My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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KatyK~ I so much understand. I am deeply In love with my husband as well. He also says the same thing about loving me and not wanting nor needing to find anyone else. He says that I am it. We have to listen to them and understand that they may very well mean it. I know for myself if it were reversed, I would never even consider dating again. It just wouldn't be in my heart or soul. He is my person. Another thing I try to think of is what he tells me that when he goes fishing, I'll be with him, right with him over his shoulder. Wherever he will be, I will be with him. The terror that rips through my soul, at he thought of him being near another woman makes my skin crawl and my heart collapse in pain. I get it. I worry everyday, not only because of the scans and etc... but my body has changed in a ton of ways and I have limited time to when I am able to havesex. He's so wonderful and patient, I could never live without his love. I need his love to live and fight. So fight I will do. I will never allow another woman to get her claws on my sweet DH. I'll haunt her from the grave. But I am sure we will kick this thing and a cure has to be not too far off. Welcome to thread sweetheart! I understand how you feel completely. I hope to see you again. Sending strong hugs of support. ~M~
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Keetmom, I am so happy to hear from you. Even happier that things are stable!
I can only imagine how scary that must have been and hope that you are feeling better. Like everyone said... rest, then rest some more.
Thinking of you
E
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50's girl, Dh and I are taking things day by day. Last week was rough, but we survived. He is healing well and struggling with his dependence on others. Next week he starts PT, two weeks later, we schedule next shoulder! It needs less work than the right one. Thank you for your kind words of support!
Keetmom, prayers for you!
Everyone, I have been following, but sometimes days behind. I love seeing all of you here! I am usually too tired to post. Loving all of the good news and pictures and I add special prayers for all who need them!
Scan tomorrow. I've been too busy to worry about it!
Love you all,
Claudia
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Claudia, You will be in my thoughts tomorrow as you have your scans. I am sending good vibes your way. I am not surprised that you have been tired. You and your DH are going through so much that is both physically and emotionally exhausting. I think I would be huddled in bed with the covers pulled over my head if I were in your shoes. I know that you are doing what needs to be done, but that doesn't make it easy. Please don't neglect yourself.
Hugs and prayers from, Lynne
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Claudia, good luck on your scans tomorrow! You sure do have a lot on your plate right now! Don’t forget to take care of yourself. Get some well deserved rest .0
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Keetmom-oh my goodness-what a traumatic ordeal-so relieved you are recovering. You must feel exhausted; hopefully the Keppra side effects are minimal. In your corner hoping for this never to recur.
Tanya-wonderful news about the good scans! I am with you on the Trader Joe's flowers! They have the best and most reasonably priced bouquets; I buy them a lot.
Grannax-My granddaughter was recently in "Aristocats"! Didn't you just love it? Your picture is fabulous!
Bighome-just keep swimming...you must be so worn out. Sounds as though DH is recovering well. we'll see more of you when you surface!
Lynne(50's)-Loved the sweet fairy garden! I am looking for a little garden gnome set for one of my gardens; I want one with toned down earthy colors. I'll know when I see it! Hope you are doing well and I look forward to our next get together!
Lynne(Man) That person in your MO's office sounds like such a pain in the neck...how annoying. The mini trip sounds amazing! I climbed Mt. Washington with my parents when I was 10. It was my first time above tree line and it felt like a different world. I loved it. Have also ridden the cog railway up and driven up. It is one awesome pile of rocks! The area around it is so special as well. My parents met at the old Crawford House, so the White Mtns. meant a lot to them. How was the little graduation? Sweet, I'm betting. Looking forward to seeing you again!
Micmel- a huge relief that DD found a place, I'm sure. Things will likely improve when you are not all on top of each other in the same space. The fancy wedding that DH and I will attend is July 21. We will fly to NYC on a Friday and stay til Sunday. I promise photos of me in my "little black dress!". I would send you 10 lbs of the most delicious wedding cake in heart beat! You deserve it! I used to make wedding cakes for friends in a former life.
Elle-life sure is busy for you right now! Try to pace yourself and enjoy! We have a marvelous summer theater here in the neighboring town.
