My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Illimae— sorry they weren't able to give you official results, just hints that there is something. Sigh. I don't have the words. Sending you lots of hugs and will have my fingers and toes crossed for you. (You should see me walking with toes crossed).
Pulling for the best outcome. In your pocket as you await answers.
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Mae, I feel the same as everyone else. I find the hinting that there is something but not being able to tell you is even worse than going in blind. Leaves you to stew until you know what it is. Lots of hugs from me too and of course have firmly settled in your pocket for the answers to come.
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Mae,
I know you’ve said you are not religious, but I hope it’s ok for me to pray on your behalf. So I did. Also sending you positive vibes. Stay strong.
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Best wishes Mae for Monday - I don't know if giving a person time to process a what if is right or wrong, but perhaps doing it on a Friday isn't the best idea. I hope you can find some peace this weekend in some manner - is the discussion first thing Monday or later in the day?
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Hello all.
Mae- Wishing calm for you this weekend. I hate this for you.
Mara- You are an inspiration!!!! I don't know how you walk in this heat. I just cannot do it. I laughed at the pic of you in bra and undies in front of the fan !!!! Hahahahaha. I purchased a bookcase and a wooden filing cabinet---the you put together kind. It took me 3 days to get the cabinet put together. And 2 days to complete the bookcase. They are done now. Now I need to organize my books and papers and get things where I want them. Baby steps. When the tiredness hits, I stop.
Dodgers- Yeah the small stuff is cause for celebration. We can get TP and paper towels, but still limits in place. Wipes are never seen---Dollar store or WalMart neither one.
I went to Dollar store early this morning---to beat the crowds and too beat the heat. Going to work on the organizing today and also resting.
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Candy, you inspire me. I keep trying to figure out a better system to organize things myself in a small space. I would like to turn the linen closet in my bathroom into a better laid out space so I can keep all the stuff I keep buying. My two bath towels just hang on hooks on my door. I am going to measure at some point next to my bed to see what I can put in. I may hire out someone to come in and build a unit with doors and everything and turn it into a cabinet or something. I have storage behind my sofa made up of white bookcases but it holds stuff I am not using. Have to get if figured out in my brain how to best make it work.
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Mara - I LOVE redoing small spaces - just today I was looking at our dining area and thinking of how I want to rework it (assuming I can get the landlord to move that hideous and pointless table out if we stay past August) and how if we owned this place I would get someone in to build a little pantry and this and that
. Or how to repurpose stuff I already have into storage bits or whatever. Check out Apartment Therapy, sometimes they have great ideas for small spaces and on the cheap.0 -
Thanks for the suggestion Sondra, I will. I do plan to hire someone to make a storage cabinet for the bedroom next to the bed. That can hold overflow supplies etc. I also may look into cabinets put above the door, also with a door to look more organized. Since I don't' plan to move, I will pay off the new spinner I got and look into it. I do not wish to build a cabinet myself when it comes to it but a home made cabinet would do nicely. Eventually I would put the same king of thing in the living room and stack existing shelving on top I think. I may also see what they can do about installing shelving in my two tiny closets as well.
I have been taking it easy on the exercise. I find a day of a lot of exercise is fine but I like a rest day afterword just to chill out. Got nowhere I need to go that would not involve money spending so am going to skip that. I will need to get to walmart and see what they have as I have a gift card burning a hole in my pocket. I will save my burger pilgrimage to pick up at a fast food place for tomorrow when it is cooler. For now I am filling out surveys for cash, made 10 dollars so far and that is in USD which is nice for my canadian debit visa. Using those to help pay for the spinner. I cannot work so this is a nice bit of cash to get
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thinking of you Mae! Good night ladies. Hope everyone is enjoying a good weekend. Hot here. But oh well. Sweet dreams. ? Maybe I’m hoping.
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Good night Mel, sleep well my friend.
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Mara~You are so sweet. I hope this finds you nestled in your bed!!! I am Up again! I'm Just laying here Looking at cool nail designs I might try. I need the air brushing for what I want done, but I can have fun with color. thank you for Always being here Mara. It means a lot.
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Good morning ladies.
Mae waiting on a clarification of a scan with a hint is torturous. We’re all in your pocket.
Nothing going on for this weekend. Backyard duty and resting.
Tany
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Tanya, good for you keeping up the backyard, resting sounds really good.
Mel, sorry sleep eluded you again. That is a royal PIA for sure.
I have been fairly active today. Walked 40 mins by treadmill and then DB asked if I needed groceries. He voiced concern that it was hot, but I told him I could walk no problem so we got lunch out and then we went to a nice park near the river. Lots of sunny and shady spots. I probably wore too much headgear as I had two wigs on and a hat, really did not overheat though. I also wore leggings as I really don't like shorts. My SIL said she will bring me some anyway. They also gave me a really nice picture that has some burnt orange in it that goes along with parts of my living room. They thought it should go behind the sofa but I think I want it in front of me so I can see it. The back wall is bare. I will figure it out, may put it in my kitchen instead. We will see.
