Life does not end with a stage IV diagnosis (really!)
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Congrats Terre!
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Terre that's huge congratulations to you dear lady. You and your hubby and kitty deserve it. I hope you post lots of pics. I miss those cabbage trees and fern trees down there. Maybe one day I will make it there again. Anyway enjoy the new dies and it's so not crazy it's life.
Wendy
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Kiwi, you crack me up! "Kark It"? hahahaha That's so great, your own home! whoop whoop! Sooooo fun to do what the hell you want with your own house. Hey, in our situation why not practice some madness??!! Caryn, I agree that most of the state money or donated money is regulated, audited. However I have experienced the exact same thing as Divine as far as nepotism in hiring, wild spending on "preferred" items, bending rules to benefit the top. We pass bonds in our District then a specIal "board" decides and sometimes it is astounding, the decisions that are made....
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Terre, WOOHOO for your new house! That is wonderful news and is so exciting. Try not to overdo it when you move in. Life DOES go on.
Lynne
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congrats Terre!! Enjoy and don't hurt yourself trying to do everything too fast! Moving is a lot of work, but totally worth it
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Since I am the op of this thread, you may all run the topic off track, whenever you need to. That is certainly part of the normal life!
Terre,
Congratulations on your new home. My you enjoy every minute of living in it.
Schools... Certainly those who are intent on taking advantage of any institution can and will find a way around oversight and regulations. We also have bond measures and parcel taxes in my district, but before they are put on the ballot, the use of these monies isclearly outlined to the voters and if they pass, oversight committees keep the spending in line. My school district is very highly regarded and if there was any hanky panky with bond money or parcel tax money, the voters would never pass one again. I haven't seen hiring nepotism or well off parents buying or unduly influencing school district decisions. My district is quite small, just 6 elementary school and 2 middle schools, but we are in an urban/suburban area smack in the middle of Silicon Valley. Hardly anyone is originally from here!
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congratulations, Terre. You've been working on getting your own home for quite a while. So glad to see your plans come to fruition! Enjoy!!
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exbrnxgrl, your neck of the woods is quite a contrast to the town where I live. Of the 15 houses on my block alone, seven of them are homes that have been in the same family for several generations. Its like that all over town. Generations of families sometimes live all on the same block. There are less than 850 students in the entire school district and some of those are from out of town due to open enrollment.
Speaking of houses, congratulations, Kiwicat, on the purchase of a new home. Very exciting. You will be quite busy with moving; hope it all goes smoothly as possible.0 -
Thx for the kind thoughts everyone!
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Terre - congrats on the new house.
Hope everyone else is doing well as we move into the holiday season!
I have not been on much lately - distracted with life, which I guess is a good thing
Both of my children are adopted. Last Saturday my ex, me and my dd (age 17) met her birthdad for the first time. She asked us to open this up earlier this year. It took a great of energy to support her the week prior. Very fragile, overwhelmed falling behind at school. I spent most of the week walking on the proverbial egg shells. But she did it and did it remarkably well. We all had a nice lunch, then her dad and I left the restaurant and gave them about an hour alone. He became a bit of an ass when we left , saying things about her birth mom and half brother. But he was honest about himself, jail time etc. When I picked her up, she was like "Mom, really what an ass" So the good news is I was here to help arrange, process and figure out what if anything she wants moving forward. He has another daughter, within a few months of age as my daughter (yes he had a busy few months). She would like to meet her and perhaps have a relationship, but the other young girl is not ready yet. So this saga is not over, I need to be here for a while longer. She has a great relationship with her birthmom, and half brother, as do her dad and I. She is going to spend 5 days with them before Christmas.
A week later, I am finally beginning to process and understand how it all fits into our story.
Thanks for listening - this is the good news, we are still here for the good, the bad and the challenging!
Be well
Nel
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Nel, What an emotional roller coaster that must have been for your family. I am sure it was not easy for your daughter to find out what her birth father is really like, but good for her for recognizing the type of person he is. You obviously did a good job of raising her, and she knows that you and your DH are there with love and support.
