My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Intolight - I want to offer my sincere condolences to you and yours regarding the loss of your brother. He must have been so moved to hear you on the phone, even if he couldn't respond. It was nice that the two of you were able to have that time together. Peace and a hug.
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Into light, So sorry to hear you've lost your older brother. May his memories bring you peace.
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Well sunny here today, going to walk around the neighborhood more than once. Bills for the month need to paid, tighter budget on silly stuff use frugality to my advantage.
Getting into bed with my step bench is a game changer. Feels safe for me, have not done bridge pose yet since nature called but did manage to pull my bodyweight into sitting, will do 5 starting tomorrow. That bedladder is cool.
Laundry, money earning are my morning. Unsure what meals look like, many different options to do. I'll post when I decide.
Peace and comfort for the people grieving or sick with SE from drugs or disease, in your pockets. Hoping for a good or better day for everyone.
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Emac pocket duty for your infusion. I’m glad it’s working.
intolight sorry for your loss.
I hope everyone has a good weekend
take care all
Tanay
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Hello ladies~ I hope you’re all doing okay and having mild pain or pain free day today. We gave Theo a bath and got a few good laughs from that. He’s so tiny when wet. Cracks me up. So I was thankful for that laugh. I’m in everyone’s pocket for support. Love to all!
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@intolight to echo everyone else, my condolences on your loss. That call must have been both difficult but loving, and he was able to pass knowing everyone special in his life loved him. Take care of yourself.
@goldensrbest and @emac877 I love the weather reports because between the two of you I know how hot/cold/wet/snowy/major storms/tornadoes are going on in real time near family :) And @emac877 hope that Enhertu keeps doing its thing and dries up that lung. I can see why they want to wait, but the conservative oncology teams (like mine too, I guess) sometimes I wish they would just get a move on already.
Been thinking of @ninetwelve lately - has anyone heard from her? It did sound at her last message that perhaps she was ready to let go of treatment.
My hospital has wood flooring in the main passageway, like most office buildings here - something to do with being better for shoe heels. Anyway, it makes an absolute ruckus and you can kinda hear someone coming up fast behind you, but the hallways are REALLY narrow so there is no place to 'pull over' and let others pass or even not brush someone if they are passing going the other way. If there is a wheelchair going one direction - forget it. So you get anxious with a cane and moving slowly because you can hear all the other shoe heels coming and slowing down. Ugh - I feel you ladies!
Tonight we are trying some of these plant based ready meals I got delivered, see if they would make a good addition to our freezer and alleviate issues around shopping/cooking and eating enough vegetables and whole grains we've been having. So far they are really tasty considering I just tossed them in the oven, a bit expensive but for the value, high quality ( no preservatives or crap, I checked the labels) and free delivery, Im more than happy to have one of these once every week or ten days or so. Good for emergencies!
Hope everyone has a good weekend and the weather is decent enough for whatever you decide to do!
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Hi ladies in Mel's room. Hope everyone is doing good. Intolight, I'm so very sorry for the loss of your brother. How sweet that you were able to speak with him before his passing. Emac, sounds like your new treatment is doing it's thing. So very grateful that you may have found the right treatment. Mel, glad your little buddy gave you something to laugh about. Our two keep us entertained.
Well, never guess what I saw just 15 minutes ago? A huge bobcat crossed my yard into the neighbors yard. I quickly alerted neighbors. Some have cats and some have small dogs in the neighborhood. Booty are outdoor cat is inside, because it rained a bit and she hates rain.
Well, I officially have a new M.O. Only by video, but that's ok with me. He was wonderful. Patient and vested in my wellbeing. He ordered a new pet scan, contacted a R.O. to review my records as I've never had radiation (base of spine is quite painful) and is trying to get a lymphadema physical therapist lined up. He gave me time (scheduled for 15 minutes) to ask questions and discuss meds. I think the call lasted 25 minutes and never once was I rushed. He said he's my M.O. going forward. Not just a fill-in, so hurray.
In pockets for scans and life's needs in general.
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Irish ~ I’m jealous! I need a good MO!
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Have not seen ninetwelve. I hope everything is ok with her..
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Sondra, glad you are enjoying the meals, premade but not fastfood sounds really good, enjoy those plant based meals.
