STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER
Comments
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Aprilgirl "I try to focus on now so I don't get too far on a "hamster wheel" of doom/what next." This is exactly how I feel. I'm not disregarding or ignoring what the future may hold for me; I'm just doing what I can, for now. MOSTLY - I'm staying in the now and limiting how much I research and agonize about what comes next
I'm sure it helps that my cancer is under control, for now - which gave me time to address other non- cancer- related health issues. Yay, more appointments!
NotAsCalmAsILook - your screen name says it all. Love it.
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SeeQ and April,
For me, focusing on the present and what I know to be true at this time has been my greatest coping mechanism. Yes, my mind does wander to the “what if’s “ every now and then but I know there is no point in speculating on the unknown and a future that can’t be seen. I would surely have driven myself over the edge if I kept focusing on a future that none of us can see. Take care.
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2 hours ago Moderators wrote:
Dear Members,
Due to the extreme contentious nature of the topic of vaccines, we are requesting that your conversation steer back to addressing members' other issues that also need attention. We appreciate your understanding and attention to this request.
The Mods
Thanks, Mods. Now if people will only LISTEN.
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I think perhaps the mods need to update the rules here. Edit rule 2 & 4 and create a rule 8 (or add to rule 7) to list topics that you you aren't allowed to rant about or what we are allowed to rant about.
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Why don't you just ask them to lock the thread? Geez. It's over, done, the last few posts ( an hour AGO) must have been been missed as they CLEARLY went back on topic as the moderators requested.
Quit complaining and get back to ranting. Thanks much.
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I'm cleaning a kitchen cupboard:
Why aren't food leftover containers made to nest nicely? my cupboard of food saver containers is a perennial jumble of things - I mostly use glass and because they don't nest, they slip and crack and then I have to replace.
Why, why, why? Are they designed to be easily broken so I have to buy new ones?
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I do not post very much. I do read. I know that the moderators have asked the Covid discussion to move elsewhere and that is fine. However, the moderators should know that for some of us, our breast cancer "experience" has been oh so much rougher because of Covid. I was diagnosed with metastatic cancer five years ago. I hope for a few (or many) more years, but I have been through nine treatments and only two have worked. When Covid was just being figured out and the hospitals were surging with patients, my oncology practice took those of us with low wbc caused by cancer drugs OFF of those drugs because they believed the risk of being hospitalized during the pandemic was greater than the benefit of the drugs. For me that meant going off a drug that was working and experiencing progression in my cancer. In addition, I feel robbed of time with my family and friends. I wonder when I will be able to volunteer in-person, travel, go out for an indoor anniversary dinner with my partner or even just meet new people easily and without Covid/vaccination worries. I worry that if I or anyone in my family is hospitalized, I won't be able to visit them because of Covid. Although vaccinated, I am not sure how well the vaccine worked for me because I am immune-compromised, so I also worry about dying alone on a ventilator in a hospital.
Prior to Covid, I had a fairly positive and cheerful attitude about all the side effects and significant limitations I experience from my cancer. Unfortunately, I have never been so sad, lonely or discouraged as I am right now. When I read angry but scientifically informed comments about the need for vaccination in this forum, it makes me feel so much better. I do not feel alone in my incredulity at the lack of gratitude people have for a life-saving, scientifically vetted and economy-restoring vaccine. No, vaccination is not perfect (95% effectiveness, not 100%), but clearly it helps a lot because the vast majority of people in the hospital right now are not vaccinated. There is so much more to say about the "science" of Covid, which of course will change over time as we learn more about different variants.
This comment is not a personal attack on anyone. It is simply how I feel and I appreciate that others feel differently. However, moderators, please know that for me at least, stage four breast cancer with Covid is completely different than stage four breast cancer without Covid. I am overwhelmed with sadness that my world has to be so small and so limited and that this probably won't change anytime soon. This is my lived experience of breast cancer. The political is personal.
