My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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hi everyone! The last two days have been really rough for me. I had a sinus infection that settled in my middle ear. Friday I was getting ready for work and bent over to put my socks on and my world started spinning. The first thing that I thought was "oh no has the cancer spread" I hate that this is the first thing I think of. But I am much better now and celebrated my granddaughters first birthday.
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good evening all
Last 4 days of ibrance. I get my faslodex and zometa Wednesday. Peaceful weekend we got a little much needed rain.
My granddaughters been studying all weekend for her state tests tomorrow especially math. She’s still here. I never remember studying this hard in school in 4th grade.
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She’s a beautiful girl Tanya!
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Thank you Gracie.
She left a few minutes ago. She has a twin brother who doesn’t study at all and aces all of his tests. I told her that’s how it is sometimes. It’s all the weights and measures memorization ounces pounds quarts pints cups gallons miles inches feet yard tons stuff. And of course long division which she struggles with more than anything else.
Her teachers gives a nice reward for most improved so even if she doesn’t win it I’ll get her a gift for trying so hard.
Goodnight all
Tanya
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Holmes~I am sorry you're not feeling well, those middle ear infections can knock you off of your feet for sure. You really may need medicine... I hope you enjoyed the first year birthday 🎉 for your granddaughter! That's a sweet birthday. They are so young then. I hope you didn't over do it. Make sure you get some rest and feel better please !! Hugs to you my friend.
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Tanya~ I agree on the fourth grade comment of never doing any studying or a heavy amount of homework. Now I truly think it's so much harder for them, I am a 70's child and I don't remember studying for things intently like that, was maybe my driver testing. Lol. She is a cutie patooty!! It's getting late so off to bed for me. Hope I didn't miss anyone. Hope everyone has a good nights sleep gn~M~
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waving hello to Gracie! Hope youre ok ! I started the ibrance dance again tonight so I'm hoping it won't be so in relentless. Sleep well my friend. ~M~
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Tanya I hope your granddaughter does great on the test. My daughter is in 10th grade and really struggles with math. I love math but I'm of no help because they have changed the way to do things. The last time I helped her she got an F. It was very frustrating because we got the right answers just not the way the teacher wanted her to.
micmel- I pray that your dance with ibrance is a waltz this time. What dosage are you on?
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Holmes- Glad you are on the upswing from the sinus infection-such a miserable thing.
Tanya-your granddaughter is perfection! I found Falsodex to be very tolerable for the 4 months I was on it. For me, it was not as fatiguing as Ibrance. Best of luck as you begin this new treatment; I hope it works wonders!
Micmel-how are you, dear one? I hope that spring is lifting you up! I have daffodils soon to bloom! I am daring to plant pansies in the next day or two; yesterday my grandson help me put the outdoor furniture on my terrace. How's the soreness level of your tummy?
I had my pre Y90 liver MRI on Saturday. I'm in hopes that it doesn't reveal more than the three sizable lesions that I am aware of. Having a little more discomfort than usual and hope it is the Xeloda zapping the mets. Haven't seen most recent tumor markers yet. In a bit of a holding pattern, but very confident regarding my current treatment plan.
Magda- love that you lived in Warren! One would have to be brain dead to not love the Camden area! I have lived elsewhere, but Maine is in my heart and soul!
Sending my love to each and every one of you. Keep up the good fight! MJH
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Holmes thank you for the granddaughter compliments. Her teacher did not like how I showed her to do long division even though she got the right answer he’s insisting that she do it the new way. Oh well...
MJH I’m hoping that the new treatment kills the Mets.i love having things, like gardening and spring stuff, around the house. It keeps my mind off of the unsettling issues.
Micmel I hope your Ibrance is gentle to you and a beast on any lurking enemies.
Have a good day all
Tanya
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Good morning Ladies~ I just got up. The fatigue I feel has no words really. The soreness of my tummy is less each day but still feels painful when I move. I am getting back on all meds. I am wondering what my blood work would say since I've been off of ibrance for a3week break. I'm a little concerned. I don't want and am terrified of progression, as all of my beautiful sisters know already, and have shared additional fears here with us. It's the safe place to worry. Without being branded negatively at home! All I want you do is sleep. That's all. It's when I am not filled with fear and worry and sheer back breaking exhaustion!
