CRAZY TOWN WAITING ROOM - TESTS coming up? All Stages Welcome.
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hi everyone....I'm sitting in the BS waiting room. She is going to look at this swollen area on my sternum/chest wall. I have a feeling she's going say scan, but we will see.
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In your pocket, Tang! The waiting is so hard. I end up feeling like, "let's just talk about it already"!
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Rhey back from pt and got lots of complements from.them all there little tricks for me showed I improvement,
Yahoo, he is going to give me more stuff for home then the new plan is once a week and if pain,returns then chiro guy is there. I really .want a vacation this year.
Pm to ducky, she has some shit going but will post when she is able,
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Thanks for the update PTS, and
(((((Ducky))))
Octogirl
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To all SoCal Crazies, and any Crazies who like to travel: The SoCal BCO Crazytown get together is officially scheduled as a brunch meeting on Saturday, March 26th in the Riverside area....breakfast/brunch at 9:45 and will probably go for a while, other optional activities may follow. If you aren't already on my email list for this one and want details or would like to RSVP, send me your email address in a PM and I will send you all the details! Mark your calendars!
xoxo
Octogirl
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Hi crazies, I was hoping Ducky would have checked in by now. Jan, I hope you are getting over the flu! Last night I had pain on one side of my head plus I was off balance...so of course I am thinking...I need a brain scan! After two execedrin and sleep I feel much better.
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Don't forget the pictures of the gettogether! for those of us stuck at home.
Tangandchris: how'd the visit go? scan ordered?
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molly, remember years ago a dumb doc actually sent me for a brain scan after I reported having a round of vertigo
No brain tumor but years later my ent did tell me it could have been my dumb sinus stuff as the vertigo never returned
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You ladies are the best.....It never ends.....my son is in the hospital....I just got back......he is having surgery as I speak........this is the one who just was at CHOP with his 15 year old who they found out has type 1 Diabetes......not sure how much more my son can handle........stayed with him till they took him to surgery.........wanted to stay, but he literally said like the commercial.......MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!......So to keep him happy, I left when they wheeled him to the OR..........I am beside myself..........this is Michael....pray for him.....Thanks............0 -
((((DUCKY)))) we love you!!!!
I've been lurking crazies... hanging out at the tree house at the edge of CT... just feeling blah... waiting on doc to tell me if I'm in menopause or chemopause, looks like menopause according to the numbers on the report I got, and then to tell me which hormonal drug she wants me to start; Arimidex or Tamoxifen... UGH.. I know I've been over this ground before with you all. It's just got me over the top anxious. Another friend diagnosed this week. She was clear for 15 years, now recurrence, BMX, and AI... she didn't take Tamoxifen back in '99 and she is beating herself up over it, but she's still scared to take the AI even now...
Oh, and my friend, Glynn, is starting chemo this Wednesday. He met with his onc after they did all the scans and such... Stage VI!!!!! They found spots on his lungs, after only a month... I'm so sad for him... it's all a bit much today...
Katy, I need the giant sprinkles today!!!!
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jersey- Oreo sized sprinkles coming your way through the tube! Or maybe I'll just come up and hand deliver to the tree house! 🙋
I seem do be doing better on AI than Tamox, but everyone seems to react differently.
Here is a bit if the garden clean up. The pretty blue anenome will bloom every year at ths time to remind me what wonderful people there are in this world.
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oh Ducky! Your poor son. Hugs and healing thoughts going out to your son, his family and you.
(((Ducky)))
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Ducky- your son is very handsome. I'm not sure what kind of surgery he is having, I pray for him to have speedy recovering and healing. Hugs to you and your family.
Jersey- I'm sorry to hear about your friends reoccurrence. Our greatest fears. I will start my Armidex after I finish healing and get this drain out. Have you started?
Jackbirdie- love your yard!!💐💐💐my tulips and daffodils are up too.
Love to you all.
Still have my one drain. It is miserable. Drains 20 cc every damn 24 hrs. PS won't take it till its 5 cc
Patty
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My dear Ducky, Prayers for your son and you. So scary and worrisome. Your sisters here will gather round and hold you close while son is being cared for.
Jersey, Sending you some soft gentle hugs and comfort for all your worries. And sprinkles, lots of sprinkles.
Katy, What a wonderful start to a happy garden. You have so much to look forward this spring and summer. Thanks for sharing pictures.
Thanks for asking about my flu. Today I'm feeling much better. Rebuilding some stamina is going to be necessary since I've been down for more than 2 weeks. My "possible pneumonia" turned out to be "just" bronchitis and no antibiotics were ordered. DH thinks it's time I take back cooking chores. I'd rather not yet, but his skills are so pitiful.
Looking forward to our SoCal meeting. I promise to be healthy and not contagious by then.