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Not as calm - I agree with you, it does get very tiring. I do remember telling my doctor that he was poisoning me, he just nodded and said yeah. Some side effects just seem to stick with you forever, just in case you may forget what you went through.
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Latte123 - I'm so sorry about your progression. I have a difficult time separating cancer from COVID. I'm reminded every time I go to my medical appointments which are much more frequent than when I was stage III.
NotAsCalm, mistyeyes - When I first met my MO and diagnosed as stage III, he warned me that my treatment would be hard and I'd hate him. It was hard. I didn't hate him. I worked the side effects the best I could.
moth - I have a set of nesting glass bowls from Canadian Tire. There are 4 different sizes, but they designed them so that 3 of the bowls have the same size lid. Magic!
My last COVID check-in for my Xgeva shot, the receptionist asked the usual exposure questions. No, no, no. Then she asked, "So, you're in good health?" I was too stunned except to nod.
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Wrenn,
Who gets to decide to delay your annual breast exam? That sounds dangerous. It it your province that allocates care or did you personally decide it wasn't worth the risk, given Covid? What is happening for the "unlucky ones"? Sometimes Canadian women bash the US system but I think there are pros and cons with each system. Hope that you soon will be able to get the care that you need.
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moth - Hope I didn't get your hopes up about the bowls. I can't find any online that would be similar. Now I'm going to be extra careful with them.
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I am going to weigh in on the hot topic of food storage containers. Both of my daughters and myself switched to glass storage containers years ago. We all live close to each other (😢 older dd is moving almost 2 hours away in October) and over the years of family dinners, celebrations, etc. We have sent or taken home leftovers in said containers. All three households now have a jumble of containers and lids, some not fitting anythingand some that look unfamiliar to all of us😂! I personally found two lids in my cupboard that don’t fit any of my containers. Frustrating but in perspective, simply a minor annoyance.
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I agree with Wrenn, that if the issue currently on the table is covid and how we feel about it and how it affects us, then we should be free to say what we need/want to say. My main contention is that I am opposed to FORCE and govt editing of inconvenient voices. I would be mortified beyond words to find the very same behaviour here. This thread, despite the current topic, remains a place where anyone can say anything they need to rant, rave and holler into the wind about. Whether heavy handed or soft gloved, the free flow and feeling of open availability is tainted when 'handlers' move in to tell us we must play nice. I think we have played nice. Not on the same team, but nice.
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exbrmxgrl - My older daughter is moving 1 1/2 hours away next week. 😢 She's just moving closer to downtown and not too far from my hospital. It's a "bougie" area. She was ready to move out last year. Then lockdowns.
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runor,
In theory I agree with you and I don’t think anyone was too rough on others despite the hot button topic. About six months ago I was kicked off of a knitting forum. The stated craft, knitting and crocheting was the main topic. Also like bco there are threads on numerous other topics. For a fairly long period of time members expressed their opinions on non-knitting topics without any limits or moderation. It went from slightly contentious to truly disgusting. I won’t go into details but let’s just say some folks sought personal info on those they disagreed with and it wasn’t to send them greeting cards. I complained to admin on the forum, privately as well as publicly because I simply couldn’t understand how they could just sit back and let things descend into gross incivility. Admin simply replied that we were all adults and should behave as such and then shortly after disabled my account. I don’t regret any of my comments which were polite and respectful. I also mentioned bco which is for the most part well moderated. What did upset me is that left to their own devices these so called adults degenerated into their worst selves. Sometimes, though I wish it wasn’t so, boundaries will need to be imposed .
PS: The forum was not Ravelry, which is my avatar (their old logo, now changed)
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we solve the leftover containers issue by ordering out from restaurants whose take out containers are reusable. We use them till they break, or stain, or both. We send them home with the kids (who live close) , we pack lunches for work, send snacks to the neighbors, etc. and don't worry if they don't make it back. Ordering from the same few places mean we have some uniformly sized containers and lids (plus we don't have to cook!). it is a privilege to be able to afford this strategy.