I saw a new thread regarding ibrance and etc... Julie vs Alice. I am not Julie. But I know we have some Julie's here. I love it. Mae for example. Nothing slows her down and I love it. If someone is doing well and people are mean about that. I don't think thats ok on any thread. I have not run into this here and I don't think the group of ladies here would ever feel that way. I think if you're able to be a Julie or an Alice. Either Is ok with me! I am just here to try to live, and of course I want you all to do well. That's would make me a mean person. No thanks! Don't ever be afraid doing well, celebrate it.
Hello lovely Tanya, wishing you're precious gd an easy time of that test. 🌷🌷
MJH~ I just pray it didn't stop working during this break. I just loathe being so tired. I am thinking of you and your y90. Sending positivity your way my friend. You're another one who is quite mighty. It's awesome to hear of your adventures with your Grand son. I love that so much. So much!
Hi, Mae!! Hope you're ok. Haven't seen you in a few days !
Holmes~🌷🌷feel better my friend. Rest rest and liquids. !!
Much love ~M~
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Micmel, your body has been through a lot! Let yourself have time to heal and don’t expect too much too soon! Hate that you had to start back on Ibrance!!!! Am thinking of you all the time and keeping you in prayer!!!!
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Good morning everyone!
I’m here, just resting post brain rads and dealing with the hustle and bustle of DH leaving for his tour. Now, on to eating a bit better and prepping for my beach vacation in about 3 weeks!
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Sorry I haven't been posting much but I have been reading. My nerves are shot about possible progression. After 10 days of waiting , I found out that my insurance has denied my pet scan. This after my onc feels that I am having progression that is not being seen on a Ct scan. So now I have to have a " bad" Ct scan before I can get the pet. My appointment is tomorrow and I am a wreck...diarrhea and heart palpitations all from nerves. I HATE scanxiety!! My husband is taking a half day off to take me but I have to drop him off at work after the scan so can't take Ativan or Xanax. Please keep me in your prayers, as I pray daily for all of us dealing with this %#€*+ disease. My husband is scared to death of progression, I have seen tears in his eyes more then once while we have been waiting for insurance approval. Feeling down.0
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Lynwood, You are in my prayers. I can't say that about the insurance company. Geez! I know they have their rules, but some of them make absolutely no sense whatsoever. I hope you do not have progression. I hope everything is stable and this is a false alarm. If you do have progression, you will handle it. I know that sounds unlikely to you right now, just as it did for me, just as it has for so many of us. Somehow, we just deal with it because we have no choice. There are many treatment options available. Remember that we are all here for you. We will be here to celebrate stability or to support you through bad news.
Hugs and prayers from, Lynne
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Lynne, you truly are one of the nicest ladies I have ever met on here! You always have good advice and give tremendous support and compassion to all! Just wanted to thank you for all you do for all of us.0
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Lynwood, pulling for you! I know it’s hard with scanxiety, hoping the time goes quickly for you and that it comes back ok. Big hugs!!!! PS insurance companies are horrid
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Thanks Gracie! It’s sad how the insurance companies won’t let us have what the doctor thinks we need. I absolutely hate scanxiety ! My onc is very good at calling immediately after she gets the results so I shouldn’t have to wait long.0
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Mae, it’s good to see you posting. Hope those rads kick some rear!!! You are a real trooper and your determination inspires me to not allow this beast to take any more from me!!!! Hugs!!
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Lynnwood, can your MO appeal to the insurance company on your behalf, maybe? Either way, I’m sending good vibes out to you 🤗
Gracie, glad to hear it!
