My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Micmel - We have2horses. I will get pictures of them tomorrow. Maddie is our mare and BigB is our gelding. We have had Maddie for 10years and we had BigB 7 years ago and bought him back in March. Hence my name BigB home. I have always regretted letting him go and was so grateful to get him back. On our farm, they were stalled side by side and always turned out together. They remembers each other immediately. I cried happy years! Actually, Maddie was a phenomenal high performance show horse. That ended at dx, not so much for physical reasons, but the combination of demanding training and stress of showing. BigB was show horse but I bought him to be my go to horse. Every once in awhile I would show him in small local shows for fun. Never expected anything from him except a good time. They areTennessee the Walkers. I gave up all Saddlebreds after dx. Needed smooth rides.
I love them to bits! They keep me sane.
Anyway, Good night .
Hugs
Claudia
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Micmel - I wrote that last post last night and was so tired at the time, I completely forgot the most important part. YAY on your TM!!!!! Doing the happy dance for you!! So absolutely wonderful!
Keetmom - How special was that! What a treasure for your family! Beautiful memories, that's what we all should be making!
Nan - still here holding you in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you are feeling some soothing quietness.
I will get those pictures today.
Three of my favorite boys!!
Hugs and prayers
Claudia
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Claudia ~ hi sweetheart!! Thanks so much. ! I feel pretty good today and wish I could help you with those horses!!! Is that your DS and grand children? (The adult looks young!!)😍😍😍💜 my heart is so warmed by seeing that. I feel like I already know you. I did notice you got some responses in the ibrance thread. Which I was happy about. You're too special to be not responded to my friend!! I pray everyday I will be able To reach a point to where I see my grandchildren. Someone I am close to here on the boards said to me yesterday. You need to start living your life. You have lazy cancer!! It made me smile and ever since I have been uplifted and smiling. You ladies here are such a part of me now. I pray to see Nan soon. I'm getting worried. But do not want to intrude if she needs her space and time. But I so care. I can't wait to see the horses. And thanks for he good wishes about the TMarkers. Phew!👍😌😰. Love you guys lots! Here is my hound dog Deeohgee. I loved to see your precious family in your lives that warm your heart And such Special people. I'll drag together some pics as well.Thanks also Keetmom for sharing your special day out atLandau field. What a ride that must have been. And you guys so desperately deserve all the good things that come your way !! Much love ❤️ ~M~
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Micmel -
Thank you for sharing! This is dh and Skittles from when we were camping. Yes, that was ds and Grands! I will tell Ds you said that, he is 36 years old. Gosh that makes me feel ancient. I am going to be the big 60 in a couple of weeks. I can tell you, on most days I don't feel it, then on others I feel 90. Horse pictures do not look good. Will have Dh take a couple for me this weekend.I love that your cancer is lazy! Mine is a bully, pops up and threatens to get me, then when we start fighting back it runs off with its tale tucked between its legs. Thank God!
Woke up today and having rough day. I have two terrible character traits, 1 I am very sensitive and my feelings are easily hurt, 2 I am extremely empathetic so I feel everyone's suffering and happiness(grateful for that) to strongly. Since I am feeling worn out today, I am going to respond to a couple of posts and then take a break for a couple of days. Know that you are always going to be in my thoughts and prayers. Nan and Keetmom, also. Love you and will be back in a couple of days.
Stay strong! Hugs, hugs and more hugs to you! Have a great weekend!
Prayers
Claudia
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hello melissa , claudiia and amie....i made it thru my scan then chemo yesterday( thanks for being there in spirit, it helped ), then the whole nite with out a call from my doc....my last brain scan was the one that showed i needed that emergency brain surgery so that must have been in the back of my mind this whole time....i see my brain doc tuesday so hopefully there are no new little ones either (just hate that damn halo they use for the gamma knife treatment, its like a horror show)....yesterday my hemoglobin was to low again so i got a double dose of procrit to build it back up( had a dose last week too), i think that must b messing with my mood or maybe its the new chemo or the parp inhibitor(oh a butterfly just landed on me ,huge yellow and black one, just what i needed for a true smile)...i have more CTs scheduled in 2 weeks to see if this new treatment is working....my daughter is getting married in september and im so happy for her but i cant do anything to help with it, in fact im out of the loop when it comes to the shower and all the other fun stuff i just dont have the strength for anymore ( its so sad, she is my only child)...i picked up some sleep aids at the health food store this week ( i also get twitchie at night ) and i have gotten 3 really good nights sleep so i really am feeling much better and mentally stronger....i'll never understand how i can just nod off during the day then lay with my eyes open half the night and i wont let myself nap during the day just for that reason but my eyes close anyway....M- i'm so sorry to hear about your son and i really hope there is no lasting damage....A- i have a friend who started a chairity in our area to redo rooms for kids in the fight since they spend so much time there and the work they did just blew me away...i would love to see pics when its done....C- i'll meet you back here when you are ready.....thank you all so much for not forgetting about me, i really feel that alot of people in my life would rather not think of what i've got going on, no not everyone thank God....I never thought that i would ever be the person who could bring the whole room down just by walking in ( oh i dont feel that right here ) but i can feel the whole energy change when people see death so close , its to weird.....cancer is such a lonely disease......i promise i wont leave any of you lovely ladies feeling alone any more....thanks for being there and try to keep shining bright....love you, Nancy
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Here are some pictures from the room reveal...it is AMAZING..... she is SO happy....Emma LOVES doing crafts and LOVES duct tape!!! We had an amazing weekend...didn't sleep much last night in hotel so think I will crash soon...we eventually have to figure what to do with everything they took,out of her room, but that is for another day..my bed is calling...