Gracie, Blueshine, Magda, Mae, Lynnewood, Holmes, shouting out to you and all of my other dear MBC sisters-
Peace be with you-love MJH
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Tanya-here is a Trader Joe's arrangement!0 -
My great grandmother's wicker planter0 -
A new favorite-"Bitterroot".0 -
My favorite "starter" plant for my terrace-pansies.0 -
Finally established a "native" lupine patch. Very iconic here in coastal Maine alongside the highway and in fields.0 -
Bighome-sincere wishes for good scan results.
Lynne(50s) -forgot to tell you; My grandson chose green beans, lettuce, carrots, cukes, basil, and sunflowers for his little garden. still planting veggie garden,photos soon!
best, MJH
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Hi ladies ~ Bigbhome so lovely to see your beautiful smile here. Hang in there. We are in your pocket for scans tomorrow. Sorry if we get too noisy! Love hearing from you so much. DH and you are such a strong loving team.
Keetmom~thinking of you.
Haven't seen Minnie much. Hoping she just busy with her friends and entertaining. But just thinking of you in Spain!
MJH~ already a relief in the air. They officially move in July 1st. Let the band play. 🥁🎺🥂🎷🎺🎸🎸🎹🎤The sweet DH that I have has offered to help them move in and he's ordering a set of farber ware pots and pans set as as house warming gift. She asked me to come over her place Monday July 2nd and help her organize somethings in her new place. So I was thrilled to hear that. I didn't want to be cut out. I am hoping that means somehow we can continue to mend. Especially with them leaving in a little more than three weeks. I'm glad it didn't drag out . Hope all is ok for you and your family as well. Nice to see you always.
Magda...Gracie...Chelle...Nan...Blueshine........Holmes... theLynne's!...Mae..Tanya...Runor..KatyK......Divine...........Elle...Grannax......iwrite....Jaycee....a visit from Daniel and Leslie ...Sandibeaches....GP.... hope eveeyone has a great sleep! Much love ~M~
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hi Ladies, just back from Ireland. Catching up. Lots to read.
Love to keetmom.
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MJH, LOVE your flowers! To me, the best part is your great grandmothers wicker planter!!! I love things that have family history!0
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MJH. What part did your granddaughter play in Aristocats? Yes, I laughed the whole way through it. Very fun play for the kids, too.
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Grannax, she played an alley cat! She had on kitty ears and a leopard print fuzzy vest over black shirt and leggings.
Have you found your new MO yet?
Best, MJH
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Me with my aquamarine cruising machine!0 -
MJH. Yes there were lots of alley and Mr. Mallory was a cool cat for sure.
About my MO.....since my scan was stable, actually much improved, and I'm staying on I F until or IF I progress, I'm going to stay with her for at least four months.
I'm actually starting to look at my cancer in a new light. If I keep on responding as well as I have, I could get to NEAD. I never have looked at it that way.before now. I might have a much longer life than I had thought. WOW. That puts changing MO, right now, in a different light.
I'm so thankful for the y90's I endured, like you, because without that intervention, I would be in a different place.
I love your pic with the bike. Keep on riding.💞
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Micmel-YIPPEE! So glad they found a place and are finally moving out. You need your peace and quiet. I'm glad you have started mending your relationship, and yes, I believe it will be easier without them in the house. I too find it strange that his family is all of the sudden taking interest in him now that he's moved out, after throwing them out of their house. I hope this doesn't mess up your relationship with them. A month to put the house up for sale? That's quick! When is your son graduating?? A lake house sounds wonderful! One of my sayings is, "If we ever win the lottery, the first thing I'm doing is buying a house on Newfound Lake (my favorite lake in NH, an hour and a half away, it's big, but quiet, and crystal clear).
Tanya-Hurray for good scans! I am the opposite of you. I'll take the cold above the heat and humidity any day. I had a cousin move down there from NH, and she says it's just the opposite there, they stay in the a/c all summer, like we do in the winter. Nope I enjoy the change of seasons too much, and my roots run deep here (I'm 4th generation on my Mom's side, and 5th generation on my Dad's, living in this city, my kids and grandkids are either in the city or one of the neighboring towns). We don't mind visiting FL, we just couldn't live there year round. You can always put more layers on in the winter, but can only take so many layers off, without being indecent in the summer. LOL
Grannax-Love the picture of you and your granddaughter! Such fun doing plays all summer! Wish they had that for us growing up!