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SerenitySTAT, lol, ok so I can stop looking on the Cnd Tire website... (their online store really sucks anyway)
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Serenity, She is not sure what happened. She had 1st dose, then 2nd and then within a week and a half developed covid.(mybrother brought it home from work) Ended up in the hospital for a week. Her oncologist stopped her chemo while she was sick. When she got out of hospital she started chemo again. So no one knows what caused the horrible rash all over the trunk of her body, to the point wear her skin was blistering. Rash is getting better with tx but now her hair is falling out. She is scheduled for a bone biopsy in Sept. If it is good she can stop chemo in Dec. So we are keeping our fingers crossed. She is planning on a 3rd dose but I'm not sure when. I'm nervous for her.
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Exbrnx- you got kicked off a knitting forum?! How is that even possible? I pictured you doing something dastardly like running with knitting needles, which ranks right up there with running with scissors and other such loose cannon behaviours. I shake my head over you being booted unless everyone who partook of the knitting knife-fight was equally booted. But who am I to talk. I got booted off a chicken forum once. No one runs with chickens. I don't think anyone has posted private threats, have they? At least I haven't received any and if anyone would, it would be me. I think despite our differences at the end of the day what unites us (cancer and the misery it brings) is stronger than what divides us. I hope.
AliceB - I think it was you who asked where I (or people holding my position) might be getting our information and why I don't post supporting documents. That is a solid question that I think is worth answering. Since this started I have been online following several 'minds' and the ongoing discussion they have over current topics and guest interviews. So I am not seeking out hard copy data as much as listening to other people hash out what that data might mean. Statistics are a slippery fish! Fine print matters. Missing context leads people to incorrect or incomplete understanding. My list contains minds that are on opposite sides of this debate. In order to round out my views and give myself the most information, I want to know how ALL sides are thinking / feeling about the issue. So I listen to those who routinely are not of my ethical stripe. Sometimes I shake my head and say no, I can't buy this. But other times I think, you know, he has a point and that is a way to see this that I had not thought of before. So I cannot give you hard paper evidence. I can only tell you that for a year and a half I have frequented these sites (and several others but mainly these) because I found them intelligent, measured, fair, rational, amusing and thought provoking. I am not posting my list so someone can kick the stuffing out of it. Or cherry pick the ones they like and denigrate those they consider quacks. Like I said, this list contradicts itself, but I want my mind tugged at and not spoon fed only what I want to hear. I find that tug of war in this list. This list is not complete but these are the regularly listened to.Triggernometry
Dr. Suneel Dhand
Dr. John Campbell
Dr. Scott Jensen
ZdoggMD
Darkhorse
UnHerd Lockdown TV
Lex Fridman
Rubin Report
Joe Rogan (until he left youtube and went to Spotify)0 -
Notascalm we do that in our house too. I have butter tubs and freeze leftovers in them. Works fine. We call it our "good Tupperwear".
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We never ate out much because my husband is a pretty good cook. He's found a local meat guy for deliveries. Good but pricey.
However the pandemic made us support our local ice cream shop. We have an embarrassing number of ice cream containers that I'm reusing for leftovers or anything else. The shop also gives out those coupons for a free scoop after so many purchases. When we went to get our free scoops, my daughter handed the coupons to the cashier. Her response was "These are all yours?"
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runor,
I know, crazy isn't it? I don't swear or name call and though I have some strong opinions I try to be civil. I think admin on that site just didn't take my criticism well. It was vicious at one point. People were posting members addresses, finding and posting pictures of families, digging up public records, etc. Who would have thought that a bunch of knitters could be so vicious? TBH, it bothered me for about an hour and after that I realized that although there were some lovely members and super experienced knitters the overall feel was elderly. Now I'm a senior citizen myself but I'm quite forward looking. Too many there spent a lot of time looking toward the past, their hey day, and complaining about the present and young people. It's as if someone promised them life would never change. Ah well. I may take one of my smallest sized needles, thin and very sharp since I prefer stainless steel, and run around just for goofy fun
PS: Hiw did you get kicked off of a chicken forum? Did you put too many eggs in one basket ? (sorry, bad attempt at humor 😉).
