My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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@mara51506 Yes Good that you’re making appointment arrangements and not verbal enforcement boundaries with SIL. Much more diplomatic that way. But as far as your volunteer home check person always telling you to “shut up”😮that’s entirely incompetent and wrong. That person needs a verbal boundary enforcement. Mara that is horrible. I would be so shocked and pissed off if I were interrupted that way while trying to relate my health and pain issues or anything that has to do with the cancer condition. A home check person who talks too much and then tells you to shut up is beyond intolerable. She needs to be told to stop talking too much and not to ever tell you to shut up again. Can you report or fire her and request someone else?
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Mara I agree an I'm annoyed right there with you! Who even says shut-up about anything anymore that is beyond rude and she needs to be told. Sheesh…
Shanagirl Those pictures are beautiful!
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Shanagirl, I am giving her one more chance and reducing the amount of time on the phone, if I don't see an improvement, I will quote fire her. This kind of thing happened with the last person getting too personal as well and I got rid of her. If she sounds like she is in a bad mood, I will tell her I hope she feels better and end the call.
I did think the silent boundary setting with SIL by attending appointments and visiting my doctors is the best thing to do and I will still keep them informed. Also planning to adv the doctors as well that I do believe my symptoms and cognitive issues are overstated. Only thing to do is get checked out and back to PT once the back pain subsides. Only thing to set up is DB as my POA. I totally trust him as well. Need to set up my will as well.
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Expecting our first snow tomorrow and while I enjoy a few days of snow, I do not like being cold, at all. Forecast is a low of 28 and high of 39, ugh. We’re prepping with heaters to keep the pups warm and hot chocolate for us.
Finally over whatever virus I had and back to work on the cabin. DH put up enough wall panels to allow me to move in some desperately need bedroom furniture, just in time too since chaos makes me very cranky.
I tried to catch up but know I missed a lot, I do hope everyone doing ok, despite the setbacks.
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Illimae it started snowing early last night and has been snowing off and on all day. It is 19° right now. We have about 3 inches. I am not liking the cold yet but my DH lit the fire and I have meatballs in the crockpot so it is not all a loss. I still don't feel very well so will mostly eat rice. This is too early for me!
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No snow!!! Ladies. Too early for that. Ugh
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I hope our snow is not too high before the road is done, want to be able to take paratransit. I will be all over the property managers for them to provide salt and shovels in front and back. May provide my own shovel and salt too and make sure I don't slip and fall this winter. Winter is not typically super long. Looking forward to more walking next year as there will not be the same construction on my street.
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Good evening everyone. In pockets for all your needs and support. Thank you for the friendship and sharing pictures and stories, but most of all support for everyone.
DH had parked the car in a space at the hospital nearest the entrance. He put the handicap placard on the mirror and then put up the sun screen. The nurse releasing him asked about a ride and he told her the car was right there. He got up from the wheelchair and walked to the car. She couldn't see if anyone was in the car due to the screen. Shame on him, lol.
Labs tomorrow and then first visit with a NP, returning to the practice according to the nurses. She is very well liked and sharp. I am so anxious to get relief from the severe burning pain and pain in the spine. We both want to feel well to go "home" for Christmas. Home is Reading, PA for me. It's been 4 years and both my sister and I are not well. She can't travel and I'm marginal. So we will split up the 1000 mile drive with stops in Charlotte (DS and DDIL), Boone (Home for 23 years) and then Reading.
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I am not looking forward to the snow at all. It seems like we breeze right through fall here in upstate NY into winter. I think we have snow showers anticipated for this week…ugh.