MJH-Love your ride and all your beautiful flowers! Yes we need to get together again soon! Had a ball meeting your! I have chemo on Thurs, so next week (after the mini's on top weekend) is "hell" week. Lowering my dose though, has helped with the diarrhea. It's not lasting as long, and therefore the dizzies aren't as long either. Still sick of all though.
Bigbhome-Glad to see you on here and that your hubby's surgeries are going well. Hope his PT goes well, as well as the other shoulder surgery. Poor guy. Hope your scans go well for you! Big hugs!
Keetmom-I'm so sorry to hear of your gran mal seizure. They are so scary. My older daughter had 3 with her first stroke at 1 1/2. It happened again, a couple of years ago, when she got lidocaine (which she had many times) before a filling. Needless to say, she didn't get the filling that day and ended going to the ER. They said that some of the lidocaine had got in her blood stream and caused the seizure. She no longer has lidocaine. I hope you are doing better. Hugs!
Minnie-Welcome back! I hope you had a great time in Ireland!
Katyk-I have been with my husband since high school. 39 years ago. We will be married 35 years in October. We have 4 adult children and 3 grandchildren. I too get upset with me not being here and wondering if he will be with someone else. I told him I would haunt him too. If he does get together with someone, I said don't marry her, or let her move into our home (he'll probably sell it and get a condo, he'll be 55 in Aug, I'll be 57 in Dec). I think he will be too lonely living alone. We will finally (after 32 years of kids) be empty nesters next week. Our older daughter who's almost 31, moved out last week. We told her since she's come and gone about 5 times, this is the last time. She'll have to go live with one of her siblings if this relationship doesn't work out. Our youngest who's almost 23, is moving out next week, 6 hours away, to be with his girlfriend. He gets one come back, since he's never left. I don't mind him staying, he's the most helpful, cleanest and quietest of the bunch (the other 2 are out and will stay out unless there are extenuating circumstances, the each have children). Our younger daughter asked me what we are going to do once he moves out, I said change the locks and run around the house naked! Of course they all laughed (it was our Sunday dinner with all of them). It sure will be quiet, but less stressful. Our older son (and eldest) comes over her every day his has his daughter, so we see him at least twice a week, and every other weekend. He comes here to eat. We love seeing her, but she's 8 and just stays in the living room watching the shows she doesn't get at either parent's house. It's getting old. We really need that time to ourselves. I can't even listen to music anymore, because a sappy love song comes on and just get me going. This 13 year breast cancer (when I was first diagnosed stage 1, it came back in my spine, lung, and lymph nodes after 7 years, now 6 years stage 4 and also in my liver and many bones) business has brought me down! I do hear you though, and totally agree with what you are saying! Hugs!
Gracie-Missing you on here! Hope all is well. Hugs and prayers!
Here are my rose bushes, off of my big deck. They are pretty old, and I had to trim off a lot of dead branches this spring. Not as many blooms (still more buds coming in) this year. They are climbing roses, I sometimes get another burst of blooms in the fall too.
Hugs and prayers to all!
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MJH, Nice wheels! I like that bike. You amaze me with all your activities. Your flowers are lovely., Your lupine patch looks well-established. How long have you been growing it? It's so nice to see that you have your great grandmother's wicker planter. I have items that once belonged to earlier generations in my family or my dh's, and I wonder if anyone really wants them when I am gone. I guess I should find out. I should also document the stories behind some of them. I have told my sons some of the stories in the past, but I suspect they don't remember them. Will they know that the china and crystal in my hutch was given to my mother-in-law as a wedding gift from her parents 75 years ago? Will they remember that my parents, sister, and I gave my grandmother the Hummel nativity set one piece at a time on holidays and birthdays when I was a child? Do they recall that the semi-ugly China tea set I have belonged to my great grandmother who only used it on special occasions including when she served tea to my mother and aunt when they were in their teens? There are so many things like those. None of them are valuable except in my heart. Will their histories be a mystery to my sons like the bell I came across when I was cleaning out my dad's place after he passed away? I do not recall seeing it before that day. By looking online, I discovered that it was used by air raid wardens in Scotland and England during WWII to warn of impending gas attack. It is dated 1939. How the heck did it end up in US? I wish my dad could tell me because I would love to hear the story. Oops, here I go rambling on and on again. Back on track....your grandson's garden sounds like it has a lot of variety. He will probably love seeing those big bright sunflowers grow. It is wonderful that you do so much with him. He will carry warm memories like that throughout his life.
