Moving On......After the Flap
Comments
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Happy belated birthday, Sweetpickle!0 -
Happy Birthday Sweet !
Hope you ladies had a great weekend.
I had a play date for my son (6) with his friends. Food shopped and wAsh done! Got Batman outfit for Halloween for son too! I am tired but satisfied.
So does anyone get numb or thick feeling arms at night? I wake up at night with numb arms and hands. This happened before my surgery with my high blood pressure! But only my hands!!!!But it went down with my weight lose;( do why again? Ugh! And my arms are so cold!!! If it wasn't 80 out is wear long sleeves!!0 -
Great tip on the anti-Neanderthal posture, Nihahi. No knuckle-dragging for us! My physical therapist had me practice squeezing my shoulder blades together in the back, for strengthening and a better awareness of where my shoulders were.
Do you have any suggestions for hand exercises, to help the painful joint effects from the aromatase inhibitor? I seem to keep my hips and knees OK from the bike riding, but my hands can be quite painful.
Bailey...peace, happy, and fearless. We are holding you up in prayer, you amazing woman.
Happy Sunday, gloobsters!0 -
Thanks ladies, another year vertical and breathing is awesome!
Tracy- I dont have that feeling now but felt it a lot prior to my bc diagnosis. Went away with chemo.
Bailey- You are so awesome and we are sending lots of prayers and positive vibes yoir way!
We went to a pumpkin patch and corn maze today with the kids which was so much fun! Hope everyone had a great day.0 -
Happy Birthday Sweet! There are a lot of us in October.
11 years ago my husband planned a trip for my birthday (12th) ,, but was diagnosed that week with IDC. We went anyways and I was miserable. Two years ago he did the same thing and I was diagnosed with ADH (pre-cancer) and canceled trip for lumpectomy. He did the same thing last weekend and we had a great time. The month of October has been bittersweet for me.0 -
I am really having hard time finding things I enjoy doing anymore.
Did some yardwork today. that was nice. hired neighbor boy to help spread mulch.
we got puppy. she is cute. lab/border collie mix0 -
Nihahi, I think the fitbit is very accurate. I have compared it to a route that I normally walk and it is accurate.0 -
Cherrie, in October 2011 we had planned a trip to Mackinac Island in Michigan and I was diagnosed a couple of days prior to our trip. Like you, we went anyway. It was pretty dreadful. Cancer radio had tuned in 24/7 and all I could do was worry.
The worry, like we say, is now a mouse in the corner rather than the elephant in the living room!0 -
Sweet, happy late birthday to you - seems like you had a good time.
Bailey, hope/pray for good news for you. Your attitude is really inspiring!
Was a beautiful day here, 14 C. DH and I spent the whole afternoon outside in the glorious sunshine. Lots of walking and climbing around a friend's (very!) steep empty lot Then the wind started to blow a little, and the leaves came floating down . . . yes, it is fall. Can't have summer without winter unfortunately..
Fredntan, enjoy the puppy!
Cherrie, third time lucky for you, eh? During chemo last year DH dreamed up somewhere for us to go almost every second weekend. I was so exhausted at the time, but looking back, it was a good thing to get away, and take our minds off the circumstances. Also made me feel somewhat normal, and not like a cancer patient.0 -
Tracy, if it were me, I'd call my doc about my arms. It may be nothing, it may be something, but you can deal with it better if you know. You accomplished a lot this weekend! The play date itself would exhaust me!
Friedntan, you gardened, you got a puppy...those are things to be happy about! I know what you mean about difficulty finding things you like to do. I am working on that myself. I'm counting my blessings more and that helps.
Cherrie, I wish my husband would plan a trip for me! I'm glad it finally worked out for you. Unfortunately, my diagnosis fell on my bro-in-law's birthday and has made that bittersweet, too. Today is my mom's 87th birthday and I couldn't be with her in Cali this year. She lost her only sibling, my aunt, this year and is having such a hard time. She's never been a big cryer so this is new and sad.
Sbel, I can hardly wait to see a picture of your angel, Aubrey. My granddaughter has bright red, straight hair and is complimented on it every where she goes. Orangutan, indeed!
Sweetpickle, I have such good memories of the pumpkin patch/maze over the years! Cherish these times---they go by so fast!
