My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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micmel- I know where you are coming from but at some point we have to accept our new normal. We have to cherish the time we have with our loved ones. When I first visited this site someone posted that they were not going to let cancer steal another day..i know you are in pain and are feeling down but you need to find something that you like to do and people you like being with and focus on that. Do you have a good friend that you haven't reached out to lately? Maybe invite them over for a movie and popcorn or something that doesn't put pressure on you to entertain just to be able to relax and revisit old times and a shoulder to cry on.someone you can be real with and don't have to pretend to be having the best time of your life. Wish I lived closer you could cry or shout and then we could laugh together. You are definitely in my prayers.
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micmel Thanks for the info about Caring Transitions. They do have an office very close to me. I did find out they have lots of services but they are not free. I don't know the cost yet but they try to off set it with an estate sale. I don't know if they have different prices for seniors or with financial need. Have you looked it up to see if there's one where your mother lives?
When your DD gets married on MAy 29, will they move into their own place? I wish life could slow for you so you could feel some quiet. It's hard to think straight when your world seems to be spinning.
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Lynne-We did the same thing 3 years ago. Emptied and painted the 3 rooms with hardwood floors and had them redone while we went on a cruise. My Mom lives in the same neighborhood and she let the guy in every day. We've been in our home 34 years (this year) and had never redone them. What a difference! We have to walk through these rooms to get to the second floor (where the bedrooms and shower are), so it worked out great just leaving the house. It sounds like you had a great time with your grandson! It's great that Dean Kamen started these robotic competitions years ago. I also love that there are more girls getting into it too!
MJH-I'm glad you enjoyed your sister's visit! Surf and turf sounds good to me! LOL
Lynne & MJH-I had my chemo today, so next week is my "hell" week (6-12), starting Sun (when I stop taking my steroids). I have my every 3 month scans on the 14th and I see my oncologist and have my bloodwork on the 18th. I am free the other days MJH mentioned.
Gracie-My Mom picked out that hat at the store I was getting my wig at. I'm not really a bling kind of girl. I like that hat though, because unlike other caps, there is no hole in the back, so it's great for the sun with the visor and being a light color, but most of my bald head is covered. I wore it every day in the parks.
Tanya-Enjoy your trip to your handsome grandson's graduation! It's always nice to get away, and you get to be the proud grandma on top of it!
Holmes-You're welcome any time! As all of you are! My house is not big, but all are welcome!
Micmel-Just breathe! Wow, you certainly have a lot on your plate! Set a chair up outside, and just be. When things get overwhelming for me, that's what I do. I listen to the birds, and put my face up to the sun (even if I get a sunburn!). No phone, no music, just sitting taking life in. I'll stay out there for a half hour or an hour. It works for me. Sometimes you just have to say, "it's out of my hands and all the worrying in the world is not going to change it". I know it's hard (I got the worrying from my Mom), but it's doable. As the song says, "Let it Go". Big Hugs!
Minnie-Have a great time in Scotland visiting your family! Our nephew spent a semester abroad in Edinborough. He loved it! My father-in-law is half Scottish, so he figured he'd go there.
Weather here was 93 yesterday, broke the high temp record here for May 2nd. Today it's 80. Going down to the normal 70's weather for the weekend. I'll take it. Still a chance of frost Sun night to Mon morning. We can't plant anything in the ground here until after Memorial Day.
Today at chemo, the nurse asked me how I was doing a couple of times, I felt fine. She said my face was red. I told her that's my Irish glow from the Decadron (even the pills I take for 3 days before and 2 days after give me nice rosy cheeks , neck and chest, sometimes only on side), unfortunately not from alcohol. LOL
Have a nice evening everyone!