Lynne, Your roses are so pretty. The white fence is the perfect backdrop to set them off and complement them. I laughed when I read that you told your daughter that when you finally have your empty nest you are going to change the locks and run around naked. I am going to use that line on my kids. I can just see their faces now. My DH and I have been empty nesters for 3 months now. I do miss my grandchildren, but boy did my stress level come way down. My house is really clean, too.
Lynne and MJ, we do have to make plans to get together again. I will be away next week. My DH and I are going to the Bahamas for 4 days. Hopefully we can do something after that. We will have to work it into our schedules.
Keetmom, I hope you are getting some rest. How are you feeling?
Mae, When is your last day of work?
Bigbhome, I hope your scans went well.
Hugs and prayers from, Lynne
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Roses are amazing. Absolutely beautiful!! Not feeling too great today. Tummy issues. Week off ibrance sure is finicky! You ladies keep me moving. Hoping all scans are good. Bigbhome...Chelle...my love. I am here dear friends. Thinking of you all! Fabulous ladies. Much love ~M~Keetmom keep resting darling
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50’s, my last day is 6/29, I have tickets to a concert (Weezer/pixies) that night, followed by our dog baby’s 14th birthday, then a friends birthday, then off to the mountains for a few days. I’m planning a trip to the Bahamas this fall, I appreciate any insider tips.
Hi to all! 😀
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sounds like a woman with a plan! Travel, last day of work. Sounds like it's a ok to me. You have worked your tail off. My DD and SIL move outJuly 1st. I can't believe it. It will be a good thing. I am anticipating the quiet. The napping without hearing anyone really. Seeing her when I want. Maybe she actually be nicer and realize things are hard. I am happy for you Mae! Much love ~M~
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Good evening all,
You ladies have been busy I had to read for an hour to catch up!
Keetmom I hope you are resting and don't have any more scares like that. Thanks for letting everyone know so quickly that you were OK. We all worry about each other. And I pray for us all.
Holmes 13 my husband kinda shushes me when I talk about death. When I get good scan results he lives in the fantasy world of you're not dying. It's very hard for him. He lived through the losses of both parents, three siblings, he has one brother left who's 84. My husband is 68. It's emotional for him. We've been together for 39 years.
Mae Thanks for the Woo Hoo. Popcorn at Micmels daughter show and a front row seat is the ticket. It's all a learning experience now for them. Congratulations on your last day June 29th!! Enjoy the peace. It's bittersweet though. I definitely mourned the loss of my work family but I am grateful for the freedom.
Runor I'm with you on moving out with dignity and also I'm sure we don't want to end on a more heightened negative note.
Lynwood 1960 Thanks for the congrats and celebrate I did. I'm exhausted now. I celebrated with my husband and friends a few nice dinner outings and last night a family dinner, simple and sweet.
Micmel thanks for the congrats and I swear all of you ladies know how the scan results are. Everyone else just kinda gives a hug and back pack but you ladies are jumping up and down with me. I'm happy your daughter is leaving and it looks promising for reconciliation.
Grannax Aubrie is a star. You guys look great. I would've been crying through the entire performance.
Elle on Wheels congratulations bright eyes!
Big B thanks for the parachute float in. I pray your scan results will be wonderful. I hope your day went well today. I know you're in a caretaker role now shoulder surgery must be debilitating. Stay strong.
Blueshine I like the advice to compromise with DD. I think in all of our adult difficult relations there is a degree of compromise or there is friction.
50's girl thanks for the congrats. Why did Bon leave? I don't leave a legacy of the wonderful things that you have been blessed to keep over the years. We found some interesting things that my Nana left but they didn't come with stories sadly. My siblings divided things and for some reason is was nauseating to watch them do it. I'm not judging them but I took a shovel that my Nana used to garden with and it broke and is gone. I have Nana's pictures and sage advice that lives in me. I love the sentimental valuable things that you have and the stories it makes me wish I had kept something more.