Amie
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Nan~!!!!!!Hi sweetheart! I am so happy to see you beautiful! Welcome back. We missed you so very much. We were so concerned and worried about you. The butterfly sounds lovely. I haven't seen many lately and always wonder why Or where they have gone. ? When I was little they were in abundance!! Love seeing your name here 💜💜 huge hugs Nan. We love you so glad to hear you're feeling better. I needed to know you were ok!!
A~ Omfg!!! That room is awesome and that desk is so damn neat. I am so happy for you and your family. That is really something to see her smiling face on her bed with such happiness. I am so smiling seeing such a beautiful smile on her face. The precious. Baby!!! Love the carpet. Walls. Bed! Everything. That is such an amazing thing you had done for your family. It is so amazing what good out there, there still is. I am so thrilled you found some. I hope every day that room brings her some much deserved joy! Way to go mom and dad!!!! Hugs hugs love you!
C~ your place is always waiting here. Rest your body and mind and we will be here thinking of you. And waiting to see your beautiful smiling face back here with your friends. Your DH looks so kind and sweet. Warms my heart to see all the wonderful people we share out lives with, I am still working on my phone and transferring pictures. Love you all. ~M~
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Both are sooo true!!! Wow. What a statement. These days even more. No one wants honesty anymore. It's all pretty picture paintings of what people think people should do and be. Nan~ if anyone's has issues with you and what you're going through. They are not worth your time, I think people can really suck sometimes. Like I said. No one ever understands u less they walk in your shoes. Hugs all ! Much love!! ~M~0 -
the weather has been lovely. I have felt better on my week off of medicine, but now my tongue is really back to hurting and no taste. I am watching people I care about suffer and it is not fair. Sometimes I just don't understand why people are out on this earth, only to suffer. I hope everyone is well. Haven't heard from you all! Hugs ~M ~
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M - I am praying for DR. It is horrible to be in such pain! Where is Mo in all this? Why isn't he helping her. He is the leader of her team. He should be doing something. I am furious she is being allowed to suffer like this! This is completely unacceptable! She needs a really strong patient advocate! I am praying like crazy and going to make some inquiries as to how to get better help for her! I refuse to feel helpless and am determined to find her a strong voice!
Your tongue pain is so strange. Can't they figure out the cause? I have no pain and my taste buds are not numb. I will say, things don't taste the way they used too and it can be a challenge to want to eat sometimes. When I was on Faslodax, eating meat of any kind, was rough. I had to substitute eggs, cheeses and beans for protein. It was challenging. Now the struggle is to find something that is appealing to me. Some days it is rough.
I hope you have a great day and your tongue feels better.
Hugs and prayers
Claudia
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Claudia~Hi there! The ibrance is the reason my tongue is the way it is. That oral chemo kicks your butt. With fatigue and sometimes sores and irritation in your mouth. It feels like I ate some hot pizza and burned my entire mouth. I hate it. But I'll take it over and over again to have Diana ok. I also wonder who is in charge of her case. No one should suffer ever dealing with something like this. Making a cancer patient wait behind 30 people, when they have a tube inside their body and it's extremely painful. Uh no!! I'm waiting to hear from her. I am happy to see you here. Thank you ! God bless us all.
Nan~ hope you're ok! Thinking of you !
Keetmom~ hope your family is all rested from your wonderful experience! Hugs ~M~
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Im around..recovering from wknd...car wouldn't start this am so needed a tow...leave on vacation in 10 days so attempting to think about that...feeling pretty good today though..
