My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Lynn-I would definitely take your scan as a positive. Stable is good. I go for my first scan next week. The onc said that my lungs sound clear and that my blood work was good. I just have to be mindful of my potassium intake because it was a little high. I pray that the pleural effusion is gone and that everything else is shrinking.
micmel- you didn't offend anyone. I have had so many people word vomit since my diagnosis. My sister being one of them. I just minimize my communication with them.
mae- I'm hoping the memory loss is temporary.
gracie- I hope you are ok.
50sgirl- you always know what to say and you are so knowledgeable.
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lynnwood, I say relieved too, you don’t know anything until you really know, ya know?
Thanks holmes, I sure hope it is too, I hate the thought that I might not be able to perform job functions at the level I’m used to. Today for example I was asked by my boss to get some budget numbers together from info in some emails, I thought I was losing it but got confirmation that I wasn’t included in the emails, nor the meeting where my boss asked everyone to send them. At least I’m not crazy, lol but my boss might be 😬
Hi to everyone!
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Hi all, I will keep this short and sweet. Everyone here are in my thoughts and prayers everyday!
Dh has his neck surgery at 6am Friday. He is sharing his feelings and thoughts with me. He is slowly accepting that his whole life is changing forever. As we know too well, it is a process. I have been home for 25hrs and we leave tomorrow morning around 8:30a.m. We have not had time to think too much today as sfil has taken a turn for the worse. I have been busy on the phone making arrangements for him. I think we are getting to the end of the line for him. Hospice is probably next. I definitely have not had time to ponder my own progression, it just has to wait until June. I should be going back on Ibrance yesterday, but I am thinking about it. Don't really see the point.
Anyway, I will try to keep you posted on how the surgery goes. Much love,
Claudia
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Mae, I also hope that your perceived memory loss is temporary. I know that you are a conscientious worker and are good at your job. I understand why you are worried. I am not a medical professional, of course, but it seems logical that the procedure could have that temporary effect. Now, what is your boss's excuse? Lol.
Holmes, what day next week is your scan? Do you know how long you will have to wait for the results? I hope you get good news. It seems like a good sign that your Onc said that your lungs are clear and your blood work looks good. My DH had high potassium during one blood test, and I was surprised to learn some of the foods that are high in potassium. I knew about bananas, but oranges and potatoes were a surprise.
Gracie, I hope you are feeling better.
Mags, How are you feeling? I read on another thread that you went to the ER the other day. Please rest up and take care.
Bigbhome, I am thinking about you and your DH tonight andam lifting you both up in prayer.
Hugs and prayers from, Lynne
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Bigbhome, it looks like you posted just before I hit submit. I was hoping that things in your life would ease up a bit for you so you could just concentrate on your dh's surgery. Life seems to have other plans. I am sorry things are so complicated. Right now, I want to talk about you. I know, I know, you have other things to think about and you are pushing your own needs aside, but just listen for a few minutes. Humor me. I am concerned that you did not take your Ibrance yesterday or today. I hope that you reconsiderthat decision. Here is my reason. Yes, you have had progression, but right now it is just in your bones. What if ibrance and the anti-hormonal therapy are preventing your mets from spreading to other parts of your body? Maybe they are keeping the mets out of your liver or lungs. Treatments can do that. Ibrance and Faslodex have wiped out evidence of cancer in my breast, chest wall, and liver, but my bone mets have not improved. Please don't take that chance of risking further progression that you might be able to prevent. You ask yourself what is the point of taking Ibrance. I can give you several reasons. 1. You need to stay as healthy as possible so you can help your DH during his recovery period. 2. Your DH would be devasted to learn that you took such a risk because of his condition. 3. Your DH wants you to stay around as long as possible. 4. We care about you and want you here on these boards. You are a thoughtful, supportive, valued friend to us.
Hugs and prayers from, Lynne
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I agree with 50’s. Bigbhome, there is a point to taking meds, to taking care of ourselves and others, to doing what we can to maintain.
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Lynnwood, I totally agree good news!!!
BigB keeping you and your husband in my prayers! It’s so hard to care for your husband. I cared for Tom his last year. I hope also that you will take that Ibrance. I’ve had times when I thought “why do I even want to be alive”, but when that passes, I’m always glad that I am. Big hugs!!!!
