My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
Comments
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II'll start: Time Flys
Gives us : Cats got his tongue
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Mae- you look good in the new mask! Micmel is so good to us! Work endings can be awful. It took me a long time to get past the bitterness and it makes working again so unattractive. Some times I think about a part time job for fun, but I can’t picture anything fun about how people treat others. The picnic bags looks promising!
Good scan and lab results this week so I’m planning to play in the garden and pick apples this weekend. The weather is too nice to stay indoors.
Sending you a hug Micmel. And hugs to those facing tests and treatment changes.
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Micmel, I see “kick the bucket” and “eggs in one basket”.
Good morning everyone.
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Nailed it on the head
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wearing his heart on his sleeve
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Cat got your tongue
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Born with a silver spoon in his mouth
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kicked the. Bucket
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Hey everybody, hoping the weekend finds you well. It is definitely cold in my apartment. I do have heaters but I think I will just cushion my feet in one of my many blankets. I turned off my AC as the temp was only in low 30 F I think. Not done too much, went to get burgers and have been listening to music for money. Steamed and dried blankets to remove dust and cat hair. Took only an hour. Love the new steamer. Made some washing soda and not too much else.
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everything on a silver platter!
Hello Mara~ chilly here too. Sweatshirts for all!
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Red Herring
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Iwrite- Woohoo on the good scans and lab work!!!!!
It is fall weather here---sunny, blue sky, low humidity, 70 during day and 40's at night. Could have this year round. So glad summer temps are hopefully behind us. On to fall and winter!!!!
My Zoom D&D gaming here in a bit. Church service online in the morning. News says vaccine probably not available until 3rd quarter 2021. Wish I could go back to church sometime.
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I write~great news! So glad for good scans and bloodwork! Yay!!
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ear worm, cold feet
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bird brain and a string on the finger tomremember
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lwrite, glad to hear the great news.
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he has an ace up his sleeve
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Pie in the sky
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afraid of your own shadow
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Its been a week today since my baby boy Tag has left us. It was a long week without his bright chestnut coat and lovin. I’m still struggling. Like I just want him back. I miss him so very much. I wish I could have him back. I adore him. I still don’t think it’s sunk all the way into my brain. I keep expecting to see him. Like a little flash. Or a noise. I get his ashes back hopefully this week. I have the place picked out for him. Then he will be home again with his family Just not in body. Loving and Then loosing a pet sucks real bad. You’d keep them forever.
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Hi, Mel. I hope you get him back soon. How is your other pup doing? Maybe he’ll know it’s him when you get him back. I’m still sending hugs and am so sorry you’re struggling.
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Hi Mel and everyone. I too hope you get Tag's remains soon as well.
It is a nice day here. I walked two hours in all. One hour of 5 mins segments in between housework and computer work and then decided to get even more burgers after my burger lunch. It is an hourlong walk but decided to do it by having a snack of onion rings and pepsi before the walk home. I still get quite tired out but made myself go.
Not doing anything else really, probably just sit around or fall asleep. Not going out with DB today. Probably will be tomorrow or after supper tonight I suppose. Either way is fine.
Have a good day all.
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Hello ladies
Mel a hole in the head and bird brain
Mae the Pinckney basket back pack is nice. I do recall you on bridges after hurricanes for this job. You deserve a better gift and treatment. Ugh
Nothing new here today. Overcast and 80’s. Helped my grandson with 9th grade English history and science. My brain feels like mush. Now I have to try to forget all of that stuff. Lol shouldn’t be hard.
Mara I like the olive feta pizza add. I put all kinds of stuff on my pizza. Having turkey stroganoff tonight and I added spinach-to mine only my husband would die.
My friend teaches elementary and caught a cold. She was tested for Covid bc she’s in her 70’s. I think since this test was negative she should think about retiring.
Nice to see cooler morning temps.
Tanya
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Evening all-- 6pm here.
So today I got a call from a friend. I touch base with him every couple of weeks or so. We usually just converse about light stuff, no heavy conversations. Today, he asked about my next MO appt (next Monday the 28th). I got more in depth about things. Explained change in doc and why (having to travel to appt now), change in med dosing (Ibrance now on 5 days/ off 2 days trial with me), next CT due, that I will be on some form of treatment for life and my need of a good rapport with my MO. I dumbed down the explanations--- didn't talk about CDK's, types of scans, etc. Put it in terms someone without cancer would understand. He was quiet. "Uh huh" was all he said. "uh huh". "ok". Then after a bit he said "well I have to go now".
I could not see his expressions since we were on the phone. I don't know what he was thinking---- maybe he thought I was being too pushy suggesting treatments with my new doc, questioning treatment plan with my old doc. But, I do think I made him uncomfortable talking so freely about my cancer and my future. When we hung up I thought "Suck it up, buttercup. I have to live with this everyday. The least you can do is hear about it."
