Life does not end with a stage IV diagnosis (really!)
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Hallo Dawnann I found I cried pretty much solid for a month (I don't think that my hormones being all messed up helped) . Now four months in I have these bouts of despair occasionally but I set my egg timer to five minutes then the pity party is over. You will get some great advice and information from the woman here.
Wendy
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hi Dawnann,
I am sorry you are having a rough time right now. I have certainly shed my share of tears since my dx in June. I still have an occasional breakdown, but sometimes now they are tears of joy for something that touches my heart. Don't take me wrong, I still have those darn sad tears sometimes, too. My DH and I cried together right after dx, then we talked and talked and talked. We made a few decisions that have helped us move forward. We decided to throw the statistics out the window. They are meaningless, based on old data, and not specific to any individual. We decided that I can be one of the mbc people who will live for many years. We agreed that I needed doctors who shared my positive outlook but who are honest with me. We focus on experiences and joys we have and will have rather than thinking about what I might miss someday. I never miss an opportunity to give hugs and kisses to my family and tell them I love them.
I am alive today, and that is a gift and a blessing. I intend to enjoy every minutes.
I hope this helps a little. I will hold you in my thoughts.
Lynne
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Lynne your words are an inspiration and so true.
Dee love the pic we are supposed to reach 19 degrees today yeah.
Everyone have a lovely Friday
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Well said, Lynne. Wendy - I may "steal" your post about the timer and put it on the dark clouds thread...unless you want to put it there!
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Dawnann, you will learn a lot from these kindhearted supportive ladies! The tears will leave after a bit but may still come to visit occasionally. As Lynne says, some tears are for beautiful things that touch your heart. Please tell us more about your diagnosis, that way we can direct you to threads that may be more specific to your mets. In the meantime, take it easy on yourself, educate yourself as much as possible and let us help you through this difficult time
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Terre so funny I looked for your thread yesterday because someone else had mentioned it , couldnt find it however .
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Wendy, Here it is....
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Despite almost no negative reactions from colleagues, parents, family or friends with respect to my bc, I was very surprised by something that happened in my class yesterday. Here is the note I sent to a students parents:
Dear xxx,
Yesterday, during a discussion of Walkathon, a student was a bit upset because he wasn't going to be able to attend. I mentioned that a few years ago, I was unable to attend (that is literally all I said), and that it was alright. xxx shouted out "I know why you didn't go. You had cancer." I simply said "that's true." And we moved on.
While I have always been completely open about my health with parents and staff, I chose not to share this with first graders because (unless you have a family member in this situation), it can be upsetting and they may have a limited framework with which to understand this. The parents, who were in my class that year and the principal, completely agreed.
Since xxx was not at (school name) , and quite young, four years ago, I'm not sure how he came upon this information. Regardless, I hope you will speak to xxx about the inappropriateness of sharing others personal information.
At this time, none of the other students have mentioned it and I am hoping it went over their heads, but I will deal with it in an age appropriate manner should students bring it up. Thanks for your support and understanding.
Mrs. xxxI must admit that I was a bit flabbergasted that a child who was 2 or 3 years old at the time I was on medical leave would even know about this. Life is always full of unexpected moments.
Caryn
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Caryn,
I think you handled this just beautifully, particularly with the children when you were caught completely off guard. It was honest, matter-of-fact, and you moved on. But the blurting out of someone else's personal information is just wrong, and I hope that his parents will take this as an opportunity to teach their son a lesson. I can't even address the gossipy parents… ugh.
Sorry you had to go through this!
Rose.
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Thanks, Rose. It was just so strange because of the fact that this was years ago. I never imagined that a child who was a toddler at the time it happened, would bring it up! My bc has never had any impact on my job, since my return to work, so I can't imagine how this child knew about it.
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Caryn,
Sorry you're going through this. I think you handled it well. I would guess that the child knew because his parents know. That's the logical place of him to have heard it. And children do blurt out things that are inappropriate; they don't have their filters in place yet. So maybe this will be something good for the children in the long run - they will learn more about filtering their conversation and also that someone can have cancer and still be ok and working.
Hugs,
Terre
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Yes, I agree that children don't always have great filters. What surprised me was that this was so many years after the fact (he was not even attending the school at the time). Even children who were in my class that year did not know the nature of my medical situation. The school principal, school psychologist and I, made very careful plans with respect to what students were told so that it would be age appropriate and not scary or upsetting. Why, so many years later would they be discussing this in front of a first grader?
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Caryn, It's likely because some people are just idiots. So maybe these people will learn something too. That said, it is possible that it was a case of little pitchers have big ears.
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exbrnxgrl, that is an interesting yet puzzling story. I wonder if the student maybe heard someone, an adult or even another older student on the bus or in the cafeteria line, referring to 'his' teacher as, " oh, yes he has Mrs. exbrnxgrl, you know, the teacher who had bc a few year ago?" Kids pick up the darnedest things.0
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Yes, that's possible. It just seems like such old news to me
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Caryn
So sorry you are going through this. I live in a mid size city but I am always getting lessons on how small it is. So who knows who crossed this childs life with your info. You did handle it so well. Children are so perseptive. You are so confident and comfortable with your health concerns, I believe that is why they. have no questions. They are following your lead .