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moth - Oops! ☹️
KIDI - I had a rash, but not like hers. I already had a rash from a bug bite and taking Ibrance (which has rash as a side effect). Then I got Moderna. Rash got worse immediately, better when I stopped Ibrance, and worse when I restarted. I was diagnosed with AGEP, a drug induced skin reaction. Without Ibrance the second dose was pretty much fine except for a few spots that went away after applying cream. Hope all goes well with the biopsy and third dose.
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Wrenn,
Thanks for clarifying your situation. I wish you all the best.
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Exbrnx, all my eggs in one basket, good one.
I got booted over my dog getting kicked in the head by a horse. The dog is an idiot. The dog knows better. The dog had been told to stay away from horses. But one day one of the horses was, well, horsing around, kicking and bucking for sheer glee when the idiot dog goes running in to get in on the play and CLONK! takes a hoof to the head. The horse was not kicking at the dog. The dog literally ran into the swinging feet of the horse. God, it was awful. Sounded like two coconuts being smashed together. Freaked the horse out, who in no way was expecting a dog to show up in the middle of everything. Dog let out a yelp, ran out of the pen, very quickly lost all sense of direction, collapsed and convulsed for a while. I stood there thinking, holy shit my dog is going to die!
Now, I know for some people their pets are their life and attain people status and no expense is too much to save a life. That is not our stance on dogs. We love and spoil our dogs and when there is obvious steps we can take to save them, we do. We do not skimp on vets. We have HORSES and have spent so much money on vets it would make your eyes bug out. But the dog had no outward lacerations or injuries. Whatever was going on was going on inside his skull. It was the Sunday of a long weekend. We've had the vet come out on long weekends for horses and you pay a serious premium for that. Aside from drilling a hole in the dog's head to relieve pressure, which I think carries its own risks, I couldn't imagine there was much a vet could do other than say, well your dog has a serious concussion, keep an eye on him, if he lives he lives and if he dies, he dies. So I did not call a vet.
After a few minutes the dog staggered to his feet and wobbled off in some cockeyed direction. I grabbed him and guided him slowly to the house and his bed and the next day he was his old self, no worse for wear but never again ran into the flailing hooves of an exuberant horse. I posted this story on my forum. I was called out by someone who has no kids and her dogs are her life and could not say enough bad things about me. So I told her to kiss my hairy ass. I got booted. Everyone got a shit kicking that week!0 -
Not to say this was directed at me, but I will tell you I have been on this site for over two years. I have never once reported anyone or anything to the moderators. They are awesome, and I'm sure they pop into threads periodically to see what is being said. Of course, if I knew it was a spammer or something like that, I may report it, but I haven't noticed that or done that.
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KBL,
There were periods of time, over the last 10 years, when there were some substantial spam attacks. I know that most of us have no trouble reporting those. Thankfully, it's been quite a while since we've seen that. I did report a member who told me to take my single bone met and shove it up my a** (she typed the letters out, no stars!). I think this post deserved to be reported and removed and it was.This is not a common occurrence as the mods are quite on top of it. Reporting fellow members is not something I take pleasure in but it’s sometimes necessary.
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I've been on these boards since 2009 and there have been some doozies. Far and between but OMG. You just can't imagine.
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Oh, I just remembered I was handed a short ban on bco many years ago. I mentioned the real name, first and last, of a member who had recently passed away. The reporter/s claimed that not only was I violating her privacy but I was upsetting them. The problem was, the late member had mentioned her own real name and often posted links to her personal blog. Once I explained this to the mods and they verified that what I said was true, I was fully restored to bco membership.
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I've only reported on here if it's obvious spam, like some snake oil sales crap. I'd never report anyone for just a difference of opinion when it's so much easier to ignore them if it goes into a stalemate. Or just keep arguing. 😄
My family has gotten addicted to a local Thai restaurant's food, and since we still only do carry-out, the bonus is their fabulous reusable containers.
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