My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Still stable, which is good enough for me. Thanks everyone 😀 Now, time to come down off the nervousness of the last few hours.
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Stable is great Mae!! Very happy for you!! Great news!!0
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Congratulations Mae!!!
Yes stable is great.
Gumdoctor
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My CT scan went well. I even treated myself to lunch at one of my fav places. Nice excuse eh?
ONC appt in 1 week. Will get to enjoy a little scanxiety in the mean time.
Thank you for all that were "in my pocket"...and in Illimae's pocket at the same time. You all are SO TALENTED!!! and thoughtful. Thank you sincerely.
Gumdoctor
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So happy for your illimae!!
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Mae, what great news! I know that scan exhaustion. It gets you after the fact. We power through and then, whoosh, all the air comes out. I think you could have a marvelous little nap with a few crawdads tucked in your pillow for judicious snacking.
Micmel, I wonder about the dying process where our caregivers also suddenly impose their moral standards on us. Like, we shall keep you comfy but the cost of that is that we get to deny you your smokes and drink, if that's what you want. I was so surprised that your dad would be served a drink, but why not? If these are his last days on earth, I say break out the GOOD booze and have at er! But these emotional outbursts are indeed exhausting.
Everyone else, I read but I have a very hard time keeping everything straight. I don't know how you all do it! It's Mae's fault, constantly distracting me with food items. Attention Deficit Food Disorder, it gets all my attention! Hope and hugs and gentle encouragement to all who are in the thick of the battle.
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Runor, ADFD, ha!
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Some of the beautiful California super bloom0 -
Runor~My Dad is a alcoholic and has drank since I can even remember. Smoked too. I look at it like if someone would ever tell me while I was healthy in my life, what to do, id be like uh eff you pal. I don't feel death should be any different he's a grown man 77, is aware he's dying., he just wants to die doing what he wants to do. I don't blame him honestly. If I am in hospice, and I don't have my dried bud and my vape oil. Someone will be getting their ass kicked. I mean different strokes for different folks. The head nurse says, she sees it all of the time. People are addicted to many many things. I am just exhausted after today, I did his laundry and it's ready. Back on the horse tomorrow! Be safe sweetheart!
Mae~See what you do , with your food postings and your travel reporting with the stars. Your mountain cabin, those cool critter cams. You make us want that grub!!! Lol so happy happy for stable my friend!! 🌹
Worrying about Parry....haven't seen her in a few days it seems. Gracie. Still waiting. Hello to Santabarbarian!
Donna~ omg. Is that what I think it is? The sun????? Wow it really does exist! You've given me hope that it will return to my corner of the country! Cloudsville USA checking in. Beautiful view. I'm officially jealous of everything! The food. Lol the scenery. Lol oh well. I'm going to grub hard tomorrow!
Dorimak~ welcome to our thread. Nice to see the support for our girl Mae. She's something else for sure! We are lucky to have her!
Much to love to all.
Parry. Just let us know you're ok honey. ❤️ You!
~M~
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Hello back, Micmel! :-)
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Santabarbarian~Good morning. Hope everything is shining bright in your world today. Little chilly here, don't really want to get out of bed honestly. But who does really It's nice to see you here ! Hugs to you friend ! ~M~
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Mae, So good to hear you’re stable!
Gumdoctor, Hoping like heck for your news to be good too!
Donna, The blooms are fabulous, and you look fabulous too! My sis just called after hiking in Joshua Tree and said the wildflowers are especially beautiful this year.
Micmel, Keep on keepin on, as they say. Really hoping you reach a better level soon.
I had an annoying conversation yesterday that has stuck in my head. I’ve made some great friends in my water exercise class who know about my slew of tests and diagnosis. As we stood around waiting for class, one asked if I’m going to have (traditional) chemo so I tried to explain the goal for MBC being stability not curative, that it may be down the line of treatments. Then we turned to which hospital system I’m at because most people here use one of two big systems. Then a know-it-all acquaintance-not-friend said, oh they’re more aggressive at the other place. Sure. They’d cure me while mine isn’t trying.
I let it go, not wanting to waste my energy. But then I keep replaying the conversation in my mind over and over.0 -
Mae, So good to hear you're stable!
Gumdoctor, Hoping like heck for your news to be good too!
Donna, The blooms are fabulous, and you look fabulous too! My sis just called after hiking in Joshua Tree and said the wildflowers are especially beautiful this year.
Micmel, Keep on keepin on, as they say. Really hoping you reach a better level soon.
I had an annoying conversation yesterday that has stuck in my head. I've made some great friends in my water exercise class who know about my slew of tests and diagnosis. As we stood around waiting for class, one asked if I'm going to have (traditional) chemo so I tried to explain the goal for MBC being stability not curative, that it may be down the line of treatments. Then we turned to which hospital system I'm at because most people here use one of two big systems. Then a know-it-all acquaintance-not-friend said, oh they're more aggressive at the other place. Sure. They'd cure me while mine isn't trying.