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Lynnwood~ Honey I understand exactly how you're feeling. I haven't been on my full treatment for a month now and everyday I worried. But at the same time , I was happily not taking 19 pills everyday. I am sending you so many thoughts of strength and my best. I hope that the reason they aren't seeing it, it's because it's not there. I am scared also. I have scans starting May. Bloodwork and the entire shebang. I am just a little behind you. Now I have another boob for them to ghoulishly crush for another mammo. More to worry about. I am keeping you in thought....everyday. Much love~M~
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Gracie~My body has been through a war it feels like. Every muscle aches. I never feel not tired. I have started the 125 mg ibrance last night. So let the little suckers kick some cancer butt again. My 17 month. Thanks for reminding me I am still recovering. I sometimes seem to forget that. Hugs my friend ~M~
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Mae~Hello dear! I hope you're resting and getting some good liquids. You are definitely an inspiration to me, I think your attitude and spunk make you as special as you are. So glad to hear you're doing ok!!🌷🌷
It was beautiful outside today. The dogs were in and out all day long while I slept through, until I heard them bark. Then I 🧟♀️my ass over to let them in. They need the sunshine too.
I have this one neighbor I don't really enjoy being around. It's not like she does things on purpose or anything. But no one likes her. She doesn't utilize boundaries at all. So she texts me and says. “ have you had your SX yet?" So I answered “yes and I am still on the mend, some decent pain with this one". She responds. “Ohh I'm so sorry that you had to go through all of this... for a boob". (Thanks a lot. You have. No idea how that hurt my feelings, thanks a lot you asshole) then she says. “Did you have such fatigue before your diagnosis, maybe something is wrong?" (I almost fell over reading this. Wtf are you a doctor? Remember I just had major surgery.wow!!). Then she says. “Well I sure hope the surgery didn't aggravate the cancer in the bone" ( I just could NOT believe this person had a mouth. Like you don't say those things to someone that has cancer.). No wonder I never wanted to talk to her. She's a pain in ass, everyone runs from her in the neighborhood, it's bad! The problem is.... her daughter and my family are very close. My DD and her have been BFF since she was 12.. it's a special relationship with me as well... she calls me Mom, I adore her. I just don't like somethings that people say!! Just clueless. As if I wasn't already worried enough with scans coming. The ass!! Ugh!
Much love ~M~
And Lynne (50's) you're definitly a special woman. A kind sweet special soul with a beautiful heart to match! 🌹. Hugs to you! I love all the trips you take and the things you do. You're also an inspiration! Loving all the living and sharing gong on here.
Love you ladies !!
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good evening all
Micmel some people need to be cussed out. I don’t like to be the one to do it of course but that woman is horrendous.
Lynn wood 1960 I hate that insurance company is putting you and your DH through this awfulness.
Micmel 50s girl Gracie Mae you ladies are always so supportive when it means the most!
I think I figured out near the end of my ibrance I need to do major things every other day. Yesterday sweeping and cleaning outside today fatigue. I have early morning plans for tomorrow so I hope that’s how it goes.
Tanya
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I am truly sorry if I have offended anyone. There are many other words I could have chosen lol. I don’t want you to think harshly of me. Just things make me so hurt.... then I get angry. I am sorry if I have upset or offended any of you. I care too much about you all to not acknowledge that! Much love ~M~
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Micmel, I'm not sure what you refer to when saying you hope you haven't offended anyone, but please let me say this. I do not feel that because we are women, we always have to “keep sweet". If you have anger or want to cuss, it's fine with me that you express your true feelings. You don’t have to apologize for expressing strong, intense feelings. I am one to rail against society's insistence that women always present a pleasant front regardless of what they are truly going through or feeling. As women, we have a myriad of emotions, sometimes on a daily basis, and I believe we should embrace and acknowledge them, fully be who we are and not constrained in some tight little box of societal norms that oppress us. Oh, I could go on, but you get the point!
