My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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The other dog left behind from his buddy Tag. He’s sad for sure. Not happy. I feel so sad for him too. That’s Tags bed and blanket. He hasn’t left it since. Love runs through animals also. They are so special. Sigh! And Ugh! 😢0 -
I know exactly the feeling. You almost feel worse for them. My little one would run in the house and all around each room looking for her buddy. That lasted about two weeks now, and she’s doing better. I hope your guy will be okay and be happy again. Hugs. Our heart breaks for them.
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Mel - we left everything behind in the US in a storage locker so most places we have rented had beds already. Including this one, but while initial 4 months on a double was fine, doing that for a year was not!
Im so sorry to see how the passing of Tag is rolling through your household at the moment. Its so hard to not be able to tell the pet left behind that their buddy is no longer in pain - almost like you have to apologize. And its heartbreaking to see them sad too. Brb - getting a tissue...
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Hi, Mel! Thanks for the shout-out.
Just reading, not too much to say right now. Might have progression, but will talk with my interventional radiologist and consulting MO next week, both via Telehealth appointments. Then we shall see... This just isn't any fun at all.
And Mel, that picture of your other dog on Tag's bed -- so sad. When we had to put our Great Pyr down, our other dog looked for her for weeks. Finally she settled down, and yours will too. But it is upsetting for sure.
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Oh no BevJen, I am so sorry to hear this. Wrapping my virtual arms around you. I will be in your pocket for those appointments until you know for certain. That certainly is scary.
Mel, yes our pets know when someone is gone but speaking from experience and mine is similar with cats, after a couple of weeks they settle. Your Deeoghee may always want to sit on Tag's bed but he will adjust. I am still thinking of you all. It is hard watching animals as someone said because you can't explain their buddy is better off and not in pain. They just know they are gone.
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Just FYI, if anyone is in the mood for an interesting and fun family friendly show, I recommend Tiny Creatures on Netflix. It’s a day in the life of the animals we don’t see too often like a kangaroo mouse, burrow owl, flying squirrel, etc.
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Hello ladies
Mae I’ll try the animal show. That’s about my speed.
Tanya
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I’ll try to check it out. I need something to lift me out of this foggy sad feeling I have. We owned that dog for so many years it just doesn’t go away in four days. I know this feeling sucks.
Bev Jen~ am thinking of you as well. Hoping it’s not progression as well. Everyday runs into the next.
Even with Dh working from home. It still runs together. Now I’m just bored in another room while he works his ass off. Poor guy never gets a break. Caretaking is really hard work. I don’t envy him at all. I wish I could do half of the things I was able to do before the cancer took up its little residence in the worst possible Skelton spot. S3. Just can’t stand sit and walk to long. I get some nasty pain from stiffness and prior damage. That’s why I don’t travel anywhere. Although I wish I could. Dh deserves it.
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midnight and I am wide awake. Sondra move over I need that new bed I believe. Ever since Tag does I can't sleep. It's driving me cra8zy! I thought I'd pick up my phone. And it would say like 430 am. Beep!!!! Wrong answer. I also have the worst bladder as well. What's this ? Oh you're laying down. Time to pretend I have to go and then when you sit there you can envision Swanee river which isn't happening anytime soon. Sahara desert 🐪 bone dry. So. Back we trudge. To the pillow trenches. Ugh! My bags under my eyes will have bags. Hope you're all nestled tightly.
Hello Mae, Hello Rosie,Hello Simone,Hello Dodgers,Hello Chicagoan, Hello Sonda , hello Keepsake, Hello Runor, hello Sunshine,hello BooBoo, Hello Tanya, Hello Bliss, Hello Mara, Hello Candy, hello BevJen, I write hello! Hello Santa, Hello Lynnwood,Hello Philly just give us a small holler. We're worried. Hello jensgotthis, Hello Marie,Hello Grannax, Hello Lynne 50's , Hello Melissa, misty eyes, minus two, stillivin, pots, hope, KBL, JKL, SoCallisa. Moth Aronson, Shetland.....Sleep well! For me !
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Hi, Mel. I’m not sleeping either. There’s so much troubling stuff going on in the world that I’m surprised any of us can sleep. If my DH weren’t snoring away I would probably be cleaning my house or doing laundry (LOL)! Think I’ll try a really boring book ... hope you find dreamland soon.