MJH thanks for the TJ bouquet. Your flowers are gorgeous. I love the wicker basket flower planters. How do they hold up in the weather. What do you do to care for them since they're antiques. Love the landscaping. Thanks for sharing Maine it's lovely. I've never been to Maine. Cape Cod is the farthest north I've been on the east coast. I've been to Canada and New York border. Love your tourquoise cruising machine.
Minnie Welcome home from Ireland. Hope you had a wonderful trip.
Lynne NH your roses are beautiful especially juxtaposed against the white fence.
Katy K I had similar concerns about my husband and what he would be doing after my demise but I don't live in that dreadful future. I'm living to the best of my ability now. I don't expect he'd enjoy being alone and I know he'll miss me. I hope he'll not dwell on the end and rather focus on the time that we spent living our lives to the fullest in sickness and in health through hell and highwater.
This weekend, God willing we all go camping. My son and grandson, brother, DD and her five kids, hubby and several other families. We rented 7 cabins near a lake and hopefully will do fishing, kayaking, horseback riding, field day activities for the kids, bonfire, you know camping delights.
After we return home,God willing June 25th my DH and I leave for NY. Family reunion for my moms side in Washington DC and then July 3rd we go to visit my uncle in Morocco. He retired there 30 years ago and I've visited him once. Since his only sibling, my dad died 2 years ago I've been wanting to see him and kind of say good bye before one of us leaves this earth. He has a large family there but rarely do any of us in the US visit him. He's also not the kind, gentle fun loving soul that my dad was so I have to get prepared for the personality. ugh. My mother will join us for the Moroccan trip. I'm praying for good health in all of this.
Goodnight strong ladies
Tanya
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Thanks for the compliments on the roses. They only thing I do for them is cut off the dead stuff in the spring, and try to water them on the days it doesn't rain, which has I've needed to do daily, these past couple of weeks. Rain this afternoon, into tomorrow morning. Boy do we need it. We had a wooden stockade fence (we have about 20 sections of fencing, just for 2 sides of the back yard) for about 25 years. My husband took it all down, and put up the new fencing by himself (my older daughter, younger son and I would bring the pieces to him). Luckily, I married a handyman. Of course everyone has jobs for him to do in our families, so I always come last. This summer, he needs to fix the darn roof, that he's replaced twice already. It leaks in the kitchen and has ruined part of the ceiling again (by-passing our bedroom, and our daughter's bedroom somehow, going down the walls). He also needs to paint 2 1/2 sides of the house (he did the front and half of the driveway side, didn't do the trim around the windows and door though) and the garage (plus fix that roof too!). I think I'm ready for vinyl siding. We had it when we bought the house, but it was cheaper for him to put cedar on the entire house than to get it put on just the 2 story addition, he put on the back of the house (with a little help from his 82 year old grandfather). He said he wasn't putting up vinyl by himself (I don't blame him, his turning 55 in August), and it's so expensive to have it done. I'll paint as high as I can reach. I don't do ladders. I don't like heights. Of course, he painted the lower half of the driveway side. So that entire side will be his! Those are the outside ones. The inside painting of the hallway, bathroom, and our daughter's room will wait until fall/winter. Love him dearly, but get the butt in gear! LOL
Lynne-Are you going on a cruise to the Bahamas? We took one (our first) on Carnival, a 4-day to the Bahamas (we sent the older kids home for school, it was Oct, and Mom, our youngest, in elementary school, and us, went to Disney the rest of the week). They stopped in Nassau for a day, we were stuck on the ship the rest of the cruise. Hated the cruise, we just shopped and 3 of the kids (my eldest son had that bowl/ skater cut at the time, so his sisters and him were the only ones that did it, the youngest wanted to do his too, but his hair was too short). I've always wanted to do it. When we went to Punta Cana, they were doing it at the pool,. It was the day before we were leaving, so I skipped it. I wish I had it done. Even my husband said it might be my last chance. My hair was to my waist then, it probably would have cost a fortune. If it every grows back, I'm definitely having it done! LOL The second time we went, we stayed on Paradise Island (right next to Nassau, horribly high bridge connecting the two). We didn't stay in the beautiful pink hotel, we stayed one that faced the harbor (it used to be a Holiday Inn), it was an all inclusive with 2 restaurants. It was cheap and we only stayed 4 nights there too with his brother and wife. The beach wasn't nice, but there was a pool. We took a small walk to the other side of the island to a beautiful beach. We also rented scooters, and let the guys drive (I should have rented my own, I have a motorcycle license, which you didn't need, but it helps). Yes we went over that steep bridge. I just buried my face in my husband's back going up, and coming back down the other side. Oh and it's a toll bridge on the way back, so you are waiting in line on the bridge. And yes, they drive on the other side of the road. We went to the aquarium at that pink hotel (I can't remember it's name, just looked it up, The Atlantis), at night it's free. They get all the cruise ship people over there during the day. We checked out all the yachts docked there too. One was a Hagen Das yacht, and it's name was Frozen Assets, with a double dot over the o. Yes we need to make a plan for our next get-together. Next week isn't good for me either, since I'm having chemo this week.