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so much going on. Bigbhome, tomorrow you will need a lot of room is your pocket, your posse is on its way. The spirit train has left the station. We adore you and will be waiting here in our place for you to update us when you feel you can! We care very much and hope it's a quick one and you're not left waiting too long. Those waits are the hardest. According to my DH anyway. I have so much I want to say, so much I want to say to all of you. If we could onky sit down together and spend some good time together, honoring friendships! Big hugs to you, I am also sorry about the goings on with you’re family. I know you have way too much on your shoulders, glad someone else was designated. Sending hugs of love and support.
Gracie~ Hi sweetheart
50’s~ always so well said and heartfelt. Remember dear abbey? You’re our dear Abbey! Full of good advice and kindness. Love that about you!
Hi Magda
Hello Lynnwood, my friend! 🌷, Chicagoan, Divine, Blueshine hi darling. Thanks for your kind words and reassurance! Hello Mae~ hope your forgetfulness is just a very temporary thing. Southern, GP, Minnie sweet Minnie,Grannax ~ hope all is well! Runor!!!🌹 Robin~ you ok girl ? Haven’t seen you or Willy!! Hope I didn’t forget anyone, If I have I’ll be back! Much love ~M~
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BigBhome. - I am praying for you and your DH! I know it's a hard time, emotionally and physically for you. You put yourself on the last place, but but remember what they say in the airplane- put your mask first to be able to help others. I agree that Ibrance will make you tired and now you need all the energy for him. I read sumewhere on the treads dr. prescribed Ibrance every other day. If you do this you still have the protection, but more energy ,that you need now. This cycle I am on 75 mg Ibrance and I noticed huge difference, feel almost normal😀. Prayers for your Dh for fast recovery !
Lynn50s, I smiled when I read your joke about me running marathon, while on 75 mg Ibrance, but yesterday I walked more than 3 ml ..... Praying to work too
Everybody have a wanderful day and there is something from me
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Mae, I hope your memory loss is a temporary result of the treatment.
MicMel, I would like too , to be able to get together for a coffee and nice girls talk, or support when one of us needs.... By reading the posts I have the feeling I know you all personally and I want to give you a real hug!!!
Gracie, how are you ?
Holmes, I had higher potassium one month, but the next was ok. Maybe depends who is doing the test.
A lot of hugs. Elena
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Hi ladies~ checking in for the afternoon. I ran some errands to Cvs and got my supplies and medicines. Supplements are so darn crazy expensive. That's as bad as those pharma companies. Because I can tell you I cannot live without murilax, it's just not an option I can not change. $100 later I don't know what I bought. Shampoo and conditioner. Which I spend a lot on. I love my hair and want to treat it The best I Can! We all do! I got two containers of murilax which I only buy one and get one half Off, they run like $17 each. It sucks.....
I got some snappy new colors for my nails. Basically the only thing I kept during chemo. And my prescriptions! Cha Ching. Wow! I am ready to nap from all that spending. For what? Yikes. Hope everyone is ok. Gracie. You fell.... how are you feeling? Bigbhome, love you.. in your pocket Tomorrow!! MJH. Waving hello darling. Blueshine. Love the pretty flower. For sure purple is so up lifting. I love the colors I chose... like spring. Except with out the allergies that are starting to hit me. Ugh! We wanted spring I totally know!! Much love ~M~
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Good afternoon all
Big you do so much for everyone don’t forget to do for yourself. You’re worth it. Please listen to 50’s girl, blue shine, Micmel, Mae, Gracie and all the ladies here who care and have wisdom.
We’re all praying for you.
Waves to all. I used my port for the first time yesterday it works!!! Thank God itsaved me the vein digging etc.
Tanya
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bighome-I agree. You can't take care of your dh if you don't take care of yourself. You and your dh are in my prayers.
micmel- it's great that you got out today. Sorry it cost you 100.00 to do so.
mae- I know how it feels your boss ask you to do something and searching frantically just to figure out you never had that email. You will be back to your old self before you know it 😉
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Bigbhome, I am checking in to let you know that you and your DH will be in my thoughts tomorrow. Although I won't be there holding your hand, I will be there in spirit as your wait while your DH is in surgery. We will all be with you surrounding you in love and giving you our strength and support. I continue to pray for you and your DH. I also pray for the surgeons and other members of your dh's medical team. (((Hugs)))
Hugs and prayers from, Lynne
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Bigbhome sending you love and support and praying for your DH.
Tanya, glad the port makes things easier. I have had mine since first chemo in 2006 and it's still working.
