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My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer

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  • irishlove
    irishlove Member Posts: 532
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    @mara51506 It was so good to have the support of your db, he is special. As others have said, try to enjoy your usual routines and add extra cuddling with your kitties to calm your concerns. Again, I believe other comments are on the right track that the bleed must be minor or they would not wait to act. Prayers for a quick resolve to this and your return to a stable diagnosis.

    Theo, hope you are healing fast and back in your Mommy's arms quickly. Been following The Asher House Sanctuary on Youtube. Check it out to see all the rescuing the two gentlemen have done. It's phenomenal.

    Nothing from Humana for approval of MRI. It's a week today. I see new NP on Monday. Gonna push and do a better job of advocating for myself.

    On a DH note, he drove himself to ER yesterday morning. I had no idea as he left at 6 a.m. He has had a herniated umbilical chord for years and it decided to keep him from doing his business. They operated on him last night and put mesh in. He was fortunate the hernia did not rupture. I planned on having kids pick him and our car up tomorrow when he was due to be discharged. Well at 6 p.m., I heard the car, sure enough he drove himself home. Oh my word, stubborn man. He's hurting tonight. Have to pick up his pain meds in the morning.

    In pockets for all your needs.

    Laurel

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,284
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    Thank you everyone. I am feeling better, plod on as usual, only listen to my RO and be grateful for no new brain mets. Not pay attention to anyone but myself either when it comes to changes in my body as I feel they are overstated by others trying to help.

  • candy-678
    candy-678 Member Posts: 4,148
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    Mara- I am just catching up on the latest posts. I really do not understand why you have a brain bleed. I thought those are usually from trauma- a fall, etc. This just happened spontaneously? You have had these "issues"/ falls for a while. Would it have been bleeding the whole time? I hope the CT gives more info for you and your doctors and it is not too serious. I will be looking for your updates.

  • cookie54
    cookie54 Member Posts: 757
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    irish Gosh feel like you guys can't catch a break over there! Glad he had surgery and seems like all is ok. Fingers crossed for Humana to step up and get authorization very soon, the waiting is so annoying.

    Mel Hope Theo is on the mend and giving you puppy love.

    Thinking of everyone here and sending well wishes for a calm day.

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,284
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    I am not convinced the bleed is from a fall, I only had 3 falls in 2023, 2 due to ice in the winter and one from tripping over a step bench the cat managed to move out of playing while playing. I must have hit my head on the counter or an UBER when getting in which can happen. At this point, does not matter what happened, I will have an CT scan in a couple of weeks and see if it grows, if not I guess we will watch it. I don't think the balance issues I had were brain or in this case caused by the bleed, I truly believe it was lack of activity and a fear of falling causing me to stop the walking. Once the weather is dry and no traffic, over the weekend, going to take myself on the bus to the mall, so little dirt to walk through until normal sidewalk which will probably be in a couple of weeks Today, treadmill happening after breakfast. Best thing to come out of this mess was Paratransit, PT and OT exercises, a nurse who calls once a week and my attitude. What was that saying on Lost, don't tell me what I can't do. I will get back to walking to the mall, only caveat is watch the heat.

    At this point, life goes on as normal and I will not look at this as the end of my world. Take myself to hospital and doctor as I feel SIL is overstating symptoms I may have had and telling me I don't walk right. If I stay on my feet, I am walking right. I will update family once I have the information.

    Not sure what I want to do, tweaked lower back changing cat litter so took an advil, no big deal. Laundry will happen at the same time as dishes and breakfast I might order some breakfast, did not get groceries yesterday and really won't need them this week either which is fine by me, just really craving a good egg mcmuffin.

    I hope everyone has a good day, I am always on pocket duty and please don't worry. As others have said, if the bleed was big or serious, I would have been taken in hospital. For now, nore exercise and just get out starting the weekend, no big heavy contruction vehicles to go through. I am stepping out of my pocket and moving on with my day.

  • keris113
    keris113 Member Posts: 45
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    @mara51506 I am so sorry to hear about your scan and what you are going through. I hope that it is minor and that you are able to relax a little until your next scan, which I know is much easier said than done. Thinking of you.

