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Husbands/Partners of Stage IV Breast Cancer

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Comments

  • LindaE54
    LindaE54 Member Posts: 1,379
    edited January 2015
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    MfromAus - that is certainly good news! and may they continue to drop.  It feels so good when we get good results.

    Linda

  • pajim
    pajim Member Posts: 930
    edited January 2015
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    Congratulations to you, your wife and your family.

  • eric95us
    eric95us Member Posts: 3,060
    edited January 2015
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    Awesome!!!!! :-)

  • 208sandy
    208sandy Member Posts: 582
    edited January 2015
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    Great news - hope you're celebrating!

  • moderators
    moderators Posts: 7,966
    edited January 2015
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    M-

    That is fantastic news! We're so happy for your family!

    The Mods

  • shutterbug73
    shutterbug73 Member Posts: 284
    edited January 2015
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    Wonderful news M

  • LindaE54
    LindaE54 Member Posts: 1,379
    edited February 2015
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    MfromAus - just checking in and wondering how you're doing.

    Linda

  • MfromAus
    MfromAus Member Posts: 59
    edited February 2015
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    Hi Linda, fairly stable at the moment. There was another full set of scans done last week and we get the results on Monday. I'm Praying for good news.

  • LindaE54
    LindaE54 Member Posts: 1,379
    edited February 2015
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    my prayers along with yours.

    Linda

  • MfromAus
    MfromAus Member Posts: 59
    edited February 2015
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    No sign of disease in the organs and markersare down to 51! 😃😃

  • eric95us
    eric95us Member Posts: 3,060
    edited February 2015
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    Wow!!!!!! Awesome news. :-)

    Eric

  • LindaE54
    LindaE54 Member Posts: 1,379
    edited February 2015
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    MfromAus - Excellent news!  Very happy for you.

    Linda

     

  • pajim
    pajim Member Posts: 930
    edited February 2015
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    That really is awesome.  Congratulations.

  • MfromAus
    MfromAus Member Posts: 59
    edited March 2015
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    Hi all, not that long ago I was almost certain I would be alone by now, but with modern medicine and god's grace things are quite stable.  What I am wondering is what's next?  The chemotherapy is just about finished and we have been told that my wife needs a break.  I assume that there are regular tests and waiting for the markers to rise again and look at the next option, I'm just not sure?  What are others experiences with care, post chemotherapy in stage 4?

  • LindaE54
    LindaE54 Member Posts: 1,379
    edited March 2015
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    Hi MfromAus - Happy to hear the good news.  I've had no experience with chemo (yet) so can't help you there.  When is her next appt with Onc?

    Linda

  • divinemrsm
    divinemrsm Member Posts: 6,018
    edited March 2015
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    MfromAus, it is good to read that your wife is responding to chemo. I am not quite sure if your wife is just er+, or triple positive? If just er+, I would think she would start taking anti-estrogen medicine daily.

    Here's my experience: in my mid 50s, diagnosed stage iv. mets to the bone, from the start, had six rounds of chemo from February to June of 2010. Had a lumpectomy in July. Then I had 33 rounds of radiation from the end of August to mid October. In November, I started taking the anti estrogen medicine Arimidex and have been stable on that since.

    How is your wife actually feeling? Depending on your answer, try to move forward doing small but pleasant things together. In between the lumpectomy and rads, we managed to get away for three days to Lake Erie, about a three hour drive from home. It was good to get a change of scenery. If your wife is up to something like that, try it. Even an overnighter somewhere. All we did was lay at the beach, sit in the sauna at the hotel then order take out to eat in our room. Try taking a day trip to someplace new, or someplace you love but don't visit often enough. Every once in awhile, we love to take a leisurely drive on country roads.

    I also bought a 46" flat screen tv as a reward for getting through treatment. I knew I would experienced great fatigue and figured I could sit around all winter and watch tv, which is pretty much what I did. Is there something your wife would like, a fun gadget, ipad, ipod, tv or new phone that you can afford that would perk her spirits up?

    Another thing to try is refresh a room in the house, get a new throw, new lamp, pillows, picture for the wall, rearrange furniture. Just something to keep both of you busy but nothing that interferes too much with everyday living. Keep it casual.

    Also,find ways to laugh. We went to see Jerry Seinfeld's stand-up act and literally laughed nonstop for over an hour. It was great. You can also find fun and funny tv shows or movies to lift your spirits.

    Yes, you will think about bc every day, but try to find your new normal and create a new routine. It sounds cliche to say enjoy the little things, but it's true. I love to birdwatch, find beautiful landscaping breathtaking,appreciate a clean house, a good meal, watching my cat sleep. I see my oncologist once every three months and get a zometa iv at that time, too and scan every six months. I have managed to squeeze in some wonderful moments into my life since the bc diagnosis. I hope the same for you and your wife.


  • MfromAus
    MfromAus Member Posts: 59
    edited March 2015
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    Hi Linda & TheDevineMrsM,

    My wife has oncologist appointments weekly, prior to chemo, but I don't know what the frequency will be when chemo is finished.  I don't think there will be any hormonal treatments.  After her first chemo treatment in 2009 she was put on Tamoxifen, in 2012 when the cancer was found in her lymph nodes this was changed to daily Arimidex and monthly Zoladex injections, but last year when her markers continued to rise she stopped taking them.  When I asked the oncologist about this I was told that hormonal treatment was no longer effective and the cancer would not respond to it anymore.

    I'm grateful for every day, and especially grateful that the pain level is lower and the spirits are higher, but still can't help but wondering what is this disease going to throw up next.

    Thanks for your thoughts.