Back to the marching band stuff--was that on this thread??? My youngest played clarinet in hers and we went to most competitions. Liefie, we especially loved the trip to Victoria every year. My son-in-law was in the band, too, and he and my DD were great friends all through high school, college, through other romantic relationships. When they were both working on their master's in different states, sparks flew over the web conversations and they fell in love, finally. It all started in show band! By the way, they share the same birthday except my DD is a year older!0 -
Evening ladies....life just refuses to play "nice" sometimes, eh! Went for a lovely walk this afternoon, when I got home, hubby told me "better sit down". Apparently my son (just turned 30) (love him...totally disagree with most of his life choices for the past 15 years), has just been told by his latest fiancee (the third one in less than 6 years) that it's over. This also means, he likely will soon have no where to live. He hasn't worked much for several years, and not at all in several months, by playing the "I'm sick" card with hubby, (his employer). Frustratingly, he does have health issues, but rarely tries to rise above them. Hubby is starting to finally get the picture that he has been "enabling" our son, not helping him. There have been drug issues, alcohol issues, theft issues, run in's with police, manipulating hubby against me when I've tried to insist promises be kept or suffer the consequences, yadayadayada. Son is possibly going to ask for "us" to fund an apartment for him while he looks for a job/career training to "turn his life around". As we have been down this road before, complete with predictable broken promises, and hubby is nearing retirement, this is not the path we want to or can financially reasonably go. Even though we let our daughter stay with us (during my surgery timeframe no less) when her world fell apart, I am very much concerned about doing this for our son. There were times when I was concerned for my personal emotional and physical safety when he lived with us. You know the story....you love them, you want to help them, but there is a limit to what you can/should do. I'm trying very hard to remember some of the "positive thoughts" on the list I recently posted on the Diep2013 thread. Could use some prayers ladies, as hubby and I once again try to navigate the perils of parenting a very loved, but extremely screwed up young man.0 -
Jeannie, what a sweet love story, starting in the show band! My son is marrying a girl who was born just 3 months after him in the town where we lived at the time, and they've known each other all their lives. Started kindergarten together, started elementary school in the same class . . . I think the sparks started flying when they were both still in their strollers . . . lol.0 -
Jeannie- your are so blessed to still have your mom. It's hard to live away from family. My son comes n this weekend for a wedding and then we leave for VA to see my precious 2 year old Granddaughter. A lot to look forward to.
Bailey- thinking of you! It can only be good news for you. 🙏
Katy- 24/7 cancer radio was a great way to put it. I had a dreadful time too! I love Mackinaw Island. You will need to go back, but make sure you go to the Sleeping Bear Dunes Lakeshore. There is good biking in that area too!0 -
Ah, Nihahi! What a dilemma. I know a little of the heartache. One of my nephews, much younger than your son, has already put my DB and DSIL through the ringer with his addiction and behavior problems. My other brother's world crashed around him when he was arrested for drugs several years ago. He lost everything at age 50---home, girlfriend, teaching career. He had to move in with my parents! I'm happy to say that through God's grace my brother quit drugs/alcohol, is back with his girlfriend and even got another teaching job before he retired! All that to say, there is hope even if it is hidden behind a gray cloud right now. I pray you and DH find a way through this that you agree on and that is best for your son. Prayers for your son, too. We're in your pockets, even in this!
Earlier tonight I wrote a long post commenting on other posts but I must have forgotten to "POST" it and lost it....just know I'm doing my best to keep up with you all and celebrate your joys, commiserate with your pain and sorrows.0 -
katy....not familiar with the se's of aromatase inhibitors....is it "arthritis like"???? If so, the reason you're likely having success with knees and hips is because of the joint mobility from biking, without a lot of impact or torsion stress. For hands and wrists....you need to use the same "theory"...try to minimize impact (I assume you use padded bike gloves and have suspension on your handlebars???). Try to take breaks if doing very repetitive things like writing, typing, etc. Probably wouldn't try to overload hands with lifting heavy loads, try not to twist the joints....(let Jerry open those stubborn jar lids, or get some gadgets to help you do it),stuff like that....Again, not my area of expertise, sorry.
jeannie....thanks for the support..!0 -
Happy Monday!
(((((Prayers))))) to you and your family nihahi!!!!
I slept with pillows under my arms!!! That worked! I do need to see my family doc about blood pressure though:( ugh!!!
Gonna rain today... But I feel good! Hope you ladies do too!;)0 -
I want to be on VACATION! I am getting sooooo excited.
