My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Intolight, love when you can be acclimated. I remember when I had a job as a teen cleaning up the mall foodcourt and sometimes bathrooms and wore shorts all year round, shorts and a winter coat even though I usually took the bus home. I still have no issue with cold, just snow and especially ice but will buy pet and concrete safe deicer and shovel as needed for myself. Make it easier for garbage and getting paratransit as needed.
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Mara - Glad that the new washer business has all gone pretty smoothly. You should be set now for awhile.
Intolight - It is interesting how people in different locations react with weather situations. I remember going to San Diego with a friend, one April during college (we lived in Seattle), and when we got there it was in the upper 70's and sunny every day; just lovely. We stayed with my aunt who lived in a condo place with a pool, so my friend and I hung out by the pool a lot and we were wearing our summer clothes, etc. For us that April in San Diego was like July in Seattle, and we thought it was a real treat. There were no "natives" using the pool or spending time outside at all, and in fact, they were all talking about how they couldn't wait for summer to come, so they'd "finally" have some good weather. One lady who lived there, did come out and talk with my friend and me at one point, as we were sitting by the pool and she asked us if we were visiting from Alaska! She said some were wondering because we seemed to be enjoying the weather and pool so much and they could tell we weren't locals at all.
Well, going to get my fulvestrant shots tomorrow - on Halloween no less, and my late mother's "would be" 101st birthday. I've thought it odd how all of this came together on the same day. My next injections which will be at the end of November, have also coincidentally been scheduled for my father's "would be" birthday. Pretty weird if you ask me. Can't help but wonder if there isn't some sort of "message from the universe" there.
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hello ladies~. I’m writing to let you all know that I’m going to be taking a break from posting for a while. I have too much sadness and things going on in my life right now I can’t escape anything. I need some time to deal with some family things. I’m just spent and dried up mentally, I need sometime to put somethings first. I’ll pop in occasionally to see my favorite ladies. But I just don’t want to continually bring down everyone already struggling, with my very negative attitude and feelings right now. I just can’t win. My love to all. Be strong daily. Mara. You watch over things! Take care of the living room for a while please?
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@micmel I'm so sorry to hear you and your family are going through difficult times. Take all the time you need as we all totally understand. I will pray for strength for you and your family to carry you through. We are always here for you and truly care❣️Wrapping you in a giant hug❌⭕️
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Mel, I am sorry things are difficult for you, yes I will take care of things, I like to post and offer support beyond the chores etc. In your pocket as well sending love and hugs. Come back when you are ready.
Today will be more of a hard work day. I have the huge box to break down and put out for recycling. Ultimately, it will be fine but probably need a lot of breaks, I think this week looks more like cardboard as I bought more cat litter. Loving the lighter stuff as well, so much easier to manage. Did some budget boosting to get half off the cat dental food they need which is always good. May play games for cash as well and order the cat dental food tonight.
Laundry on the go, new one is quite a bit bigger and can fit a lot of stuff, a really large towel did not even approach 1/2 full. I also like the lint catcher inside but still using mine too, amazing how much lint comes out. With the large capacity, I can do fewer loads which is good.
Edit on the food. First meal was all bean and lentil with some peas, did not measure them, chopped up the beans, lentils and chips first, emptied onto a plate, after that took some croutons and a few chips, pulsed in the chopper and spread out on plate. Microwaved for 90 seconds. Seasoned with sour cream and onion seasoning and salt and added some mayo as a binder, super filling and tasted good.
I hope all have a good day, in pockets for all who need me, will send strength to all as well, especially Mel at this time.
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mel take as much time as you need. You will be missed. Some things we go through are sorrowful. Praying for ease and mercy.
Tanya
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Oh Mel - Sending so many positive thoughts and hugs to you! You have to do what you have to do of course, but please know that I for one have never felt that you were "continually bringing me down" or anything like that with your posts, and you will be missed, but understandingly so. I know it has been such a struggle for you this last year, and I've felt nothing but sympathy, empathy, and concern for all that you've been going through. I like to think that this forum, and this thread in particular, is a place where we can all feel free to post our sadness and struggles as well as our triumphs and joys. That's what we are all here for - the sharing of all the good and bad; the ups and downs with each other. Like the others have said, take all the time that you need, but please know that we are here and always supportive. This has likely been the best thread on this whole site for me, and I you are the reason for it. I doubt that I am the only one who feels that way. You are truly a blessing to so many of us here! Take your time, enjoy your family, get rested, and take care of yourself. Hug Theo lots and please drop in if and when you feel like it to let us know how you are doing.