Lynne
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I sincerely appreciate every single thought put down on this thread to support me. I am definitely struggling. I feel like my daughter and I are slipping farther and father apart, and I am slowly starting to figure out why. Her fiancés family is very religious, Jehovah's Witnesses actually. He left the religion a while back by choice. In doing so, his family ostracized him and basically, he came home one night to a letter on his bed saying he needed to find a new place to live within thirty days. When that happened, he turned to me and my DH. Of course we took him in, no questions asked. It's how we are. He had no where to go. I love him. I adored him even then. But when his family noticed, he was doing very well and wasn't falling on his face like they thought he would, and would never last with my daughter in our home, wasn't happening they started to make some reasons to see him and started to communicate with my daughter. His sister is a nice young woman and she was pregnant when they disowned him. He was not allowed to even see the baby, but my daughter was. It goes beyond confusion or anything I have ever experienced and I hold no boundaries in love. I am not religious period. I would never even think about disowning a child. No diety would ever want a child to not be loved by a parent, and vice versa. So fast forward almost two years. They are getting married, so now they think he is living like an adult and now they want him back. They are dragging my daughter with them. When I look at her. I see someone else. She's changing, I know it needs to happen and it's what I want. For her to be happy. But the whole thing has me uneasy.
My mother and step father thing is another level of additional stresses.. I know it's going to fall on me and my DH. At the end of the day, I don't want my mother in some crap Hole.. so I am going to do what I can. I found the place. It's really nice actually. She liked the pictures. I am going down the 21 of May for a walk through of the place. It's in a very small town and it's an early American feel to it, it has a re done train station and nice big side walks and residential older homes. A very nice place to live. Beautiful big trees, and a really nice re done building. I am hoping this is the answer. If I have to pay for her rental truck I will. Just getting everyone together for the move itself I don't know. Maybe the caring foundation can help some.
Yes Grannax they had a location in her state but I don't know how close it was. She could definitely stand to loose some unneeded furniture. How exhausting the entire thing sounds. I know my mom is also worried I could hear it in her voice. In her mind she'd die in that chair and never move again. As long as she goes before me. But they are realizing that they can't afford the rent anymore. My stepfather is 75 and still paints houses for a living 5 days a week inside and outside. He can not keep doing that. No way. He should be retired. This area is gorgeous, and is only ten minutes from me. I believe in the long run having her back where she is around family could really make her happier. I don't want them to be alone. I'm trying to do the best I can. I'm feeling so hopeless!
I realize it's because scantime is approaching. I'm falling into the rabbit hole. So if I am not around as much. I'm dealing with my dark days as best I can. I'll check in when I feel I can bring my Mind to focus. I felt great before the surgery, now I'm run down and I can't separate what I'm feeling anymore because I'm back on all medicines. Can't tell if it's possible progression, or just the muscle aches and pains and joint aches that accompany every single treatment. My mind is going to explode. I guess I was a fool to forget that i would soon be right back circling days on the calendar, six months seemed so far away. I should know how fleeting time is. It's one of the onlyThings my father ever said to me that was honest, before he threw me and my kids away.
You're all sweet and special ladies, I am so very sorry the reasons that brought us here. But it's nice to know I am not alone. Thanks again. For always listening. Much love ~M~
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micmel, we’re here for you in whatever capacity you need us and no worries, you’re allowed to have a bad day, a break or even a meltdown, lol. Sorry about all the family issues, difficult surgery recovery and scan stress but remember, you only have to get through today, try to make “today” a good one. Much love back lady 💛
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Micmel, girl, you got me worried.
I'm going to give you advice, as if you need it. But I'm going to do it anyway and it runs a little counterintuitive. I have probably said it before so forgive me if this is a repeat. Since tamoxifen killed off most of my brain cells (I only had the three to begin with!) I can't remember anything I do or say. So I often repeat.
Are you having a bad day, week, month? That's okay. Go ahead. Be as miserable as you need to be and do not feel bad about it, do not apologize about it, do not think you need to get better or do better. Give yourself permission to feel as lousy as you need to feel for as long as you need to feel that way. Go with it. If you open your eyes in the morning and some fool says, what a glorious day, you tell them to shut up and suck an egg because the day stinks and no one is going to upsell you a lovely day when you know damn well this day sucks balls!
