Light from around the world for LongTermSurvivor/Stephanie
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The heavens and the earth revealed through you, my friends. Thank you!
Katy, you brought the bread! Do you remember my writing about com-panions being bringers of the bread for the journey?
I've been thinking about all those words that start with com- and sym- and syn-, the prefixes for being with or bringing.
A few months back, while in early days on hospice, I reacted to the emphasis on com-fort, until I found it meant being strong with, not coddling and infantilizing.
Yes, the flesh is withering and so many supports and surfaces, positions and movements are painful. Yes, organs object to their old roles - trying to cast off food, activity, even digestion and assimilation. Yes, the liver stutters and falters, ever more sensitive to toxicity of all types. Yes, the belly fills and I pull off a liter of fluid each day.
Yet, I am still strong, not worthy* of being shut away, shut up or shut down. Rather, I am opening and with true com-fort - others like you who can be strong with me - I feel strengthened to undergo this transformation.
I wish I knew if the chrysalis is conscious of being formed into a butterfly.
Such an act of surrender!
Thank you for joining me in the adventure and for sharing yourselves so generously!
Receiving your every kindness with joy and gratitude, Stephanie
* Who is worthy of being shut? Surely not even the weakest among us.
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Thank you too Stephanie. You certainly are strong to be able to share so much with us. I hope the sharing helps you as much as it helps us and we are grateful you are here too.
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I also do not mean strong in that you have to sugar coat. I find it good to be able to reflect on changes that could happen to any of us at any point in life let alone our disease and coping with such is so important as well. Thanks again.
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good morning Stephanie:
Caught this cutie eyeing the cherry tree for a banquet to be enjoyed later.
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And yes, Stephanie- I remembered the loaves from your thread and it was in the same spirit offered back.
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Bay Bridge San Francisco at night:
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This poem surfaced again...I hope you enjoy it too.
May we all appreciate our beautiful days and nights, our beautiful lives.
blessings, Stephanie
xxx
Hozho
by Lyla June
It is dawn
The sun is concurring the sky
and my grandmother and I are heaving prayers at the horizon
'"Show me something unbeautiful," she says,
"And I will show you the veil over your eyes and take it away
and you will see hozho all around you, inside of you."
This morning my grandmother is teaching me the meaning of hozho
Although there is no direct translation from Dine Bizaah the Navajo language into English
Every living being knows what hozho means
For hozho is in every drop of rain, every eyelash, every leaf on every tree
Every feather on the bluebird's wing
Hozho is undeniable
beauty
Hozho is in every breath that we give to the trees
And in every breath that they give to us in return
Hozho is reciprocity
My grandmother knows the meaning of hozho well
For she speaks a language that grew up out of the desert floor
Like red sandstone monoliths that rise like arms of the earth into the sky
Praising creation for all of its brilliance
Hozho is remembering that you are part of this brilliance
It is finally accepting that yes,
you are a sacred song that brings the
Dien dine eh, the gods to their knees in an almost unbearable ecstasy
Hozho is remembering your own beauty
And my grandmother knows this well,
For she speaks the language of aluka chuhay snowstorm
The sounds of hooves hitting the earth on birthdays
For my grandmother is a midwife
and she is fluent in the language of suffering mothers
of joyful mothers
of handing glowing newborns to the hands of their creator
hozho is not something you can experience on your own
the eagles tell us as they lock talons in the stratosphere
and fall to the earth as one
hozho is entire beauty
and my grandmother knows hozho well
for she speaks the language of the male rain
that shoots lightning boys through the sky
pummels the green corn children
and huddles the horses the against the cliff sides in the early afternoon
she also speaks the language of the female rain
that sends the scent of dust and sage into our homes
and shoots rainbows out of and into the earth
us dineh we know what hozho means
and each and every one of you knows what hozho means
and deep down we know what hozho does not mean
like the days we walk in sadness
like the days we live for money
the days we live for fame
the days we live for tomorrow
like the day the Spaniards came
climbed down from their horses and asked us if they could buy the mountains
we knew this was not hozho
but we knew we could make it hozho once again
so we melted their silver swords and their coins
with fire and buffalo hide bellows
and reshaped them into squash blossom jewelry pieces and strung it around their necks
we took the helmets straight off of their heads
and turned it into a fearless beauty
hozho is the healing of broken bones
hozho is the prayer that carried us through genocide and disease
it is the prayer that will carry us through global warming
through this global fear that has set our souls on fire
this morning my grandmother is teaching me
that the easiest and most elegant way to defeat an army of hatred
is to sing it beautiful songs until it falls to its knees and surrenders
it will do this, she says
because it has finally found a sweeter fire than revenge
it has found heaven
it has found hozho
this morning my grandmother sang to the colors of the sky at dawn
hozhona has lai
hozhona has lai
hozhona has lai
and beauty is restored again
it is dawn my friends
wake up
the night is over
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Dear Stephanie, thank you for sharing so generously with us. Your words have made me a better person.