Irish, glad you are happy with the new MO and that you are looking forward to you dealing with him.
Mel, I can just imagine the laughs you all had bathing little Theo, that definitely would be very cut.
Not sure what I am doing today, may take the bus to the mall, take a lap then go to Walmart to look for the battered fish I enjoy. We will see, can do it on Sunday as well. My stepbench next to the bed idea for getting into bed was a good one. Feels quite safe sitting down and bring legs over from the added height. Bed ladder feels like a pull up muscle building exercise. When I want to sit up, just use it to pull bodyweight up. I do multiple pulls now, on five pulls for this week, will do 6 next week, arms feel really muscular. I also marched while doing the bing search as well on my phone. Use Bing rewards to get gift cards.
I will also do tv ads for money to add to my budget as well as my mobile game for extra money. Play for a bit of cash, paid for watching ads. I will never make millions but if I can save money for groceries or whatever else, the better off I will be.
I also have discovered wonderful mug meals and desserts to make up. This will help use up the pancake mix. I just make a small amount of mix and water, add an egg or whatever I want to, mix it up and cook in microwave for 1 min. Dessert could be a pancake with some maple syrup in it then adding a bit of coolwhip also infused with maple. Can be savoury or sweet. Today I will be having an egg, bit of pancake mix, black beans chopped up with croutons for the ground beef texture, beefless ground as well as cheese. Small amounts of each, season when I take it out. Make some sour cream mayo as a topping by grinding up some of the sour cream and onion chips I bought. I also enjoy grinding up ketchup chips to mix with mayo as well. Use this if having popcorn as a topping as well. I must also remember that I can put an extra mug in, just really easy and quick for me, can see peanut butter sandwich pancake mix as well, fluffy almost like a cake.Less dishes for me as well.
I hope everyone has a good day and in pockets for everyone else who needs it as well.
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Used two mugs. Each were same ingredients. One egg, black beans, not chopped and cheese with egg mixed in. Put the mugs in microwave for 2 min 30 seconds. On a plate, put some broccoli slaw, mixed the mug mixtures in once cooled, added some taco strips for salad and added a spoonful of caesar, it was all very good and quick to prepare with fewer dishes to clean up. That's a good bonus.
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Hello all. I am still plugging along.
I go back for scans mid April. I am still on Lynparza/ Lupron/ Xgeva. I still have the GI issues and the fatigue. So not much new for now.
I am still struggling with going out in crowds, ie church services and socializing. Our area is battling the "stomach bug" right now, and several are sick with that. And we are having some Influenza A cases. And, of course, Covid cases. I still feel it is prudent to be cautious. I did go to a church ladies meeting, in which there were 8 in attendance. I was the only one masked. And, in fact, one lady asked me to drop my mask so she could see my whole face. ?????!!!!! I did lower the mask, smiled big, and placed the mask back on. Good Grief.
Sorry to read of the losses, struggles, and problems you all are facing. But I rejoice in the good reports that I read on here.
Take care.
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Candy, glad you are here, good to see you. I do not blame you for being cautious in public. I had influenza A at end of Jan into Feb. Caused me lightheadedness which contributed to 3 falls within a week, that was fun and general exhaustion. Took Tylenol and advil in the day and finally fevers lifted up. Was not fun at all, flu shot next year for sure. Ir has been years being that sick. Lasted maybe a week. If I feel lightheaded again, will walk around with two canes for balance in the house.
Weird that the lady wanted you to lower your mask but you were kind to do it for a second, bless you for doing that.
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Rain storms blowing in all through the night, very grateful for my warm and dry cozy little house. Had a gardener come out to estimate how much to weed and trim everything, as I haven't been able to do it with my back, and won't be able to do it for likely another couple of months while still healing after surgery. He gave me an extremely reasonable price! Nice younger man, chatty in a kind way. Glad to hire him and am looking forward to a tidy yard that I can go outside to with a cup of tea (if it ever stops raining, that is).
Lots of tears lately, missing my husband and being still in some pain with my back healing is a hard combination. Reading Pema Chodron's book, How We Live Is How We Die, as well as several psalms that are calming and comforting. Also going to watch some of the new episodes of Somebody Feed Phil, which is always delightful.