Mae-You enjoy your trip to the Bahamas too. Which Island are you staying on? I've only been to Nassau/Paradise Island. My best friend went to Eleuithra for her honeymoon, over 30 years ago. They stayed at a Club Med (I don't think there are any of those left!). 2 more weeks and your are done! Enjoy your concert and those birthdays!
Tanya-Enjoy your camping trip! Sounds fun! Sounds like you have a busy few weeks. Enjoy NY, DC, and Morocco. I hope your health hangs in there, as I do for all of us. We always get the insurance for our flights, just in case. Haven't had to use it yet for us, but we did for our Mom when she couldn't go to FL with us. Glad we did it.
Well I have to shower and get ready for my PA/blood work appointment (that should have been done tomorrow with my chemo! Again, GRRRR!). Let's see if I can get the next chemo appointment in 3 weeks, today. I will try to avoid Stephanie. Last time she said Lynne, I can take you over here, so of course I had to go to her. All 3 were available. I pray she's on the phone today! I'm not in the mood for her crap!
Have a wonderful day everyone! Hugs!
Lynne
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MJH~i love that bike. Someone I adore in my neighborhood as a teenager has that same bike and she loved it so much. Now she's getting married in July. Such memories. You look beautiful smiling in the wonderful weather. I haven't rode a bike in years. Maybe a sense of freedom and feeling the wind around me again. I have been invited to the wedding but it's like two hours away.. one way!
I am Not sure if I'll be able To make it or not. Am I the only One who cannot sleep in a regular bed ? The problem I have I guess I where my mets are located in my spine, I need to lay slightly bent but almost flat no way flat, I haven't slept in my own bed since after my mastectomy, it's just too painful Its like laying on cement for me Plus my left arm has lymphodema (sp) and that also causes issues.. my right arm way before diagnosis, I was injured in a tubing accident and was told it was thoracic outlet syndrome. So I have so much going on It makes me sick. I would like to go and celebrate, but I can't dance, I can't be up For super long periods of time. Or sitting for also long periods as well. I guess by definition= my new normal.
Which makes traveling impossible. Not to mention I have two dogs and three adult children living in the House that cannot take care of themselves, and are not really ever home. One dog, who is nick named grandpa now...he has got the greys and is a little shaky on the back legs. He is 10 years old. But the other dog is nine and whips around likes he's a middle aged dog playing with toys and jumping in the air catching things. We believe he will be around for quite a while. DH’snew place for the next year doesn't allow dogs. Then once his son graduates 2019 we will sell both houses and combine our homes finally. Seems like these past two and half years have been like 4..
hope everyone is doing well. Gracie ??
Much love ~M~
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know some of you are having scans. Waiting for results.. Just here waiting for some news. Much love. ~M~
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I'm exhausted catching up here ladies. Would love a like button on here!!
Back to reality here, scan on Friday, Oncologist on Tuesday, with treatment on same day. Trying not to think too much about the scan
. Keep well everyone x
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Minnie~I hope
You had a wonderful trip and are resting up. You amaze me with all that you do.
All you ladies are remarkable! Thinking of you scanners.
Bigbhome? Love you friend waiting. Much love ~M~
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