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add me to the list of those who can’t sleep tonight
Wish I could just roll over and fall asleep
Who remembers “counting flowers on the wall, that don’t bother me at all. Playing solitaire til dawn with a deck of fifty-one”?? That song is stuck in my head to
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I'm still awake because it's only 10 pm & also I had IV steroids today. I've been chatting with my dd all evening.
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Well I'm awake now as its 830 am here and Ive just baked up some pain au chocolat for the morning. Cats and OH are still asleep. I may start work by 9, see how I feel. Today is completely clear which i wonderful because I am socked in the next two weeks with having to interview people. I really need to take some vacation, so time to put a hand up and say 'yeah, no more and rebook this crap'! Me first!
Letrozole indigestion is kicking my ass this month so I was going to run over to the pharmacy in a little bit and get some omeprazole. Its next to TK Maxx so absolutely going to pop in and see what's new in the candle dept/soap dept/housewares. I think the truck of new stuff shows up on Thursday evenings, so the pickings are good by Friday noon. And I think its spinach/artichoke/black bean enchiladas for dinner tonight.
Dodgers - good to see you! I do remember that song and that line specifically. How have you been doing?
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Mel -
Don’t expect the pain from the loss of Tag to resolve in 4 days! It’s been 4 years since we lost my heart dog, Dolce. Even with 3 other goldens in our home, there are times my heart aches for her. The grief will ebb and flow....
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ugh! Another long night. Can I just tell you ladies fedex stinks badly. They can’t deliver anything right. It’s so annoying I don’t know why companies use them. They are awful. They loose things. Take forever. I mean I understand the Covid and all, but every shipment has a problem? Like really ?
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Hi, Mel. Thank you for the hello. I have been exhausted and not taking naps even though I’m really tired. It seems to help me with being able to sleep at night. I usually still wake for a few bathroom runs but have been able to get back to sleep. Some nights I can tell I’m going to have trouble, and I will take Zquill. I hope you get some sleep tonight.
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could be my problem as well. I could sleep four hours a nap. I definitely feel fatigue and usually around 330 500. Worst time for me. Ass draggin. I hate feeling this way every day. Wether it’s an ibrance week on or off. So I know it’s other medicine as well. Yuck. Feel like I’m slushing through muddy thick mess just to walk upstairs. It’s a crappie feeling. I miss the old me also. I know someone said that Earlier this week. I’m with ya!
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SondraF— my bone mets are “stable” but the pain lingers. Hard to tell where mets pain stops and arthritis pain starts! Been a busy 3 weeks. Going from one life event to the next without being able to catch my breath. Had new a/c and furnace installed last week with final work to install new duct work and humidifier yesterday. That was a large check, for sure.
Your pain au chocolat sounds good !!!
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Hello all.
I know what you mean DodgersGirl about "hard to tell where mets pain stops and arthritis pain starts". YES. I have rheumatoid arthritis and the bone mets-which scans say is stable. The knee pain is probably the arthritis or the Letrozole use. But I am having butt pain-- the bone you sit on (pelvic bone?), especially on the left side. I don't think that is RA--haha. And my scans say pelvic mets on the left, so, duh, sounds like met pain. Also my whole length of spine hurts. I have documented mets in cervical, thoracic, and lumbar, but also could be arthritis, I guess. I hurt a lot at night. During the day I can change positions or do something to distract, but at night I am tired and stuck in bed. So I sleep bad. Toss and turn.
I only nap for an hour during the day because I know longer sleep during the day will make that night even worse.
Another day of boring--- make out bills, laundry, surf computer. Good thing, is it is cooler--60's-- so I have windows open for fresh air.
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yikes I eneded up staying up till 2 and woke up just past 7 so I this will be a weird day. I had so much fun with my dd last night though so it was worth it.
candy - the pelvis has three main sites: sacrum (the lower back bit), ilium (the big flat hip parts), ischium (the bottom of your butt part). Your rads reports possibly identify the pelvic mets more precisely using those terms so you'd know where they are exactly. The sitting bit is the ischial crest. It's an area where hamstrings attach and you can get injuries in the tendons there and/or bursitis or referred pain from tight hamstrings.My thought at this point is that we're underutilizing physio and massage in cancer pts. Esp now with covid but even before, some providers were unsure about it and worried about what we could do. But I believe at least a small part of the pain and discomfort can be addressed through body work. I had horrible hip pain this time last year (& had the xray to rule out mets because my GP is super proactive on that) but it was an injury which I realized was from a fall on wet grass when I was out with my old setter. Physio was AMAZING at figuring out the problem and fixing it gently. It was mostly stretches & exercises I was prescribed to do at home (on an app which laid out the prescription, had video of the exercise to remind me if I needed it & timed all the stretches because my physio wanted very gentle but long holds. Reminded me of restorative yoga actually....) Anyway, hope you find relief soon!
