Light from around the world for LongTermSurvivor/Stephanie

ruthbru

Hi from chilly North Dakota!

SlowDeepBreaths

Thinking of you, Stephanie.

Japan - From my DD's trip.

Tomboy

Stephanie, thinking of you with love and warmth from Los Angeles. I was so happy to see you in my inbox, when I had sent you a private message that one time. I wasn't sure you would respond, because you didn't know me at all! And I was suffused with warmth and gladness to read your response, it was like having a real friend leaning close. And I have read it several times since. It's just that the amount of love you have sent out into the world, has mattered so much to all of us, enough light to warm those cockles of our hearts! So sending some rays back to you. Love

mara51506

Good morning Stephanie. Hope it was sunny out for you this day. I wanted to share some light with you that I also find very cute. Hope you like it.

cb123

Good morning Stephanie,

Look what some millennial kid posted on my FaceBook! Must be a Bernie or Bust kid?

It never ends does it? Thank goodness.

I hope you're having a peaceful day.

cb

farmerlucy

Happy May Day to you Stephanie. So glad you are able to take in the wonders of nature. I've always loved May Day. Where I was raised in the Midwest we would pick flowers, put them in a May basket, hang it on a friend's door and then run and hide. I have to admit one year when I was five I picked an armful of flowers from all the neighbors. They were beautiful and they were there. I had some issues understanding ownership at that tender age. I received a heck of a scolding from my dad. So to all you neigbors out there in the universe, "I'm sorry I picked things from your yard I shouldn't have!" Whew glad to get that off my chest.

I'm so glad you have such a great relationship with your oncologist. My brother is an oncologist. Pre-cancer I never understood why he'd set himself up for that career. Now I can see it. It must be such a privilege to walk with another soul in such an important, and often the most important journey of their lives.

My baby chicks have become teenagers. Spike and Boz the roosters have taken a keen interest in them. I may release the teenagers soon and hope the bachelors watch over them.

I hope you are having a peaceful day and that your pain is well controlled. Hugs from my farm to yours.

Lily55

Hey Stephanie, sending you loads of thoughts and love from Spain, you are one truly amazing woman, I am not tech savvy enough to post potos

xxx

cb123

Rosevalley

Thinking of you Stephanie and hoping your day was comfortable and full of flowers, insects and critters visiting your farm windows. Isn't the weather glorious? So much sun.We went to the Oregon coast and walked along the beach in 75 degree sunny weather in May. I can't believe it. Normally it is cool and cloudy. I am kind of baked and feeling a little stupid. Too much sun and breeze... of course I was wifty to begin with.

Anyway I thought I would check in and send you love and hugs.

rosevalley

FactoryGirlYogi84

you are the best Stephanie. Hope all is well

april485

For you dearest Stephanie. I read your blog and I know your heart is as big as the world and may this angel keep you from any pain and hurt moving forward. Hugs!

mara51506

I love that angel April

Stephanie, I too appreciate you sharing so candidly your words and perspective on dying. I follow your blog posts on other site, this post and of course voraciously read the Death and Dying thread. I am not allowed to give my regards on that one but I do want to say thank you again for sharing so generously. Loving kindness to you and others on any stage of this thing we call life.

SlowDeepBreaths

Thinking of you, Stephanie.

cb123

I started this guy last Stinko de Mayo.

I finally get an avocado to grow and it keeps doing this????

I'm starting some companion trees later today, I'd like to get 2 trees that don't get brown leaves.

Longtermsurvivor

Thank you, everyone!

April, I love your painting...it made me gasp with delight.

cb. I've just discovered avocado smoothies made with milk, avo, ice, a bit of lemon and a bit of sugar. Amazingly delicious and nutritious. Also, thanks for SF, my birth place and favorite city.

SDB. Oh, mountain heights. How I miss the altitudes - too many years SOB from long mets, all I do is dream of the High Sierras and Yosemite. Fortunately many good memories.

Rosevalley, I just sent you a bouquet from my friend's garden. Hope you enjoy those roses.

Yogini, your mom and you are in my healing meditations!

Tomboy, we are never alone - I'm glad you reached out and I reached back.

Ruth Bru, thank you for bringing me someplace I've never been in this lifetime. I love to see and feel the world through others' eyes and experiences.

Lily, a warm hug and kiss from California to Spain. Thank you!

Everyone, thank you for your kind words for my healing and in appreciation of what I share. It's important to know that I'm not speaking into an empty room, but that your receive me. I've so often wondered what people think, feel and experience as death approaches. It's good to know that others care too!

