My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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How lovely to watch the grandkids in School at Christmas. My grandkids are all so far away, I miss seeing those things. My daughters send videos but not the same as being there.
Micmel Game of Thrones is so good. I still have 4 more seasons so will take a while to catch up. I've been told there may be a spin off series? Walking dead is on season 8, but possibly the last? I recommend Ozark on Netflix, 10 episodes. We couldn't stop watching.
On the serious side of DH left behind, we must always go back to the old saying that we must accept the things we cannot change, but make the most of the time we have together. Micmel you are so young, I hope you have years and years. I was 48 when first diagnosed, stage iv now just over a year and hitting 60 in January, but I still feel the same as when I was 30 (just wish I hadn't the same energy) lol! Ps what is 40 degrees, we do Celsius here and we have around 12 at night, 18 in day. I think warmer here? Love to all xx
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Minnie~Hi there, i am sorry that you don't get to see your grandkids very much. I know that must be hard around the holidays and Birthdays! I know they must love to get mail for their grandparents.! Game Of Thrones is amazing. I want To try the books now! I can't never get enough of it, I am holding on to every episode I can.. I don't know how I'll wait for the season 8. It does look involved no wonder it takes forever to film a season. But I can't wait already! And we measure is farenheight. Celsius is much warmer in regards to temperatures, our 40 degrees would be like your 70 degrees Celsius! I love the the weather you have obviously. Lol. I never knew that before about the temperature out there. Very interesting !! Hugs to you I am sure you're sleeping. ~M~
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Micmel, thank you for the warm welcome! Love the pub concept as I am a shameless anglophile and have visited the UK several times. I have been recommended Game of Thrones, but have not watched. I am a huge Outlander fan, though.
I live in Maine, so 40 degrees is mild for this time of year, but it can be a bit raw when the wind is blowing. Minnie31, how I love your beautiful, sunny country!
Looking forward to future conversations with all of you. Best, MJH
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MJH~please try to watch Game of Thrones. It's truly amazing. I am happy to see you back! It's a chilly day here today. Tomorrow it's supposed to drop even lower. Got the decorations finished outside today with my DS and my DD'S significant other. Last day I believe to even do it. Such a lot of work. I Am very tired, my body is read for a very very deep sleep! Rest well everyone!
Hugs and goodnight! ~M~
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Yes, love the pub concept. Being from Ireland, the pub is where you go to see your friends and meet people. Have a sing song and a good laugh! Just weakening here, the sun is coming up. DH is making some sausages this morning, so I'm having a lie in for a while. Have a great day everyone x
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Minnie~Good morning to you! I hope you slept well. I woke up to feed the dogs and I am going to go back to bed for a bit as well. Not too long! Yesterday I felt like an ox. I was functioning, decorating, no need for a nap. Which is rock star awesome to me. I have always always needed a nap. The More I force myself to do. The better I feel. Odd I know. But sooo true! Have a good rest and no pain for us today! Big hugs! ~M~
Miss my regs too! Claudia,Mae, Chelle,Keetmom,50's, Nan where have you been my sweet friend? NO1, Lynne (Man) did you remove your sweet pic?
Much love ~M~
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Ok I woke up today and fed The dogs. I didn't feel tired enough to go back to bed. I am actually awake and I felt great. I'm hoping that if I don't nap during the day. I am stay awake. But who the heck knows. So for this second. I feel pretty good. I hope everyone is doing well. I am almost done my shopping., I have stocking stuffers to finish. They add up too and I am broke ! Happy Friday everyone ! ~M~
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Good morning! Woke up to snow in South Texas! We haven’t seen this snowfall since 2009 and while it may not be much to many of you, this is big fun for us
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Mae~Good morning sweetheart! I know that it's a big deal for you guys to have snow!! We haven't even had any this year yet, you're beating us!! It looks pretty like a little blanket ! My dogs love the snow, does your Lil guy love the snow? Its abeautiful sight to wake up too. I really do love a good snow storm. I know up farther north they get more. But we get our share! A couple of years ago we got 19 inches in two days. That's when you run out of places to put it. I hope it doesn't melt too soon. I hope you have a great day I think I am going to start my wrapping. I realized that when I cleaned my basement, I got rid of a lot of shit. I know most of my xmas boxes are gone. So I have to start over with boxes. So I'll be chasing down some boxes! Be safe ! Much love ~M~
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Mae-you have more snow on ground there then here in Wi right now but that will probably change tonight..It was 60 earlier this week and 19 today with snow coming.