When I was young I had a nervous breakdown. Or some kind of breakdown. It was hell. And every time one of those rising waves of panic would start washing in I'd panic at the thought of the panic and the more I freaked out to try and prevent the panic the worse it got! It was a compounding vicious circle / cycle! I read a book that said basically when that shitty feeling of terror comes sweeping in greet it and say, "Oh, hello Terror. I see you have arrived. I guess you are here to make me feel like pooping and throwing up all at once, right here, while I'm getting my haircut. That's cool. I guess I'll do those things and see what other evil you have in store for me. So do your worst, you have my full attention. I am here to feel utterly terrible with you. Knock yourself out." When you resist and fight the terror, that gives it something to pound against. Mainly you. But when you accept, acknowledge and go with the terror, just allowing yourself to feel as rotten as you are going to feel, committed to going the distance without fight or resistance, suddenly you take some of the wind out of the sails. As you float and flow with your feelings, not fight against them, it slowly softens the blow.
So while the advice to think positive and do positive and be positive is indeed good advice, you have to go through the bad stuff first to get there. You are in a miserable place right now and you want it to go away. The more you want that the more it hurts that you are still miserable. So... Just. Be. Miserable. and don't even think of being anything else. Commit to it. Embrace it. Be the best miserable you can be! Work it! On super horrible days of blackness post as Muckmel - or something creative. Wear your misery like a fur coat that is sleek and glossy and uber sexy! Then, when you aren't looking, just as you are truly getting the hang of going with the misery, it will begin to lift. Ever so slightly. Like fog that slowly begins to burn off in the sun. Because it does not matter how thick the fog is, the sun always wins. ALWAYS. The sun is out there. But right now your job is to roll in the fog like a pro. Don't look for the sun. It will find you. It truly will.
All my love.
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I cannot even believe what is going on in my house right this minute. I’m actually thankful that I’m not physically able to walk down the hall to see. Let me back up a bit.
Last weekend was the estate sale, and while it did pretty well (about 70% sold) there was still stuff left. Two nights ago my neighbor dropped by to introduce herself and she said the neighborhood’s semi-annual garage sale is Friday and Saturday. I talked to my organizer about this being a perfect way to liquidate the remainder. She said she would transport stuff over here and I said I’d ask my sisters to help. The 72 year old has had my car (since I’m not driving) and the 59 year old has no transportation. I’ve helped both of them a lot over the past months especially, so I was confident I could ask. DS1 had committed to take her friend a couple of places, but I was just asking her to pick up DS2, who is physically able to help, and bring her over to help with the moving. DS1 has COPD and not in best of health. As the day went on and I heard nothing from them, I was getting concerned and upset. At 2 I told her to just get DS2 and go to the house. Her response: I’ll do what I can. I said, you have MY car, you CAN do what I ask! Several hours later (too late to help) they showed up. I was asleep. They didn’t come in to talk to me. Later, after I had some dinner, DS1 came in. She whined about how she’d been crying all day because I’d be upset with her and it was all DS2’s fault. She went back to the guest room they’re sharing. After while I realize I can hear their voices and I text them to keep it down so cousin can sleep.
(Continued next post)
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(When I write long posts like that, my iPad slows down so I’m typing several words ahead. Annoying.)
Crash! Scream! DS1 has gone down hard on both artificial knees and is literally screaming. I’ve never screamed like that but she may be a bit of a drama queen. DS2 comes in and explains that they were fighting and she threatened to leave (and walk 20 miles home?) and DS1 tried to stop her (but why?) and they fought over the door and DS1 went down. By now cousin is up, calls 911 and the fire department arrives but they can’t move her without her screaming. They may have given her morphine. The ambulance just now left, it’s 1:45 am, the garage sale starts at 8, I’m stuck in bed because I can’t breathe, cousin has gone back to bed. I have no idea where DS2 is. What the actual heck?
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There is a true saying, You can pick your friends, but not your family, No fun Magdalena or for you Micmel.
I feel for both of you.