Nihahi....this hug is for YOU (((((Nihahi)))))) I have no experience since my children are still young, but I do have 25 years of HR experience and have raised a lot of employees lol. I will say, "tough love"......the kind that helps by making people self sufficient and strong within themselves is the most successful. It's also the hardest to do. I think it reaps the most rewards in the long run. I tell people if they don't like their life then change it. It's that simple. We all (me too!) want to make it hard so that we have an excuse but really it's simple. Change it. Make a plan and change it. It's so hard to distill everything down like that...we want to let all of the factors into the equation, but it's simple.
But you know all that already
Saying prayers for your family.
Yes, I have the same se' s as Sbel from AI. I am hoping acupuncture will help. We will see.
Enjoy today, friends.0 -
Nihahi, my heart breaks for you and your dilemma with your son. I wish I had wonderful words of advice, but you know everything I could come up with. It's just hard. We want our children to be independent and successful and happy, and when it doesn't turn out that way...well, here's my hug too ((((nihahi))).
Back in the office this morning! Have a great Monday, gloobsters.0 -
Nihahi, I went through a little of that with my middle child, now 29. Every grey hair on my head was caused by him, I'm sure, as well as many tears and sleepless nights. Then in 2010 he decided to smarten up, went back to university, passed the UFE, and became a CA. I never in my wildest dreams thought that was possible, but it can happen. It is so hard when something is wrong with our children, especially when they are grown up, because they want our help, but don't really want to hear our advice any more, right? I'm also a strong proponent of tough love. DH on the other hand has a heart like a marshmallow, and always wants to help them out. Kids only learn if they bump their heads, and experience life for themselves. We cannot do it for them. Big hugs, my friend! This can't be easy. On another note, I will be in Calgary on Friday . . . will pm you.0 -
Going golfing this afternoon....it'll be good to have something to SMACK! Then tonight I have finally jumped through all the hoops and paperwork (I think) and am going in for an interview with the Red Cross, to become part of their Disaster Management team.(hahaha) If they only knew of my current situation, they might not think I could handle someone else's disaster very well! Of course, the melatonin was a washout last night, maybe I can snag a Red Cross blankie and grab a nap if the interview is running late.
Tough love is what I've been truly trying to use for many, many years with this son. Problem is, when the other parent is an enabler, it just makes the "this is how it has to change, these are the consequences" parent....the bad guy!!! Pretty sure my "limit" of tolerance for that dynamic has run out. I truly believe people can change....not sure everyone will change.
Last fitbit question, hrf.....does it work on "step sensors" or on gps data? I'm thinking about the usefulness for things like skiing, where you get some "free distance" some of the time, slogging up the hills, the rest of the time?
Time to get busy, have good days ladies. Thanks for the hugs!0 -
Nihahi, my heart goes out to you. I will remember this in my prayers.
Bailey, I hope you have a great time in Vegas. We are spending next week vacationing in Michigan. We just moved from there last year, so we need to visit old friends. Really looking forward to time off that is not spent in recovery.
Tracy, pillows helped me with that too.
Belated Happy, Happy, Happy, SweetPickle!
Later! ...Julie0 -
Oh my goodness Nihahi! My heart is broken for you. I wish there were wise words that I could relay, but have not been in your position. In the field of education, tough love worked the best in the long term. However, both you and hubby would have to be on the same page. I am so sorry you have this to deal with. Your family will be in my prayers.
Bailey- a much deserved vacation!! Have fun.
Julie- Hope you enjoy your time in Michigan. Looking forward to great weather here this week.0 -
Nahahi- As someone who has been sober for fifteen years, I am so sorry that you are in that position right now. You are spot on about trying to convince your DH to not enable your son, it only prolongs addiction and makes it worse. Everyone has their own bottom to hit, Im grateful mine was pretty high and I never lost a job or had legal problems. I just woke up in strange places with strange people on a regular basis with no memory of how I got there. You are in my thoughts and if there is anything I can do to help, please let me know.0 -
Happy Tuesday!!
Woke up with shooting pain right in the center of my right (non cancer but still flapped out) IT lasted 5-10 mins... I had to sit up in bed. Grr! Hate that!
Went to the mall to get my 14 daughter a winter cost( or should I say jacket) ugh drives me nuts that teen!! Xoxoxo
it's cool today but the sun is shining! Smile!0 -
Nihahi - hugs and prayers for you regarding your son. Parenting is not easy!