  • sunshine99
    sunshine99 Member Posts: 2,699
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    Sondra, I just looked at the recipe I printed out off the Internet. It’s from the Minimalist Baker! The recipe is a definite winner. DH loves it and I can’t wait to share it with my DDIL. I tweaked a few things, like adding pumpkin seeds and cashews and leaving out the sunflower seeds (didn’t have any) and I think I cut back the sweetener just a bit. But, as I said, it was a definite winner and a keeper. This recipe is called, “Simple Grain-Free Granola.”

    Mara, oh damn!!! I’m so sorry. This really sucks! I’m so sorry! (Word just informed me that my language may be offensive to some. Really? You want offensive??? I’ll give you some offensive!)

    Laurel, REALLY? DH drove himself to and from the hospital? Wow! I don’t know if I’d be proud or mad!

    Not much going on here. We’re going to go see my dad again this weekend. Trying to wrap my head around a crochet pattern.

    I’ve had this weird “buzzing” in my head. It’s hard to explain the sensation. It doesn’t last, but it’s still weird and a little worrisome. Déjà vu and random sudden pains in head that don’t last more than a few seconds. I hate worrying about every little ache and pain. I “hope” it’s “only” migraines and arthritis.

    Happy Friday, everyone.

    Carol

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,284
    edited October 2023
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    Sunshine, get the brain checked out. You may not be having seizures but that is what the deja vu and buzzing could indicate. Better to find it is not brain related. I know, this coming from the person to tell myself to stop worrying but worth it to get checked out. I remember the deja vu and for me, the aura was like an electronic thing. Up to you of course, just a thought.

    Got my breakfast, sitting with a TENs device on lower back, I could walk, possibly might in the hall or find stretching for the bed. I am also using those balls with the little spikes and rolling it along. Hate when you bend and then all of a sudden you are sore.

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,284
    edited October 2023
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    Well, hope the lack of posts means people had good stuff to do yesterday which would be great.

    Still in pockets for anyone who needs it.

    Back is mildly better, still quite painful. Found some chair stretches to do, will do those thoughout day, take Advil and just whine when I must get up for other things. Since it has improved, I can only think I tweaked it somehow and must be patient for it to go away.

    Other than that, laundry will still go on, will do the TENS machine again before applying Volaren and just taking it easy, was in bed by 830 last night and slept pretty well. I would have gone out but with the bad back, will stay home for now. I do find stretching my mody over the ottoman from my chair is good and the good old marching is helping, I hope as the day goes on it improves, I don't deal with most pain at all well. My Mom was stoic, I did not inherit this from her so I need to try and put up with it better than yesterday.

  • shanagirl
    shanagirl Member Posts: 390
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    Good Morning everyone,

    I haven’t checked in in a few days. Haven’t really kept up with Posts either. Just been isolating. I haven’t felt very well since last shots and that’s usually why. So…..Hi 👋 just not into typing mood I guess.🩵Pocket duty always……

    @mara51506 👋💙🩵

  • tanya_djamila
    tanya_djamila Member Posts: 1,516
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    Mara sorry to hear about your new development. It’s nice to read you’re still cooking cleaning and cuddling your kiddies.

    sending love to all

    Tanya

  • threetree
    threetree Member Posts: 1,478
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    Hello to all, with especially good wishes for Mara, as I am so sorry to read about your current dilemma. Wishing you nothing but the best!

    Like Shanagirl, I've been absent for awhile and unable to keep up with everything. I've got a terrible sinus infection and the two antibiotics I've been prescribed have not seemed to help. Oncologist thought I got the infection due to "mild immunocompromization" from the Verzenio/Faslodex combo. He prescribed Augmentin and I seemed to have a reaction and was told to go to the ER. They prescribed doxycycline and I had symptoms that made me think it gave me a worse sinus infection, so last Sunday did a telehealth with a MyChart virtual provider and she thought my symptoms were indeed the sinus infection, not the drug, and that I should be OK. Only got worse a few days later and again, thought it was a drug reaction (very similar symptoms between doxy side effects and sinus infection), so stopped taking it. Only seemed to get worse - so much so that I can't even get my shoes on to take the recycle down to the bin. Afraid that if I call a dr they'll just tell me to go to the ER again. Since I fractured my shoulder I have a friend whose been driving me around, but I think she's getting burnt out from it all - especially spending all last Friday at the ER with me, so I hate to call her. Am thinking it might be good to at least go to urgent care today to see what they think, but I just hate to bug my friend any more. Yesterday I did start a full on assault on this sinus problem with several sinus rinses/irrigation sessions and using some Xlear nasal spray in between. Also changed my sleeping position a bit as it might have been contributing to the problem. I seem to be feeling a bit better this morning, and that's the only reason I could get on here at all. Usually the screen and scrolling makes my head and eye pain so much worse I can't stand it. Also, just no energy to take in posts, muchless post back. Again, a little better this morning, so hopeful. Will continue all the tripled up sinus rinsing today and see what happens. So tired of doctors and relying on my friend for rides and companionship.