Micmel, live each day as it comes. X
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Magda~ I am feeling your pain! You turn around and all chaos has been released. It's sounds like you. Kept your cool which is important... why is everything, including relationships are so darn complicated?? I'm with you in the crazy town! You're not alone.
Thank you Runor~ I may have no choice but to choose miserable. Seems she's been my cup of tea since diagnosis. Hard pill to swallow.
Minnie~ you're so right. If I could pick my family. I would start a list. I'd do it right, like a an in depth interview!! No joke. This is serious stuff here lol hopefully today I'll feel more awake, so far that hasn't happened. I love to sleep. All my problems fade for a bit! That's ok with me. A peaceful sleep is what we all need!
Waving hello to Mae! Traveling correspondent soon on assignment! Send pics of the wonderfully put together outfit!! 😃. Ok having some coffee. Much love ~M~
Keetmom ~ how are things honey! Thinking of you.
Hi MJH~ wrapping you in a great big hug... thanks for even caring.
Much love you guys! ~M~
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Hi all, things here have been going pretty good.
I am actually eating and gained 7pounds in last 2 weeks, which is good because I was down to 100 pounds, that is a scary number to hit. I'm attempting to go off the dexamethason again prayers it works this works this time.
Magda, hope you sister is OK, you need a break and don't need the stress.
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Good morning to all! Please forgive me as I am behind on catching up with all that is going on , will try to catch up later. Just wanted to comment on the most recent posts. Manga, I give you a lot of credit for not losing your absolute mind when all of that drama went down!!! WTF is wrong with people???!!!! Don't they realize how important this is to you?? Empty promises are the worst!! I'm sorry that they let you down. Micmel, you have really been through it!!! One thing after another for you, on top of a major surgery. Once again, WTF is wrong with people???!!! Rumor is very wise in her advice. Sometimes in order for the stress to dissipate, we have to " sit " in it for while. Acknowledge it, don't try to fight your feelings, they are justifiable. I love how Runor says, don't look for the sun, it will find you. Know that we are always here for you...we get it.0
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micmel. That place sounds perfect. I wish they had that type of setting here. But, no, I live in Texas not New England.😕
One week from tomorrow I will be on the plane to Hawaii. I have done so much shopping, I'm not sure it will all fit in my cute, New bag. I still have a few more things to buy. Compression socks, yucky, they really make it difficult to decide what to wear on the plane. I haven't flown in so long, I don't know all the rules about what I can carry on. Is a little can of hair spray ok? Any advice from frequent fliers would be appreciated.
My doc said I can go off of Ibrance for my trip. I'll take my last one tonight, by next Saturday it will be out of my system. Then while I'm in Hawaii I will feel better. Yay. It's been rough SE for the past few months. I'll be off a total of three weeks. The week I get back is scan week, I bet I will have less scanxiety because I won't be as emotional. I find that both I and F cause a lot of emotional upset, or make it worse. We have to give ourselves a break and realize we are trying to cope with a deficit. These meds not only kill cancer but sometimes they disturb our ability to reason through problems. That's my opinion, anyway.
I'm going to post a pick of one of my cute bargains I bought for the trip.💞
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I’m feeling naughty today. I bought some roach stickers for Halloween and placed one on my wall, everyone seems to love the trick, so today I put one in the copy room, now I’m just waiting to hear the screams, lol.
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Magda-I'm so sorry that your sisters put you through all that! You didn't lose your cool, as I would have! I hope you were able to sell the rest of the estate stuff at least!
Keetmom-Glad you are doing better and gaining weight.
Grannax-You can look on the airlines site, and they give you a list of the things you can and cannot bring. I know for carry ons, liquids (including toothpaste) can not be more than 3 oz. I don't think you can bring canned sprays of any kind on the planes (I know you can not bring lighters, even in your checked luggage). I would look on the airline's site though, it will tell you exactly what you can bring. Have a wonderful trip!!
Micmel-I hope it gets better for you soon! Too much stress all at one is not good for anyone! Keep on venting here, we don't mind one bit! Hugs! I am having my scans on the 14th. I get a little stressed, but after 6 years of having them every 3 months, it's doesn't bother me as much I guess.