    M

  • pajim
    pajim Member Posts: 930
    edited March 2015
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    MFromAus,  You should ask the oncs this question.  You can ask them even if your wife doesn't want to know.  They should be willing to have this discussion with you.

    It seems likely that after this course of Abraxane, she'll take a break for a bit.  They're monitor her tumor markers (i that works) or wait for more symptoms or do regular scans.  When the cancer becomes active again she'll re-start Abraxane.  You know it works -- so long as it continues to work the docs will continue to use it.

    There isn't really "post chemotherapy" for Stage IV breast cancer.  There are breaks, times when the cancer is not growing, and times when there is no evidence of disease.  Those times can last for quite a while. 

    I glad for you that your family's outlook on life has improved; may it continue to improve. . .

  • MfromAus
    MfromAus Member Posts: 59
    edited March 2015
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    Hi all, just a quick update. 

    Yesterday was the marker number result again, with the significant drops each time before we had high hopes for a below 30 number, but no such luck.  It now appears that Abraxane is holding the cancer at bay, but not making much headway.  After another full cycle the markers went from 52 - 48, which is better than going up, but not what we or the oncologist had hoped for.  The fatigue that is setting in from 5 cycles of chemo is reminiscent of the tiredness that was ever present when there was no treatment.  One more cycle to go starting in two weeks, and from there we wait and see.

  • LindaE54
    LindaE54 Member Posts: 1,379
    edited March 2015
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    MfromAus - Encouraging to see the TMs are still going down.  Good luck to your wife for next cycle.

    Hugs - Linda

  • MfromAus
    MfromAus Member Posts: 59
    edited April 2015
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    Just checking in to give you a brief update.

    My wife went for what we believed was to be her last chemo appointment last week and we asked about what was next.  The oncologist said that there were not a lot of options at the moment and the best thing is to continue with chemo.  We don't know how many more cycles, it depends on when the side effects become too much to continue.

    One of my wife's close friends passed away this morning from BC, and the comment I got was "she trusted mainstream medicine" so I'm a little concerned about what may happen in the next few months.

  • LindaE54
    LindaE54 Member Posts: 1,379
    edited April 2015
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    MfromAus - I am so very sorry to hear that your wife's friend passed away this morning.

    At this point, I would get a second opinion.  I had one and it confirmed that the tx I'm getting is the right one.  But others were given different options.  Stage 4 requires constant tx, unfortunately.

    If the tx keeps her stable, that's good news.

    Linda

  • MusicLover
    MusicLover Member Posts: 777
    edited April 2015
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    MfromAus - I am sorry also.  I would suggest that if your wife wants to try alternative medicine that you suggest that she uses it as a complimentary therapy to the conventional medicine that she is getting.  This way everything is covered.

  • MfromAus
    MfromAus Member Posts: 59
    edited May 2015
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    Hi all, I don't know if anyone will have answers but I'm feeling concerned. Last night my wife asked for a shoulder rub and when I was doing it I found that all the lymph nodes in both shoulders are quite large. Last time this happened it was the cancer on the move again. She is having a full body CT and bone scans tomorrow as well as CA15 markers (this was planned before yesterday) and we only get the results a week later. If anyone has any thoughts or has been there before?

    Thanks M

  • LindaE54
    LindaE54 Member Posts: 1,379
    edited May 2015
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    MfromAus - Bumping your post hoping someone has more experience with this.  Swollen lymph nodes could be an infection but I really have no idea.

    Wishing you the best.

    Linda

  • divinemrsm
    divinemrsm Member Posts: 6,018
    edited May 2015
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    M, it's fortunate the scan was scheduled already. I can't say what the issue is, but I would strongly recommend that you request to know the scan results as soon as possible. One week seems extremely long to wait. Many of us get results within a day. My scans are scheduled in early morning. I have a checkup in the afternoon with the onc. She is able to bring up the scans on her computer and looks at them for preliminary results. She will tell me the results are not official because they must be verified by a radiologist, but she can give me an idea of what's on them. I always ask to have results mailed to me and get them within about four days.

    Plz explain to those giving the scans what your concerns are and say you'd like to know results as soon as possible.


  • MfromAus
    MfromAus Member Posts: 59
    edited May 2015
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    We wanted to get the results sooner, but the oncologist has been called interstate.  I'm worried that we'll get a phone call in the next couple of days telling us to see someone, if the chemo has stopped being effective I'm really scared about what next.

  • divinemrsm
    divinemrsm Member Posts: 6,018
    edited May 2015
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    Try to just take it a day at a time. Easier said than done but realize you will take care of things as they unfold. More than that, you cannot do. I would still ask at the time of the scans for more immediate results. The radiologist reads the scan, the onc just gives you the radiologist's report. It doesn't hurt to ask. You might be surprised that you have more say so in the matter than you think. Take some deep breaths and try not to project yourself so far into the future wondering what if. Best wishes to you and your wife

  • MfromAus
    MfromAus Member Posts: 59
    edited May 2015
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    Got the results yesterday, not great.  The Taxol chemo has stopped working and there has been significant progression with increased activity in the skull, spine, shoulder blades, ribs, pelvis & femurs.  CA15 markers went from 48 to 86, lymph nodes in chest and shoulders have all increased in size.  My wife has agreed to try one more chemo drug, which starts next Monday (Eribulin), but she is well aware the more treatments that fail, the less likely success is.  I have an overwhelming sense of helplessness at the moment, damn this disease.

  • LindaE54
    LindaE54 Member Posts: 1,379
    edited May 2015
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    MfromAus - I'm so sorry.  Damn this disease as you say.  I hope and pray this new tx will kick those buggers with minimal side effects.  I will be in spirit with you next Monday.

    Linda

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