Lynne
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Nel, I cannot commend you enough for what you've done for your daughter. My parents divorced when I was 18 months old and my dad vanished. I knew he was an ass (alcoholic wife and child beater), but there's still that little piece of you that wonders why daddy couldn't love you enough to be part of your life. I found my father when I was 35. He was truly an ass (and I am being extremely kind here). Finally put that little piece of me to rest - it WAS his problem, not something unloveable/wrong with me. However, my mother was completely freaked out, threatened to disown me, and made my life a living hell for about 4 years. I only had contact with him by phone for about 2 weeks, but I certainly paid the price. I always felt it came down to my mother feeling like there wasn't enough love to go around - I could either care about her or care about him, not both. As it turned out, I didn't care about him, but I know there is more than enough to go around.
Just before I left the US, I got to meet a cousin from my dad's side. The cousin and his wife are amazing! And I learned so much about the family and it explains so much about me. I look a lot like my mom, but there are pieces that don't fit, like my Fred Flintstone feet (from dad!). The cousin and his wife recently came to NZ to visit and with everyone on mom's side passed away, it was so nice to feel like I am still connected to a family.
I have friends who are adopted and we've discussed their situation and mine. That little piece of you that's always missing and those little nagging questions. So I salute you, Nel, for helping your daughter through this time and being open to having a relationship with her birth parents.
Sending you huge hugs!
Terre
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KiwiCatMom, congratulations on your new house! What do the kitties think of it?
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Thanks ShetlandPony! We do the big shift tomorrow and move the cats in the morning. I'm sure they'll be a bit freaked out for a while, but I'm sure they'll enjoy having an acre to roam on (in a few weeks) and chickens to chase.
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Kiwi, that sounds like heaven! Is it winter there and what kind of weather are you having?
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Yippee, Kiwi!! I remember when you first started the moving process. Hope you're thrilled with your new place...and animals are too!
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Hi all,
The big move is almost done; just a few bits and bobs left to move, and cleaning the old place. Hooray!
It is coming onto summer here. I won't say it's summer because the weather has been crap. Today was lovely though, as was yesterday, which was moving day.
I am exhausted as is hubby, but now we can take our time, unpack, and enjoy. We've already gotten 4 eggs from our chickens at the new place.
Thanks so much for all the good wishes.
Terre
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So happy for you Terre! Enjoy the heck out of that house. I had much delayed maintinance. done on my house this summer so I have a new bathroom and bedroom. It all makes me ridiculously happy
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So happy for you Terre , I had chickens for years so fun and way healthier than what you get in the store. Now you can relax and enjoy summer in your new digs.😊
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Another life affirming experience...
I'll be going to my younger dd's ultrasound appointment in a few hours and will find out the gender of my new grandchild!!!!! My SIL and his mom will be there too and then it's out for a celebratory late lunch and, perhaps, a bit of gender specific shopping. So excited. ( and it's raining, which we desperately need)
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So exciting for you Caryn! That's awesome.
No worries about confusion, Suersis - I'm American so I don't mind. My husband is a Kiwi and he'd be a bit pissy. But then he's a grumpy old man so that doesn't matter either.
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Caryn = how wonderful Enjoy all the moments
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I am sooooo envious Caryn, I live for that day alone!
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I realize how fortunate I am to have my dd's grown and able to take care of themselves. The grandchildren are the reward for all the work it took to get them there 😜. I hope you all get to have that experience one day. It has been a joy with the first grandchild and this one is like the icing on the cake. When I was first dx'ed, my younger dd was just getting engaged. I was afraid I wouldn't see her wedding so it is really amazing to know I will be here for the birth of her first child.
My granddaughter , now 3 1/2, upon learning of her new cousin's gender said, " Baby xxx will love Auntie K (the mother), but he/she will love me more." From the mouths of babes
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It's a boy! Baby Miles is due in late April. Having a boy in the family will be a new and exciting experience 💙💙💙💙
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exbrnxgrl, that is simply awesome news, and congratulations on the upcoming new addition to your family. What a blessing. We have both a granddaughter and grandson; they are equally joyful yet in different, magical ways. So happy for you. What a blessing
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Congrats, Caryn!
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Such wonderful news, Caryn! When is the baby due?
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Wow Caryn that's great news a boy exciting, I bet you can't wait till April. Hugs Wendy
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Congratulations Caryn! Grand children are awesome!
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