Mae, I am still in your pocket and thinking only the best thoughts for you.
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Hey Mara that sounds like a fantastic day out.
cooking dinner and staying home. Our COVID numbers are climbing everyday. Some people have misunderstood our politicians and aren’t social distancing and such. It’s really a disaster in FL and we’re still not getting clear guidelines so...Tanya
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I am sorry it is such a mess for you there Tanya. Hard to socially distance on beaches too and I would imagine that people cannot really wear masks in your weather and heat either. It also doesn't help if government is not clear on the guidelines as well. I can at least say my provincial and federal governments are both clear on what we should be doing.
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Mara That’s definitely a blessing to have clarity.
Really they could have stores open at a time for people without masks and people with. Everything’s air conditioned but some people have anxiety claustrophobia and such with face coverings so they could go with others. Mostly the cashiers all wear masks and have like a plastic partition.
On the beach it would be ridiculous to wear a mask. Social distancing is about the best you can do. Some places have closed beach for holiday.
Tany
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Hello Ladies~weekend is over. Another one down. DH ordered me a new sewing machine and I am going to learn to sew. We went to Joann fabrics, they had two machines left in stock. $799 and $599. We just wanted a nice heavy duty basic model. We then went to Walmart and they didn't have even one. So he bought me a beautiful one which I love and am thrilled about on amazon. July 5 or 6. But better that not having one. His old one is just too old now. I'm Looking forward to getting it. He's so sweet. I mention wanting to learn and he buys a new one. He's a caring man. I'm lucky. I had a nice day with him. It's a singer. May take me some time but I'm going to learn!! I'm excited.....
Storms came through with some rain. Humid like. Gross. Monday's rolling around again. Another week of finding shit to do. Can't wait to have my machine. Hope all is well with everyone. Sleep well. Ha ha I say to myself.
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Mel, so glad you got something that you can learn to do. What a very sweet DH. I only recently learned how to darn socks and really enjoy my wee sewing kit so a machine would be extra special, enjoy it.
After my warm walk this afternoon, snoozed off and on this evening. I still enjoyed the walk and supper. Had a small burger from a restaurant and made beans with queso, bran bark and spinach. Put taco seasoning on it as well. Delicious. Breakfast has changed, used to have just cereal and milk but that wore off so quickly I decided to change it up as well. I have beans, cheese, put the cereal overtop with some bran and bit of tortilla chips. Queso and taco seasoning too. Delicious and keeps me full and energetic for a while. I think the meals I enjoy and make me feel good are high calorie but I won't trade the physical strength for anything. I just have to remember to drink my milk separate as I like its vit D fortification.
Have a good night all.
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Mara~ once a year my dh and I try to make mastectomy pillows for the infusion centers at the hospital. Then we donate them. It makes us feel like we’re giving back. I enjoy picking the fabrics. So many gorgeous patterns to choose. I’m really looking forward to it. I’m going to Learn masks also. That’s what I really want to learn also .....you’re making me hungry again. Lol. Gn friend.
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Tanya ~I can't believe that they have to close the beaches. That's unreal. If people would have just listened and governors didn't open to soon. I'm hoping my state stays closed somewhat. I'm nervous it's too much too soon. There are stores open now. But honestly I just think we're screwed. Even people who have had it have malingering symptoms and it isn't fully going away. That's crazy?!!!!!! Means maybe we can get it again ???? Whaaattt???? No please. We've lost spring. Now we're losing summer. I'm Coming swimming at your house! Lololol
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Mel - sewing will definitely take up your time - I tried about ten years ago and ended up being far better at identifying and collecting older sewing machines than actually learning to sew. Somehow it just didn't click for me, though I have a box somewhere in a storage unit in the US full of some really lovely fabrics that came from a wholesalers that was open to the public. Ah well, masks at least look easy enough as a starter project!
I made a small batch of brownies last night in a loaf pan and they turned out ok - actually made quite a few bite sized pieces! They also gave me acid reflux which was interesting, never had that happen before. I really only made them to tempt OH to eat the leftover lentil bolognese for dinner - I think he was skeptical of it, but it tastes just like normal spaghetti sauce, just with a lot of vegetables (and lentils!) in it. Going to look for a 6 inch cake pan on Amazon today as its his birthday in a few weeks and I'd like to make a small cake for him. And they are so cute!
Weather here went from surface of the sun hot to cool, humid and raining at unpredictable times. One of the cats got caught out in a downpour last night and stood around in the house wet for an hour or so, even after we dried him off. He didn't seem too keen to be heading out this morning!