Micmel, treat your hair, why not!! Mine is rubbish, wig stays here.
Love to all x
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hi guys! I am convinced that chemo really messes up your teeth. I mean like eats them alive. I have had three cavities my entire life. Went to the dentist in May of 2017... broken tooth....today I am flossing and this sharp white/yellow black rooted piece of something was in my gum stuck. So I kept trying to get it... sure enough it was a sliver of my tooth. Like a shard of glass shape but small small. It looked like my toe nails did when they bid farewell. My hand nails luckily I kept. My tooth doesn't hurt at all. Just can feel exactly where it came off. Happened to another tooth, same time last year. Umm terrified of dentists. 😞☹️😟🤯😳😱😫😶😯😲😵. One thing after another for us.
Thinking of you Bigbhome!!
Much love ~M~. Beyond the miles.
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Bigbhome-will be thinking of you and dh tomorrow.
Tanya-I don't know what I would do with out my port.
If you end up at dentist you are on excheva right?
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Keetmom~ I am so glad to see you here. I just logged in before bed to check and see if you had been around. I was hoping you were doing well.. your precious kids as well, and your resilient DH.
I don't know what i would do with out my DH, and honestly I don't know why he even stays. It's just so very hard. My self esteem is still all over the place. He deserves so much better. He is my sweet Rock. I am blessed every single day I get to love him. I realize there are a lot of days where I am down on myself, how can I not be.... someone imploded a bomb inside my body. It's just a much delayed effect. People say you're nead, why aren't you doing this.... or why aren't you doing that?... there are many reasons. I am in fatigued pain daily even in NEAD because of the medicines, the aches and pains have never left, nor did the jumping beans glass like feeling in the joint aches. The spine pain I have is real... it's chronic, I know but everyday I have to borrow energy from the next day to get anything done. The 125 mg kicks butt. But I'm hoping to get the most amount I can Out of ibrance Lazy cancer I suppose to continue to hope for . It's a mind fu*k for us all. I can't help sometimes feeling negative, looks what has happened to me ? So sometimes I don't understand why close family would not understand the blow to the woman I once was took. I am still grieving the loss of that person, no one seems to understand that I my insecurities are even worse now. I am working on them. I don't even know what bra to buy, DH offered to go with me. Which I adored. How did I get so cursed and so blessed at the same time. I'll never know. Much love and goodnight ~M~
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Thinking of you this morning Micmel. How I wish you were feeling better! I hope things are healing up and am glad you were able to get out and do something kind of normal. Sorry it cost you so much though! Gosh the cost of everything has gone up so much! I can’t even begin to imagine how tired you must be. Know that I’m still praying for you, praying for healing and for peace. Big hugs!!!!
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Gracie~. If I wasn't so darn exhausted I would feel great. The low dose pain meds Work well for me and I am not saying I am going to climb Kilaminjaro or anything close to it. But I would just really be great with more energy.... I am healing well and have no complaints. Everyday is a lot better, it still hurts, but. Every day more and more it does feel better.... I hope you're ok after you took that spill! Thanks for checking in!! Much love ~M~
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For my upcoming beach vacation, I ordered matching beach totes for myself, BFF and BFF’s mom who’s birthday is the reason for their road trip from WI to FL. They arrived yesterday and I’m beginning to sort through what to pack. I’m super excited about this outfit because I’m a total dork, lol
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Mae, Matching bags is a great idea. I love the bag and the outfit.
Has anyone heard from Bigbhome? I am sure she is completely consumed by thoughts and worries about her DH, as I would expect. There is no reason for her to check in here but I am thinking about her so I thought I would ask.
Hugs and prayers from, Lynne
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I just recently heard DH has had surgery, is out and did very well thank goodness. She’s is wiped out but I think just glad he’s out of surgery and did well. Especially with the neck. We sure do love her. Much love to you all
Bigbhome~❤️Love you hoping you’re eating and drinking. Sending hugs of support and love. ~M~
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loving the outfit Mae! I love the jaws flicks. I was born. The year it was released. Yikes. I was afraid to swim in my own pool lol. Love the outfit and bags. I can’t wait for the pics. From our correspondent!!! Hugs ~M~
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Thank you Micmel. I am relieved to hear that surgery went well. I know how hard this has all been for Bigbhome. I will keep praying.