Hi to all my fellow crazies, even those in treehouse, rabbit hole, or circling the suburbs. Jan
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Ducky, hugs and prayers for Michael to come through surgery safely and uneventfully--and that the surgery is successful. Tang, in your pocket that the area over your sternum turns out to be unrelated to cancer and easily treatable. Sorry about your friend’s dx, Jerseygirl. We all tend to worry for those in our lives, perhaps more than for ourselves (subconsciously, we might feel that we might be diverting some of that “worry flow” from our dear ones in order to help them heal or cope). Katy, keeping an eye on my yard--the magnolia is budding, but the #$%^&*( rabbits uprooted and ate my perennial herbs the last time it was warm out. Patty, hope the drains slow to a trickle and then run dry.
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Oh ducky! I am so sorry about your son. Darn he has been through so much. I will be praying for him. Jan, glad you are coming out of the flu. Take it easy until you get your strength back. PMR, praying for the drains to stop...DRAINING! Jersey, I am so sorry about your friend. I am still praying about your decision. Love to anyone I missed.
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Hello Crazies....been trying to walk away from some screentime...I keep getting stuck when I am using my screens, I end up in OCD mode. Could be the depression keeping me in a state of motivational lack... Anywho....thank you for the laughs.
Tang - sorry you are here, but happy to know you have found a great place to hang out. Everyone here "gets it!" You are the first person I reached out towards here on BCO. We are both still vertical and that is a good thing....most days.
I am so tired of my body producing weird cysts in even odder places. Hoping your new lump is just that...a lump and nothing more.Ducky - your son is in my prayers.
Tomboy - I love your new profile pic!
The food porn has been so delectable.
Thank goodness it is in your homes and not mine. I would plow through it. Willpower has definitely departed my personal crazy train. Some days I care, and others not, some days I am totally pissed at myself...ugh. As if recurrence wasn't a big enough worry, I get to add pre-diabetes, obesity, osteoporosis, lymphedema, non-alcoholic fatty liver...thanks cancer. I used to be healthy and I also had a good 20 years anorexia free. It is so difficult to figure out how to lose the weight I have gained during treatment. Not all treatment, just since tamoxifen...45 lb gain. I am down 10 lb today, but I was down 18. I really hate this, each time I go to the MO or my PCP that seems to be what we end up discussing. Not my idea, theirs. It really has me screwed up. I am trying so hard to not fall into my unhealthy habits, but it is truly the only way I have ever successfully lost weight. This is so awful. I think I need to just forget about losing weight for now. I really want to tell them to go f**k themselves when they bring it up. My PCP told me I have to make sure it is a gradual weight loss, no more than 1-2 lbs per week. Then says I need to stay under 30 carbs a day. I lost 7 lbs in 6 days...too much stress on the liver. So then he sends me to a diabetes class, they tell me 30 carbs a meal....all my weight came back. Now I just flounder, because it appears that noone seems to know what they are doing and I am on the ledge....aaaargghhh
May I please have some watermelon sized sprinkles?
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Robin, you may!
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robin so hope you can,figure a plan that works for you regarding weight
Me, sure could loose some major pounds but decided some years ago that yo-yo was not good and just try the slow thing
Got my,tax visit in am so hoping all is cool
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Robin, I hear you! Although I am still 30 lbs down from my starting weight, I used to be 50 lbs. down. Living in terror of the day when I have to slide the big weight rightward to the next 50-lb. notch (and for when my husband stops outweighing me). Anorexia is an effective but terrible way to lose weight. When I had postpartum depression, I lost both my appetite and ability to keep food down or in (both ends). I made it down to 112 lbs. (size 6 then, size 0 by today’s measurements) but wince when I look at photos of myself from then--sad-faced, both bony and flabby at the same time. Never again. Oh, well, at least my anorexia is still in remission--when depressed I throw a pity party, when anxious I have to do everything humanly possible to distract myself from wanting to eat stuff my mouth wants but my metabolism doesn’t. How many of us have had the toxic thought “I have cancer--what if I go to my grave having denied myself the foods I’d have enjoyed...to no avail?”
Ordered out for NY pizza & salad last night, and after planned to have one of the three remaining slices for brunch as my farewell-to-carbs. Was going on the straight & narrow after that....and my husband walked in the door bearing pan-Asian food from the joint around the corner after having gone to vote early. So I had a summer roll, two crab Rangoons and some beef & veggies (rinsed off the sauce), plus a bowl of hot & sour soup. Ignoring the brown and white rice sitting in the fridge right now. Sat out on the deck watching the sunset and sipping a small cappuccino....and thinking about that pizza. Hope my son doesn’t take it while I’m out shopping.