Amie
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a big hello to all....amie, i just love what they did with the room..and even making those flowers to match her comforter Amazing!! it inspires me to clean out and organize my art corner.....why are artists so messy? every one i know.......M-i completely agree with you and Tupac ( it is very wise) the only quote i can think of right now is from Alice " I give myself such good advise, but very seldom follow it "....so i read that the monarch butterfly population is down by almost 80percent ( they plant GMO crops that cant be killed using Round-Up, they spray R-U on crops to get a larger harvest and destroy all the milkweed which is the only plant a monarch caterpillar will eat. this practice is also destroying our bees) how do you stop this kind of destruction/Money?.....C- finding food is tough for me right now too, i find myself getting picnic foods like fresh mozzarella and red grapes or fresh avocado with chips cheese and fresh salsa. its a great time of year for eating fresh.....keep your bright lights on!!....
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Hi all, Amie, dd's room is awesome! Her smile is one of pure joy! You can't help but smile with her! I'm glad you enjoyed your weekend...yes resting up sounds like a great idea for you. So sorry to hear about your car, hopefully it's nothing serious.
Nan, I did not know that about the Monarchs, we have had quite a few this year. But we plant almost everything with the idea of getting lots of butterfly, hummingbirds and even bees( I am highly allergic) to keep everything pollinated. We also have a few lagustrem trees and crepe mertles. All I can say is we are doing our best to keep these beauties alive. I have been told to only eat non GMO foods. I do a fair job of that! You are so right about the fresh fruits, they have been a godsend for me! I keep a lot of it on hand. One of my favorite things to eat is fruit and cheese!
Z - Glad you were able to find a way that works for you! My employer made the decision for me after I was told I could not longer lift heavy items due to the abundance of bone mets inn spine. My employer decided to let me go because "Icould no longer perform the job for which I was hired" totally not true. Lifting was a very small part of my job, but what can you do? But Dh let his bookkeeping service go so I have something to feel like I'm contributing. Yay!
DR, storming the heavens with prayers for you is exactly what we are doing for you. Hoping for relief for you!
To everyone having scans this week, you are in our thoughts and prayers!
Micmel, how about fruits and cheeses for you? Hopefully the fruits will feel cool and refreshing on your tongue!
Hugs and prayers
Claudia
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Good evening ladies.
I have been sucking on ice and eating some smoothies with fruit like you mentioned Claudia! I am loving ice cream all of a sudden. Anything cold for this hard boiled tongue. DR is home thank god and not in pain for once finally !! Thank you very much.
Keetmom~ I am sorry that your car is having issues. Seems to be a theme here as well. My sons car got hit. And the same day that happened my air conditioning in my van took a crap. I can't go anywhere without air conditioning. I will self combust ! Hope it's something minor and is easy to fix. Thinking of you all
Nan~Love seeing your name here, no wonder I never see any butterflies anymore. That is sad. Such fluttering beauty and grace. If only life were that easy.
Love you ladies. ~M~
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I don't know what's going on with me but I am keeping my fingers crossed that I am continuing on this path! My mind is clearer than its ever been. Since diagnosis. With just a few small words from a friend and my infusion nurse. The nurse told me that I have lazy cancer. I never thought I would ever be happier to hear the word lazy before. But I was thrilled, sometimes things Just hit you! Then my good friend DR says. "You have to start living your life." I've been hiding and sulking. Pity party for myself. I admit it. I can't help it. It's depressing having cancer. Constant worry. Constant fear like the floor is going to drop out from under neath me at any given blood test. My mastectomy is healed. I have been considering seeing a surgeon to have reconstruction on the left and reduction on the right. Maybe they can even salvage actual nipple. I am feeling strong. No pain since Friday. It's like a switch has been thrown. Not as much napping. More awake. More alive. I am going to hope that this ibrance is really doing is work. It has to be. The tumor markers said so right ? I want to believe that. Why does our mind seem to play tricks on us ? I am ok with one day at a time. If you really think about it. That's how we lived before we knew. The only difference is we have a good idea that...we unfortunately know how. Love you guys! ~M~ Have any of you had reconstructive surgery?I need some advice on it. I'm a big chicken. Bok bok bok!!!
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I got my car back, with a fresh battery....300 later...we had to have it towed there, and then the battery is in wheel well so there is no way to change it yourself...well maybe you could but there would be lots of swearing going on..well not me but DH..
Hanging in AC..it is muggy here today, supposed to cool down later this week...need to start packing for Vacation next week or atleast thinking about it...
Hope everyone has a super day..0 -
great thread.. love is GOOD.. we are all so blessed.. nothing else matters..
Ebr
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Keetmom~$300 isn't chump change these days. I am glad though you were able to fix it before vacation. I am jealous that you're hitting the beach!!! Lucky family who deserves it!! Be safe and have a blast. Make many many memories! Hope you have beautiful weather.
