My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Jen~I realized a year after my diagnosis that those blues are like a season to me. Some seasons are cold, and dark, some are sunny but i shy from the heat. I get upset by commercials, seeing an old couple walking together. The smallest things make me just fall into the pit. You’re not alone. In the blue. Hugs beauty
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I know she has many TX to chose from. It's just discouraging. She's supposed to call me today. This will be my fourth line. Basically, Nothing I've tried has been effective since last October. Nine months these monsters have responded to nothing.
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I am in Gum Doctors pockets. Along with Grannax. Fourth line. Maybe it's the golden ticket. I am praying for the fact that it is going to help a lot! Bag o tricks Time oncology world!! And stat!
Mae~ I struggle with my faith, i always have. I know you're not religious and I've always known that about you. You have always kept it real. Another thing I admire is you're knowing that you just plain didn't want children period. I find that a heck of a lot better than people who have kids and treat them poorly, or abuse them. Neglect. Whatever words fits. I think you know exactly who you are and I find that very refreshing and strong. So thank you for being you.
With this disease for me I question everything. Now. What have I done? Why my kids? What will they do when I'm gone?. Will I have to haunt some new bitch, if she doesn't treat my special DH like gold?. Not things I ever dreamed I'd be worried about at the age of 49. Sucks ass!!!!!!
Hugs to all that may just need one !
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Grannax- So sorry to hear of your progression. It sucks. Ibrance, AA, and X right? Let us know what she suggests next. I need to dig out my Bestbird Guide to see what it says. Further testing for mutations?? Praying for you.
I did my CT this morning. Now the wait. When is the meds (Ibrance and Letrozole) going to quit for me??????? This is sooooo much fun, NOT.
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Candy~Hope everyone wasn’t too noisy in your pocket. We tend to get rowdy a little. I hope your wait isn’t too long. Hope they are on the ball. Am sending nothing but good vibes and thoughts your way! Did you drink that chalk flavor? Or did they give you the new flavored kind. ? Which really to me, makes a difference.!
Hugging you tight. But gentle
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Micmel- My drink has always been Lemonade flavored, water consistency. 1 quart in amount. Then the IV contrast that makes you feel like you peed your pants and feel warm all over.
Glad everyone was in my pocket. I go to my appointments alone.
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Dear Grannax,
My prayers are with you. I know exactly how you feel. None of the anti-hormonal drugs worked for me, and I’m in the same ‘waiting boat’ like you were with Xeloda. My next PET scan is in August, and then onc will decide whether or not Xeloda is working. But you know what? I am moving forward, planning getaways from the heat, and have decided every time I get bad news, to do something for myself. Today is pedicure day! Love it! So find something you love and go play. SendingBIG hugs for you!
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Micmel, thank you!
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Candy~Ahhh yes the good old warm britches. It is really amazing the things we and our bodies go through. I don't like the thought of. You going alone. I goa lot alone myself actually. I just hate driving. People are real dicks on the road. I have enough stress already. I'm going To nap early today. I seem to do better later. I know is totally impossible not to worry.. just know you're not worrying alone. Holding your hand. ♾
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Thank you Micmel for "holding my hand". I don't mind going to scans alone because they are pretty easy--good grief what we get used to and think of as easy. I do wish I had someone to go with to my MO appts. To hold my hand, comfort me if bad news and to say WooHoo if good news. But alas, that is not the way it is. I live in a small town, go to our town onc, and local hospital for the tests so driving is no big deal. Just hometown traffic. Have a good nap. Hugs.
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Thanks for your encouragement. Still no call.
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Candy~I would love for us all to be able to hop into the support pocket bus and travel wherever needed. I don’t want anyone to be alone.
Grannax~I wish they would shit or get off the pot... I mean we are only human beings who are basically pacing back and forth. Waiting for their words. Really makes me so mad. Anger boils then come the tears.
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Just got back and Dr Angel called while we were driving.
Mixed report: Liver blood clot gone, fatty liver changes, new blood clot in inferior vena cava (was on last CT but not mentioned).
Now we need liver MRI + new labs before next Monday. Then she will see me Monday and we will make decisions we need to make.
Drained. Need to go to bed! Thank you all for being in my pockets. Husband wondered why I was smiling so much today. Because I had all of you with me!!!
Gumdoctor
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Gum Doctor~I know we can be a bit rowdy. But it’s like having your own cheering squad with you! This is hard stuff we deal with here. I’m glad you had your DH with you. I realize each person processes things differently. When I go into that setting. I say to myself over and over “ZONE IT, ZONE IT”. I can cry later. But at that moment I need to feel some control. I hope against hope you will be sound asleep soon glad this day is done. Hugs to you sweet woman!
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waving hello to sweet boo boo. Don’t know how I missed you post. 😃😃
Ok Runor. Where ya been.? I hope You’re ok.
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Gumdoctor-- Praying you rest well. Get the tests done quickly. And have a plan in place after Monday. You can do this girl. And we will be with you in spirit. (Wish we could be together in person)
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I honestly wish we could all hang out together. I would want to have everyone able
To associate a face behind the support we give and receive. You’re all such special ladies! I hope everyone sleeps well goodnight!!! The miles separate us but the feelings certainly do not.0 -
I am here, Micmel. I drop in almost every day to read. I am sad to hear Grannax, Gumdoctor and others are having a hard time. I shake my head and marvel at how people continue on. It's impressive as hell when you think about it.
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Good Early Morning Everyone -
I have been up for at least an hour...cannot sleep...not surprising...ONC called with mixed CT report:
- Liver blood clot gone
- Mild fatty liver changes that were not there before
- New blood clot in inferior vena cava (not new because it was in previous CT but not mentioned in report and has not responded to blood thinner tx)
Next steps: MRI, blood work, meet with ONC on Monday to determine tx plan
Thank you so very much for your amazing support...I am scared and heartbroken...not proud of that but it is where I'm at. Many of you can relate...