I finally got a decent night sleep last night (I've been on Dexamethasone since Monday, I'll take my last dose tomorrow). I actually feel like I can accomplish something around her today. Good thing, because nothing will get done next week (my post chemo week), with all the side effects I get from Taxotere. One year on it and I wish the side effects would get better, but nope!
Have a wonderful day everyone!
Lynne
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Mae-You're hilarious! My sister, closest in age to me, is an RN in labor and delivery, and is always playing practical jokes (all the time on us as kids too) on the drs she works with. She's had 3 fart machines confiscated. LOL Keep it up!
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well crap girls!!! Just got out of the oncologist office, my tumor markers continue to rise, and now it’s two of them instead of just the one. Going to do scans again in about five weeks, pet scan CAT scan bone scan, and if it shows anything new then I’m on the weekly chemo. Really pissed Off that Ibrance has been kicking my ass, and may not even be working! I am really super angry because I feel like I have lost four months of life that I can’t ever get back! Sorry for the rant girls, I am just angry
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So sorry, Gracie! Ibrance didn't work for me either. I lasted 6 months on it (2 scans, she kept me on it after the 3 month scna, even though there was some new lung nodes). I've had 3 different treatments that didn't work, and I hate that, because I feel I just wasted that much time taking crap that didn't even help. I don't blame you for being angry! That stinks that you will be on a weekly chemo. I'm on an every 3 week one, and I hate that. I only get one week off from the dr's office, and that's the week after chemo, when I have all the crappy side effects. Hugs and good luck!
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Keetmom, well done! I just can't get above 120lb but at least not losing anymore.
Grannax, try to wear maybe loose cotton trousers (maybe you call them pants). Such differences from European English lol. No metal belts, easy on off shoes, comfy stuff. No aerosols in your hand luggage. Nothing over 100ml. I always bring small pack of wipes. Carry as little as possible onto plane. How long is the flight? Enjoy! Very envious, I love travelling, but not fit for it now. Love the tags!
Mae, I can hear the screams from Scotland! My home for the weekend!
Love to all xx
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Rant all you want!! Seems to be the way this week. I'll be right here with you all scanning soon. Every ache and pain I worry. Gracie. I love you my friend. Ibrance numbers with blood can be quite tricky. Just the fact they are waiting 5 more weeks, makes me think it's tumor burn again. I'll be sending you the mini me in your pocket for scan day!
Grannax~ I don't know how long you have been on ibrance, but for my surgery I went off of it for a month. I felt no difference at all with not taking it. The fatigue and the slogged feeling did not go away, since for me it was month 16 it's accumulative in my system for so long that one month for me made no difference. I am hoping for you, you see a big relief. Now I am back on it and I sleep all day long. Seems for me it has been worse coming off...and going back on, because even though I didn't get any relief from not being on it, when I took it again. The side effects seemed to be doubled! Which is why I have been doing nothing. But sleeping. Just miserable. I want your Hawaii trip to be amazing. Just keep your mind from being disappointed if you don't get the burst you're thinking of. I was so excited to go off. Maybe for you it will be way different! Pics pics!!!! Love your goodies. Anything tropical here I come. 🍹🍹🍹🌺. My mom always used to say. “Get ready for your kiss and a lei".
Mae~ that is truly hilarious, I wish you would have a video of people freaking out, it looks real!!!! I love your sense of humor. I want to do that to my daughter. Lol she'd freak. Where did you get the stickers?. I need a good laugh !
Much love to all ~M~
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good morning all! Sit down, buckle up, and get ready for the ride!
