ready to go to dr, it's so weird havif to wait on people to cart me around. I printed all my clinical trial info and put it in the bag, so you guys behave and don't crush it up with the stilletos.
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I am here DP! Just copped a teasing from Bobo on the other thread, so we may be a bit rowdy in the bag! I'll take off my shoes!
All the best today, hugs!!!! M x
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I'm here. Still in my pjs. Hoping to sneak in a nap and breakfast. I'll be the drooling, crumby one in the corner.
Firebob came in. Too tired to chase him. Snuffy growling. Won't let him in the bed. Cat fight.
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day off! In the bag too. Wearing flip-flops. No heels. No scrunching up the papers. I will promise to try to behave. Unless doctor makes us mad. Then. Who knows?
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((HUGS))
Squeezing big feet into heels...just for you DP!!! Might need help prying them off! Lol.
Take care,
Andrea
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Wrenn. Was it you talking about a light box? What do I need to know? Any dangers for the kids?
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In the bag with my blender full! So glad I can still wear my patent stilettos! S
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didn't go the way I hoped. Very sad day. I don't know what I expected. More hopeful I guess. I had not cried about it yet. have not been able to stop today. Started with the blood tech. Managed through the mo without tears. Had to go up to chemo room. Made me teary being in there. Then my favorite nurse came to hug me and look at my hair and I just lost it. Now I'm just bawling at random. Gah!
I should be done with rads by Monday. She wants me in for more CTs on Monday, which will never get scheduled that fast. She says it will have been a month since my ct and she wants to look at the growth. She typed extremely fast growing cancer in my notes. Should start chemo on Wednesday but I also have to get a new port by then.
I wanted her to be more determined. She was listing out all the drugs we could so and their side effects. Side effect discussions were never addressed as determinants before. She was listing these options as if the choice was mine on which ones. I know it is ultimately but I wanted her to say " this is the one that will work".
The combo she seemed to lean toward would exclude me from the brain mets chemo trial. But qualifying for the trial will take too long to start. So she says well we can just do the one drug. But I want to hit it hard. I don't know what to do. Too many decisions.
Most scary is how fast it's growing. My lung nodule is 5mm or was a month ago. I have a cluster of lymphs in the center of my chest. That's the scary one because I didn't feel anything before. But since the hospital I have felt so much pressure there, exactly where it is at, but I didn't know where they ever until today so it's not just in my head.
Sorry to be such a downer. Can't talk about this stuff with my family.
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DP, Gentle hugs. Go right ahead and cry. We have wide shoulders and lots of hankies. The CT people probably save spots for emergency patients so you may be able to get in right away. I would hate to have to make those decisions. I would like her to say 'this is the one' also. Wish I could send you some sunshine.
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{{{hugs}}} I have very big shoulders, DP so lean on mine and then the rest of us will continue to hold you. I cry with you as you are never alone! You are always in my thoughts and prayers! S
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(((hugs galore))) DP, sorry to hear all this trouble you are facing, but we are all here for you to cry, rant, rave, scream whatever mood strikes you. We are all together, what a band of parts missing gals we are! and with the biggest fighting spirits around!
Hoping you can get in early too and feel your pain about how to decide on which treatment...sending you many thoughts, prayers, and love. also thinking of how your grandparents are feeling too, you are very special to them.
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DP! We are with you. Just as ND says, we are a crazy bunch of parts-missing girls, and we are available for crying, ranting, screaming, etc. I would want her to put forward a clear plan too. I would want her to say, 'If it were me, this is what I would do.' Crap on a chapstick that she did not.
I am sending you gentle hugs and thoughts that the chemo will stop progression and kick these mets to the curb. XXXXOOOO
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DP: everyone else said it better than I ever could. I'm here with hankie and shoulder. Wish she had more definite plan too. ((Gentle hugs))
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thanks for all the hugs guys. Today is very surreal. I wouldn't think dropping down just one steroid dose would make such a difference but I have been tired today and not so wired. Been kind of sleeping on and off since mid day which feels funny. Forgot to say earlier that dr suggested pain meds for my chest pain. I thought geez, that's where we are at? I declined. I've always been of the mindset that I need to be aware of pains. Maybe the wbr is just effecting my mood today. Lord knows they deny any and all rads SEs but I think I read it could be one.
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Oh sweetheart, not what you wanted to hear, not what any of us wanted to hear, but we're all here for you. Fuck this shitty, shitful disease!
I hate to think of you crying alone, so far away, I am sending you big smooshy hugs and wish I could give you one in person. One for Bond too!
I know the decisions are tough and that you want to kick this bitch hard. If you can't get on the trial it has to be the next most potent mix. I am so sorry the Doctor wasn't on her game today, I'd like to give her a hard slap for that, but you show her, who is boss here!
I know you can't talk to your family about this, but you know you can get us any time you want, to vent, scream or cry. Together, we are a formidable 24/7 team, with very wide shoulders. Love always M x
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Oh sweetheart, not what you wanted to hear, not what any of us wanted to hear, but we're all here for you. Fuck this shitty, shitful disease!
I hate to think of you crying alone, so far away, I am sending you big smooshy hugs and wish I could give you one in person. One for Bond too!
I know the decisions are tough and that you want to kick this bitch hard. If you can't get on the trial it has to be the next most potent mix. I am so sorry the Doctor wasn't on her game today, I'd like to give her a hard slap for that, but you show her, who is boss here!
I know you can't talk to your family about this, but you know you can get us any time you want, to vent, scream or cry. Together, we are a formidable 24/7 team, with very wide shoulders. Love always M x
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Sorry, got so pissed off, I posted that one twice!
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Oh DP. Rads make you tired. Tired makes you sad and depressed. It's not a normal tired. Weather change not helping. I recommend ice cream! And an sleeping pill of your choice. Mine is Xanax.
We're here night and day. Don't hold anything back. Don't look at SEs. You want the biggest, baddest. Sorry about the trial but I didn't wait either. Just throw it at it hard and fast.
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my nodule is 7.5. It didn't change during chemo. Here's a link to show you it's relative size. I found it helpful.
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always spot on dr z. Had a little mint chocolate chip a bit ago. Perked me up for a minute. Today is just such a drastic change. Even with my head spinning the last 10 days I've felt pretty good and upbeat. I know the rads effects are cumulative. So I hope that is just it. I swear I can just feel it growing in my chest. So surreal how fast things changed.
I'm feeling quite guilty for the doom and gloom talk here. I know it isn't the place but I don't really ever feel welcome in the stage IV forums.
The dogs are acting funny around me. That is creeping me out.
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the worlds smallest frog. That is a great visual. He looks pretty harmless. :-) I think I'm least worried about the lung. Now that I understand it is all the lymphs causing the pressure. But I don't understand about the way those grow.
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