Seeing my MO later this week (on my birthday hooray 🙄) Last month I had great scans and bloodwork which was awesome. I continue to have symptoms though that I am concerned about and am struggling with what to do. I have been having pain in my side and right stomach as well as right side of back. I also have occasional clamminess or sweatiness, not sure how to describe really, and just not feeling great. I have liver mets, obviously afraid of progression though don't know how fast that occurs. I feel like I am dismissed by my MO because the tests were good, she is chalking it up to stomach issues. The nurse said it could be side effects from the meds or anxiety. Either way, I am just frustrated and overwhelmed and will be bringing it up at my appointment. I don't know what else to do. Not really in the mood to celebrate my birthday this year, feeling a lot of emotions around it. I am usually a person who enjoys celebrating it but with this diagnosis everything has changed and a lot of thoughts and emotions are brought up. I keep thinking of how many more birthdays I might be here for and that is not something I want to be dwelling on but it is a challenge. I am going to try my hardest to stay in the moment this weekend and enjoy things and be greatful. Sorry for the spew of information and whining. I just needed to get my thoughts out there and am comfortable sharing here if that's alright.
Hope everyone has a great day.
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Brrr, frost but no snow. 21 degrees with a feels like temp of 17. Hot coffee in bed, might not step outside at all today. DH has ham & lentil soup going in the crockpot. Once it warms up, we’ll have to finish insulating the ceiling, that should help keep heat in. Pups stay warm though, they’ve got a heater just for them and a quilt to keep the warmth in.
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Ham and lentil sounds really good to me. 17F sounds pretty chilly to me as well. Staying in with a warm meal should hit the spot.
I am at home awaiting Amazon, cats want their food, road is getting better but not done. If it dried up, could go out over weekend as no big machines to navigate through.
I am making chicken alaking chunky soup, will store it and use as a topping for different meals. Need to eat rest of the beef pot pie that I purchased. Will figure out seasonings for the chunky soup as it tastes pretty bland to me. We will see what I use.
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keris, whine away…that's what we are here for! Sorry you are feeling so down and crappy. I hope things perk up a little for you so you can enjoy your birthday. It is well earned! I have stomach issues and side pain off and on all the time but it is just meds and sitting too much. Hope they improve for you.
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Good Morning💗
@mara51506 you are a good kind soul and I know you will work thru the issues you face with your home check rude “shut up”person and your appointments being more private regarding SIL. Strong and kind is ho you are Mara🩵
@illimae ugh snow!1 I think it’s too soon. We were all just dealing with the brutal heat during summer. Stay Warm with the lentil 🍲 and everyone stay safe in the snow and on the ice! Don’t fall!
@irishlove I’ll be in your pocket and hope your labs go well. I’m sorry you have such burning pain in the spine.hope it resolves before Christmas and your NP can help you with the pain.
@keris113 Sorry you are not feeling so great, and worried about it. Don’t be sorry about whining or spewing about it. We are all here to support each other and especially when we need to whine about our feelings and what we’re dealing with. Please always feel comfortable about sharing all of your thoughts and insecurities and anything else here with this diagnosis. Stage IV cancer sucks…..physically, emotionally, and sexually. We deal with all of it together here girl. Whine on sweetheart.🥰
@intolight tell your DH I love that he got the fireplace going and a crockpot full of meatballs for you to be warm and cuddled during this snow ❄️ weather. Enjoy, stay warm♥️
@cookie54 hey there Jersey Girl waving Hi 👋 to you and @micmel 💗
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@goldensrbest Thinking of you and hoping that your finding is adhesion related. We all know that rabbit hole all too well. Hopefully it is filled with rabbits.
Waving hello to all. In your pocket for any and all needs. Gotta admit I'm not a fan of rollercoasters. lol Hope everyone is feeling well and staying warm. Saw the chance of snow in Michigan area. It warmed up to 88 here today.
Went for labs and NP visit and surprise, in walks a temp. MO from Key West, FL. Had experience with MS patients, too. So likable. On loan for 60 days, but he gave me time and really cared. Got my MRI scheduled for tomorrow and he also ordered bone scan/pet scan set for Nov. 11th. Can't recall which one he said. But we talked about the ongoing burning severe pain and he is ordering Cymbalta. I told him if I need radiation, that's fine, otherwise I'm calling our friend, a welder. LOL
Happy Halloween,
Laurel
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kerris Of course you can spew all you want here we all understand. I agree birthdays are very emotional as I have the same thought. I actually have the same thought on every holiday and other celebrations. It's so hard to not go there, I just try to move on from those thoughts quickly. Hoping your issue are all SE related, it's just so hard not to be paranoid. I wish you a happy and peaceful birthday.