Thinking of you all, grateful for this community, wish we could hang out in person, and yes, I would be masked! (Lol, phone auto-corrected "masked" to "naked"! I will not be naked, silly phone.)
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sf-cakes, auto-correct can be hilarious! Sometimes, when I read a strange post, I assume that auto-correct was involved.
My heart hurts for you missing your husband. I can't even imagine.
I will look for that book. It looks good.
Love and hugs to all,
Carol
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sf-cakes, praying comfort for you as you miss your DH. Grief is hard!
Mara, your mugs idea is great!
Sunshine, on Medicare I do not have any co-pays except for pharmacy. Hopefully yours works that way too.
I am going to try to zoom my DBs funeral today. Strange, but at least I can do that.
Love and hugs for a great weekend.
Chris
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Well, I think I mentioned somewhere in my last post that we do not typically get snow on the valley floor. This storm had other ideas. This happened this morning...
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Emac - Great photo and thanks for sharing it. Looks like a nice day to cozy in also with something like hot chocolate. Also very glad to hear that you are having some success with the new drug regimen, and I hope it continues. You've had way too rough of a time lately and my heart goes out to you. I've been following along. I try to keep up with things here, but am not always up to posting responses. Enjoy that snow and have a lovely weekend.
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Hello all the ladies and possibly gents that only cruise thru Mel's place. Sf-cakes, I'm sorry that grief has overwhelmed you so much. I think it's so unpredictable and I so wish I could hug you. May you heal well, may your garden bring you joy. I love tea and the idea of sitting outside to enjoy it in a beautiful garden. Emac, hello and hope you can enjoy that snowfall. It looks like cotton balls. Mel, I'd share this new M.O. with you, if I could. My old M.O. once told me that if I ever wanted his second opinion after he left, just do a video call set up. He still hears from patients from the great northwest. Gosh he's now with Cleveland Clinic in Vero Beach. Hi Tanya. Good to see you. Mara, those mug meals sound so good and easy.
I'm coming up on my one year MBC anniversary. It's only been the last month that I've settled down about this diagnosis. Thanks to meds and a therapist and physchiatrist who figured out the proper meds. I had a doctor from India that filled in for my regular hospitalist when I was first diagnosed. He told me that in his country the elderly (over 60) do not usually accept treatment when the cancer is this advanced. Then along comes a M.O., with east Indian heritage, and he said nonsense this is treatable. I was in a horrible funk and thought I was too late and not up to fighting, as I had chemo for MS and MS for 22 years. But the granddaughter and that M.O. made me see that I may still have some time to make memories.
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@eleanora Yes! Those SE’s from Fasoldex & Xgeva Injections are awful aren’t they? I feel they are accumulative and last most of the month. Like you I start to get anxious when my next monthly appointment is due. I have to get them on Monday, along with Labwork and visit with my oncologist. I dread it because it’s always such a long day with the hour and a half drive each way, and waiting in the waiting rooms and then getting stuck with needles for blood test and treatment injections. My blood tests always are good in the normal range. But those 3 injections leave me with. Sore lumps on my buttocks, that get very itchy afterwards. I started reading about the. Side effects of Xgeva, and @eleanora I have virtually every single one😲, and this last month I started with a new SE.,… Itching so much that extends on mmy. Spine and ribs both sides. Poor DH has been the best back scratcher. So I looked up the SE’s and there it was…itching. Im going to mention it. To my Onc.
@mara51506 . You do have talent my girl. Look how efficient you are with your meals and nutrition, you are great at organizing your schedule throughout the day, and knowing how to deal with technical issues with your computer and getting out and walking is a wonderful thing you do, no matter what the weather is like. You are a talented smart little cookie.🩵😉…..oh and speaking of cookie, I have to say HI there @cookie54 . how are you doing with all this freezing rainy weather? I hope you are warm and comfy there Jersey Girl.🥰Thinking of you dear @emac877. Wishing all a nice calme warm and restful night and especially you dear @sondraf hoping you enjoy your body pillow and get some pain free sleep tonight, and more than only 3 hours💜. Hugs to everyone here tonight. (((((((♥️🩵💜💙🤍🩷🖤)))))))
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Photo on the family WhatsApp group showed snow at my brother's place (south of you I'm guessing @emac877) is about one Jack Daniel's bottle deep and they were due another 4 to 8 inches yet. Bet the Tahoe resorts are thankful this year!
