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STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER

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  • beesie.is.out-of-office
    beesie.is.out-of-office Member Posts: 1,435

    ctmbsikia, sometimes things can just feel overwhelming. I know the feeling

    Do what you can, and be kind to yourself. I'm sure that's what your husband would want for you.

    Sending cyber (((hugs))).

  • ctmbsikia
    ctmbsikia Member Posts: 776

    I almost spit nails through the phone when the landlords' girlfriend called about the water bill. Once again, I just paid my rent amount for June since the water bill I finally got did not match up with the last 2 months amounts that THEY told me to pay. They get a copy so why are the amounts different? I'll tell you why, because they are stupid people. I don't know if it was here or some other forum I spouted off about the conversation I had with her 2 months ago. This is their issue, yet they continually blame others and treat their tenants like 2nd rate citizens, and I for one, just won't stand for it. I was nice today since I was in the Hallmark store buying a candle so I could go home and RELAX!!!!!! I just wanted to spit though because the end result is I overpaid due to their dumbness!!!

  • aram
    aram Member Posts: 320

    I just found out my cousin has BRCA1 mutation. I always suspected it because of number of cancers in the family in young ages. I asked my doctor 4 years ago to get tested, he agreed but the genetic testing center didn't consider my case high risk because of the family size. Now 4 years later I have cancer and I have been approved to have the test. I am going for my test on Wednesday but hearing the news makes me think my test is most probably positive. I can't shake the thought that I should have gone to a private clinic 4 years ago. I wish I would have.

    Right now I am kind of numb. Although I always suspected it but I guess on some unconscious level I always had some hope that it is not the case. Now that hope has vanished.

  • bcincolorado
    bcincolorado Member Posts: 4,758

    Hugs to both of you.

  • moderators
    moderators Posts: 8,788

    ((((((Aram)))))) to you and your cousin. We are sorry to hear this. Glad you are speaking up and out about it. It may help others. We're here for you!


  • aram
    aram Member Posts: 320

    Thank you

  • Aram: if i could change the world I would have it that everyone would stay healthy and then just drop dead at some point in their life. If that wasn't possible ( and it isn't since I'm not in charge) I would get everyone the care they need. FREE. There is a shit ton of money in this world but the majority of it is held by a few.

  • PS apparently the lump on my neck is possibly a lipoma. Now i have to have a ct of the neck. I have a chest ct scheduled in July but that doesn't show the neck so on to a separate scan. I swear i am sick of doctors and tests.

  • alicebastable
    alicebastable Member Posts: 1,962

    KIDI919

    I was scheduled in December for a scan of my abdomen in June (right before my 6-month check-up) by the urologist who removed my kidney. I saw my oncologist in May for my regular breast follow-up, and she wanted a chest CT to keep an eye on my lung nodules. Her nice staff were able to get the chest CT added on to the abdomen one that was already scheduled. Maybe you could check into that?

    I had a neck lipoma removed five years ago. I had a CT years before when it first appeared. My PC couldn't figure out what it was so he sent me to an endocrinologist AFTER I had the scan, and that bird-brain doctor didn't know, either. It got huge, to the point I looked like a bullfrog. I finally saw an ENT, who knew what it was right away and scheduled the surgery. It was so simple; just in the hospital for the morning. I did have to have full anesthesia instead of the lightweight kind because it was pretty close to the jugular and he needed me to be paralyzed for it. That sucker was the size of an egg!

  • AliceB I am going to try to get both done on the same day. Nurse from onco office said lipoma of the neck is not unusual. My grand daughter likes to watch dr pimple popper... she said don't try to do surgery on yourself grama.

  • stacy91965
    stacy91965 Member Posts: 18

    I AM MAD. Every freakin time i have a hot flash i am reminded i had cancer. I am MAD that the AI has affected my sex life... i hate that my husband is overly aware of the side effects (he is a nurse). I WANT MY SEX LIFE BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • spookiesmom
    spookiesmom Member Posts: 8,178

    Do a search for I Want My Mojo Back. Maybe the ladies there can help you.

  • moderators
    moderators Posts: 8,788

    stacy91965, here's the Mojo thread Spookiesmom mentions: https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/150/topic...

    We hope you make some connections and find support and advice there!

    --The Mods

  • alicebastable
    alicebastable Member Posts: 1,962

    KIDI919

    From what the ENT said, lipomas on the back of the neck are common. Mine was nestled under my jaw in the front just a little to one side, which apparently is a weird location.