    Do want to wish everyone here a wonderful day without troubles!

  • micmel
    micmel Member Posts: 9,983
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    I honestly think we are all living a struggle. Just know that none of you are alone. In different ways we suffer. I adore you all and I’m so sorry this is the hand we’ve been Dealt…..

  • intolight
    intolight Member Posts: 2,247
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    mara, shanagirl, threetree, and anyone else who is struggling today…thinking of you special today.

    It is only 20* (degrees) here in Colorado Springs right now and is supposed to snow tonight and tomorrow. I am just not ready for it! Ended up with some sort of stomach bug or something yesterday. The DGD came home early from school Thursday and threw up all night so I guess I may have caught it from her. But I am functioning better today. I will hunker down with a good book.

  • sunshine99
    sunshine99 Member Posts: 2,699
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    Good morning, all. Lovely insomnia last night. I actually fell asleep (thanks to the wine) but woke up at 2 am and was awake until about 7. Dozed for about 30 minutes, then got up.

    mara, I hope your back gets better. Thank you for your input re: the stuff with my head. I did have a second EEG recently so I will talk to the neurologist about it. I know you get it, but I hate feeling like I'm a whiner about every little new ache or pain and don't want to be a bother to my docs. I also don't want to get an MRI every time a get a headache, but I seriously think something is going on. Sigh…

    Pocket duty for anyone who needs it. We're in the desert visiting my dad. I'm really going to miss these visits when he moves to Seattle next month. It will be a good move for him, but still… Not to mention he'll be living close to my narcissist sister who told me she wants no further contact with me.

    Love to all,

    Carol

  • sondraf
    sondraf Member Posts: 1,631
    edited October 2023
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    ThreeTree - I was given doxycycline two years ago for a sinus infection and was NOT a fan, it tweaked me out and I felt a lot worse on it. Now I just always tell them amoxycillan. But sinus issues are just always miserable!

    Mara, so sorry to see that you are having more brain investigations but admire your fortitude. You can't change what is, so you may as well soldier on with what you can. Take care of yourself!

    Sunshine - its such an easy recipe to use up odds and ends of nuts and seeds in the cupboard. Maybe ill make some tomorrow, I like homemade granola so much more than store bought. EDIT - Ive made her chocolate sea salt granola in the past and that was a super winner, I had to stop eating it right off the tray!

    Currently reclining after spending way too much time on trains and busses trying to get about the last three days. I had brunch with a friend today at some fancy vegan place that wa pretty nice (hes coeliac hence why we end up those types of places). Hoping to finally get over the last of this post nasal cold drip cough, but definitely looking forward to going NOWHERE tomorrow!

  • cookie54
    cookie54 Member Posts: 757
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    Fall and it’s splendor, just beautiful! Had to share my favorite tree in my neighborhood. Feeling grateful today🥰,

  • micmel
    micmel Member Posts: 9,983
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    Loving the foliage!! I love fall. Thanks for sharing. Looks like a mighty tree.

  • irishlove
    irishlove Member Posts: 532
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    In pockets for all that have needs. It's beautiful here today, too. I think this weekend is Hunter's Fulll Moon, hope you enjoy the beauty!

    Harvest time is my favorite, also. Beautiful red apples and pears so sweet. DSIL bought home three field pumpkins to decorate. Wish I felt like baking Grammy's pumpkin bread, but….. I use Libby's canned pumpkin. Other Grammy would get ring-neck pumpkins, peel, square, cook, puree and make the best pies, ever.