Lynne
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Hey ladies! Yes, apparently the residual effect of Gemzar's gift of vasculitis is angina! The episodes I had in the hospital were very different in that I had no chest pain, only left arm pain. Last Friday I had no arm pain but when it began I had no question in my mind that it was my heart. I'd been sitting quietly in a chair in my closet while my organizing genius Lori was helping me decide what to keep and what could go. It was not stressful. When the pain started, I went and lay down on the bed, took my bp, it was 176/84. Took a nitro. Bp dropped, repeated twice until bp was normal range (it's a protocol I was taught). Seemed to be recovering, pain had gone from 8/10 at peak to 2/10. About 20 minutes later it started to rise so I called 911 and they took me to ER. But really the second one never got anywhere and by the time we left I was pretty much normal. My EMS tech was an awesome lady and we had a good conversation on the way to ER. Once there, they started trying to get an IV despite my protestations (“I have a port!" “I know it looks like a good vein but trust me, it will roll!" And it did, twice.) Finally got someone who could access my port, go to blood drawn. Results showed no heart attack, but angina. So they sent me home. With 2 big new bruises to go with 4 still left from nearly a month ago.
Mic, about those teeth… picture 1 is me in April 2015, one month after finishing rads. Finished chemo previous October. Picture 2 is April 2017, just befor surgery to remove them all. I have another picture I took right after one fell out in October of 2016 that shows most of the damage happened in the first 18 months following active treatment. I showed one of the teeth to my MO and he confirmed it's systemic damage.
I miss steak most of all. A nice, thick, marbled ribeye like my DH masterfully grilled to perfection. Or when he could find one, a boneless ribeye roast, which he also cooked on the grill. Oh my.
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oh dear me you poor woman! I know it was part of my tooth. That 4 AC Chemotherapy is horrible. 9 abraxanxes later. That really scares and upsets me. Thank you for being so honest. I appreciate the sisterhood and honest assessments! You're a beauty! I am so relieved that you're ok and that you were quickly stabilized, I have the chills thinking about it. What ustough as nails ladies go through.
Bigbhome~ we are loving you across the miles and I'm still in your pocket. Hugs to you and your DH is so lucky to have the love of his life next to him. I am in awe of all of you ladies around me. Honestly I am.
I went out to the grocery store with my son, yesterday I felt really good. I was so happy. Then today i am feeling really awful. While we were in the store, I almost Fainted at check out. It's a good thing my son is quite tall. And has linebacker shoulders. He caught me just in time. I just needed some water and I had realized. That since I've gone back on my medicines, I have even worse of an appetite. Like gone none nothing. Forget it. Everyday is an honest battle, of I had to choose a team, it would be you all. Hugs and strong thoughts. ~M~
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Checking in, saying hi. Reading of all you ladies going through so much. My heart is with you all. We all share our hearts, don't we? Thank god that we do.
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Hi ladies!! Rainy cloudy day here. DH is shampooing the carpets. Our older dog isn't doing too well with his bowels these days. We are worrying about him. He's ten. But such a good little lover! He Loves his petting! So we are watching him close. Feel tired again. Always tired. Tired of not being hungry. Tired of being tired. Tired of feeling sick. Sick of taking medicine. Tired of the side effects. It's a circle. When I tell my mom how I feel. Her response is always “I don't care as long as you're alive". I do agree I am alive and I am thankful. I even have two boobs! That's what I Am thankful for today! And all of you ladies.
Bigbhome thinking of you and DH! I am sure the first day is the worst! Sending hugs and strength! Much love ~M~
Hello everyone else. Breakfast time. Hope I can eat! 😔. Much love ~M~
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Hi all! First and foremost I want you to know DH came through surgery well. They replaced 2 discs and put in 2 metal discs. We had a blip in the recovery room but they finally got him sorted out. The doctor was extremely pleased. He overdid it earlier today and is paying for it now.
Now I want to try to tell you how my heart was so touched by all of your good wishes and prayers for us. As I was sitting in the waiting room I was able to access the site and my heart was so touched when I read all of your posts. They brought tears to my eyes and for the rest of the morning I felt surrounded by love and prayers. I can't thank you enough for your thoughts and prayers! You are a special group of friends and you mean so much to me and my DH! Thank you from the bottom of our hearts!
50's , I heard you loud and clear on the meds. I will resume Ibrance Monday. Between you friends and my DH I realize that I am taking too big of a risk.
Mae, I love the matching totes! I have no doubt that you are going to rock that outfit!
Again, thank you so much for all of your support through this ordeal!
Claudia
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