@shanagirl well Its 415am here in London and I'm still wide awake and trying different pillow structures to find something that will let me sleep. Sitting up side of the bed reading i keep falling asleep mid sentence but laying down? Nope! I just did my hip pt exercises and was thinking about cleaning out/rearranging some of my drug drawers. This prednisone taper is a real beast. But the body pillow is great for the mornings when I do finally pass out!
I also have the monthly onc visit Monday with the same two injections, but this will be my first time having them together. I've already started the Clarityn but expect this to be fairly uncomfortable for a few days.
Alright, back to the pillow stacks!
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Morning ladies hope everyone slept decent last night. Was a miserable day yesterday with heavy rain so looking forward to the sunshine today!
shanagirl Yesterday was definitely an indoors day for me! I will definitely get out for some sunshine therapy today. Maybe in DH is up for it we'll take a ride down the shore probably Ocean City and have lunch. Hope you are enjoying painting again!
Mara I love those mug recipes especially the desserts! Just enough to satisfy a sweet craving.
sf-cakes Sending you a hug as you continue to grieve such a big loss. I'm sure none of us could truly understand the sadness unless we experienced it also. That book sounds interesting I think I will check it out. Glad to hear you have some help for your garden.
emac Beautiful pic especially when you can just stay in and watch it. Hope your feeling well.
sondraf Hope you get some real rest this week as you taper. In your pocket for a good visit tomorrow.
Irish Glad you found another MO who has a fresh perspective. "Elderly" over 60, sheesh, that's crazy! I feel like it also took me a year to settle in too. Glad to hear you are settling in, you have certainly faced may challenges . I admire your strength.
intolight Glad at least you can zoom the services and feel a part of things.
Wishing everyone a peaceful day.
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I'm with you about the "elderly at 60" being ridiculous. I think I will describe myself as that when I reach 80 - if I reach 80 😂, but I bet there are some 80 year olds on this site who would argue with me about that!
Nice to see you 😊. I still mask in any indoor setting where others are present unless it's family members I know are safe. Don't eat indoors at restaurants. I am also often the only one with a mask and feel ornery about comments. One woman told me "You make me feel uncomfortable". I looked her right in the eye and said "You could make me dead". Guess I didn't make a friend.
Happy to hear that you will have a lovely garden to enjoy. Being outside is so good for the soul. Sending you warm hugs as you miss your DH.
Hooray for a great MO. Hope he helps improve your multiple issues.
I had my most recent injections on Friday and they kept me for an hour for observation. A little light headed in the beginning, but it went away. No other problems. I had been reminded to take Claritin the day before and morning of, and to add Pepcid AC. It is an additional histamine blocker. Will be doing that from now on.
Those steroid tapers are miserable 😖. I was given various sleeping pills - nothing worked. I made a calendar page with the last date circled and used markers to gleefully obliterate every day that passed! Do you have a comfortable chair to sit in for your middle of the night reading that would support you if you fall asleep?
Hoping everyone has a pleasant and painless day.
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Sondra, I will be glad for you when your taper is done. I had a hard time after my WBR tapering down to. Was so glad to be done steroids. In your pocket telling you boring stories.
Shanagirl, thank you for the compliment. I just look up stuff and try it out, with the mugs, the meal is super quick and good. Not sure what I am having next will either stuff microwaved out on a plate or mug meal for the ability to be fast. Need to be strategic about the shopping, paid main things that were charged rent, internet and mobile phone but I can be.
I am also tidying up my recycle bins inside and cutting the cardboard to fit the wee bins. Cannot get a big bin that would not be stolen by neighbours or people who come to work on the building. Lots of work under way but I will finish it today. May just do some of it and then put the rest into the closet which is not used for anything and do more for next time, really no rush on it. The building has said we are not allowed to toss bags out. Hence the wee 10 gallon can for me. Take it out empty and then bring my wee garbage bag to put in. I usually only have one to toss as well which is good I was throwing the can down stairs but realized I would simply wreck the garbage can.