Chemo yesterday, attempting no Dexamethasone this cycle for the next 2 days, so far so good..scans on 27 results on 28... feeling good..and gained more weight..0 -
Keetmom~Hi there! So glad to see you! I am glad you're doing good! Been wondering about your dad! It's cold here but it's not 19 yet!! Mae got snow before we did here in the northeast! I hope this isn't an active snow season. Who doesn't hate to shovel? I know I do! Or did! Won't be shoveling anymore. How Are the girls,? and your DH? Hope everyone is cold free. Everyone I know is getting a dreaded cold. Ugh! Glad to see you ! Big hugs to the girls And much love ~M~
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Good night!! hope everyone is ok ! Hope everyone had a Good Friday night ! Relaxing! Saturday supposed to be freezing here!! That really sucks bad. Decorations are done! Thank goodness. Hugs and hope all is wel! Much love ~M~
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Here in Europe I have been getting snowy pictures from Ireland. None in my part of Spain but I know last week there was snow in Alicante province, only an hour from here. Don't need my snowboard yet lo
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snowing snowing ! Mae, you got it first then we got it. Supposed to get 2 to 4 inches of snow! We just finished the outside decorating and the next day it snows !!! Good timing. I would love to visit Ireland, I think that is a magnificent place to view. Especially the sights of Game Of Thrones! The scenery is breath taking. I sure hope everyone is doing ok. I haven't seen Claudia, or any of the regulars. I am so glad you're keeping me company Minnie, you're such a wonderful addition. I love it that you are from Spain!! It's 30 degrees here now. Which is farenheight. So it is below freezing. And I need a scarf. Because my neck is an ice cube. That was the one thing I really noticed when I lost my hair. It killled me. It was like my own scarf. Now I get to sit and watch my daughter grow her beautiful long hair like I just lost last year. Now it has come back curly and dark so dark. I am a shell of what I used to be. But I'm alive and loving on my DH! Miss you guys! Hugs to you Minnie!! Much love ~M~
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I came across some ornaments and I had some flashbacks. It makes me so sad that I am living holidays by years. I just want to feel normal again, I want to be able to believe to in the future again. I am always caught between the past and fear. I just wish sometimes we could feel like dogs. We love and we don't worry, someone feeds us, hugs us. We sleep all day, rest when we want and play a little. That's the life I want. If I can't have my own life back. Still in shock that his has happened. Where is the old person I once was? Much love ~M~
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Hi all, we have been unbelievable busy! ? Mae, snow? Wow? Maybe we will get some here! 31 degrees tonight and tomorrow night! We need it, the bugs are about to take over the state! I have a roaring fire in the fireplace! I love a good fire! I'm getting ready to make a Mocha Nut Cake for dessert tonight. We are going to a friend's house for dinner.
I have not done any Christmas shopping yet, nor have we gotten our tree up. I know, I know, I need to get focused. It is hard to focus with Tuesday looming. Gracie, I am with you on scanxiety. How about we hold each other's hand on Tuesday? That MRI, a few months ago, wrecked my claustrophobic battle. I will be doing this Pet scan drugged. First time in 5 years. Darn, I thought I had it firmly in hand. Oh well...
Minnie, I have always wanted to see Ireland and Spain! I would like to see the horses in both countries. I have a Spotted Saddle Horse, who thinks he is a Lippizan! I have been toying with starting him on liberty training. Oh, in case you didn't know yet, I am the horse nut of the group!