EBR~ welcome. Hope this finds you well. We are like a little town pub that is like cheers so. Everyone knows your name. We are collecting love stories that make families special and build a thread where everyone's love stories and families that make our world go around live on forever!Welcome to the thread. Hope you'll hang with us. And share your happiness and stories that make you and your family unique!! Hugs~M~
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Micmel - I am so, so happy for you! There is nothing better than peace and clarity! I read your post as I was leaving Publix, and did the happy dance all the way to the car! And happily hummed the whole way home! I would have posted sooner but I am baking a "special" chocolate fudge brownie cake for my bc yoga class tonight. I am used to baking the cake, but they requested a "special" ingredient that I have never used. I am hoping it turns out well. We obviously have a very open group! Anyway, I am still smiling from your post!
If all goes well, we will be having a very happy yoga class! Oh, and my support group for caregivers is a definite go! I am so excited about that!! Wish I could be a fly on the wall! But I will settle for these people to get the support they need! I feel so good about this! Words are not enough to describe how happy I am for you!!!!
Keetmom - so happy you got your ride back! $300, ouch. Take your time packing. Sometimes I wear myself out packing so much I start my vacation exhausted. Be kind to yourself.
Its a beautiful day in the neighborhood today!
Hugs and prayers
Claudia
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Claudia~ I am wondering, what that special ingredient that may be. Yum yum! I hope your yoga goes extremely well. I am getting my own brownies next week looking very forward to how much they help. I am only in need of relief for my poor tongue. Yuck! Just annoying and it hurts. But if this is the price I pay for this medicine working I'll take it with. A smile and a tall glass of water to wash it down!!! Hope everyone had a great day. It's humid and hot here today....indoors kind of day. I pray once I figure out my foob maybe I'll be able to swim again. Ahhhh thoughts of the beach! Such memories of myself, in a small bikini with actually two boobs. I miss that. Hugs lovely ladies ~M~ I'm binge watching game of thrones. Makes me realize my life isn't that chaotic compared to a life style back then. There was no ibrance in those times. My palliative care doctor told me , honey you're in the time to where, if you're going to get cancer. Now is the time to be able to have the best treatments out there. She said. There is so much up and coming. I just want all my MBC sisters to benefit from all that's out there. Now!!!!
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I will admit that not much yogaing got done. Lots of giggling got done though!
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OMG that looks SO SO good
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That looks delicious🤤! I want some !! I have to wait for mine until next week. That sounds like a lot of fun, I am smiling at the thought of you giggling and trying to steady your control lol,Id be falling over,not to mention my bones are weak ! They offer free yoga classes here through the hospital. I am debating wether or not I am going to tackle it or not. I'm clumsy. I would most like pop a joint (no pun intended)! Or fall over randomly. I used to be so strong. I have no idea what happened to me. One day I just woke up and was told I had cancer. How the hell did that happen??? Hope everyone sleeps well I can't wait. Sleep is the only time I feel like I don't have to think. Goodnight ~M~ 💤 💤💤
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Slept pretty good. Hope everyone is feeling their possible best today! Really wanted some of that brownie cake! Feel pretty good again today. My palliative care doctor told me to take a pill of low doseage of methadone, and make it dissolve into a paste on my tongue and try to focus on the sore spots on my tongue. It seems to be slowly helping. Every night before bed I ve been doing it. Said something about the properties in the saliva mixing with the active ingredient in the methadone. It tastes like crap but if it helps. I'll try it. Hope everyone has a good day. As good as possible. Hugs ~M~
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my joke for today. Lol. Silly things make me laugh! Hope everyone is doing well. Hugs ~M~0 -
hahaha!!
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hi girlfriends/fellas?....i was going to wait till i had both scan results before i posted on this thread because i just wanted to double the good news but i cant wait and my CT is tomorrow and my brain MRI from last friday came back with NO new growth....i was so nervous this time because of the way everything had taken off growing but it stopped in my head at least....my doc is amazed (not sure how to feel about that),and they all get a huge smile when they see me (at least someone is lol) i guess it feels good to them too when something is working, my RO kept saying "wow, can you believe it's been over 2 years?" well ummmm, yup i lived it so i believe it, i think they forget that we cant leave it at the office the way that they can....it just keeps following us around.......big hugs
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That's great news and yes, I think they probably have some sense of accomplishment or it's like they're winning when something works.
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Nan - I am so happy for you! News news made my day! I can't even imagine the relief of getting that monkey off your back! Wow! Just, Wow!! I'm thinking a celebratory get together in the pub is what you need now! I pulled up my chair and grabbed a drink (ok its just water) now I'm ready to party!
M - I liked your joke today! are you at the table?
Illimae - I just love your emogi! Don't ever think you use it too much. It always brings a smile to my face! I'm so jealous though, I want one!
Hugs and prayers
Claudia
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