  • Well after many phone calls back and forth with 2 doctors i will have the ct of the chest and then if it doesn't show the clavicle i will have a different ct 4 primary. Primary nurse was typing her notes as we spoke and was going to inform pcp that i was refusing ct of the clavicle. I tried to explain that no i wasn't.......I just want someone to tell me if one ct will cover the clavicle and chest. I feel like the clavicle IS part of the chest. I am trying to compromise without being radiated a zillion times. UGH!!

  • Stacy91965, i think there is a discussion board for sexual problems. Husband told me 4 years ago he was done with that whether I was or not. Thanks alot asshole.

  • alicebastable
    alicebastable Member Posts: 1,962

    KIDI919

    I think chest CTs start at the top of the lungs. I have a few lumps I was hoping would be included on mine (mid-neck and upper arm) but nope. At least with the PET scan, it will be base of skull to mid-thigh. Can you get an ultrasound instead?

  • ctmbsikia
    ctmbsikia Member Posts: 776

    Good luck tomorrow Alice. Winking

    I'm over due for low dose CT lung screening. Haven't made up my mind if I should call and get an order for one before my next MO appt. or just go see him next month and get it then. Have to do a follow up breast MRI next month too. YUCK! Could do 2 tests same day. And labs. And see the GP end of next month. I really want out of this protocol. My back hurts today. I just paid another $450 to these medical professionals! Currently around $2500 spent, another thousand to go to reach my deductible for the year!

    Anyway, if it wasn't for all the knowledge and support I've gotten from here, I would have quit a long time ago. Like right after radiation.! If by sticking it out and facing my white coat fears helps others with this disease, then I'll keep doing it. I do want to turn in my bc tracking device card though! Have a nice night all!

  • alicebastable
    alicebastable Member Posts: 1,962

    Thanks, ctmbsikia. I got a call a little while ago that makes the location confusing, so I better show up REALLY early in case I'm in the wrong building.

    I haven't had a breast MRI since all the diagnostic tests three years ago. I'm glad, because that was the hardest thing I went through that year (except losing my mom), worse than the lumpectomy or having my kidney removed. Good luck on yours!

  • bcincolorado
    bcincolorado Member Posts: 4,758

    Get an email notice my order for my mamo is in from MO and to call a number. Then it goes on to say because of COVID no one can be there. Sent them a message they need to CALL our house and husband has to be there since I cannot drive and have dementia and aphasia and speaking to people I do not know is very difficult for me. Now waiting for a call.. Have a feeling can't go until August but since had an issue on the last one worried about this one already......................

    Even with COVID last year they allowed him there.

  • bcincolorad : I don't know where you live but in Buffalo a person is allowed in with you if you need assistance. Was recently at an appt there were 2 people who had someone with them

    Alicebastab:I had an US of the lump this month, will get a chest ct next month and an U/S and mamo in Aug. Will see primary in Sept so if I don't have the info he wants by then I will agree to ct of the lump. What a busy social life I have. HA HANerdy

  • alicebastable
    alicebastable Member Posts: 1,962

    bcincolorado, they're allowing one person to accompany patients in St. Louis, too. It's pretty recent .

    KIDI919 Oh, do I get the social life thing! I knew I'd been cooped up too long when I started over-planning what to wear to scans and appointments, and not for the non-metallic rules.

  • bcincolorado
    bcincolorado Member Posts: 4,758

    Thanks. Will have husband call to get me scheduled for my follow up. Know there a suspicious area last time around. They read while I am there and had me do ultra sound right away and made notes to check it this time. They are the ones who caught my cancer on my other side. Even my breast surgeon said because of my dense tissues it was great they caught it since a lot of people would have missed it I guess.

  • 2019whatayear
    2019whatayear Member Posts: 468

    Umm for whoever was asking the clavicle is included in chest CT.

    I really hate how regular life disappointments, like not getting a job I interviewed for, are now a bigger blow to me and my self-esteem now that I have had cancer. Like all the little bad things suck more. I'm not doing a great job explaining but maybe some of you get what I mean.

  • betrayal
    betrayal Member Posts: 3,748

    2019whatayear: I hear you but want to say, as an optimist, perhaps the reason you did not get the job you interviewed for was that it wasn't a good fit for you. My DD has expressed the same feelings and as I told her, it was because the job that she really wanted was just on the horizon. It was and she later learned the job she didn't get turned out to be one with a job description that was nebulous and changed according to the quirks of the bosses. I acknowledge your disappointment, but I firmly believe your dream job is on the near horizon.