    DH is doing better. I did raise up cane about driving. Our DS called him "a tough old Ba*tard". He might be right. lol Actually he is very sweet and caring. Takes care of all of us.

    Waiting on the mail order for Colace to work on these ears. Not one pharmacy had liquid Colace, not even Wal-Mart. Hoping to tap down inflammation as it's seriously running amok, with Claritin.

    Laurel

  • cookie54
    cookie54 Member Posts: 757
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    threetree Sorry your having a rough time with your sinuses. I hope you continue ti feel better each day.

    intolight Yikes that's quite cold rather quickly, sending some warmth your way today. I know here in the Northeast it's unusually warm but dropped 25-30 degrees by Halloween. I hope you feel better soon also, stomach bugs are just awful!

    Mara I just love your attitude and toughness as always!

    sondraf Hope your enjoying your day with your feet up.

    Sunshine Ugh the sleepless nights are rough I hope you got a nap in today. Aww I'm sure your dad is gonna miss your visits with him there too. It's so hard as our parents age but as you said whatever works best.

    Irish Oh those pies sound amazing, I love to bake! Hope the colace gives you the relief you so deserve!

    mel I love the change of seasons although I'm not wishing for snow. A inch or two is ok and pretty but anymore old man winter can keep lol. Hope your family is doing ok.

    Shana I've been thinking of you, wishing you better days ahead.

    I really believe this disease is peaks and valleys or an endless rollercoaster. Scanxiety mounting as I approach November and every little ache and pain my mind is wandering. Many days the mental battle is tougher than the physical. Just try to take it day by day and tell myself it's the only life I have to live…..I know you all get it❤️

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,284
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    Beautiful foliage picture for sure.

    My back is starting to feel better finally. I know I tweaked it yesterday but it was extremely painful but it is improving so was nothing too serious.

  • goldensrbest
    goldensrbest Member Posts: 692
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    Have been away for 4 days - we drove to meet our best friends in Traverse City MI to go wine tasting. Had a fabulous time. It rained the whole time which was very sad because the fall colors were at their peak and would have spectacular if the sun had only been out. But the rain didn’t dampen our time together. This is the first time I’ve been away in so long. Did my soul wonders and helped the local economy!

    So sorry to read of your new finding Mara. I agree with others that it is obviously not emergent if your tests are in a couple weeks. But that doesn’t change the fact that there’s something going on which is just as worrysome.
    Irish - I don’t know how in the world your husband was able to get out of the hospital and drive himself home. That’s unheard of after a surgery. He must have pulled the wool over someone’s eyes.
    I’m in a bit of a panic - just b4 we left I found a hard small pea sized lump just under the skin on my mastectomy side. It’s just above the implant, a bit above a scar. Going to the MO on Wednesday and I’m sure I’ll be off to a breast surgeon. Can’t help but think it’s not a good thing. Which is a rabbit hole we’ve all visited.

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,284
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    Yes, the support of DB and SIL gets me through. I have a non contrast scan (not MRI) of the head to see if the bleed has grown or whatever. Until then, same attitude as before, not worrying til something shows up to worry about. I was more upset about tweaking a muscle in my back which is improving since Friday than the brain. It is much better today with combo tylenol and advil. I must also say that a very stubborn part of myself is showing itself as I am concerned that though SIL means well, she is overstating some regular forgetting older brain issues and forgetting chemo fog and menopause. I think next appointment will be attended by me alone and I will relay any information to DB and SIL. I think that stubborness will help me feel good about what shape I am in and that is only positive.

    Unsure what I am doing today, TV is on for ads, will likely play mobile games, watch ads on those and make money and go from there. Thinking I want to have some eggs, rice and beans. Making cats some cat food with half a can of chicken and half whiskas wet cat food. They still get smoothies occasionally as well. The road is coming along which will be quite good, no pavement but not nearly so lumpy, when back is better get back to bridge pose etc, took legs and put them over either side of bed. (Twin bed). Was a wonderful stretch.

    I hope everyone has a good day always in pockets for anyone who needs me.

  • shanagirl
    shanagirl Member Posts: 390
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    Good Morning Lovelies. Oh my goodness there are so many struggles this weekend!