You wrote "I wish I knew if the chrysalis is conscious of being formed into a butterfly" and I thought of this:
Light and love from Wisconsin. ♥
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Thank you, that was a beautiful poem indeed. I certainly enjoyed it. Hoping you find your peace, balance, beauty and harmony. I also had to look up what hozho means since it spoke to me as well. I thought some of the poem sounded Navajo. Was great anyway. Thank you again.
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Thank you for sharing that lovely poem, Stephanie.
I found some healing in it for me.
🙏🏼
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What a beautiful poem -- especially for someone like me who is very much into Native American culture and beliefs. Thank you for sharing it. I had missed whatever the dust up was on a thread I don't follow, but I have enjoyed many of your contributions. Your loving kindness and wisdom of a seeker radiates through your words. I have been blessed by many of your posts, as well as noticed that you continue to reach out to and help others in spite of your own challenges. Thank you, Stephanie. Deanna
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Stephanie, just had a HAAARD weekend with my fabulous and difficult DD. A line in that poem really resonated for me. Thank you. XX
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Dear Stephanie:
I came across this poem a dear friend shared with me. I want to share it with you.
Rain Light
W. S. Merwin
All day the stars watch from long ago
my mother said I am going now
when you are alone you will be all right
whether or not you know you will know
look at the old house in the dawn rain
all the flowers are forms of water
the sun reminds them through a white cloud
touches the patchwork spread on the hill
the washed colors of the afterlife
that lived there long before you were born
see how they wake without a question
even though the whole world is burning
Sending you warmth and light
K
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Dear Stephanie:
I came across this poem a dear friend shared with me. I want to share it with you.
Rain Light
W. S. Merwin
All day the stars watch from long ago
my mother said I am going now
when you are alone you will be all right
whether or not you know you will know
look at the old house in the dawn rain
all the flowers are forms of water
the sun reminds them through a white cloud
touches the patchwork spread on the hill
the washed colors of the afterlife
that lived there long before you were born
see how they wake without a question
even though the whole world is burning
Sending you warmth and light
K
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Dear Stephanie, i hope you are resting and pain free. Here is sending you loving kindness and healing lights.
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Dear Stephanie: thinking of you, hoping you are managing today and your mind is loose among worldly and celestial pleasures. Thought of you when j saw this April shower of cherry blossoms out my window
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OOPS...I always mess up trying to post a message w/ pix, but this was face timing my grandaughter when they visited China. Don't know what's in the soap there...but it made awesome bubbles. I told her to make a huge wish & pop it...and I did the same. My wish was that you, and our other sisters on this leg of the road, find an abundance of peace & love...as you send the same to all of us on a different path for now. So...lovingkindness to you from China & Seattle, dear friend.
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Thinking of you Stephanie- I can't sleep so I am making myself useful and hoping you are sleeping peacefully and without pain. Sweet Dreams. I hope tomorrow is a sun filled day of farm life, flowers, critters and friends. Gentle (((Hugs))).
rosevalley
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Am sending a bunch of thank-you and happiness flowers for the bunch of you all.
Needed a boost after a challenging few days and reread this thread.
Remembering how our lives weave together helped me through.
I woke this morning from a dream of swimming with dolphins in warm gulf waters. May be kitschy and cliche, but I am so happy.
Minding my happiness and sharing some with you too.
Thank you!
Stephanie
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I am glad to hear you are feeling happier. Glad this thread is helping you out. This may be silly but wanted to send you a dolphin too. You are welcome from all of us.
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Thanks for the flowers Stephanie! I love iris. Just yesterday I stole some bulbs I'd been admiring along a fence on a lot which will soon become a retail store or office. My other favorite is crepe myrtle - regardless of how hot it gets in July and August they just keep showing off.
Sorry this week has been so tough for you. Sending you a gentle hug and a green toothy smile from Clairabelle the donkey. She just loves to show off her green teeth. I'll post a picture later.
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Stephanie - I like to picture swimming with sea turtles in warm Hawaiian waters when I am stressed. So soothing. Hoping you have more comfortable days soon
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Clairabelle's teeth look really bad on camera but here she is saying hello.
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Good morning Stephanie! I am thinking about you and hoping you slept well and are comfortable. It's a struggle to keep mentally fit and have fortitude with cancer ever present. That's the hard part about dying.. living until you die, knowing the process is progressing. You amaze me with your grace under these conditions and I am learning how to do it through your example. For that I am grateful.
I hope the view of the pond is lovely and the wildlife shower you with interesting things to watch from your windows. May the birds sing and the flowers bloom. Joining the circle of caring and love here lighting the "Light from around the world for Stephanie." Lovingkindness and peace to you.
love rosevalley
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Thank you, I had a rough yesterday and night, but grateful to be alive, at home and in hospice care.
I feel so much love from and for the world - those nearest and those (YOU!) I've never met.
Here's today's gratefulness quote:
Sometimes our light goes out, but is blown again into instant flame by an encounter with another human being. Each of us owes the deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this inner light.
Dr. Albert Schweitzer
Thank you for being with me, friends, Stephanie
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Good morning Sweet Stephanie,
How about a view of the rock?
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I grew up right next door to Berkeley, but I can't tell about this pic...do you think it's the Solano Avenue tunnel? There's no ivy so I can't tell??? I bet it's from Treasure Island!
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