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Micmel, I have never ever seen you post anything that would offend someone! I look at you as the mother of our little group.. you keep track of us all and cheer us on!! You are loved more then you know!!0
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Divine~ That is exactly how I felt. And feel. I was so upset this troll would speak to me like that. I already know it's in my bones. But for her to say those things I was shocked. Thank you for your honest words. It’s hard enough escaping our own minds and fears but to have someone say HEY real loud and ask all kinds of questions, like it’s a questionnaire, I thought about speaking to her daughter about it, because she knows, exactly how she is. But she’s preparing for Her own wedding & I can guarantee that no one is helping her. Her aunt is throwing her a bridal shower which is a thoughtful wonderful thing. BUT, mostly people aren’t going to be able to go because it’s in NY. For the bride, it’s 6 hours away for her own shower . For us it’s over three. I just simply cannot go, my abdomen is not ready not by a long shot. And my DD works Saturday mornings. The shower starts at 1230. She’s trying to find someone to take her shift, but people don’t want to work. It’s a huge mess. Her own mother. (The one that upset me),can’t even have a shower at her families own home, because it’s cluttered almost to a hoarding stage. Had I not been sick. I would have offered to have it here. Like we are having My DD’s Bridal shower. It’s really upsetting me, even DH was like, have it here for her... even now. But I don’t feel up to it. That also means the idiot will follow me around the entire time. I wish I could help. But I honestly don’t even have the energy to pick out a gift. Which I need to do soon. Does anyone know the norm these days for a wedding and a bridal shower gift?
Lynnwood~ oh sweet Lynnwood, That is one of the sweetest things anyone has ever said about me and this thread. I just don't want to upset anyone, with my voice of words sometimes, because I respect everyone. And care so much for you all! Sometimes this cancer thing, and I read behavior of MO's saying things I don't really appreciate and it's not even me. I feel protective and helpless at the same time. People just have no thought before they speak!
Thanks ladies for the support !
Much love ~M~
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Micmel, it is a unique situation you are in with your daughter being best friends with the wacked out woman's daughter. You have every right to set boundaries with that woman. You don't ever have to give her answers to her invasive questions. It's understandable you want to be diplomatic as you cherish her daughter. Still, it is a lesson on advocating for yourself. You have every right to reply to her, “Perhaps you mean well, but I'm sorry to tell you that's not really an appropriate thing to say."
After my diagnosis and during treatment, a coworker started talking to me and this young, attractive coworker who'd also been diagnosed with bc, saying she'd had a couple relatives who'd died from cancer; you know how some people tend to veer off in that direction. The young, attractive worker simply interupted her and said, “This does not help us!" She was beautifully assertive about it and did not worry that she might somehow offend the first woman. And really, the first woman was trying to say she admired us for moving forward with our lives, but she was just not finding the right way to go about it. But that young woman impressed me with her outright speaking, and I never forgot it.
It sort of sounds like that wacked out woman is trying to push your buttons. Who needs that? Seems she may be looking to strike up some drama; don’t give it to her, but also don’t allow yourself to be preyed upon by her.
Absolutely do not worry about your daughter's friend's shower. That is not your responsibilty by any means. We don't have to solve everyone else's problems. (Review those personal bill of rights!) As for a gift, is she registered at any stores? You can check the list and pick something from it.
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Mic, I know the relationship between the two DDs makes it hard, but I'm of the opinion that we must eliminate or at least drastically reduce the presence of toxic people in our lives - and that's what that woman is, toxic. She poisons your thoughts, and brings you down to her level by doing it. I have no clue how you would get rid of her; maybe after both DDs weddings it will be easier. And surely her DD will understand. As close as you are to her, she is not blind to her mother's toxicity, and she also undoubtedly loves you enough to understand the effect it has on you. I'd have a heart to heart with her, maybe with both DDs.
That's my two cents. As for the gift, most registries have online shopping you can access, so see if she has registered somewhere that has that option.
MJH, thought you might appreciate a pic of the place we lived when we first moved to Camden, it was right on the bay, you could see Curtis Island from the house. As you can see, there is a long stretch of lawn that leads to the water, what you can't see is that the edge is actually about a 20' cliff down to the rocks. Looking at the house on Google Earth, I can see that the owners have remodeled and added a whole lot of square footage! When we rented it it was a simple Cape Cod with the exception of the sun porch having been incorporated into the living area and a bank of picture windows looked out to the water. So nice. I can't even imagine what it must be like now!
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