Mara - can't thank you enough either for stepping up to the plate here!
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Mel - ditto for me as well. Here to love and support you through this tough time. I hope it will be a short time away but you need to do what is right for you. May you find peace.
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Wow, not sure how I forgot about how hard it is to flatten such a large box as the washer came in but I did it, super huge but no possible other way to do it. Still got other boxes but have to clear out the styrofoam for disposal in garbage next week or coming weeks, I will see what it all looks like, one boxes are done, get other recycling done. Want to be done by 5 pm so as not to interrupt Halloween kids.
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Mel, definitely take the time you need, and know you are loved and much appreciated here. I've never found your posts to be negative, just honest. It really helps me when others share about their struggles. Grief is so hard, and at times feels like I've been struck by a car, or by lightening, and can't move, just want to curl up and cry.
I don't know if anyone has watched the show Somebody Somewhere on HBO - the new season just started and the first episode captured exactly how I feel at times. My friends care for me and love me, and they are also living their lives, are busy, etc. At times it painfully highlights how alone I am, since my husband's passing. There are times when being alone is peaceful and quiet, and other times when it just feels like the precursor to death.
Happy Halloween, Dia de los Muertos, and All Soul's Day. There will be many candles lit in my house! 🕯🕯
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@micmel, it is important for you to take time for yourself and to deal with your troubles. Know that you are not a drag on me but, rather, you are an inspiration. I will be forever grateful to you for providing your porch so that those of us trying our best to live our lives can connect with people who understand our struggles - both those of a physical nature and those doubts and fears that worm their way into our minds.
Your generosity, and that of the other lovelies has helped me enormously. Words cannot express how thankful I am that I managed to find your porch of peace, which is such a haven to me. I am sending you and your family very gentle virtual hugs
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Tonight was a success and fortunately I can ration my candy and avoid a bellyache. Happy Halloween 🎃
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Good for you Ilimae!
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I’m sorry but I have to crack up at Mae’s pup eyeing the load of candy. Too funny. I need that laugh. Thank you to everyone
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Nice haul Mae, love the mask.
SF, I am so sorry again about your DH. I can empathize of having someone there and then adjusting to life on your own. I am in your pocket for better days when you do see friends and peaceful times where you look after what you enjoy doing and if feeling down, a good cry never hurt, can get out some of the stress as well, leave you in a more relaxed state of mind.
Mel, once you are ready to come back we will welcome you with open arms, we all are sending support in our pockets. You know I like to talk a lot from all the stuff I enjoy because laundry, food recipes, chores technology or achievements are part of my life. I will continue to do that.
I did not sleep last night, no real reason why but got up, watched Practical Magic with Sandra Bullock, it was an enjoyable movie. Waiting until 8am to start laundry. I did not have energy by the time I got the box broken down. Nothing got taken out for recycling for that reason. I will just breakdown a box or two and bag up the other recycling, little bit each day seems to work better, same with vacuum and certainly the same with dishes since I tend to leave them overnight, I set timers for the soaks.
Edited: I almost had a heart attack, making some pillsbury buiscuits, and when I opened the pop really scared me, baking them all up and I will see how they come out, just an extra side for any bean heavy meal or slice them for egg sandwiched or could just put some cheese inside with beans et cetera, not really sure at this point. Will do different things like make an egg with beans in there, microwave the egg mix and eat them that way. Not sure, other than that got to consider other meals to use them in, for now will refrigerate in fridge with air tight container. I had two of them so far, just put peanut butter on the halves and they were supergood, debating using them to make some sort of pot pie situation as I bought a cambell soup that is called chicken pot pie. Would not use whole can but part of it, if good, just do riffs on that for a bit. Probably want to make different meals. My thought, spray a small pot, heat up the soup but smaller quantity, take a big bowl, cut up a couple of biscuits to cover, make sure soup is seasoned going in and microwave, not long because the soup will be preheated as well as the precooked although I could melt some butter in my pan and swirl the biscuits in it first then assemble the meal. I will see later what I want to do with other meals, just something to mull over.
I am hoping everyone has a good day and am in pockets for all.
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Mel, I did not notice the pup eyeing the candy. That is so cute.
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@illimae, love the haul of sugar, little pup seems to agree - pity puppies and chocolate don't mix. In everybody's pockets with hugs.
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sf-cakes Sending you a hug, I can only imagine how tough it can be.
Mae What a crack-up this is great! Love the pup too.
Mara Ha, that's too funny..spooked by the biscuits. So much you can do with them, the soup combo sounds good.
