STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER
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I would like to rant about the nonsupport I got from my husband. I guess I have a high pain threshold or something but I had no pain after the MX, but because I had lymph nodes removed I wasn't supposed to do any heavy lifting etc. for awhile. About a week after the surgery I asked him to vacuum because I couldn't stand it anymore. He said, "Why? It looks fine." Until I told him I would do it using the opposite arm, he wasn't going to, but relented and vacuumed.....once.
I also am so sick of people that say, "Well, now you're done with treatment so you're cured". The only person that truly knows how it feels to have Cancer hanging over your head is a friend who has anal/colon cancer. Whenever we write each other we sign it:
Stay cured!! (like we have the ability to control that) and yeah...right here I'm including my own eye-roll.
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I saw my eye-rolling co-worker yesterday (the one I referred to in my post). She was so sweet and jovial. Made me sick because her earlier eye-rolling spoke the truth. I ignored her. I have NO TIME for people like that.
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My rant for the day, going to a forum and seeing women being mean spirited and posting bashing comments to each other. I see this happen particularly on forums where somebody has an inflammation on their breast, or is worried because they are young, and then "experts" come in and minimize the persons fear. wtf is that about? Anybody who is scared should be able to come here and voice their fear, and not be patronized by another member just because they have no diagnosis yet. If I had read some of the posts I have seen when I first came here, I would never have come back to this forum.
What is it with mean spirited people? If you can't say something nice, just don't post
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I had my steam and rant monument this morning with the Specialty Pharmacy of my health insurance. I had to call to approve the charge for the Botox inj. For my migraines.
The lady started this run around that first they would have to review my benefits, but that probably wouldn't happen until next week. I' ve been on this for 9 months, can't see why this would need to be done this time....bla blah, have to make sure about your deductible and copayment etc. I told her I had met all. Have chemo Jan.2! Had met my out of pocket.,put me on hold 3 times.....I asked for the supervisor...got my husband on the other phone...he is the company owner...nothing has changed.,lady came back on the line. I told her I had Stage 4 metastatic cancer and she's had just wasted 37 minutes of my Life!
Guess what, she talked to Supervisor and all taken care of. I was so pissed.
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Go Beatmom Excellent, she will probably lose sleep. YAY
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Italy, I agree with the mean spirited comments. You can give a different point of view without bashing anyone. Everyone and their cancer is so different, there isn't one correct path to follow.
Beatmom. GRRR! I hate when insurance cos play that game. I found out that my insurance company has a division who only deal with cancer patients and our treatments. It's made things so much easier, but wouldn't have helped in your situation.
I'm pretty pissed. Before my diagnosis, I had a knee injury. This injury was put on the back burner to deal with the BC. Now I'm back working on the knee injury. The orthopedist wanted to put me on a particular anti-inflammatory; the insurance rejected it and wants a different med. Finally my ortho put me on the other med, plus Prilosec because the other med can cause digestive issues. Well, I had extremely painful gi symptoms for 5 days. I landed in the urgent care, where they ran all sorts of tests and scans to rule out kidney stones, appendicitis, aneurisms, and so on. All of these tests were much more expensive than the original darn med.... Not to mention that I was in so much pain I was curled up in a ball unable to speak! Why are insurance cos over ruling doctors????
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Doggone insurance! That gets me steaming mad quicker than anything. My MO always orders the latest & greatest anti-nausea meds with chemo. My ins co said no, they won't cover them. Have to try Zofran and Compazine first, see if they work well enough. They did, but sheesh! Seemed so stupid since they do pay for the insanely expensive Neulasta!
You just never know what they will cover or deny. Grrrrrrr
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PoppyK - so sorry you are going through this crapola. I'm seeing ortho because I fell and broke my wrist and endocrinologist because my bone density scans came back wonky. Prilosec has saved me this last year, but now endo ordering me off it because evidence it contributes to bone loss. Great! Another quality of life issue! My insurance co. Called last week because my spending shot up with adding two new specialists. Like I really want this? Had to convince them I was being a good little cancer patient when I really wanted to tell them to shove it! I feel like I have to kiss up because they have my life in their hands. They take advantage of us when we are at our most vulnerable. Hope you are feeling better. Linda
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These posts have made me laugh and cry, which are great stress relievers!
My rant for today is family members (like my mother) who downplay my symptoms or side effects, unless she hears the same thing from some acquaintance, then and only then do i get any validation from her! Sigh
Also, she won't accept that my osteoarthritis is so debilitating and that i cant possibly feel as bad as she does! I told her try being only 48 and feeling like 85.
Cancer treatment has ruined my quality of life and I'm mad as hell about it!
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FUCK CANCER(^$#$%&())O(TR%EWWQWRY*UIUYT
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Can I get an AMEN?!
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AMEN!!
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Amen!!!
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AMEN!!!!