Irish The temp sounds like they mean business and that's great. Happy to hear they were attentive to your needs.
Shanagirl Hey, good to see ya here, hope it's a good week for ya!
Hope all you ladies dealing with snow and frigid temps are inside safe, warm and cozy. Rest easy tonight ladies, hope everyone is able to catch lots of zzzz's….
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Keris, I hope today finds you feeling better, if not in your pocket, we are the people to let out the stress and bad feelings to. No one will tell you to stop whining and if they did we would get them.
I did tell the wellness checker that I did not like the shut ups of last week and that if she was not feeling well, either don't call and look after herself or just say lets keep it short. I did suggest shorter calls anyway, she apologized and seemed amenable, I told her I am letting it go no, no need to relive. The private appointments will work better to set boundaries I do not need to announce.
Halloween already, hard to believe last day of October. Lots of little bits of snow to show up which will still melt but getting to be that time of year. Scary how fast the year goes.
I am unsure what to do today, SIL had suggested shopping on Tuesdays now as she thought I was too tired on Thursday but I believe they will be handing out candy to kids tonight, will still get dressed as usual. I am completing laundry, I accidentally left some wash cloths in the dryer without drying, being damp they went stinky so rewashing after wiping out the dryer. I am not upset about redoing laundry.
My next app't to do a CT scan of my head to see if the bleeding is same, worse or resolving is Nov 10. I will see my doctor after that. I am not worried at this point as one of you pointed out, if it was an emergency, something would would have been done immediately. Just keep an eye on it. My mind is converting to a deal with things one at a time as they come up as the worry just sucks out my spirit and my new saying is don't tell me what I can't do. I feel more or that every day, within reason and being safe of course.
Finished up all meat pies and soup, beans, eggs, rice and pasta will be my mainstays, making them different will be easy I think and I have been watching a lot of youtube dollar tree meals. I would sub in Walmart since we don't carry food. I also belong to Cheap Meal Ideas as well which helps give me ideas.
I hope everyone has a good day, if you need me I will be in your pocket, in my own to finish chores, tv ads for cash, muted of course, watch computer while tv running those and figuring out bills for next month since tomorrow is Noc 1st.
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It is snowing! Not supposed to have any accumulation but just enough to make the morning commute more challenging. So glad those days are long gone.
Irish - so glad the stars were in alignment and you have a temp MO with MS background. Hope he can help you find some relief.
Mae - that soup sounds perfect.
Keris - I hate when health care providers attribute our physical feelings to anxiety. Such a bunch of bs. Feel better.Waving hello to all!
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Cancer is a bunch of BS!!!!
thinking of you all ! Hugs !
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Mel, hugs right back at you, yes cancer is some BS.
Checked with older DB house, SIL said he has the flu, no shopping this week, I told her I was sorry to hear that and said I was sending thoughts for it to go away fast.
I microwaved a hashbrown, put in chopper when cooled off, added 1/4 cup black beans, little wheatbran, cheese and 2 eggs. Ran them through until smooth, fried in a pan. Scooped on to a plate, added a sprinkle of chicken broth powder, I like that for a seasoning and some salt and steak seasoning sprinkle, bound with mayo acting as a sauce, it was filling and really very good. Not sure what is for supper but happy with the brunch I had.
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Good evening everyone. In pockets for all of your needs. Snow??? Oh gosh so early. Beautiful here today, so we put the top down on the Mustang to go for my MRI of lumbar area.