Wishing all a peaceful night.
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Well, darn. The first time I post in awhile and it just vanished. :/
Mel- I'm sorry you are feeling so much pain. I hope your family struggles settle and time eases your pain.
Mara - my personal experience with Pillsbury biscuits is to put them in a ziploc bag and put them in a drawer or cabinet, away from light. The refrigerator seems to harden them too much. Since it's usually just the two of us, I buy the frozen Grands and just cook a couple at a time.
Illimae- the doggo eyeballing the candy cache was too cute.
SF-Cakes- my mom used to talk about how quiet the house could be after my dad died. She kept herself busy during the week, but didn't have the distractions availability on the weekend. "Quiet as a tomb," she would say. Sending hugs and hanging out in your pocket.
Shanagirl - you posted about estradiol cream awhile back. I had just about decided to make the case for it with my oncologist (no idea how he feels about it but I wanted to be prepared). In the meantime, I tried an estrogen-free solution that started working the first day. It's only been a few days, so I hope it continues. Anyway, I wanted to thank you for your openness - it made me reevaluate and reprioritize my options.
I haven't posted much lately. Pinktober mostly annoys me (since MBC somehow doesn't exist), and I detest politics so it's been a hard month. Someone inevitably feels the need to make some comment (either overtly divisive or seemingly innocuous), and I just want to tell them to STFU. Lol. So...rather than spew all that crankiness, I've just been reading our joys and struggles and keeping to myself.
I had scans this week. I've seen the MRI results (which look good), but not the PET, yet. One of my TMs jumped again, but nothing huge. If everything looks good on the PET, I'm hoping to stretch out the timing again, and maybe drop the MRI. I guess we'll see what my MO thinks.
I love Mel's Living Room. There are always a few conversation going on in the center of the room - about anything and everything. And there are quiet places where you can just enjoy the comradery. Love to all.
Catherine
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@seeq I am persuaded by the argument that stress may fuel cancer, so I avoid political discussions. The topic seems to transform normally calm, loving people into very angry people, even if everyone is in agreement. Plus, my sister is an election official, so I have enough of a worry. Fortunately, Mel's Living Room is an ocean of calm, even if grief must visit.
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Seeq, I will try that myself. I did put too many in supper last night, will just tear them up and add to other meals. I was not aware of storing in a cabinet. Thank you for the tip. I notice also we have the same first name Catherine, that is pretty cool. I love the discussions too because I am a talker but here is the main place that people can see what I am saying which is great.
Tougholdcrow, I avoid politics here too. The only thing I want is a raise in disability and lower inflation. I am not particular who does it. Our election will be soon as well.
Huge load of laundry underway, bunch of chothes and some of the cloths I use. Old one could not have handled it all, the soap used is negligible as well, I usually soak after the wash then drain them for the vinegar rinse, use 1 part vinegar to 1 part water for that part of the mix and just put a little actual softener for the scent. Later, I will try placing the blue blanket inside, not for a wash but to size it out and use on shorter cycles. If it only takes up 1/2 of the wash drum, I can clean it. Got 3 lint filters in there as well. That would pick up a surprising amount of stuff. But need to check the volume. Definitely need the Panda spinner after. I will see.
As far as food, since the biscuits have already dried out a bit, figure that I can cook them up in other stuff or wrap them in a damp towel and microwave for 15 seconds to soften them up and use on the side. Other option would be to take my egg cooker and steam in their for a soft biscuit. Yesterday was good but too much food. I also want to make some KD as well to store as a side dish too. I have a lot of food and ideas to eat and enjoy. I plan to chop up some some peppers and and onions to go with beans and eggs, would just microwave it all together when ready with a steamed biscuit on the side.
Edited to add, the biscuit was split in half, put through the egg cooker and came out super duper soft with the steam, lightly butter and was good. I did spray a bowl, add eggs and bit of milk and beans and lentils, I am feeling full so will put rest in a container and just cook up a meat pie. The eggs are extra large so that makes a difference. I also should have chopped up the beans as I don't enjoy the texture. I think I will chop everything tonight and either just do the meat pie OR throw leftovers in the pan with onions and frozen peppers. I will see what I feel like doing
I do hope all have a good day, I am in pockets for all needing me with chocolate as well. In own pocket to get everything done, 2 boxes broken down, sorting of the rest of the recycle and checking on washer and how the large blankets could be done in there.
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seeq Agree it's quite the annoyance overload in October/early Nov.. Thank God it's almost over!! Glad to hear good news on the MR and fingers crossed that PET will be as well.
