My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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So today I had planned to get some things done with my artwork and paints. I had been meaning to organize and clean up since January, but never happened. I need to get to my unused paint and. Ahhhh, but no, I couldn’t even face it this morning dealing with uncomfortable side effects, that kept me away from my art room today.I’m trying to get used to this new “normal” of not being able to accomplish my well intentioned plans for the day. My goal was to work on my paints, take a short walk with the dogs, sit in the sun for a little while, but the only place I spent some time was in the bathroom and laying down on my bed with a heating pad on my tummy. I felt a little better this afternoon, so worked for an hour with the paints,organizing a little bit and that was my big day. 🙄🤷♀️.
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Thanks you ladies. Very much.
Shanagirl, don’t be too hard on yourself. You’ll find that happens a lot. The medicine takes a lot out of us. Today my mouth is bothering. Me. So that’s fun. I’m sorry everyone is struggling. But we’re in this shit stew together!
thinking of Sadie. Haven’t seen her. Or rk20200 -
Mel-happy birthday! Enjoy time with family.
For me this new format stinks. I have to sign in every time because I am new here! Geez!
Well i saw my oncologist and found out my scans were stable which I'll take that. However because my blood counts go so low he is changing the Ibrance from 21 days on and 1 week off to 2 weeks on and 2 weeks off. I just hope it will keep my cancer as is for a little longer.
To our American friends have a great Memorial weekend.
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I’m here. Another wonderful day in paradise! I had to go for my nephrostomy tube change and woke to wet night clothes. Tube was blocked and backed up again. Of all the days when I need to get myself to the hospital! Friend helped pad me temporarily and I managed to get things flowing again. Just back after a long wait as they were running behind. No tried to eat some lunch but just got sick. I think it’s from lying on my stomach with it full of fluid. Good grief.
Wishing you a very happy birthday Mel. The meal sounds delicious. Take care all.1 -
oh Sadie~ I am really sorry to hear you’re having so much trouble with that. It’s gotta frustrate the heck out of you. I wish I could take it away for you. I’m thinking about you and hoping this improves for you. Sending hugs of strength your way.
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Oh myyyy what an active thread lol my notification bell said 24 but I love it! I had some catching up to do.
Mel Happiest of Birthdays to you! It sounds like you are going to have a wonderful weekend ,enjoy!🍰
@irishlove sending well wishes for your DH. You are absolutely right, we all have so much to live for and that's why we keep marching on!
@shanagirl Your a Jersey girl??? By any chance South Jersey? When I heard you say "shore dinner" I had to ask lol. I live in South Jersey.
@goldensrbest Sending healing wishes your way.
Long week filled with appointments looking forward to a relaxing weekend!
Hi to all that I missed.
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Happy Birthday, Mel!! Yum yum yum for your birthday dinner. DH is allergic, so I only get that stuff when we go out. I haven't found a place in the area for seafood, yet. DH is retired Navy, and we lived in coastal areas forever, so I have standards. Lol
Sadiesservant if you felt one of your pockets getting a little heavier, that was me jumping in.
SondraF- gee whiz, take it easy! I do like the medicinal support ice cream. I'm going to have to remember that one.
Emac and Goldens- I hope you're feeling better and can get some rest.
Mara, your cat smoothies crack me up. They're so spoiled! And you are so creative!
Reading along and sending good thoughts to all the others I haven't mentioned.
I've been cleaning , laundering and prepping for visitors this weekend - kids and 10yo grandson +1. I'm exhausted, but looking forward to it.
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happy birthday Mel. I saw the beautiful bouquets on instagram.
Livingivlife great nes on scans.
sondraf I think you had a lot of fun in the pool. Hopefully the soreness leaves soon.
GD 5th grade graduation today.
waving hello to all that came out for Mel’s birthday bash! Crowded for Mel.Tanya
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Living very happy for you on scans, that is great to hear.
Tanya, enjoy the graduation!
Sondra take care of yourself. Hopefully the over working pain will go away or is away now.
Sadie, I am sorry for all the problems you are having, sending my thoughts and love your way, I hope you can feel it coming from here.