Many blessings on this fine Spring evening, Stephanie

Farmer Lucy, here are a couple chickens at Moonlight Farm. The white Delaware in the foreground I call speckle neckle, She's bold and friendly, loves to eat bugs.

ruthbru

Here's the same river that was in the picture you liked, but in the summer.

lacombattante

Yesterday, we were flying over Montblanc and I snapped couple of pictures - love and light from Switzerland!

lacombattante

one more...

Mominator

Stephanie, after your suggestion, I have been reading Sherri Phillipo's blog. I've been working from the oldest dates coming forward. I just got to Dickinson, on page 6, oh my, what a shock for me!

This is one of my favorite poems of Emily Dickinson, and I set it to music back in 1990, along with three other Dickinson poems to make a song cycle. It has only been performed three times: it was premiered in 1990, performed again in 2005 in a new music festival, and most recently at my concert in Madison, NJ on April 14, 2016, which was just 4 days after Sherri Phillipo died.

Of course I wanted to tell Sherri how much that poem resonated with me. Sadly that will have to wait until we meet on the other side.

----------------

Tie the strings to my life, my Lord,
Then I am ready to go!
Just a look at the horses—
Rapid! That will do!

Put me in on the firmest side,
So that I shall never fall;
For we must ride to the Judgment,
And it's partly down hill.

But never I mind the steepest,
And never I mind the sea;
Held fast in everlasting race
By my own choice and thee.

Good-by to the life I used to live,
And the world I used to know;
And kiss the hills for me, just once;
Then I am ready to go!

----------------

Thank you for introducing me to Sherri.

Longtermsurvivor

Hi mominator and friends,

Mominator, your message got me thinking about blogs I've followed to the author's death.

Some of the writers continue to live in my heart and imagination.

Since I know others here enjoy poetry and good writing, I'll offer these.

There are many other well written and deserving cancer and death and dying blogs out there - these are just some of my personal favorites.

(Free registration required to access caring bridge sites)

Eva and Ann's are very poetic and descriptive

Eva Saulitis

https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/evasaulitis

Eva's earlier run with breast cancer diagnosis and treatment

http://alaskanincancerland.blogspot.com

Ann Emerson

https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/annemerson/journal

http://clearheartblog.blogspot.com/2010/09/meet-ann-emerson.html

Julia's blog is fun and funny, even as she's dying

http://juliadarling.co.uk/julias-diary/

Terri is the daughter of science fiction authors and a wonderful writer

http://gracefulwomanwarrior.com

Wave's World will break your heart while making you laugh

http://wavesworld.typepad.com

Actually, all these will break your heart wide open. Reading them is reading autobiographies of the recently deceased. You get to know them and to love them knowing that they'll die. Because they're blogs, their deaths are the first things you learn. Then you begin to understand the complexity of their lives, feelings, approaches, souls and spirits.

Enjoy the reads!

May your broken hearts open to reveal new and tender life. May you nurture your heart's wisdom. May you be healed and at peace.

loving kindness, Stephanie

Rosevalley

Good morning Stephanie! I hope you were comfortable last night and are doing well this morning. May the sunlight stream through your windows, the chickens greet you, butterflies dance on the flowers and you be filled with peace and contentment. Blessings your way today.

love rosevalley

mara51506

I've just started Julia Darling's diary. It is quite the peek into someone's life. You are right. She is funny as she is dying but I can appreciate the fact she kept her humour. Very good read indeed. Will have to check the others as time allows since I do enjoy the perspective other people. It is helpful to also gain some perspective as to how my own health can go as well. I don't like to hide my head in the ground and pretend I can't have my cancer spread. I don't live with it 24/7 but don't shy away from that truth. Your words from this thread as well as the Death and Dying thread offer some of what can be expected or experienced and I do not shy away from that. Thank you Stephanie. I do hope you are comfortable as well.

Mominator

Thanks, Stephanie, I will look at those as well.

My heart has been being broken now for a while. My friend and neighbor battled breast cancer 3 years ago. I thought she was done. She's so very private, she never talked about her treatments, and she never let her children know that she had cancer, even going through chemo wearing a wig. I only discovered in August, 2015 that she has mets because she happen to mention her new medicine "for her bones."

She's been losing her eyesight since October. She was hospitalized for seizures in January, and came home with only light and shadows for sight. She was hospitalized again in February and came home with no sight. She has been quickly declining, and went on hospice on April 4, 2016.

https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/144/topics/842954

I sang my song cycle on poems of Emily Dickinson as a way of honoring her. Although, when I programmed the songs, I was still thinking her death would be much further in the future (months or years). I'm afraid it's now just weeks away.