  • alicebastable
    alicebastable Member Posts: 1,962

    2019whatayear

    I think the scans vary depending on how the doctor orders them. The PET scan I had today said "full body" but it was written in the instructions "base of skull to mid-thigh." The PET scan for the other woman there also said "full body" but they told her it would be top of head to mid-thigh. I looked up the one I had two years ago, and it was also "full body" but that one was top of head to feet.

  • runor
    runor Member Posts: 1,615

    What is going on? My Facebook is suddenly full of ads about cancer treatment and cancer trials and all the pictures of these women. These perfect looking smiling women. With their bright white teeth and smiling faces, perfect lipstick and painted nails. Bright complexions and well coiffed hair. This is how it looks to have breast cancer? Like maybe you've been nominated for some award that you weren't expecting and are demurely accepting your prize, "oh dear me, I am just flushed with honour and so flattered.." (fluttering of eyelashes.) I don't know who those women are. And to my mind they sure as shit DO NOT portray the reality of being told you have breast cancer.

    If I made a breast cancer ad it would look a lot different. A woman, slack jawed and hollow eyed, from lack of sleep, would appear. She is not smiling. She has nothing to smile about, she is scared to death. Her mind and soul have gone to dark places waiting for test results, wondering what treatment is going to do to her. Her clothes are rumpled, maybe her shirt is buttoned wrong and her house is a disaster because she really can't focus on much else. If she has, the exertion of it has given her a headache so she has a bottle of aspirin in one hand. In the other she has a bill from her lawyer because she felt it prudent to get her affairs in order, wrote her will and has received the bill from the legal beagle before a treatment plan. We wait for medical news but our lawyers are lightning fast with bills! She is pictured sitting in a park and around her friends meet and kids play but her eyes are glazed and far away because she feels yanked out of her old life and now an alien in her own surroundings, she feels cut off from everyone and everything who act normal while she thinks about dying.  She is at a table with food she cannot eat. She is in bed and her eyes are wide open. Her nails are not painted, they are chewed to the quick. THAT is what cancer looks like in real life and these fucking MADE UP ads that make it look like it's No Big Deal are insulting as hell. Misleading. As if breast cancer is just another day in the life. WRONG! It is the day your life took such a violent shove off course that you are in a whole other universe. 

    If anyone managed to be the smiling picture of beatific peace and composure that these women are, well good for you, you have attained a level of evolved spirituality that I cannot hope to reach. But the rest of us, if we find these ads off putting and insultingly glamourized, well, join the club. Who the hell do they hire to write these  ads and what are they attempting to tell the public? Rant over. 

  • 2019whatayear
    2019whatayear Member Posts: 468

    When I had a PET scan the tech said it would cover from my eyes to my thighs. SmileI was only talking about a standard chest CT which includes the clavicles so if KID's concern is on the clavicle then it will show.

    Betrayal. thanks I think my dream job at this point would honestly be doing lunch and recess monitoring at one of the local elementary schools--and that is not what I interviewed for recently so I should look into being a lunch lady. What would have horrified me as a job when I was 24 now sounds like the best job (next to be a PT position at my library--which I looked into but am not qualified for as I don't have 2 years of experience working in a library or a degree in library sciences and honestly I don't think I could manage going back to school at this point in life--my ability to process info has been stimied by chemo.

    Runor- WHO who, are the ads for? You either need Ibrance or you don't. Are there like well-meaning family members calling and saying Hey Grandma, I was just scrolling FB and I saw an ad for a lady who was opening a yarn shop and it looks like there is a drug for your stage 4 cancer call Ibrance? Have you checked it out? Looks like you'll be cured if you take that. AND also I hate when the same ads say "don't take if you are pregnant or planning to become pregnant.

  • bcincolorado
    bcincolorado Member Posts: 4,758

    One more reason I refuse to "be social" and go on Facebook. This is as social as I get here. Write letters. Have a rotary dial telephone too by the way. No I am not ancient. I'm 60. Feel like 80 at this point.................

  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 5,343

    I must say I agree with you all on the drug commercials, despite the fact that no one would ever know I was stage IV. I feel like their ads are aimed at those newly dx’ed stage IV to give them hope. While that’s not a bad thing, I think the casual viewer probably doesn’t see it through the eyes of those who live it and it causes them to believe that most folks can live normal lives at stage IV which is not the reality for most. And although none of these commercials claim to be a cure, they are very careful not to even imply that, I think many may reach that conclusion. I seriously wish we could go back to the days when pharmaceuticals were not pitched on TV