STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER
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I'm visiting the UK to see family for the first time since finding out it spread...met SIL and her husband and kids for the morning. We ain't close to put it mildly.
The eldest child (8) asked why my my hair was so short - I replied I'd had some strong medicine and my hair had come out. He replied, "well, we're going to call you uncle from now on!"
So, deep breaths (kids at that age wouldn't come out with that thinking it's funny so reckon that was his parents laughing at my expense). Then BIL asks straight out, " how long have you got left?". I looked him in the eye and replied about 26 months, but that was from last Dec. He went white as a sheet.
They're meant to be visiting Australia to stay with us in November...I can't believe I'll be hosting such rude, ignorant f*cktards...hubby must be adopted...
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So I'm not sure exactly where to post this but it does make me mad. There is a lot of cancer in my neighborhood. I can't believe it is a coincidence. I obviously have been diagnosed. My father died of lung cancer 15 years ago. Five of my neighbors have died or are still battling it. Hell, even my German Shepherd had two types of cancer. That's just what I know of. Am I crazy to think there must be something in the environment?
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Blondedoris: I say put them in a hotel....even if u have to pay for it.....or just tell them not to come. Why waste your precious life dealing with them
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Metoo14, you are not crazy and clusters of cancer should be reported to the local health department so they can investigate. It sometimes IS something in the groundwater or water supply that you drink or the soil so don't discount your concerns just yet. Often it turns out to be coincidental but let the dept. of health decide that.
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Ok, came here to rant as well. Mine is NOT cancer related but it might be. Ever since I was diagnosed, I have applied for 4 internal postings/promotions at work that I am HIGHLY qualified for and have not gotten any of them. I believe it is because everyone around here knows I had BC. I can't prove it but I was talking to a co-worker and I said "as usual, they chose someone else" and his reply was "Maybe they think you have too much going on." I am PISSED that he thought that too.
I missed only a few days since my diagnosis and although I have more doctor appointments than some of my coworkers, I take LESS time off for illness than many of them do. So, am thinking that between being 60 years old AND my diagnosis a couple of years ago, they don't choose me. WTF???
Phew, that felt really good...thanks Sas. This was a great idea for a thread.
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April, I wish I never told my boss about BC not even a year after going thru hell I got a layoff notice after 30 years. I know many people got laid off but this was a stab in the back.
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I have frequent dizziness and eye focusing problems.
Now I am paniked.
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Raidergirl, you should call your MO right away. I would not panic until you have tests that SAY you have to panic! It is likely sinuses as this summer, pollen is out of control. It can wreak havoc with your middle ear and balance and your eyes as well. HUGS! Let us know what happens!
Meow, that really sucks! WOW, 30 years! Sorry they did that to you.
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I think its caused by crying. Really thought I'd run out of tears by now. Nope they keep coming. I use to smile all the time.
30 years of what? sorry I missed something.
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April485
I don't mean to be a pessimist but it is because of the bc. I heard it too often.
sorry but hey F8ck 'em , since they think you have too much going on you ought to take even more time off.
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Raidergirl, you are absolutely right. I should call out more often. I am still FMLA covered (main office made me get it recertified in case I need to justify doctor's appts. etc.) so I can take as much time as I need to up to I think 1600 hours of sick time. I am only taking it on an intermittent basis right now cause if I actually decided to "go out" on short term disability they would be screwed. HA! Maybe I will do that...lol
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April
If you read other posts on here you will find that every single employer has screwed the bc employee. Hell, they do it to non bc employees. You are not a priority .
Take your hours off. You earned them and your not getting promoted anyway.
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NOW is the time to take of yourself! I hung on at work and still got screwed out of my job and my COBRA because they had no idea they were short employees for one quarter of the year. Nice! I now owe $60,000 plus. But since I am worth more dead than alive now, they will be waiting a long time to see any of it. Thankfully I have a new job, and was given my employment offer today! No more temp, and good insurance. Unless you work for your Mother, screw them and take the time you have worked so hard for. You earned it, and you deserve it. And you need to get well, hard to do working. Eat bon bons! Cheryl
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April stick it to them. And thanks 're thread
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Beachy
Your now officially one of the working miserable. LOL
Really, its hard to work after this dx but its equally exhausting to have all the stress and worries of unemployment.
Hurray for you.
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Hi Raider Girl, I'm not miserable, I do love the job, just exhausted from the hours! And wearing steel toe walking shoes, uniform pants, a white lab coat, safety glasses, and a hard hat! Not exactly suits, dresses, and heels that I wore at my last job in sales, but actual money no mystery commissions! And no phone to answer or customers to deal with. I just take care of quality testing for the lines.
The real frustration is learning everything I have to know with freaking chemo brain and a sucky memory. I have 3 notebooks in my pocket because I can't remember shit! Freaking chemo side-a-f&*ks! That makes me crazy mad.