I am feeling generally lazy today. Did go out for mall walk with older DB and SIL last night. No groceries needed, going to try to work through some of what I have as shelf storage, fridge and freezer are full as well. Decided to blow this weeks budget on Dollar Tree laundry items, like to mix up with the good stuff, spray cleaners, like to keep sprayers and mix those sprays with soap to clean stuff, chips and food containers. Spent 25 dollars and it felt good.
I am jonesing for mcdonalds so will allow myself to have as I earned enough paypal to replace the cost from the surveys and games, might pay 1.00 out of pocket and it saves me the hassle of cooking this morning. I want the breakfast meal. Later today will feature eggs and separate ground beans and cheese on the side. Will also add some canned chicken to the grinder and wheat bran, fiber and dries things up to the ground beef texture instead of mush. That will be lunch or supper I think.
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Good morning everyone.☀️ I’m praying your day is better each and every day.💕
So today I’m going to focus on a few goals. Go out to the garden center with DH and then go to the boardwalk breath in some sea air and take a walk with him. We always did this every day, but lately not so much.
@cookie54, yes JerseyShore. On Barnegat Bay, probably a little north of South Jersey.😉
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Shanagirl~ so jealous of your access to the beach. I want nothing more than to see the beach again. I love the beach. Before diagnosis I was a sun goddess. I lived in the sun. My son would lifeguard at a neighborhood pool and I would get in for free. I spent endless summer days with my son and daughter at the pool enjoying the summer. Then we’d take a week and go to ocean city nj. I love it there too. I miss the old days when I could make plans on a whim. I’m trying to push myself to do things. I just get so darn tired. Ibrance really sucks all he energy out of your body. Fatigue is the main component for me. Along with my spine area. It’s easily irritated because it’s the tail bone. When we sit the tail bone is the center of gravity. If I didn’t have that. I’d be pretty darn ok. Ugh! Please breathe the sea air for me. And look at the horizon. Enjoy your walking.
Mara made me hungry again. I love McDonald’s. But it doesn’t love me. LolGoldens. Hope you’re doing good today
Sondraf~ thinking of you as well.
kitty~ hope you’re improving as well.
Tanya~ thank you. I did get a lot of wonderful flowers for my birthday. I love them.0 -
Only reason I can eat a lot of my favourites are the digestive enzymes. Taco Bell does not even faze me. I think for that, I would pick up at the restaurant as it is obscene how much it is on delivery. The Mcdonalds today wound up free as I did enough surveys and games to have enough in Paypal to pay for it which was nice.
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hi ladies. I went out to have lunch with my good friend that I have known. Since my son was in first grade. We’ve remained close. I enjoyed myself so much. It was a nice thing to sit and talk. She is going through alot with her family right now and she needed to talk about things. It felt good that we weren’t talking about my cancer. It was brought up. But in a gentle loving way. I really want to make sure that I try to do more things each week. Maybe not each day. But something each week. It’s been a nice birthday week. Tomorrow I get to see my kids together for my feast. I have to say in ways i am blessed. Just wish I didn’t have. Cancer. I know you all wish the same for your Iives. Sleep well ladies hope today was good for all.
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@shanagirl Gotcha, that’s great that your by the water! Enjoy breathing in the salt air, I love the beach!
@micmel So happy to hear you are getting out more and enjoying it! I absolutely love Ocean City,NJ was always our go to with the kids. We live about 45 minutes from OC and love to just stroll on the boardwalk. I hope you get to the shore this summer!
Hope everyone was able to find some peace today. Have a good night, hopefully I’ll sleep past the 4 hour mark.
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Mel, glad you are enjoying time with friends and family. It is nice not to have to mention cancer often for me as well.
Cookie, I did not get 4 hours, I was not tired enough to get into bed, no point going to bed when I was wired, not even sure why I was wired.
I am irritated and amused at the same time. Irritated as I got a charge out of something that was paid throughout a year and got 0 balance receipt. Will change card number and harass the company til they refund, if not will file a dispute and BBB report. Amused because I found a weird filter online that could turn me into an anime fairy type character used with an existing picture. I'll post, I feel pretty in this picture.