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I Would also like to rant about some of the women on the different groups who answer womens questions who are just scared and talked down from panic. I just don't understand why or how they get so pissed off at these people for thinking they might have what they do. Isnt that where we all were at some point in our lives to get us to diagnosis. Im not saying that there isnt crazy people out there but even those people deserve help. Wtf? Having cancer doesnt give you a bitch excuse pass!! My point is very very simple if upsets those certain people than they shouldnt respond to these people asking and begging for help.... I dont claim to know anything I just started this journey about a year ago but hey a im sorry you are feeling this way or good luck goes a long way than treating people like they are idiots.
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One more thing I usually only post to try to help someone if I can. Meaning like I said above and for some.reason that too I have gotten my head bit off for by some ladies at bco. Well they learned quick no I dont post much I am younger and newer but I will bite back much harder and will not tollerate watching anyone get mistreated. Chances are we have all been to hell and back already with cancer and still.going thru it so why it is so teritorial? I have seen some if the kindess people in my life and some of the worst. In the end we all have breast cancer right?
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Right! we all have/had cancer whether we are stage 0 or stage 4. Everyone of us needs support not mean people commenting on our posts. Remember how traumatized you were at diagnosis looking for any support and reason to hope things will be alright. Testing to determine if you have BC is also a distressing time. I try to give comfort to others and remember how much I needed help and support.
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I've seen some nastiness, too. It drives people away, doesn't help them. At some point, we were experiencing fear and stress that accompanies the testing and waiting.... still do at times.
We can report these posts, right?
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I Was blindsided with cancer diagnosis. Went to obgyn for abnormal bleeding and he sent me for mammogram. I had size A boobs was 37 2 weeks prior to 38 no lumps figured if i had one it would stand out like a breast on me. Had mammogram got called back - no big deal most do. Radiologist came got me n mom took us into room sat us down in fron of computer and said we think you have cancer its a birad 5 WHAT. I went home in shock. Dont ever go online ever found this site and it held my hand thru the biopsy diagnosis chemo and even now as I wait to for a spinal tap to see if I have spinal mets and brain membrane mets. I have never reached out for help I have just read others stories. So when I see someone reach out it take courage and I am so mad and pissed off
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HOws that for a rant and a life story all in one... Thanks for replying to what I said . The mods also emailed me saying they appologized for the way I was treated since it happened just recently
but I was fine it was this poor lady and all the others okay the dam horse is long dead thanks for listening... 0 -
DSW - YOU are brave for bringing this up! Please stay here and on the threads where you make a difference and can get and give support. We need you. Dammit. Linda
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hi DsW2076, I just read your story, and I'm so sorry you are going through this. I, too, am new here and it's a fairly new concept for me to reach out this way for advice, but I've found some really compassionateand intelligent ladies here in the past couple of weeks. I hope you stick around. And super duper extra big hugs to you.
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You know what I think I may actually for the first time step out of my comfort zone and do it. I have already reached out to a few ladies just to say they good luck on other threads so I may be turning a new leaf. Im not what people would say a social butterfly. Yet I am not affraid to open my mouth at the same time. Thanks for the support I can't tell you what it means to me. I may sound cheezy but it does mean alot. Glad i did.:)
Diane
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I love this Poppy!
"If I see anyone rolling their eyes about me, I call them on it. In front of anyone. I say in a voice loud enough for all who saw the eye roll to hear, "Why did you roll your eyes in response to my comment?" I want them to know I am aware. If you are tired of hearing about it, I'm even more tired of living with it."
Some 'friends' don't even ask how things are going or acknowledge my fight. Pisses me off a bit. Then to see them request prayers for, or share another's story or page...Not sure if I'm selfish for allowing this to bother me, but bother me it does.
I've also been very lucky thou with those who are standing with me, supporting me.
Hate to hear some of us are seeing/experiencing such negative reactions. One really finds out who people are during times like these, and where they fit into another's life.
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I Second that Simplicity ....Not only are we dealing with this disease and fighting but also dealing with those around us show there true colors on top of it. Some days its a bit much some days watch out hear me roar...
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It is sad what some women can say in this forum. One thread I particularly liked was 'Women 40 - 60"...since I'm 56. Arrrggghhhhhh! Rules, rules, rules. There is ONE woman that literally dictates what can and cannot be said in that thread. For example, you DO NOT mention the weather. Scoldy, scoldy, scoldy...that's what she says. I bailed.
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I've seen it too, on the not diagnosed but worried pages. It's really upsetting to see how bitch 2 in particular can be. I had a run in with one of them on a thread I started a while back about feeling envious of women with breasts. She made me feel like a fool for posting about it and almost ran me off.
I don't get it either, but you can block people you don't like so that may help.
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DSW i find it very hard to talk about breast cancer in real life, i love this forum because no one else can possibly understand all we have been through. Hugs to you and i hope you get some support here.
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Sugar, You mean support on the BCO threads in general. I see this thread as a place to come to rant and scream. Stick around for reaction. Then go find some nice threads. This anger is toxic. Spend to much time reading these posts, it'll rip you apart. This thread has been needed for along time. Lamblast whomever for the crap, but don't let the crap rule you.
I have a nice happy thread I'll link. Allot of folks read it first when logging in. I linked to page one. you can start where ever you want
https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/102/topic/818346?page=1
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So, How do we feel about being disrespected on the boards?
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