Mae, you probably already told us, but where is your cabin? I'm so ready for less square feet! Yes, I think the purging is going to be tough, but once done, should be a big relief!
Keetmom, so glad you are doing well. I bet you are so busy with Christmas! Having kids at home is wonderful! Do you do the elf on the shelf with your kids? My Ds and dil do! It is a great motivator to behave! We have a Dave here also, for when they come here for Christmas! Does anyone else do this with their kids or grandkids?
Leapfrog, how is the patio garden planning coming along? Lynnes, 50' man, and Lynnwood, what going on with you? Tanya, how is it going? Are you spending lots of time with your grandkids? Chelle, yoohoo, what are you up to? No1 and MJH, are you ladies doing ok? Welcome to the pub! It sounds like a round of hot chocolate is needed here! Or, if you are so inclined, a nice cup of coffee with some Bailey's! Oooh, I just thought of something I haven't thought about in years! A little Drambui, that will toast your toes!
If I forgot anyone, I apologize. Hugs and prayers everyone.
Claudia
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Claudia~That fire looks so inviviting. It's a cold cold day here. I just looked at the temp and it is 28 outside. It's been snowing all day long. Not a terrible and light. But very pretty. I'm so glad to see you. I know Tuesday will be tough. Imagine me in your pocket, making silly noises and trying to keep you saine ans supported. Same with you Gracie. I know the results are coming! I Care so much I wish I could take it away for us all. Much love ~M~
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Here is what we have so far ! Dogs love it!! ~M~0 -
I had a little break down at Mass tonight. Nothing terribly dramatic, just tears. The stress is really getting to me. Am pissed at the thought that this front line treatment I wanted 3-5 years on may have only lasted a year! Pissed that my lifestyle is going to take yet another big hit, like it hasn't had enough already! And scared shitless that this whole thing could go faster than I am ready for! And missing Tom terribly! I need need NEED his arms right now, and he isn't here. This just sucks! I want my miracle!
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Oh Gracie, I’m so sorry to hear the sadness in your post, I wish I had words to make you feel better. I have moments of anger too, about how unfair this all is and the things I’ll miss out on. It just sucks and we just do the best we can to play the crappy hand.
Micmel, the snowy pic is beautiful!
Keetmom, I’m shocked to have snowfall before you but glad it didn’t start too early for you guys this year, my best friend lives in WI and I know you have like 5 months of winter.
Bigbhome, our cabin is this in West Texas near the McDonald Observatory at an elevation of nearly 7,000 ft, it has an incredible night sky, truly awe inspiring (pic from observatory below)
News broke at work yesterday that one of my best friends and work husband is leaving for a big job at the City. I’m happy for him but we’ve worked together for about 15 years and not having lunch and walking together will be weird and sad for both of us. Challenging times ahead for sure.
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Gracie~Honey, I am sitting here with tears rolling down my face.i am soo sorry you're feeling so much fear and pressure. I know exactly how that feels, just try to remember that the next line (if needed) could work even better than this one has. Please know, you're a lot stronger then you even realize. I am sorry that you're missing Tom. It literally breaks my heart. 💔 I want nothing more than to take away your pain. You're not alone. Take one breath at a time and remember. There are many lines. We have no choice but to carry on together! Gentle hugs for my sweet friend, you're on my mind. Much love ~M~
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Mae~That is amazing, what a beautiful sight. I just want to pick my star and arrive with my DH and family and start our own little world without all the challenges and change. I hope you're enjoying your weekend. I am sorry that you received that news about your friends. That sure does screw shit up that your used to day in and day out...I hope you'll be having a very nice dinner with some friends tomorrow night! What's on the menu.?We ordered out Chinese. We didn't feel like cooking. Much love ~M~
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what wonderful pictures. Bigbhome I love that fireplace. It's the one thing I miss in Spain, when we have cold weather. In Ireland we always had a lovely fire in winter. It makes me feel,cozy just looking at that picture. Sending you love and strength Gracie, you can do it girl. We have no snow but weather showing very strong wind tonight, so need to tie everything down. Glad my hospital appointment is changed to Tuesday this week. Bloods, heart check and if all ok, another session of chemo. Life goes on, this week I feel good, so want to enjoy Christmas, and stay away from the bad thoughts that envelope me occasionally. Happy Sunday everyone