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Mel,
What a wonderful thing to do. I got a really nice blanket from my cancer center when I first started treatment, and I remember how good it felt. You are doing a great service to those who are newly diagnosed who have to go through what you did. What a way to give back! You go girl.
Tanya, I’m right there with ya. Crazy government can’t figure out which way to go...open or closed. I just stay home because there’s no way I can get this virus. I’m a goner if that happens! Besides, it’s so darn hot here...no way I’m laying on the beach in this heat!
Mae, in your pocket. Hope things go well this week.
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Mara I’m gonna have to try this magic food queso. I’ve never had it before and I love cheese.
Mel I kept my original donated pillow for 12 years or more. I lost it on an airplane sadly. It had a cute pillow case. It was a source of comfort knowing that someone had gone through a similar experience came out in the other side ready to help others. So touching. I applaud you and your DH.
SondraF my sister was the seamstress in our house. I learned to use the machine and didn’t do a good job. It really looks terrible if everything’s not perfect. My kids all learned to sew. I paid for them to have lessons. My son had the most talent. None of them using it now.
Booboo I’m not going to the beach but I understand families need to get out. We quarantined since March and they’ve been home from school since then. What torture. I see kids riding bikes and outside more. Kids are supposed to go back to school in August. I agree Booboo if we get it we need a miracle to go with it. My moms is 87 she said the scariest thing about COVID would be the hospital and dying alone without family.
Have a good day ladies
Tanya
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Mel, making masks definitely is a wonderful thing to do for people, it would give you a sense of purpose in a world that does not always have the opportunity to give that way. Kudos to you
Tanya, it is very delicious, you can either buy it at the grocery store (Tostitos) or else just melt velveeta cheese and add a can of salsa to it. Same taste for both, first one is just easier. The tostitos queso is also not super high in calories or such so not such a bad addition calorie wise. It is yummy.
I took a quiet day as I often do post walking the day before. The only thing I can think of to add to my repertoire on these days is lifting weights and doing squats with weights in my knapsack, get some more leg strength. I often have different thoughts that travel my brain about how to make life easier and I had this idea to get silicone dishes and plates with the idea of washing them with a touch of dishsoap in my washer. It is a top loader and did not get a crazy amount of bubbles, just felt like it got cleaner and a dishwasher is not practical. I had very greasy popcorn for afternoon snack and wiped out the kernels, threw it in the washer with hot water and a couple of squirts of dishsoap. I may eat supper from that bowl and do the same thing. Would beat soaking them in the sink for what feels like too long.
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I made the mistake of taking a minute to lie down at 4pm since work was slow and I didn't sleep well last night ( I did a weights circuit in the early evening so things were a bit cranky). Bad idea - I woke up over two hours later! But man was that a great nap. Only now I am still awake, it is 11pm and gee, guess I may as well put on a favorite movie. This is a MUCH slower week than last week at least, so if I get up a bit late tomorrow, its not a big deal. Starting to feel like time is ceasing to have meaning....
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Thanks for the pocket duty, unfortunately it’s looks like the radiologist is equally concerned. I had a MRI of the spine today and meet with my neuro rads onc on Wednesday to discuss “options” ☹️
But I did get a laugh today from BCO’s Instagram post. Look! I’m a superstar! Lol
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sondra ~ I was also sleeping. The word of the day is tired. Tired of being tired. Tired of nothing to do. Tied of no energy. Tired of endless things that never seem to get done. Tired of endless worry. Tired of worrying about making all ends meet. Tired of being stuck inside. Tired of no energy zapped of it daily. Elusive to me. Tired of worrying about my Dh and If I'm
Doing my best to be a good wife. Tired of feeling like some days I might just scream and never stop. Tired of missing who I used to be. Tired of the weakness I feel everyday. Tired of people forgetting I have cancer. No less stage four. Tired of the hand I've been dealt. Tired for Us all. Hugs to all
Mae~ on my mind
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insomnia strikes again. Broke out the nail polishes Again, this time I tried a trendy fade. Im going to try a purple one next. Looks cool !
I hope sleep finds you ladies.
Moth hello haven’t seen you here. Hope you’re doing good. Moomala? You ok. ? Pots? MJH 🌻🌻🌻0 -
Hey, I just wanted to let y’all know that I'm in one of those phases where I sort of want to enjoy this NEAD period and not think about cancer too much, and yet do not want to abandon my peeps here on BCO. Maybe I will be posting less for awhile, but I am not forgetting about you guys.
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Hi Mae, just saying hello and I hate seeing you in this phase in determining what these scans are showing.. Emotional torture.
Geez..it took you months to finally enjoy small bits of your favorite foods.
We will all be here for you. An answer will be found and correct treatment will start. Waiting for this is where we come in and support you.
We want to see you back to your traveling and outfit matching self. .well, after COVID19.
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