I am tired of dealing with all this alone. I do not have family that will help me-- I have 2 sisters and a brother, but they do not go with me to appts or talk about the cancer with me. And my "friends" shy away from the cancer. I am tired of being "strong" and being alone. Makes me want to line them all up and slap them all.
Going to chill and watch a TV movie tonight.
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Candy~ sending you big hugs. Having cancer is just plain lonely. No one understands! Even after all this time I still don’t believe that I even have it. No less stage four. I took a wrong turn somewhere
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Candy, I think some people are afraid of the idea of cancer, or serious illness. It doesn’t make it right, but I think some just can’t get past the fear to have conversations with people who are ill. I’m sorry you’re alone in this when your family and friends should be supporting you. Hugs from me too.
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Candy, this may be a completely unrelated scenario but more than a few times, I have listed to a friend with the intention to a good chat but abruptly said “I gotta go or call you later” because I had to use the bathroom or my ear was getting hot. I tend to be blunt but don’t always realize how I come across until someone says, geez, that was rude. Either way, I’m sorry it happened to you.
Nothing new here, just hanging out and trying to pack up the house a few hours a day.
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Candy, I am selective about my audience, even if other people open a conversation. With DB, I stick to the basics of how my scans and tests are going. My SIL is the one that I might discuss SE with if I am having them. Overall, I don't have too much to say about my cancer. I do have some people ask, most people don't. I don't overall feel the need to bring it up unless it fits in organically with the conversation. If I have anything I fear, I usually talk about it here. My phone friend also lets me talk about whatever I want but again, for me cancer does not really come up. As much as it is not fair, not everyone is willing or able to hear about the nitty gritty and it sucks for us. We must find our own outlets that do listen when we need them to.
I will say that I don't blame you for explaining some things to the friend since he did open up the conversation. I am sorry he could not follow through. It is not cool to start a conversation then stop a person from finishing it or being abrupt. I am sorry that happened to you.
I just post when I have scans that I am still NED in the body and brain and when the next scans will be on my facebook page. That allows anyone in real life to know how I am doing without having to deal with people who can't handle things. Most people have stopped saying I am brave because people who know me know I am realistic and will worry when something comes up like progression.
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Yeah, my own mother has a habit of mid conversation announcing she has a full bladder and needs to hang up. Not like, Skype back in 2 minutes but boom, done. And thats about anything, not even the cancer stuff. It used to annoy me greatly but I know she doesn't mean anything about it and usually it always comes at the hour and a half mark. I only call home about once every 6 - 8 weeks. I used to feel jealous that my siblings get more attention but I got over that - if I wanted to call more frequently I can, but it is hard to put my life into a context they understand.
Even with living with someone this is a lonely disease,as I've told him more than once. No one gets it, and no one wants to hear about it at this age. I don't want to be seen as some walking anomaly, that poor person way out on the far end of the bell curve and gee, couldn't she tell she had cancer? How can she have cancer she looks and acts fine? Look at the newbie threads - we were all there once, scared and confused out of our minds about terminology and procedures. Its a specific language for an unfortunate club that reinforces the loneliness.
On a happier note - the homemade pizza last night turned out well, but Girl Kitty seems to have sprained her back leg (she seems better this morning, though). And the government is threatening to lock us all down again, so after work today OH and I are making a trip to the big grocery store to get a back up on toilet paper, some flour, and a few other staples.
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Hi all. I just returned from a week away in Hilton Head. My sister from TX (and her DH) and friend from PA (and her DH) met us there. We had a great time together even with several days of rain. It was so good to get away. I am very grateful that we were able to go. We talked each other’s ears off, and it was exactly what we all needed.
Mel, my heart goes out to you. I have wanted to send you several posts to tell you how sorry I am about Tag, but I am having a hard time even writing this. I am very close to having to make the same decision for my Huey Lewis, and I am not sure how I’ll cope without him. But I will. I just want you to know I’m thinking about you every day and praying for peace. Love ya, girl!
On the subject of your masks, I took all of them with me to HH. I like to color coordinate them with what I’m wearing too! I love them because they don’t make my ears stick out like the other ones. I’m very thankful, Mel, for my beautiful masks.
Candy, I wish you lived near me. I would be your sister from another Mother. You would never be lonely. So glad you have us, your other family. You are never alone with us here and ready to listen.
Mae, you are truly a style queen. Seriously, I love your outfits, and your sun glasses are cool. I could use your help in that area. I mostly wear sweatpants and T-shirt’s. Poor DH. He probably wonders where his wife has gone!
Waving hi to Tanya, Sondra, Mara, KBL, Rosie, Dodgers, and all the rest. Missed my peeps!
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