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It has been close to a year since I have lurked about but today I felt the need to lurk when I found this page for Ranting. My rant is connected to my Cancer but then again not mostly emotional sadness and I just needing to do something besides cry. I was diagnosed in 2011 and at the time life was good and then the bomb was dropped and the man I planned on growing old with said he could not deal with all of it so good for me he left. My daughter was my reason to live and my biggest supporter. She was a very great young woman with Down's Syndrome so all the more reason I needed to live was for her. 6 months ago she woke up with a leg cramp and a few hours later she died from DVT blood clot from her left leg broke loose and I watched my daughter die and I could not stop it or help her. Now all my world is gone and I have to learn to rebuild again only this is much harder than any cancer treatments. I hate being the tough person all the time. People think I'm doing well but they don't understand my how much anger I have. The deck has been stacked against me most of my life and I have usually been strong and deal and go on but this time I just cry and I'm not finding a path to take yet. Hope the next one is better than this last one can't handle anymore of life's S**T...... Thanks for this page so I can pound away my tear at least for today. Flatsy
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How horrible! I can just say that I am so sorry for all you've been through. Feel free to rant there are a lot of people here who understand. {{Hugs}}0
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Oh Flatsy. Sending lots of hugs your way!
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I am madder than hell with the message "healthy lifestyle" is the key to not getting cancer. I think we should launch a major revolt on breast cancer awareness month.
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I am ready to say F*** it and stop the chemo; I want my body back!! My intestines are all messed up; I can't have a regular BM without some sort of fiber/laxative/prune juice/mom; I'm bleeding from my rectum; most likely internal hemorrhoids from straining too hard; my hair is gone everywhere on my body except a few scant eyelashes; I have pain in my chest from the tissue expanders; I have no feeling in the skin where my breasts were; I have no sex life with my partner because it hurts too bad for penetration; I cry all the time; I throw pity parties every night while I'm alone in bed; I am mad at everyone who shares their horror stories of people they used to know who died from their cancer; I hate that all of my thoughts are consumed by my diagnosis and treatment; I hate wearing itchy wigs; I want to go swimming at the beach but I'm too embarrassed about my bald head; I look like Uncle Fester from the Addams Family; I can't exercise because I'm anemic and short of breath; I have no more muscle tone in my body; I don't want to die yet because I have 3 grandchildren that I want to spend more time with; CANCER SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Flatsy, rage away... hugs to you. C sucks even more so with the losses magnifying the pain.
This group provides support and solace especially when we are tired of being 'strong' 'adult' and responsible.
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My heart bleeds
my heart bleeds for what was before
the wonderful things I knew
my heart bleeds
the things that will never be again
my heart bleeds
sassy 2015
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Listen folks this new campaign of health lifestyles just rips me apart. Go to Pintober revolution and work out how we can tear who-whomever started this shit.
https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/102/topic/791442?page=69#idx_2041
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thanks to all it helps to be able to scream and not be judged and you all understand the world I now live in trying to survive 2 yrs to go until 5. Whatever that is worth I plan on being around to see what new world I can create.
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Greytmph2,
I had to reread your post a few times. I cant absorb the insanely unsupportive environment you live in.
Did you BF really say bald, flat-chested GF ? He wants you to decide what...how your're going to maim him?
Tell you family that you expect to use up every cent you have ,pawn off your stuff and the leave debt behind. There will be no will or attorney . You will leave everything in turmoil that will take years for them to sort out. Say it smiling and they wont know what to think.
When people tell me the horrid details of other peoples cancers,I look them straight in the eye and say " I'm sure you would not say this things if you knew how frighten, hurtful and painful it is for me to listen to these types of stories. " I then step back and wait for a reaction . I usually get this look 00
Its not possible that you've been told that you have nothing to lose. I don't doubt you, I just cant wrap my head around those words.
Well considering that 550,000 Americans are diagnosed with cancer every year they just may get the chance to see for themselves if "it isn't that bad".
Now I am
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Grey, I hope your 'bf' isn't part of your life for much longer. That's BS and ticks me off. Your family too. WTF? I think RaiderGirl had the perfect suggestion. You could donate it all to a breast cancer organization lol That'd really get their goat
So sorry you are dealing with such negativity. Bothers me to hear stories like yours. Anyway you can distance yourself? You don't need that right now.
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Flatsy and Grey so sorry to hear of your additional losses on top of this bc. I too have had to deal with a daughter who has turned her back on me and her father. It is too cruel she emailed me saying you reap what you sow. Luckily I have the support of DH and have made many friends who have made my life so much better. Did you know that we cancer patients make the best friends to each other. (((HUGS)))
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Grey, you don't deserve to be treated like this. Not now and not ever. Tell them all to go F*&k themselves and most especially your so called boyfriend. Shame on him You are a human being and you need support. Please call a counselor and if you are uninsured, tell them you need support and ask for a free fee or sliding scale. Most clinics have this. Call 211 Infoline and ask for support services. The American Cancer Society can also hook you up with support. Huge hugs and know that you NEVER deserved any of this. Not the cancer and not those evil a$$holes that are making your life hell. I also agree with Raidergirl. Tell those vultures you are leaving everything you have to charity. And then DO IT! xo
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Grey, I to hope your BF is not around much longer either. Mine said we would work it out and then after 2 of 16 chemo's he moved out not able to deal with how sick I was weak man he is. He tried to be my friend but once the sex stopped and I had my reconstruction removed (hated it) I too had really bad scars as we all do, he could not even look at me so that was the end of it. I let him know when my daughter died and he could not even come to support me at the service. VERY WEAK PERSON he is. We are better off without that kind of person in our lives we have much bigger thing to deal with for now. I'm in the middle of haveing my whole chest tattooed to have pretty flower to view in the mirror and not scars, it is my way of recovery. And do not leave anything to anyone enjoy and donate to a good cause is a great idea. I agree that we cancer patients make the best friends since we understand what we have been through. I hope your journey gets easier and remove yourself from the negative. Thanks for HUGS
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