Lovely English Gent Tech. He just couldn't find a vein 3 times. I showed him one that doesn't look like much, but worked in the past. Tada, number 4 did it. He was so kind, apologetic and played some 50's music for me. Happy to get home and see GD dressed for Halloween. Starting Cymbalta tonight. I recall @cure-ious saying Cymbalta carries anti-cancer properties. I'm hoping it clears this burning pain, which the MO said could be peripheral neuropathy. Hmm.. I'm thinking nerve ending pain.
Ok ya'll have a good day tomorrow and may we all find peace and pain-free days ahead.
Laurel
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I've been traveling, but trying to read all the posts. I can't possibly respond to all, but know that I am thinking of each of you and hanging out in pockets, where needed.
Candy - it was good to read your update (days ago) and you seem to be more upbeat lately.
Mara - I'm sorry to read of your latest issue with brain bleed. I have to say I am impressed with how you work through and resolve your feelings and come up with a plan for whatever comes up - medical, construction, over-worrying SIL, and grumpy wellness checkers! I think you said you weren't good at it in the past, but you certainly are now.
Keris - this is the place to come and whine. Nobody else gets it like us.
Mel - did you get a dose reduction? I'm hoping your mouth issues are getting better. It so scary when your dog is on the loose. I'm glad Theo just had a little runaround time.
I'm loving all the pictures.
There are so many more, I just can't think.
My biopsy results are in. I posted this in the de novo thread...There were scarce active cancer cells in the sample, consistent with "residual or quiescent" metastatic disease. There are not enough active cells to warrant genomic testing. So...the tumor markers and scans indicate a minor change, but it appears to be slow moving. MO is not writing off my current treatment yet. We're going to wait and do another PET scan and MRI in February. I call it a win.
Waving to Goldens, Chicagoan, Illimae, emac, intolight, Shanagirl, irishlove, Cookie, and everyone else
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Well, a light dusting of snow here. I am debating buying my own shovel to keep a path outback for myself. Was debating buy my own salt but I don't want liability if an animal eats it. We go up to warmer temps in a couple of days so it will not hang around. Just want road done so I can paratransit and there is still UBER as well. Going to email property managers that it might be time to send us shovels and salt and remind them of my disability. Not interested in falling this winter.
Not going out today, some light house work, money making, finishing bill payments and that is about it. Meals will still feature beans, or eggs or pasta etc but I am thinking pancake and sausage today made in sandwich maker, use butter to cook pancake in as a non stick but flavour addition. We will see.
Back is getting much better, kept bending forward and touching floor in chair periodically which is loosening it up and was able to pick up heavy kitty litter to fill their box although I squeeze glutes before lifting to remove strain. I've also stopped taking pain meds. I do find I am needing more immodium for digestive issues cropping up by surprise. Unsure what I am eating causing that. Not big D. I am planning to take my immodium prescription before meals but cut in half, make sure extra fiber included so I can control things down there. I still do the digestive enzymes as well, don't like probiotics so will post if there are more changes.
I hope everyone has a good day and in all pockets who need me, hopping in my own housework done.
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Hi all. I do continue to read along about what everyone is going thru, reports of current scans, etc.
Thanks, SeeQ for mentioning me by name.
I am doing ok, I guess. Scans are stable from Oct 20, as I posted before. I am doing the dose reduction of Lynparza. Too early to really tell yet, but the nausea seems a smidge better. We will continue to monitor. I scan again in January.
My arthritis is really acting up. My hands (thumbs) are swollen and hurting. And my left big toe is swollen and painful. And of course, my hip is bad (arthritis and needing a replacement). Good grief, at 53 years old!!!
I was talking to a friend from church on the phone the other day. She said when she does see me,, I go to church in-person periodically,, she said I don't seem like my old self. I used to be dubbed "perky". She said she wants to see the perky me back.
I don't know if that perky person is still in there. These 6 years of cancer, treatments, and now arthritis issues has really worn me down. I miss the old me too.
Sorry SeeQ for not being "upbeat" in this post. Haha.
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Candy, at least you show up periodically. If people have any understanding, I don't think they would ask for a perky you right now unless other things like SE, arthritis and your other things as well. Even if they are meaning well, a statement like that may bring up sad feelings for you. You be you no matter what.