I decided to make a combo plate. I cooked up the small meat pie in the microwave, got a bit of pasta cooking, and will be adding the beans. I will take the beans, chop with the croutons and add some beefless ground. Heat up for 90 seconds then add some garlic powder and vegetable combo seasoning. Put in a spoonful of the pot pie and add caesar dressing on top with salt, should taste really good and be filling.
I hope everyone has a good day and in pockets for those missing loved ones, dealing with pain in your body and life in general, SE's and so on.
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@eleanora, I LOVE your comment, “You could make me dead.” What is wrong with people? Maybe say, “I’m highly contagious” and then cough loudly. I guess I’ve been lucky with my injections. They hurt going in, but I have no after effects other than a slightly sore bum afterwards. I read a funny description a few days ago. It was from Abigail Johnson on her, “No Half Measures” blog. She talked about “side effucks.” Sorry if that’s inappropriate—I just thought it was funny and so true!
I have my MO appointment, injection, and infusion on Wednesday. I’ve had a persistent headache for over a month now. It’s not getting better, and I’m afraid of what might be growing in there. My MO is good about listening to me and ordering tests, but I don’t know how this will work with switching to Medicare.
I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who thinks mara’s concoctions are interesting. I do think of you, mara, when I want to try a new recipe, and thought of you when getting into bed. Our bed is high and I have to sort of scoot my bum backwards to get into bed at night.
Waving hello to all. It’s sunny at the moment. Have had crazy weather (for San Diego) recently. DH tracks the weather at Mammoth Mountain. They shut down yesterday, due to snow, wind, and whiteout conditions. He’s planning on driving up there on Wednesday after my appointments and will ski on Thursday and Friday.
SIL is visiting from Michigan. Guess I can’t complain about the weather here. When she and her husband were visiting one time, he laughed at my comment when I said, “It’s brisk out there this morning.” I guess it’s all about perspective. (Love them both, by the way.)
Carol
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Sunshine, I am glad you are enjoying family time and temperature perspective, what you are used vs what they would be used to. I think they are about the same temperatures as Southwestern Ontario where I am from.
The meal I made above, scoop of meatpie, handful of pasta and the beans chopped up were too much for my stomach, had to put away half, already mulling what to make with it. Probably crack an egg and fry up in the frypan with cheese and whatever else. Noted to myself that there was no point grinding up potato chips and adding them in due to they just get lost in the flavour of the beans and croutons. Meat pie was still tasty though.
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Eleanora- I love your response "you could make me dead". I am floored by people anymore. I never realized how insensitive people could be until I got cancer. People have no filters to their mouths. I wish they would try walking in our shoes for even a minute.
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I had just hit the post comment button, with a long post, and when I went to see that my message posted, it hadn't. I swear I must have hit the button at exactly the same time that Candy did. Maybe the system can only handle one at a time in a case like that. Don't think I have the energy to redo it all, at least for now. So very frustrating! Hi all anyway.
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We are so sorry to hear that, @threetree. I know that I have had an issue while using my Mac when I tried scrolling while typing a comment while on a moderation shift and my computer registered it as me telling the browser to go back to the previous page and lost comments that way. I lost everything I had written, and was very frustrated myself. Not ideal, but you could try clicking on the "Save Draft" button and then trying "Post Comment." I'm not sure what happened when you submitted your comment, but I will mention it to the other moderators so we can be aware if anyone else has this issue, and refer it to our tech department.
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Good morning ladies. Hope that everyone is safe and sound from the snowstorm. Sounds like it was a record breaking event. This week there will be record breaking high temps. in a lot of the nation. Of course that could cause some severe weather, so batten down the hatches.
Not much to share except nervous about radiation. I don't need any more medical problems, so I'm worried that the radiation could affect bowel and bladder area. I just know I feel I need to address the ongoing problem at the base of the spine that spreads down and out. Waiting on insurance approval for the appt.
I haven't been out of the house in weeks. Just can't find the stamina needed to go out. I guess I'm becoming a recluse as I have no desire to push myself. It's bike week, so not a good week for locals to go out. Well I have g.p. appt. next, week along with pet scan the next day so that should get me out and lunch at the hospital. In pockets for all needs and hugs to all.
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