@shanagirl You popped in my head today along with @irishlove and @candy-678 hope you all are faring ok.
Well I think we narrowed down the wedding venue to one! We are in the process on finalizing date etc, DD hoping for 6/2026. It's been a great distraction and hopefully it will continue to be. Football Sunday today and it's the perfect Fall weather for it. Maybe I will throw something in the crockpot and bake also. We'll see how the day unfolds.
Prayers up for all here and wishing all a peaceful day.
Andrea 😊
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Catherine - I agree about steering away from the stress of politics too , I believe in voting and did that early.
Andrea- how exciting about your DD wedding, 2026 will be here before you know it . My son’s wedding in 2021 was one of the best days of my life, I still smile when I look at the pics. The best part was my mother was able to attend, and that was amazing given her health at that time. She passed last year and still talked about it. Football Sunday is always fun - who do you root for?
Today is a cooking and walking day for me. Made a lentil and vegie stew with vegan sausage and polenta which we will have with a cruciferous salad for dinner. I’m addicted to the one from Trader Joe’s, with an earth grain baguette. Now off for 45 minute walk and to enjoy the sunshine.
Hugs to all, Rhonda
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Rhonda - Sounds like a delicious dinner. I too got about a 45-60 minute walk today. Just love walking. Hope you enjoyed yours!
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Catherine, I know who I will vote for when the election comes up in Canada. I do not discuss politics unless something is in the news but not arguing which party will do it best. Everybody is different in their opinion and it can turn into a pointless argument.
I have been a little lazy today. I did do a large blanket in the laundry, still works well for the blankets that would not fit before, some vacuuming and ate. This morning, just had frozen pizza with olives and chopped beans and lentils and put some olives on top. Supper will be meat pies and a biscuit.
Rjschaller, that meal sounds so good. I am on my way over.
I am late to the party posting, kept forgetting to post.
I am also a Catherine and hope everyone is well and in pockets for those who need me.
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I'm here, just haven't had the chance to post. Kids moved out, left tons of stuff behind. So we have repainted that bedroom, bought a bed and mattress and started to decorate. New rug, windowcoverings, quilt, blankets and pillows. Hiding stuff under the bed and in the closet. Gee I wish DD wasn't such a hoarder. Tons of their things in the garage.
Indian summer like weather. Just beautiful. Treatment plans on hold as someone screwed up the referral to the new oncologist, so they had to cancel my appt. last Tuesday. I complained to our insurance agent since he was coming the very next day to go over plans. He apologized and promised it would be fixed asap. Still not fixed. I'm growing old waitingl
In pockets for all your scans and pray for good results.
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Thanks for mentioning me, Cookie. I am still here, reading quietly. I am having some health issues that I won't get into right now. But they are checking for cancer. Once you tell the docs that you have MBC they jump to cancer right away.
Saying HI to all on here. I read your posts every day.
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Irish, no wonder you were not posting, you sound busy with the decorating, painting and DD stuff. I am also in your pockets for the insurance stuff to be fixed so you can resume treatment as well.
Nothing too exciting happening here today, laundry, chores and some budget boosting, got the tv going on cooking vids, getting paid for the ads which include a pasta ad that does nothing but make me hungry which is OK, working toward another payment ahead for the new washer, so far due to payment plan and my budget boosting, nothing has come out of my pocket yet. Payment plan does not have interest but still interested in pay off sooner as opposed to later. I also have this bible app that has a trivia section. I am terrible at it but am earning money answering the questions and learning a lot as well. I will also be talking to the head of the wellness checkers about getting a new one, this has been the second one in a few years but things are way too personal between us and they are not supposed to be, rather have a new person that I can establish boundaries, I did not establish good boundaries with either person I had either.
Pretty cloudy out my way but our temperature went up overnight, got the split AC going as the heater makes it as warm as summer inside. Edited, I am in the process of the rice being cooked, used just a hair under 1/4 cup of that. Heated egg with peas and lentils added in, letting it cool and will tear up into chopper with shred cheese and chop in some chips and croutons. Edited to add, it was put in the sprayed frypan that was sprayed with cooking oil and took a stick of butter and rubbed it around as well. Put a small spoonful of cheez whiz and taco seasoning, just heated everything through. Nothing else added. It was really, really good.
I hope everyone has a good day, in pockets for everyone who needs me as well.
Catherine
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Candy-Thanks for checking in. I've been wondering how you have been doing. Hope your health issues can be quickly resolved and aren't a sign of progression.
Sondra-I've been wondering about you too. How are you doing?
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