Cherrie - prayers today for your MRI - and that you get you results quickly!
I'm ready to move over here, too. My journey started with my bilateral diagnosis in February. Thanks to the NOLA ladies I found a doc who would do my BMX and DIEP and now I'm done - I hope! I'm trying to do the "get sleep, eat healthy, and exercise" to avoid a recurrence. I've lost a lot of weight because of eating healthy and avoiding sugar, gluten, eggs and a bunch of other foods at the recommendation of a naturopathic doc but a different doc yesterday told me I will become malnourished and anorexic. Um - I can't see how eating a diet full of fruits, veggies and meat will do me harm - but I wouldn't mind some bread and desserts occasionally! So, I hate exercise but you'all are inspiring me so time to put the phone down and go hop on the treadmill. I use moves for free, too. It's crazy how it shows me exactly where I've been all day - it even tracks driving time and every location.
Okay, I'm off to walk....0 -
I swear, my kids are going to be the end of me!!! Thank you everyone for your prayers and words of encouragement...(sweet....you are one very special lady!!!!)
I had another "interview" and another ream of paperwork to complete last night, on my seemingly endless quest to become a regular volunteer with the Red Cross. Good to know how deeply they "vet" their people!!!
Anyway...while I was doing that, hubby was having a sit-down with son. Turns out that the fiancee issues might have settled down (she's not the most stable person either, but better than his previous ones), so the "homeless or living with us" scenario has been at least temporarily averted, and hubby and I are hoping maybe this latest crisis is the one that finally lights a fire under our son to get his act together. (One can always hope.....right???). I guess the silver lining out of all this, is it gave me an opportunity to try to explain (again) to hubby how the "enabling parent" thing hasn't/isn't working for either our son or for the hubby/me relationship..... Maybe this time he gets it????? (Again....hope never dies!!). So....after wasting a night/day full of stress...it's back in the saddle time for me too. Yesterday before my interview, I played golf with a couple girlfriends. Whacked that little white ball all over the place (not necessarily where I was aiming!!!) but 9 holes of whacking something certainly made me feel better!
Torn this morning between going down to the condo gym or out for a walk....pretty sure the walk is more of what I need today, but my neighbour will be expecting me in the gym, as I'm the one who encouraged her to start exercising again, and promised I would do it with her. I'll likely end up doing both. I see a nap in my future this afternoon!
klanders....I agree...unless your portions are teaspoon sized...can't see how eating what you described would put you in the malnourished/eating disorder category??? There is nothing wrong either with an occasional dessert or yummy slice of whole grain bread! IMHO!!!!!
Thanks again ladies for your understanding and support....today, I get back to "moving on......."! Love you.0 -
Nihahi, so happy for you that DS' living arrangements are working out for now, and that you can breathe more freely. Those girlfriend issues can be so hard on them . . . my wayward middle child had his heart broken five years ago, and has never been the same. He and his friends are a group of sworn bachelors who fish, hunt, barbecue, watch sport together etc. They firmly maintain that the girls they meet are only interested in guys with money. I do not really believe that, and will watch with amusement as they fall one by one - lol. I hope with you that DS will get his act together, and DH will get the message too. In my house I'm also the dragon, and DH is Father Christmas, so I get it.0 -
dangnabit.....got randomized to the control arm of the acupuncture study...which is do nothing for 24 weeks ':(0 -
Nahahi- So glad things are better for your son and that you got to whack the little ball around the green. :
Bailey- That stinks, so sorry hon. :
I am cooking dinner for my family but I will be sipping an instant breakfast. I am beyond disgusted with my weight rigt now!0 -
Well, Valium did the trick today and my soft night blinder. While having my MRI I giggled out loud as I pictured Wilbur the Pig. They asked me if I was ok. It really was more comfy than my breast MRI's. now the wait begins for the results.
Nihahi, so happy you can get some relief from "family" issues. That walk probably helped clear your head.
Bailey- Damn those randomized studies sometimes. I know you are disappointed, but you are going on VACATION.
Klanders- I need to concentrate more on myself too! I need to get this stressful week behind me. I am such an emotional eater.
Found out today that my doc has appealed to my insurance company because of such low reimbursement. My insurance company is calling me as the start of this appeals process. I am nervous. I don't want to say the wrong thing. Has anyone been through this?0