For those of you not on Facebook...I am bringing the mountain to you...here is my daily post for today..
You just never know what is waiting for you…in the very next moment…
One day…the Damsel in Distress wondered…how will she survive…this impossible life Storm...With every twist and turn…the Storm did not stop…raging…growing…engulfing…stealing her life away…
Then…her Prince Charming swept her off her feet…took her to a magical place…full of beauty and wonder…to forget the Storm…for just a moment…and together…they discovered this impossibly beautiful Damselfly...
...Even in the middle of life's raging storms…something so unbelievable…so amazing…so inexplicable...can show up…to remind you…you just never know…what is about to happen…
They call that…H O P E…
On this amazing Thursday...may you find the beautiful surprise(s) awaiting you…to restore your Hope…
Love to you All, Gumdoctor
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Runor~Hi sweetheart, glad to see you. I always Ike to keep track of my peeps. Hope everything is good with you. I know you were dealing with your special friend. I wish we could all get together, sit and have coffee.
Gum Doctor~I love blue....that is gorgeous....I am a firm believer in little miracles. You just keep being your wonderful self, hang in there as best you can. I know you just want to run out of your skin. It makes you loose your mind. I just really hope you know that we all understand. Look at Grannax, still no call. This is not ok at all! Annoying.
Get with it medical people!
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Gum Doctor,
What you wrote is so beautiful. And you are so right. Hope is exactly what I need. I’m sure the other ladies agree. Thank you for sharing the picture....it’s also beautiful, even though I’m not sure what it is.
I hope you have a good weekend despite the news. Silver linings....I strongly believe they are always there if we look for them.
Big hugs,
Booboo
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Hi Mel,
No worries. I think you and I post at the same time so it’s all good! Hope you have a good day. We’re leaving for our trip to Maine tomorrow, so I may not be posting much. But rest assured you are all in my prayers and on my mind.
Grannax, especially you. I’m like Mel. Very tired of waiting for answers. And you shouldn’t have to either! Next visit may be my last with my current onc if she can’t call me sooner than two weeks after a scan. That’s been the norm, and I am not taking it. There are lots of fish in the sea....
All the best to my MBC family,
Boobo
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Yes, I'm still waiting for the call to action. I'm ready for action. I did write on her portal. Surely she will contact me today.
I've been doing my own research, asking on boards, I want to be prepared,. I know she will offer me options. I think I need big guns for this fourth line. The mediastinal lymph node one is giving me trouble and getting worse. It's right by crucial nerves. It can paralysis you vocal chord, cause problems eating or swallowing. Yikes it's serious. Also, the ones in the liver are hot. One is up to 8.8 uptake, that is very high.
Ill be ready when she calls. 💞
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Sad to read today about the “norm” that our doctors take their time to give results. It destroys my heart and mind waiting. Grannax and BooBoo sorry you e had to wait soooo long. Boo enjoy Maine.
Grannax and Gumdoctor you. both still have fighter spirit. The lines of treatment are still available but the waiting for new plans and wondering what will work is frightening. Gumdoctor your angel doctor is amazing especially in comparison to what many of us deal with.
Gumdoctor your dragonfly is beautiful it matches your prose.
Anyone going through something today you’re in my thoughts and prayers. Stay cool.
Tanya
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Here’s a flower garden in my backyard next to the back porch. Several years ago I searched high and low for a piece of what I’d call “garden art”—some kind of statue or metal piece to give this area some interest. When I could find nothing suitable, I built this dry stack column of bricks and bought an armillary from Hobby Lobby and set it on top. The perfect accent; we all love it! I was inspired by all the botanical gardens we’ve visited.
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Divine,
Wow. You’ve got some talent, lady! That garden art is really cool. I have a black thumb. I’ve even killed cactus in my past. My sister has what you do. Her gardens have been in magazines. Just beautiful. Thanks for sharing
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Divine--- I am not a flower person, but that is really cool !!!! I like the art. You did a good job with the column of bricks and the Hobby Lobby piece is really cool. And the bricks around the parameter ties it all in. Good job.
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Divine beautiful
Tanya
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BooBoo!~Today here even felt like humid soup. I couldn't even go outside. It's awful. The second you walk outside it's instant heat and sweating buckets. I hate it. Storms of course because of the humidity. This weekend they are calling for close to 100. Yuck and yuck again. I look forward to the fall. But then again when it's winter I want spring. It's odd. I hope you had a good day!
Tanya~Hello darling. Seems like we do a lot of new normal... adjustments.... always sucking it up walking into the fire. No matter what when just have to do what we have to do. No choices here. Hope your wonderful family is well!!
Divine~ That is really something, I really do think it's a perfect centerpiece for that garden, I love the light colored brick. And the perfect choice. It's really a great idea and choice. Then again I'd need a really great centerpiece because my flowers would not live because my thumb is black! Love it ! Well-done. You and that porch!
Gum Doctor~ on my mind for sure. Hope tonight. You sleep better..
Grannax~ hoping they get their heads out of the water cooler and start making the phone calls. We need answers. Don't they know that this shit drives us crazy? I mean come on !!!!
Runor~ always nice to see you here. Always.
Simone ~ hope your day was a good one and not one that was so hot. It wasn't pleasant to even step outside.
Candy~ sending you hugs and and maybe some Yahtzee we could play? im warning you I suck at board games. I was trying to remember all the ones we used to play as a kid. My first thought of course was
Candy land!!!! 🍭 🍬!!!!
Any suggestions ? I know there are a ton!!!!
Gracie. Parry.. MJH.... thinking of you
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Divine, it looks beautiful!!!!
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