So Yesterday, we go to Ocala to pick up hay, life is feeling pretty darn good, the doctor visit on Thursday went exceptionally well! DH is doing wonderful after his surgery, most bladder issues have been resolved, and his neck is doing great! So things are finally settling down and I feel like maybe there is going to be a little calmness going on. Funny me, I should know better. So yesterday morning I got up full of energy fed the horses put them out of their head out, clean their Waters, water plants, blew out the aisle way in the barn, blew out the pool deck and was so excited at how nice everything looked. Of course that was all by 10 by 10 I was exhausted! So we left to go to Ocala to pick up hay for the horses, a good hour drive from here. I'm sitting in the truck waiting for DH who is talking to the hey guy, when I get a phone call. It is SFI Ells caseworker. She just called to inform me that m i l was hitting s f i l in the common room and this was witnessed by many people. So since their job is to protect the patient, they felt it necessary to call the police and the Division of Family and Child Services. I was horrified! I could not believe that they took it to such extremes, I understand that their first responsibility is to the patient but knowing her the way that they do I felt like this was an extreme reaction. They put the risk assessment manager on the phone we did a conference call she apparently interviewed all of the witnesses and they all were in agreement that this is what happened. I'm sitting there listening to this thinking, oh my God, I don't know what I can do. She may have just driven the nail home in her coffin. Then I'm thinking oh my gosh I've got to tell DH, that's going to be worse than any other ramifications to deal with, because he is going to be so angry! So, I call out to DH that he needs to wind up his conversation, and that we need to leave immediately. He gets in the truck and I proceeded to explain to him what the phone call was about, and of course as predicted, he exploded! He called Sil one and told her what happened, of course she's freaking out also, and the whole time I'm thinking, thinking, thinking, there has to be a way out of this.
So we get home, and I put in a call to the case worker at the assisted living facility that they are living in. I explain to her what happened, she of course is shocked also, and we put our heads together and we come up with a solution. We know sooner finish discussing the solution and mil shows up in her office so we proceeded to have a conference call with caseworker, facility director and m i l. Basically, I told m i l that she can no longer go visit s f i l in the rehab facility, that's first and foremost, second we are moving him from the rehab facility to the memory care facility where they currently live. This means that m i l must give up her one-bedroom apartment and move into a studio apartment in the independent living in order to financially be able to do this. She wants to think about it I tell her she has two minutes, if she wants to not have a report filed against her or at least have it closed with a satisfactory ending like the first complaint this is what she's going to do. So she finally agrees.
I called the rehab facility and speak to the other case worker who is Shores me that the police are going to not arrest her, they just want to hear her side of the story, but they won't be pressing any charges. They are not happy that we are taking him out but considering the fact that he will get better care and War care moving to the memory care there's not a whole lot she can say against it.
I explained to m i l that this was the last time I could save her. She now will have two complaints filed with DFCS, granted both were closed satisfactorily, but if there is another complaint it will all be taken out of my hands.
I called s i l one and explained what I had done and she was on board with it she will be here on the 27th of this month, however the move is going to happen on the 10th. There's no way, with everything that happened that we can postpone it for that long. But on the positive side, while she is here I will be able to go up to North Carolina to take care of my oldest grandson for a week. Woohoo!! She will be here taking care of D H and M i l. Can you say woohoo! I will get a break! So the soap opera continues, I racked my brains trying to come up with the name for it I haven't thought of anything yet appropriate. But it sure does feel like I'm living in one.
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Good Morning beauties! Have a great Saturday! DH is here and I am thrilled. Loving having him here. Makes my world go around. also have my DSS up as well. Gonna Head to the shower, but wanted to say gm. Nice day already. No 80's today. Just lower 70's. Which I like also. Hugs to all ~M~
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Oh bigbhome hope you get a break soon, always seems like life can't be calm, I get that... Glad DH is doing good though.
WI is finally getting spring and I can open windows... Makes me really happy.
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may you are hysterical! I love the Cockroach idea! I would have loved to have heard those screams!