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Hi all, I had a hard time going back to sleep last night. Yesterday I was informed that I could finally pick up my retirement gift (minimal staff due to Covid). Anyway, I woke and started thinking about how key managers screwed me over in the last months of my employment, so I lay in bed feeling bitter, honestly, I’m still pissed. But, I wore one of my micmel masks and got my picnic backpack.
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Moth, I could not agree with you more about underutilizing the physio and massage. Especially with the bone mets people. Not withstanding being on all these drugs for so long. They wreak havoc on our joints and other parts of our bodies. Getting rid of some of the discomfort would allow us to move our bodies more and do other things that would help all of us.
Mel, I am sorry that it was such a shitty night and missing your dog certainly is not helping. Just want to hug you.
I went shopping this morning, got pizza to have for lunch and top with green olives feta as well. Had to let it thaw as do not have a full size baking pan. Cut it into pieces before freezing. My god I have to watch how heavy I pack the bag I carry home, it was really hard to haul, I did it but made me so tired.
Also got my mask, just a funny little one. It is a fungalitis shield.
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Mae, that mask is beautiful, Mel certainly knew what to pick for you. I like the picnic backpack too. Sorry that the retirement gift brought up the key managers screwing you over. That is rough and hard to get over.
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moth- I looked up my CT report from diagnosis. It says "left superior pubic ramus". Then I looked at a pic of that area on the computer. It seems to be the spot I am talking about that hurts. When you are lying down, lift and bend left leg up, touch lower butt cheek. That bone. I am pretty skinny so I can feel that bone thru my butt fat. Also, when you are sitting, it is that bony area that you are sitting on under that butt cheek. Wouldn't think I would have RA pain there. Or that the AI use is causing pain there. Must be the cancer.
To me the pain is just pain. Not the knees is AI use, the butt is cancer, the spine is arthritis, etc. All just one big pain. Gotta love it.
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Mae- I am sorry you are upset with how your job ended. Hug from here. And your mask is color coordinated with your shirt. LOL.
Hi mara. Enjoy your pizza--- I love pizza.
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The pizza was delicious and very filling. The green olives and feta turned a frozen pizza into a better tasting option as well. Put the other pieces in the freezer, will be nice to have other options.
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Hi everyone! Mara that pizza sounds good. Now I'm hungry again.
Bevjen, I hope the radiologist can do something for you so you can stay on I\F. Good luck with whatever they come up with.
For those of you with bone pain, I had mets also to my hip and tailbone. Those were resolved last year with I\L but I still have pain once in awhile. I'm wondering if I now have arthritis in my hip. When you have arthritis does it hurt all the time? Are any of you on arthritis meds? If so, does that help?
Mel, sending you hugs!
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Simone80, I don't have pain where my bone mets are, but an overall whole-body achiness that I consider an exacerbation of my arthritis from the MBC meds. I only take OTC meds for my arthritis that help some, but I find lidocaine patches and CBD rub help my achy joint pain better for hip and knees.
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Good Morning Ladies. It's a fall crisp morning here today. Thinking I'll break out my flannel fabric finally. Itscozy and comphy. I know I've offered them before but I will still send masks to anyone interested. I have over 100 on hand at any time. People have been asking for them in my neighborhood and the nurses flip over them. I'm not going to see any nurses anytime soon. Which kinda makes me happy. But I was thinking I could take some to the humane society and pound. In honor of my boy Tag. Who it's almost been a week since we've lost him. 💔 we trudge on with everything don't we??
And don't feel shy about the masks. Seriously I don't mind. One bit. You guys are my second family.
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Mae~ that mask so fits your style that day. You match so well. I’m so thrilled to know you’re using them. I hope they are comfortable for you. I chose ultra soft elastic, I had two batches. One wasnt as soft as the second. I also love picnics So that’s awesome also. I’m sorry it wasn’t a nice bonus check. You would have deserved it. All those worked hours with those awful storm/hurricane. I guess companies will be what they will be.
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