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Mel- Glad to read you met up with your friend for lunch. You should try to do something new/fun each week or so.
I say I should do the same, but not really anything to do here it seems. I do have a friend that moved to a new apartment (2 hours from me, so I will not be visiting her anytime soon). But she sent me pics of her new place and then I got to looking around my house. I decided to do some small things, such as buy a new shower curtain for the guest bathroom. And buy some blinds for my living room windows— I have a cat, so you can imagine what the blinds look like— holes where the cat has pushed through the blinds to look out. Small things yes, but they will spruce up my house some. I am looking around for more small projects to do— have to be small for my budget. But it makes me feel some happiness.
Saying HI to all on here. I read your posts and wish Mel's Place was real and I could come visit.
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Mel Good Morning☀️It’s always good to spend time with a very close girlfriend, you’ve known for years. Especially when you don’t have to feel you have to talk about your cancer. There are times I can’t bare to discuss it and other times I really need to with those I’m close to.
Having Stage IV cancer for me reminds me of (not in a good way, of course)..when I was pregnant with my babies. It overtakes your whole being, and you never quite get it out of your thoughts. It’s always there. That’s the way I feel now. My Stage IV cancer is always in the back of my mind but unlike a happy cloud like your pregnancy, it’s a grey cloud hanging in my thoughts that’s always there. I’m going to a family Memorial Day barbecue today, and I know I will get the questions and “how do you feel” but it’s all a part of what we all go thru here, I’m glad I have this community. Everyone enjoy the day.♥️
Barb💕
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Candy, I hear you about visiting in person as well, seeing everyone would be great. I don't like zoom calls myself but do prefer seeing people. I do find everyone like a more patient family for me given the stuff I usually have to say. I do not regale my DB or SIL with too much of my goings on, they are happy if I am not falling or starving to death which is as it should be. Older DB cooks, niece is a good cook and SIL is good at many things so my minor things I do stay here mostly. The money savings belongs in my facebook groups when talking in depth about them.
Today is going to be a day off after the horrible sleep I had, making up some rice to accompany breakfast and one of the boxes of the turkey stuffing. Couple spoonfuls of the stuffing, 1/4 cup rice on the plate. Will chop up some black beans, chicken, little cheese and wheat bran as it will be the ground beef texture. Heat up the beans chicken and rice mixture of everything. Have not decided seasoning though I could put some sour cream and onion chips in my coffee grinder and use those as additional seasoning, we will see. Have not tried making a burger out of the beans and cheese chopped and ground yet but it is coming. Would be a good egg mcmuffin sandwich.
Hope everyone has a good Memorial Day weekend in the US.
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Morning all. Mel, it sounds like you are having a lovely birthday week. Enjoy!
So, on my front, things started out a bit rough. Still battling nausea and vomiting. I had friends walk Sadie as I realized yesterday that wasn’t in the cards for me any longer - it’s not doing the dog any good with my very slow pace and, as my lungs get worse it takes too much out of me. They hadn’t been gone long when I felt I needed to be sick - made the mistake of hugging the toilet and then couldn’t get up. Neighbour came to help once she got my message. She’s a retired nurse so knows how to lift thankfully. My legs are just so swollen that I can’t bend easily and I’m too weak in the arms now.
The changes have all come so quickly that I’m not prepared. I clearly need mobility aids although still walking, getting out of bed, etc on my own. With some difficulty of course. My poor mother tries so hard but at 92 she isn’t able to shift me. Sigh…
I do want to ask if you are all okay with my updates. I know this hits close to home. If you would rather I switch to another thread just PM me. I won’t be offended. I do find comfort in Mel’s living room but don’t ever want to cause discomfort to others.
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sadiesservant, I am good with your updates, honestly, I prefer it all, challenges and celebrations. I consider this a place for sharing whatever we’re facing.