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good morning, nighst go so fast when you sleep! My only place to escape the knowledge that I have cancer. Sucks. I woke up at 4:00 tossing and Turning . I was having an asthma attack and it would not stop. Three inhaleruses later I was afraid and the entire house would be awake . I bet they are good and sick of me by now! It's still cold and snowy. I have to force myself into the shower right now. Much love and happy Sunday. Thinking of you guys ~M~
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Hi everyone, I haven't been on for a few days so I'm hopelessly behind with all your news. A friend offered to help me turn the small balcony on my apartment into a garden because I have to have flowers around me and to grow things but, because I'm on Ibrance I'm not allowed to have anything to do with soil....breathe it or touch it...because my white cell count is so low. Nikki loves doing things like that and she's the sort who throws herself right into a project. We had so much fun during the week. She called in and we brainstormed ideas for the area which is only 3 metres by 2.5 metres (pretend metres are yards if you're American and you're close enough), then the next day she went to the plant nursery and we both got on Messenger and she sent me pictures of plants we'd said we thought would look good. She would group some together and take a pic and I'd say I like the yellow and purple (or whatever) and we bought, oh, about 50 plants that way! Then we chose some lovely green leafy shrubs with an upright growing habit in graduated sizes. We had to be careful as the air con unit blasts hot air across the balcony when it's turned on. We put a tiered plant stand in two corners and hung five window box type planters full of flowering plants from the balcony rail and we covered the tiled floor with fake green grass. It looks fabulous!! I'm thrilled. I can sit out there and have breakfast surrounded by flowers and greenery. It takes me half an hour to water them all as I can only carry a small watering can due to my bone mets but that's fun anyway!
We did it in two stages. She came on Tuesday and we made a start then we finished it on Thursday. I'm so indebted to her. It's changed the whole atmosphere of the apartment because you see the plants as soon as you walk in. It's taken my mind off cancer and all my other worries, which is just what I wanted. Nikki has been begging me to let her do something for me until now but there was honestly nothing I needed her to do and she was genuinely thrilled when I asked for her help with this project. This is how wonderful friends can be.
Hugs to you all. I'll catch up with your news in the next few days.
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Leapfrog~Hi honey! Your garden days sound like so much fun!! I can see your smile through your words. I am so pleased you have been given such a great friend. Yes friends can be something else, it seems that life's greatest blessings are the blessings that are free. I truly believe that. I am so excited to see pictures of your finished product, If you're able to take some. I just love flowers. They instantly make you smile, just like you mentioned how you feel when you walk into your apartment. Think about it. That's your apartment.!! Yours! You're doing what makes you happy. I am so proud of your Strength and determination! I am in awe of you! You go girl! Big hugs and much love ~M~
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Gracie- I have to say I feel better on IV chemo then on any of the oral stuff they gave me. Does it suck to have flunked out of stuff yup...but I feel much better then I have in a long time...
Claudia- We dont do Elf on Shelf...my kids are older and know the truth so it would be a lot of work for nothing....Watching Packer game today, girls and I made chocolate dipped liquorish yesterday (SO VERY YUMMY) and just did dipped pretzles, may do cookies, bought already cut out just need to bake ones...and decorate because the kids just prefer doing that
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Mel, Mae and Keetmom, thanks so much to you for your prayers and thoughts. Am so nervous over all this I am quite literally shaking. And it won’t stop! I need to get some peace of mind but don’t know how. I’m sure the Adrenalin is wreaking havoc with my cancer!!!
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Valium!!! Get some quickly ! And relax, the scan is done, we wait and find out and then we attack it with a new plan If need be. We love you Gracie. You're one of my women!! I just want us all to never hear the word cancer again! Much love always ~M~
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