I came back to mention, cats got their smoothie, just water and wet food put through the magic bullet, they go crazy for it. Have to just space out their meals so I don't overdo the stomach. Going to do a couple of them I think along with the dry food, keep them full longer.
I am also having a mcdonalds breakfast again, nobody does it like they do and it will be effectively free due to watching TV ads, street seems quieter as well. Gives me a chance to look out at the road, it is quiet here, not hearing so much machinery.
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Candy~I could not be perky if I tried. I understand completely what you’re saying. Sometimes people mean well. I am sorry your arthritis is acting up. I’ve been Noticing some aches in my hand joints lately.
I have been Reduced to 75mgs on ibrance I’m hoping hoping for a difference. So far so good !
good to see you Mara. Cookie, Irish, Mae, Goldens,sunshine, emac,SeeQ,intolight, belle, Denny,dodgersgirl, Keris, mkestral, I’ve been dealing with some family issues and if Ive missed someone. It’s not on purpose! Hello lurkers !
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seeq Glad to hear that your cancer is slow growing, I agree we take it as a win. Enjoy your travels.
Cany Yea in my head I would be saying I miss my old perky self too! She meant well but of course like everyone else don't realize the daily struggles.
Mara You're such a good cat mom, they're lucky to have you!
Was a nice Halloween night, sat outside with the firepit to give out candy. My DH does a big set up on the front lawn with moving spooky things every year. He enjoys it and the neighborhood looks forward to see his display as he changes themes each year. Was fun but needed to stop and get a Dunkin on the way to treatment this morning. Needed a little extra caffeine, the office was hopping and behind schedule. I typically like the afternoon appointments because it's quieter.
Wishing all a good day.
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I decided to stick my head out the front door, saw that curbing is being installed so asked if they would be done by December, the workers said asphalt should be going down next week, I was so happy to hear this you would nt believe.
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Good evening all you nice folks. In pockets for all your needs. So very happy for stable Candy. Well I use to have "perky" boobs, but alas they deflated so it is. I bet you are still a very sweet gal, but one can't force feeling good. I've always liked that saying "until you have walked a mile in my shoes, you can't really understand".
Mel, I hope your Mom is finding peaceful days. How I wish you had other options to be with her, but she knows how much you love her. Perhaps a sweet card, letter, flowers would brighten up her days.
Brr outside. Going down to 55 here in Palm Coast. I know, try the weather up North. This will warm up in a day or two. I actually like a bit of a breeze and not so darn hot.
Night two on Cymbalta. Fortunately I looked up drug interactions and found I can't take that with Zoloft. So I stopped the Zoloft and I already feel less neuropathy and nerve ending pain. Hope I'm not messing with the depression factor, but I see Cymbalta is an AD with added help for pain.
Does anyone else have to fill out Pfizer Patient Assist. for Ibrance? I rec'd the 8 page form in the mail today. I am stressed and confused and worried that I will not be accepted for the program, again. Pray Homeowners' Insurance in FLA this year has really jumped and once DH starts his chemo, oh boy. I noticed car insurance has gone up more then usual, too. Back years ago, I was on Copaxone for MS. The copay was horrendous, so I would inject every other day to save money. I found out that the efficacy between every day and every other day had a tiny difference of .01%. I always wondered why the FDA let them (Teva Corp) get away with daily dosing.
Please have a good, pain-free night sweet ones.
Laurel
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What doseage are you taking ? For ibrance. I have like over a months supply of 100mg of them not being used. Just throwing that out there !
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@candy-678 ugh you just can’t get a break with those clueless church ladies and their thoughtless comments. They all know you have cancer and in treatment so she should be more empathetic if she sees that you are “not perky”. I don’t know how you do it, Candy. You re very patient and kind even though they can be so thoughtless and mean in their comments…..
Hi everyone. Good morning. In pocket duty today. Right now too tired to type and respond to everyone. DH hasn’t brought up th coffee yet…
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