Micmel, I'm sorry that you are having such dark days. I know we talked about this before, but maybe it's time we talked about it again. I understand that you are a needy on a hundred 25 mg, trust me I understand that. However, your quality of life seems to be taking a serious hit and this is not just from the surgery this was before the surgery and this is of course since after the surgery, maybe you want to rethink this. I was on ibrance for 5 months, and I made the decision, based on the fact that all I was doing was sleeping all the time and having no quality of life, that I was going to go off of ibrance. My MO convinced me instead to go down to 75 mg instead of 100 and give that a try. I did and to this day I cannot say I regret it. During the five months that I was on the hundred mg, I had no energy to go out and spend any time with my horses, in fact I arrived at a point where I decided to sell the horses and get completely out of it. That is not me, thank God our little Meriden cell, and we were able to buy big be back. I know that I have progression again, would I have it if I was still on 100 mg, no one knows, what I do know with absolute absoluteness, is that had I still been on a hundred mg my life was not worth prolonging. I could not have taken 31 cycles of living like that. So maybe you need to ask yourself that question. Do you want to be here for another x amount of years with a good quality of life, or do you want to be here for as long as possible no matter what. Each individual has to make that decision no one can make it for you, and no one should try to, we are all different, we are all unique, but you might want to ask yourself that question again. I hope you get to feeling better soon, I'm sorry you're going through all this stress I know that it definitely makes things worse.
To all the others waving hi! Stay strong ladies!!
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Micmel, NED.... Not needy. Rotten spell check. This is what restored my sense of peace yesterday!
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Beautiful Mother Nature! Keetmom, so glad spring has finally showed up in WI! For me, it works miracles!
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Bigbhome, suggestions of names for your soap opera: The Calm and the Chaos, All My Inlaws, Days of Our Scary Lives, As the World Spins Out of Control, The Edge of Nightmares, and Another World (I know that was an actual soap opera, but it kind of fits.) I hope things calms settle down for you soon. I am happy that your DH is feeling better. Your garden looks great, btw.
Keetmom, I have my windows open, too. The weather has been beautiful here for the past few days. I can hear birds chirping outside, plants have started springing up in my gardens, black flies are beginning to wake up (oh wait, that is a bad thing!) I have been looking forward to spring for months. For some reason I am particularly appreciative of its arrival this year.
Minnie, My DS and DIL were in Edinburgh last week. It is my DS's favorite place to visit. He loves the buildings, the people, just about everything there.
Gracie, How many months have your TMs risen and how high are they now? I have an MO appointment on Monday, and I suspect we will talk about changing treatment if my marker is up again. My CA 27.29 has risen 6 months straight and was at 400 last month. My scans didn't show any obvious progression, so it will be an interesting conversation. I will just move to tamoxifen if I do change. I have been resisting it since I feel that I am doing quite well my current medications.
Grannax, You will have such a great time in Hawaii. I think that people can have a fantastic time there even if they just sit in a lounge chair and watch the ocean. There is something about Hawaii that I find calming and reenergizing at the same time.
Mae, I would have been the first person to scream at that cockroach if I had been there. Ewwwwwww. It looks so real.
Micmel, Enjoy your time with your DH.
Hugs and prayers to everyone from, Lynne
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i was told it was considered. NEAD and that is what I say. I am just heading into scan time Soon, so every single ache and pain worries me. It's torture and we all know this. I have no choice but to go through it, like us all. Sometimes I just can't believe. Like we All know. But for meI know I dont want to accept it Either. I love your photo. I could use some peace. I could feel half decent one minute and then crappy the next. It's a circle. I am going to suggest lowering the doseage. If I can even stay on this. Who knows what the darn scan will even say ! I am very happy however to hear that your DH is doing a lot better! And that you will get some time with your grandchild! Hugs to you sweet lady! Much love ~M~
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big b I like "All my in-laws" that 50s suggested. When my dad was putting us through all his drama, we thought about writing a book. At the time, I had no desire to actually write all that stuff on paper. Now, eight years later, I might consider it. Ha. Time does heal or at least it makes you able to laugh. And now I know lots of of families experience all sorts of unbelievable behavior from their parents. What would I name it? Norman Rockwell family vs Wicked Witch of the North. I'll have to come up with another one, that sounds like Jerry Springer episode. Actually, at times we laughed that we could apply to be on his show. OMG. Our lives can turn on a dime.
And yet we fight on. That's what we do.💞
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