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@sadiesservant, you are in our thoughts and we are sorry for everything you experiencing right now. Do you feel as if you're getting enough emotional support? Has your medical team suggested any possible ideas to manage the nausea/vomiting better? We had another BCO member who shared that Enterade has been helpful for her managing her own nausea. I'm not sure if this would be helpful for you, but if you wanted to try it out, it is sometimes that has worked for a few others. Here is a link to their website:
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@sadiesservant , I’m good with your updates. Keep going.
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Hello all - I’m not new to BCO so I know some of you already but I am new to this thread. I’ve been lurking for a couple of weeks. I’m currently on a PROTAC clinical trial but I don’t have high hopes that it’s working. I am scheduled to get scans on June 1&2 and discuss results on June 6. Hoping for the best, prepared for the worst. I haven’t been sick (other than cancer) since early 2019 but I finally caught a bug from someone in my house. Unfortunately it moved into my chest yesterday. I hope it doesn’t screw up my scans.
Sadiesservant- I’m so sorry to hear of your sudden decline. I care about ups and downs and all the in between. I prefer to know how everyone is doing. Nothing is worse than when someone suddenly drops off and we are left wondering what happened. I always feel bad that we were not able to be there to support them in their greatest hour of need. Hugs.
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Pat/sadiesservant, I, too, would rather hear what's going on for you. Please don't feel you have to censor or, even worse, go away from this thread. I'm so glad someone helped you get up from the toilet! Sending you love
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Pat- I am also good hearing your updates and also prefer them- and also all the good stuff and coping mechanisms people use. I am glad you have good friends and neighbors to help as well.
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Pat/Sadiesservant - I agree with what others have posted here. I think this thread is valuable for all of us as a safe place to share and support in the bad times and the good day to day stuff. That's what makes it special. I hope you can get relief for the nausea.
This morning started out with a bang, literally. I have an empty lot behind my house. This morning a woodpecker was pecking on one of the telephone poles on the property and hit one of the lighting conductors just above the transformers. It's happened before and usually makes a horrible sound and knocks the electricity out. Today it sparked hard enough to start a grass fire in the lot. I have been sick so I was not awake yet when a lady was pounding on my door saying my backyard was on fire. It wasn't, she meant the lot. In any case, I was out there hosing down my fence until the fire trucks showed, which fortunately was really fast. I think the same woman who notified me was the one that called them, which I appreciate.
I had to laugh though. I didn't realize my neighbors were outside and I'm out there in my pajamas with a hose spraying the fence. It wasn't until I saw my reflection in the slider door that I realized I had just put on my shoes and gone outside, hair standing straight up and straight out in several places. Wish I had thought to grab one of my cotton beanies but I'm sure I gave them something to talk about in any case. It would also feel better to say that this was in the early glow of dawn but it wasn't, it was about 9:30 in the morning. LOL.
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Thanks all. I so appreciate the support.
Getting up off of the bathroom floor turned into the dining room as I tried various methods to hoist myself. LOL but I’m up and won’t make that mistake again. I have meds to help with nausea but the downside is they completely wipe me out so that all I want to do is sleep. Not sure about the Enterade as I’m in Canada and, with the steroids and nausea I have trouble with lots of liquid. I sip but can’t do a full glass without losing the contents. MO thinks it’s the liver causing the nausea. I just wish it would settle so I can go about my day a bit more normally!
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Pat, please keep us updated all the time, good, bad and ugly stuff too. You need and deserve the support and love we all have for you and each other. If people can put up with my yapping, your news or what you are going through are more than welcome and we would miss you posting. Keep it coming, in your pocket sending love your way, I hope you can feel it.
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Pat - I agree with everyone this is a place for everyone to feel comfortable to post their true feelings. Unfortunately this horrid disease is ugly at times but we all have been there or will be there and we stand with you! Praying you catch a break soon, hugs 🤗
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Dear Pat/Sadiesservant ,
I agree with what everyone has said. I am here to support you in whatever way I can. This is our place of sanctuary and you are a valued and treasured member. Please continue to share.
Your posts provided great comfort to me when I was having skull radiation and then not sleeping for more than a month because of the steroids. I hope I can return the kindness.
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