Peace to you and please continue enjoying the work you. love so much.
hugs to you
mary
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Hello everyone,
It's been so long since I have posted on BCO... I have been an absentee bc sister... I miss reading about everyone and really need to be more engaged. Caryn - I agree with what someone else said.. it's likely that your first grader heard it from his parents, although it would have had to be fairly recent news to him/her (recent as in... the last year, as opposed to when he/she was 3 or 4) as they would have forgotten about it. Parents have such big mouths sometimes. I'm sorry you had to deal with that but it sounds like you handled like you do everything else in your life - very smoothly and matter of factly. I am glad you wrote a letter and addressed it.
Hope all else with everyone is going okay... I started a new job - fulltime - I think I mentioned that before, and it's been keeping me very busy. I had scans in August and they were clear, but I haven't been to the oncologist since then and have to go tomorrow.... I skipped my last Herceptin infustion.... so of course. I am nervous about my tumor markers, etc. Ugh.
XOXO to everybody!
Andrea
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Good evening ladies I have a quick question . Have any of you watched the docu-series "The truth about cancer A global quest". If so thoughts?
Wendy
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Wendy3 - I saw part of it and found it mostly unwatchable. While I believe that there are some dietary things that we can do to help ourselves, I just did not like the tone of this documentary. it felt too much like a sales pitch.
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scrunchthecat, you took the words right out of my mouth
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I watched three of them. I agree with the dietary options that we can do for ourselves at home, but was really turned off by most of what I saw. I actually do the budwig cottage cheese/flaxseed oil breakfast. Best bird has a great recipe and will share it with anyone who asks. And it tastes great. They did give the reasoning for the mixture in one of the videos and I was glad to see that. I'm not going to buy "fuel" developed by some guy for his wife who was going through depression to take with every meal to give my body everything it needs. With a nutritionist I'm sure I could plan my own diet where I could get everything I need without paying someone else for supplements. I looked up some of those magnetic machines they were hawking and they started at $4,000 and went up. Can't imagine how much the special water machine was. They talked about the cost of chemo, radiation, etc and how big pharma is all about the money, but they were selling everything. All those guys they talked to looked pretty wealthy. Don't know why this Ty guy always walked around looking like a slob with his shirt hanging out! LOL! The good thing for me is that I started really thinking about things I could do to help myself that would 't be outrageous. I already buy organic dairy products, but told my husband it would probably be good to buy organic veggies and fruits. I am not big on sweets, an occasional candy bar, so cutting sugar from my diet would not be difficult. I will probably watch the last one tomorrow to see if there's anything new, but believe me, I won't be trying coffee enemas anytime soon
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Gatorgal Lol yeah coffee enamas four times a day sounds like torture. However I did find there was a lot of good information on alternative therapy but unless I win the lottery I'm not flying to Mexico anytime soon for treatment. I will not do chemo though on this point I am sure. Already doing the pot oil and CBD pills so we shall see. I found the series all in all hopeful and that is something I seek on a daily basis.
Wendy
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Haha! i'm with you Gator Gal! No enema's for me....When i first signed up to get the Cancer documentary I got about 15 EMails in the first 3 days and just right away got the feeling it was a pitch. I might try to watch a few episodes for any "real" info it might impart but I cannot stand when offers turn into a pitch.
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I was going to watch the series, but after I had seen the preview, I decided that it wasn't for me. I have been trying to focus on the treatment I am getting, and I am not ready to hear that my medications are bad or useless, etc. I need to believe that I am doing the right thing. I have done a lot of research on conventional treatments, and I am comfortable for now. I do believe that alternative therapies have their place, too. But like artistatheart, I did not want to listen to a sales pitch. I have noticed an increase in junk email since I signed up for the series. Has anyone else?
Lynne
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I know my medications are not bad or useless as I have had no progression in over 4 years, manageable se's and I lead a almost normal life. I too believe that alternative/complimentary tx has a place in my life, but as a complement . I have yet to see research based evidence of the efficacy of alt tx. On the other hand, I have seen research based studies and trials of conventional meds, including the good, the bad and the ugly. I have also had doctors who were completely honest with me about everything related to my tx.
Coffee? Love it, but it enters through only one orifice in my body. Sales pitches for unproven therapies? No, gracias.
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"Coffee? Love it, but it enters through only one orifice in my body."
Snorted coffee out my nose with this statement! Does that count as alternative?? j/k!
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I agree 50sgirl, I don't want to be told that my treatment is bogus. I am sticking to tried and true not a lot of hype that has no research to back it up. I won't mind checking it out on my terms but the instant huge surge of "junk" EMails to me was a huge red flag. I plan to add complimentary therapies a little at a time as they make sense to me. Suersis, if you don't mind can you tell us what other herbs your naturopath recommended? Are shitake mushrooms taken as a supplement and for what purpose? Caryn, I have to say one of the biggest issues I am having with this diagnosis is my work situation and the idiotic things people say to me. I am the Admin Secretary in an extremely hectic Elementary School. People will stop at my desk in the middle of utter chaos to start recommending treatments and telling me in front of 20 people how their church is praying for me. It's just yucky. I live in a town of 15,000 and it seems like everyone in town has heard. Creeps me out....GG27 LOL! Good one..
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Lynne yes I totally get that, I guess for me since this is all fairly new and with what I have experienced so far within the medical field I'm feeling skeptical about what is really right for me. Though I wish the best for everyone whatever road they decide to travel.
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hello,ladyes,how about "CHAGA TEA"?somebody drink this tea?
I bought and don,t know can it be mixet with Ibrance/letrozole
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hopinfitch I have been drinking chaga tea since June as well as a chaga tincture that I made. Chaga is proven to aid in the building of white blood cells. I am on tamoxifen so I don't know about your treatment combination. I had a nature path suggest it to me and have been using it regularly morning and night since June.
Wendy
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