    @threetree I can so relate to your sinus issues. I have them constantly from my seasonal allergies that last all year!! My GP put me on daily Loratadine which is generic Claratin., a daily nasal spray Fluticasone Propionate, and my asthma inhaler, albuterol. I still sneezed, wheeze cough, and always have a stuffed drippy nose, and sinus headaches.🤧🥴. I wonder if the treatments enhance everything to the point nothing seems to work. I hope you feel better soon.

    @mara51506 maybe that’s a good idea you keep some boundaries with SIL as you deal with your health issues. Sometimes we just have to self protect. I’m glad to see all your energy and fortitude as you deal with it all. I will be. In your pocket.🩵

    @sunshine99 Yep, insomnia sucks. I had it last night. Better now this morning since DH brought up a mug of coffee😊 helps to get thru those aches and pains in the morning.

    @cookie54 The fall foliage pics are beautiful. I love this time of year.

    @irishlove . Yes the Blood moon, Hunters Moon, Harvest Moon, whatever, was absolutely beautiful last night over the water. The pumpkins an Mums & gourds this time of year also are so pretty to look at..I just hate the diabolical Halloween decorations that people use to decorate in their yards. Monsters, witches tombstones coffins ⚰️ skeletons devils….etc., everything so creepy and demonic. I. Hate it.

  • threetree
    threetree Member Posts: 1,478
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    Mel - I totally agree that "we are all living a struggle" for sure. How and why did this happen to all us??!!

    Intolight - So very nice of you to "think special" for me yesterday. It must have helped, because I had a much better day yesterday. Not tip top health wise, but got out for a ride with a friend on a beautiful sunny day, then to the store, then out for Mexican. Clear, cold, and sunny with a little less head pain - such an improvement over the previous day.

    Sondraf - Thanks for your good thoughts re my sinus issues and for telling me your experience with doxycycline. Truly an awful drug for many of us, apparently. I think I took it in the past (high school?) and don't remember any problems, but bodies sure do change over the years and that could make a difference. I agree that amoxicillin seems to be the "kindest" of the antibiotics. Had some last summer for this same problem, but didn't read the directions correctly and wound up taking less than I was supposed to, so it seemed like it didn't do the job. Maybe I should request some again? I'm also beginning to wonder if this is more of a neck/spine issue than a "purely sinus" one. Just read how the same nerves control both sinus and neck and that's why you get pain in both places when you have a sinus infection. Rarely though, it can be the neck or spine issue that is causing the sinus and I've got lots of mets issues with my spine. Supposed to see a neurosurgeon for a follow up about possible surgery on the 6th. I'm thinking he's the one who might have the answer here about what might be causing what. Has anyone else here had or do they know about this bad spine/neck and sinus connection?

    Cookie - Thanks for the "good sinuses" thoughts; they are much appreciated. Just wish I could find an answer to this now months long problem. Also - what a fabulous tree! That is just beautiful with all it's color - brought a bright spot into my day.

  • shanagirl
    shanagirl Member Posts: 390
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  • shanagirl
    shanagirl Member Posts: 390
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  • threetree
    threetree Member Posts: 1,478
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    Shanagirl!!! Are these your paintings? Absolutely beautiful. Amazing talent!

  • shanagirl
    shanagirl Member Posts: 390
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  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,284
    edited October 2023
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    I love those pictures for sure.

    I agree about some boundaries. I will not state the boundaries, but enforce by attending appointments alone and report any results. I know if I state the boundaries, that will cause stress for them as they both promised my Mom to look after me, don't want to take that feeling away and it would not be a good scene for me. I am confident this is the best approach for all. They should not even notice anything.

    Another person I need to deal with is the wellness checker, she came back after 6 weeks and she enjoys talking ALOT. When I was initially upset about the brain results and talking, she wanted to interject but did by telling me to shut up which made me angry, she told me to shut up again on Friday. I almost blocked her right off, decided to give her one last chance, if a shut up comes out, I will block her period. I am not going to fight and argue with a volunteer, she does have a brain injury but that is no excuse either. I also plan to shorten the calls to 5 or 10 mins tops. I will let her know I do not find shut up acceptable to me period.