I'll put the entire song cycle in its own post.

Madelyn / Mominator

Mominator

Here are the poems in my
song cycle:

The Bustle in a House

The Bustle in a House

The morning after Death

Is solemnest of industries

Enacted upon Earth_

The Sweeping up the Heart

And putting Love away

We shall not want to use again

Until Eternity.

Each that we lose takes
part of us

Each that we lose takes part of us;

A crescent still abides,

Which like the moon, some turbid night,

Is summoned by the tides.

All but Death, Can be
Adjusted

All but Death, Can be Adjusted_

Dynasties repaired_

Systems_ settled in their Sockets_

Citadels_ dissolved_

Wastes of Lives_ resown with Colors

By succeeding Springs

Death_ unto itself_ Exception_

Is exempt from Change_

Tie the Strings of My
Life, My Lord

Tie the Strings of My Life, My Lord,

Then, I am ready to go!

Just a look at the Horses_

Rapid! That will do!

Put me in on the firmest side_

So that I shall never fall_

For we must ride to Judgment_

And it’s partly, down Hill_

But never I mind the steepest_

And never I mind the Sea_

Held fast in Everlasting Race_

By my own Choice, and Thee_

Goodbye to the Life I used to live_

And the World I used to know_

And kiss the Hills, for me, just once_

Then_ I am ready to go!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

The punctuation, including dashes and capitalization, and word choices are from an unedited edition of Emily Dickinson's poems. Her poems were so unconventional that editors frequently changed punctuation and words before printing. So some of these poems may be a bit different from what you may know.

Madelyn

cb123

Good morning from Arizona,

What if, instead of thinking about solving your whole life, you just think about adding additional good things. One at a time.

Spoken like the true hoarder I am.

cb

Longtermsurvivor

cb123,

Thank you for the reminder of the very many ways we can approach living and dying.

I woke up singing this Threshold Choir song, Put Everything in Order by Velma Frye

The local Threshold Choir has been singing for me for four years now. Their songs are truly a refrain for my life. And I think they've helped me to live longer and better than expected.

There are Threshold Choir groups all over the world. Volunteers come to the besides of the dying to sing in small groups of 2-4 members. I love these ladies!

If you'd like live their music at your dying bed or bedside of one you love, contact them.

I hope you enjoy Velma Frye's music. She's an incredible songwriter.

Fortunate are Madelyn's neighbors who enjoy her music and presence. May we all be so well accompanied throughout life.

Many blessings all, Stephanie

farmerlucy

Morning Stephanie - Thank you for telling us about The Threshold Choir organization. It would be a great fit for our church. Hope you are having a peaceful day.

bestbird

Stephanie, visiting you here on this special thread just for you is akin to joining a loving family that is celebrating a very special member! Your words and spirit touch people all over the world, and we are so grateful to you for generously sharing your amazing spirit.

Wishing you the sweetest of days!

With gratitude and love.

- Anne

Rosevalley

Stephanie- When ever I walk through my garden admiring the Irises, foxglove and roses I think of you. You love beauty and nature. Now I have that hauntingly beautiful song stuck in my head! The threshold choir must be so lovely. Kind of like when you have your acupuncture needles in and the low Asian music plays.. relax and let the magic work. Music soothes. Thank you for all you share. I have read, expanded my view on death and dying, learned about other views, music, alternative treatments... shared experiences with ascites and management. Wow... a real education. I am grateful to you for all your sharing. Thank you!

May you be as comfortable as you are able and at peace. Lovingkindness to you. rosevalley

cb123

Hi Steph,

I lived in Yuba City/Marysville when I was in college. One day, on my way home from school, I noticed a couple of young girls stuck with car trouble at the post office. I gave them a ride home and their mom, who didn't speak English, gave me a chicken. She insisted.

I let it roam wild and free around the yard for a couple of hours while I made it a 4x4x4 tabletop coup. Then it was time for it to get in it's cage for the night. I must have chased it around the yard for 10 minutes before my little old man neighbor stopped laughing long enough to tell me they just come home by themselves.

I put some chicken food down and came back later to tuck it in. Sure enough, she was in there. The next day, I threw the neighborhood kids in the back of my truck, drove to the feed store and let each kid pick out a chick. I spent the rest of the year enjoying my coffee on the front porch, watching the chickens be mean to the cat.

It was the most perfect way to start my days. Sometimes I'd have a cold one out there with my little old man neighbor in the afternoons. Chickens are incredibly entertaining.

cb