I let it go, not wanting to waste my energy. But then I keep replaying the conversation in my mind over and over.
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Micmel, I’m with you on the sun!! I can’t wait to see it again!! It teases us from time to time but I’m ready to see shine!!! I swear I feel so much better when the sun shines.
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Glorious superbloom, Donnabelle!
Rosie, re: the know-it-all-woman...grrrr. There’s a thread on this forum which I believe is called Bonfire of the Goddesses. Basically, you get to vent about any troubles or problems at all, no holds barred, and “toss”whatever you want into “the bonfire.” The first year of my diagnosis, I had horrible encounter with a Nurse Hatchett that left me quite upset, and I went on the Bonfire thread and described what she put me through. The next person replied to my post, writing: “Stand back. I am going to kick that bitch into the fire for you!” It is surprising how good that made me feel and I’ve never forgotten it. So I’m pushing the know-it-all into the bonfire for you!
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Hello Lovely ladies. The sun is finally shining. Wow. But it’s still chilly outside. I’m a sleepy bear today. I need a break from going out today. I’m hoping my step mother will be visiting today. It will be three days in a row for me , if I go today. I’m a little tired. I guess I’ll wait and see.
Hoping for all good results. You wonderful ladies are in my thoughts and heart always. Good people here for sure.
Much love ~M~
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Sucess, long awaited sucess. My new MO and cancer center Rocks. I'm finally in the right place. Why did I wait so long to make this change?!?!
Efficiency, oh how I've missed you for two long years. My own portal, I've missed you too. Sometimes waiting two weeks to get a lab report. I already have two lab reports from yesterday. What a difference..
Okay, so I feel like I was lost and now am found, feels like home. She was very impressed that I was such a good historian that I could rattle off my whole BC, MBC history. She was writing it all down saying this is saving me so much time. It was all in my portal but to verbally give her my 27 year history to summarize for her was helpful. My children say I have a vault like memory, maybe that's a good thing.
The plan: PET on April 8, Appointment with MO April 11. This is the only part I was disappointed about. I thought in such a big cancer center I would be able to get in sooner for PET.So, I have over two weeks of scanxiety. Garr. But at least I'll be able to see it on my portal.
She says X might be what she puts me back on. That would be great. But, she was glad I had a wash out period so that I might be eligible for some clinical trials. She's going to check into that and let me know next visit.
Life is looking up for this MBCer. 💞
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Divine, what a funny story! Kick that bitch into the fire indeed!
Rosie, it does shock me sometimes that people are willing to offer their opinions even when they don’t have the knowledge to make a judgement. I have found that the vast majority of people that I talk with have no clue about MBC. They hear that there are good statistics about curing breast cancer and that is what sticks with them. A lot of times I just smile and nod my head. Too much to go into to educate everyone. I am convinced that even some close friends and family have an idea that I am on the road to a cure. It is exhausting to go into the whole story. I went to the dentist yesterday and even she asked me if I was close to the end of my treatment. Umm, no. I will be in treatment for as long as I live. On the tooth, she gave me an option of a filling that would last 3-5 years, or a crown. Haha, I told her the filling would be fine.
Donna
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Divine, that’s hilarious!! I’m not one to literally wish that on anyone but for blowing off steam, sure! Thanks for having my back.
Donna, so true that people don’t understand what an MBC diagnosis really means. I admit that I don’t often come right out and say Stage 4, because I just don’t want the sad eyes, but I’m very open about it being metastatic and that it’s spread to other parts of my body. I’ve also had quite a few people tell me that I look good, so I guess they were expecting worse. That one I let go figuring they’re trying to be nice. Right now I’m actually feeling pretty normal, probably because I’m pretty new at it all.
Grannax, wow, that’s great you had such a good experience with your new MO. I hope your next appoint is just as good! (And that the wait goes fast for you)
Micmel, how is your day going? Maybe after the fireworks yesterday you need a day off from visiting. Sending you the best vibes and a burst of energy
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congratulations Mae stable is wonderful
Gum doctor I’m happy you’re done and thanks for recognizing our skill set.
Rosie 24 I am not fond of know it all’s like that. Maybe she can go to that cancer place if she needs it in the future after she’s kicked into the bonfire. Thanks divine for that bonfire image. I’ve run into numerous know it alls they don’t stop flapping until you tell them something really rude and salty.
My insurance company oncology nurse called me this morning to go over what services are available and also standards of care. She gave me this website NCCN.org and it’s a website where we can see if our doctors are meeting the agreed upon standards of care. That website is not affiliated with my insurance. Also she told me that “cancer centers of excellence”, is also a listing which allows us to see what the top centers are.
With all that said where I go is not a center of excellence but I am happy with the care and rapport I have. They have referred me twice for surgery at the excellent center.
Donnabelle your picture is wonderful. Sunny here in FL and the mosquitoes are biting too.