Still kicking myself over absent-mindedly picking at the cuticle at the corner of my right thumbnail last night--a nervous habit I’ve had for years--and realizing it was on my LE arm. Rushed to the sink to wash it off and cover it with bacitracin ointment and a bandage--then remembering it’d never dry out and heal. Panicked when I woke up with my ring tight...but so are the rings on my left hand. (Thank you, letrozole). Jumped into the shower and then did MLD massage before getting dressed. Nothing has happened so far, but it’s depressing to realize that this paranoia is not only now justified but necessary...for the rest of my life.
And my cancer adventure was an “easy” one.
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The highs, lows and mood swings are quite the ride.
Thank you all! Probably time for an Ativan, for real.
My anorexia has been so well controlled, I had forgotten how frenetic it can be. I also look at old pictures and cringe. My worst was 98 lbs at 5'4" I had an awesome counselor when I was getting divorced. He helped me turn it on it's head. Instead of not going over a certain weight, I could not go under a certain weight. The weight had to be raised because any stress at the lower weight and my body would shed pounds like water, even when eating healthy and supplementing with Ensure. I had damaged myself that much.
Now, with it being the main focus of my appointments, I can feel it spiraling and I just cannot handle it emotionally at this time. I am already seeing an oncology counselor for all the other baggage that came in the door with cancer.
Going to make some chamomile tea. Getting the process started on my MMJ card in Thursday. I am thinking it won't come quick enough.
Here is where I feel balanced these days.
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Robin- many hugs coming your way. Sending you calm and healing thoughts. 💗💗💗
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(((((Ducky))))
((((Robin))))
((((All of you))))
I am insanely busy today so if I don't write much, just know I am keeping all of you in my heart and you mean the world to me!
Let it rain, let it rain, let it rain (the real wet water stuff, NOT figuratively!)
Octogirl
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Molly, glad to hear you are feeling better. I totally understand about hitting the panic button over stuff like that!
Ducky, I hope your son's surgery is going well. Your poor granddaughter, she's just getting used to her own diagnosis and now this. We'll be praying for him.
Jersey, I'm sorry about Glynn. I hope your friend's surgery goes well. Is it enough to say we all hate cancer? ((Jersey))
Katy, your gardens are beautiful. Mine have never been that well behaved, all the plants have grown too big and I don't have enough time with my job to do more than keep up with the trimming and the weeds.
Patty, that is so frustrating when a drain just keeps putting out the same amount day after day. I hope it slows soon.
JAN, I'm glad you "only" have bronchitis and are feeling better.
Sandy, the rabbits and deer here will eat anything. Even flower bulbs and pepper plants!
Robin, the food is much safer in pictures, isn't it. I need to lose weight, and yet certain foods are sometimes the only thing that make me feel better. I can't imagine trying to negotiate weight loss with a history of anorexia. Do you think a nutritionist would be more helpful than your PCP or the diabetes class in designing something that works for you, with your specific needs?
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Thanks everyone for kind words about my scary dream. I was away working long hours on a business trip, came back sick with a sinus infection. Doctor's appointment tomorrow and can't wait for a cure. Love your posts, Slowdeepbreaths, Octogirl, Jackbirdie and so many others. I'll try to surface again this weekend after I catch up on work and feeling crummy.
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Thank you so much for all your prayers............Michael is doing ok,.....his surgery was successful.........he had a 9mm stone in his bile duct......they removed his gall bladder, and will be home tomorrow sometime...................after his father died from pancreatic cancer anytime I hear anything in that area I panic........he should be ok, after healing for a while...........thank God........
It has been a roller coaster ride for us.....another son was diagnosed with melanoma and had surgery just a few months ago..........one of my daughters is now seeing a specialist to find out what is wrong with her....she is in pain all the time, and after thinking polyia rheumatic and giving her prediisone.......they found out it isn't that.........she is going to a Rheumatologist in 3 days to find out if that is what it is.......so sad................another has a bacterial infection in her lungs and the meds to cure it are literally killi'ng her.........my youngest daughter is also not well.................she has an auto immune disease.....so we have gotten hit hard..........and that is in addition to Little Grayson who turned 5 on March 3rd, and still in a wheelchair.........so thanks for your prayers.0 -
((((Ducky)))) I wish it was in person hugs but take comfort that your entire family is in my prayers.
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Robin and Sandy, I don't know about eating disorders but you both are in my prayers as well. One of the moms on my email list for parents of kids with encephalitis lost her little princess Saturday night. She was 4 years old and died in her sleep. I hate this disease as much or more than cancer. Blessings on all of you crazies. I am going to love on Wyatt for a while.
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Oh, Molly, I wouldn’t know where to start except to tell you how much we all feel for you and Wyatt--we never know how long we will have our loved ones, so we must cherish every minute with them.
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All I can say is it is amazing how much stress a person can take.
It's bad enough to be sick but to see people we luv and care about go thru sickness is the worst. Here's wishing all the best to everyone.
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