Grannax thank God thongs are moving forward and you’ve found efficiency in your new place of healing.
Micmel your father sounds like all the elder folk in hospitals. I’m sure Lynnwood could share some stories about them.
I think Parry said she was going on a trip with her sister/visit.
Welcome santabarbarian. Looking forward to getting to know you.
Hi dorimak and Runor.
Hello everyone else. Yesterday I took a spontaneous trip to the beach with my grandchildren.
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Tanya, great photos!!! Nothing like a trip to the beach to soothe my soul. I love seeing the sunshine and the happiness in your pictures. Just looking at them makes me feel good. Thanks so much for sharing
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Tanya, thank you for the beach pictures. Sitting here with cold temps, wishing I could be at a warm beach!
Micmel, glad your dad calmed down with the drink. You said "ginger ale and bourbon". Never tried that combo, but maybe I will.
Grannax, yay. Fingers crossed for everything coming along in the next few weeks.
Mae! So happy to hear stable.
Donna, that's a pretty picture of you and the flowers.
A weird story about me. Night before last I thought there was a chance I was dying (physical stuff I don't need to go into). Obviously I didn't but during the night I was concerned and a little scared. I decided not to wake up my husband and I was actually relieved if that had turned out to have been my time. Still, I'm okay to still be here today.
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Grannax~Hallelujah on finding that new MO. A portal means everything to us patients for sure! I’m so pleased for you. It must be a weight off of your shoulders. You deserve great care.
Rosie~ I definitely was too exhausted to visit today. I slept all afternoon. From 12–4. I am just worn out. All that emotional stuff wore me out. I can’t get upset like that. It really isn’t good for me at all. I feel like crap today for sure. I’m resting today for sure. Good advice!
Tanya~ that grandson looks so happy to be on that beach. How special that is. I wanted to tell you that pic with looking out into the ocean. It’s magnificent. Quite gorgeous in fact . Whoever took that must have had a heck of a special moment. Wow beautiful!
Lynnwood~ the Sun! 🌞🌞😜wow And I slept all day long but oh well I obviously needed it badly. I Made sure my stepmother was going tonight I can’t hack everyday and I honestly don’t want to fight with him That’s sooo draining . I agree with Tanya, the elderly can be very angry and irritated a lot! It was eye opening for sure But I saw some hidden strength in him He was going to get up , he wasn’t kidding , have you dealt with this?
Muddling~ I know I’m VERY thankful you’re here today my goodness, that’s a scary thing to feel and process in your mind. I guess deep down we kinda know. I’m bracing myself for progression this scan, like I do every month. It is not until May, but I’m still watching the blocks on the calendar everyday marking them off subconsciously... it’s a shit. Stew... but your sisters love you
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grannax, congrats on the new MO!
Donna/Rosie, I’ve the people that don’t get MBC either. Today is stopped by the office (been on sick leave since August) and everyone thinks I’m in remission because I have hair again. I only explain to those who care.
Great pics Tanya 😀
Thanks for the well wishes, hello to all.
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Murphy's law checking in!! Had such a nice restful day. My step mother visited with my dad so I was having a day off. I was sitting there drinking water like everyday. It went down the wrong hole. I started to choke on the water. Then I started to throw up from choking. Since I only have one lung. I didn't have enough oxygen to get a breath in to cough the water out of my system. So I choked more. I was alone.. I started to get dizzy.. and the fuzzies started in my eye sight area. I was passing out.
The last thing I remember was feeling an odd gastric feeling of pain and a sour stomach and taste. Turns out I have aspirated fluids and particles into my bad lung and I am being observed for possible complications for my breathing and pneumonia developing. Good thing is I'm already on antibiotics. Bad thing is. The pain is off the charts. My chest is raw and hurts and burns. I have never had this happen before. I have to sleep upright tonight because of the fear of it trying to drain while sleeping. Which I could choke all over again. I'm trying to cough it out. My poor chest and stomach. Looks like if I can't get it out myself. I go Tomorrow and have an X-ray and see what happens next. Any experiences with this. Would be awesome. Lynnwood?? ! 😞I've read people can die from this. It's always something !
Hope all is well. With all. Much love !
I'm afraid to go to sleep. I don't want to choke!
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Micmel sounds awful. I had no idea that anything like that could happen. Did you tell your DH?
Please call Onc emerg services or for help emergency style if you need it. That’s really dangerous aspirating into your lung.
Don’t be a hero tonight.
Tanya
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Yeah quite scary. I’m
Not enjoying it at all!! Thanks for caring.
Hope all is well with you and your wonderful family. Love those pics!! ~M~
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Well Ladies, tomorrow is my 4 month pet/ct scan - cap to mid thigh. Always a little nervous but I've been on a kisqali break since December so we'll see if letrozole can hold the line. Looking for Texas size pockets
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Jo - Will be there with you.
Gumdoctor
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