My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Michel, thank you for beeng there for me for the good and the bad news. Thank you for the encouragement, I need it when I am scared. Today my fever is gone and feel better..
Ciber hugs and warm wishes
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good morning! I am having coffee again! My esophagus was burned too much before for me to have coffee it would burn too badly. When they say chemo kills healthy tissue we know they aren't kidding. I don't want to go back to bed. I have a slight headache dont know why. Just need to wake up more. I honestly don't like morning. I wake up to a whistle from my coonhound wanting to be fed. It seriously sounds like a whistle. Annoying as hell. But I love him! I am trying to get back into my BC (before cancer) routine. I was up awake every day at 730, and no later than830 on my way to the gym for my 6 mile or more run. I am not gym ready, but I am working towards getting my stamina back!! Much love you guys. I found my coonhound in the trash a little while ago. This Picjust cracks me up. "No mommy I wasn't in the trash, what makes you say that?" Have a great day ladies. Much love!
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Micmel thank you for being for me in the good and the bad news. Thank you for your support and encouragement. I needed it. I was so scared, especially about the fever, but now I am ok,
Ciber hugs and lov
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Blueshine~You are so very welcome, I am thrilled that anything I can say or do would help you. You have found your cyber place here with us. You are surrounded by good loving women. I am always here if you ever need an ear, or just a place to scream. This is your place. Family, love ,friends. These are the reasons we started this thread. You're grandson is perfect. Again....we are always here I am always here. Sending you hugs my friend! Much love~M~
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blueshine. Congrats to your DD and you. He looks healthy and adorable.
micmel your coon hound does look guilty. Too cute. The picture I posted is of my granddaughter holding my best friends granddaughter. I do have a grandson but he is six. Because of my DD health issues, she will not be able to have children.
My DD is scheduled for surgery on December 26 and January 4. Evidently, the doc will make a slit in the optic nerve sheath to let the excess spinal fluid drain. Therefore, it won't build up and put pressure on the optic nerve. It should help with her headaches too.
Leapfrog your garden is beautiful. I have a black thumb. Can't grow anything even when it is the right season. 🌻🌼🌷.
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This is my six year old grandson, the gymnast, this trick on the rings is called a back lever he is talented
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Grannax~ I get it now. A six year old !!!! Grandson, that is awesome. That's when they really start to have a sense of humor! My son was a HOOT! I am pleased that they Have a plan to get the excess fluid out for her. That is so important. ! Now maybe the holidays will be more enjoyable for you both! The baby is still gorgeous!
I still have so much to do. It's astonishing at how time flys. I remember it just being January of 15 when I was diagnosed. That was a bad year also! On New Year's Day and we found out that our neighbor, who at the time was only 13 had a terrible seizure, and was found unresponsive and in her own vomit! It came to be detected, that she has a brain tumor located in a very important part of our brain that handles the message center for our thoughts. It isn't malignant, but there is potential it could be. If they hadn't found her, she would have died. Someone had some kind of intuitive thought to get up in the middle of the night to chek on her!! So they are watching it closely, and she has to be watched every three months. And she's only thirteen. If it grows at all, they have To go in and remove it, and shave her entire beautiful head of hair! I don't understand, why things happen to inncocent beautiful people like your precious daughter. Sending big huge hugs! ~M~
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Grannax, 😮omg look at that strength! I was never that strong ever! I mean I could run. But my family is a tall family. My sister is over 6ft tall and I was (before I shrunk) 5-10' I am the smallest. So I could never ever even do too many pull ups. That's awesome. Did you take that proud Grannax picture? You must be so proud. I always wanted a boy, when I was pregnant. I got a girl first. Her name is Gabrielle and she's beautiful. My son Zachary is also very handsome. Justin is my step son and he's also quite handsome I might add. I will dig out some pics of my clan also. They are my world and my reason for living and fighting the cancer beast. But knock on wood, ive been feeling pretty great! I am thankful beyond thankful for that!!! Hugs to you! ~M~
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Popping in to wish merry Christmas and happy holiday season to everyone. Love the photos, the garden, the dog, the flying grandson...only six years old? Amazing.
I do not knock myself out for Christmas anymore. My menu is simplified, I do more online shopping and less decorating. It is SO much better this way. I really feel like there is great societal pressure on women to buy, buy, buy, create, create, create the "perfect" Christmas. I do not know any men at all who stress out about Christmas the way so many women do. I enjoy giving presents and getting together with family and friends, but I am done with wearing myself out before the big day. It is something I wish I'd learned sooner. I want to experience Christmas, not be invaded by it.
Micmel, you are right, time truly, truly flies. This Friday will mark seven friggin years when I first felt the gnarled lump in my left breast that would lead to stage iv dx. It is incredible all the things I have been able to experience since then. I hate being dx with mbc, yet I am grateful for so many good things.
A lovely 49 year old woman in my small town suffered a burst brain anyeurism earlier this month and remains hospitalized in a coma. She is one of those rare kind of people who is known and loved by everyone. Fun-loving, attractive, a woman who always appeared healthy and fit, didn't take herself too seriously, a hair dresser and fabulous photographer, two beautiful kids and an adoring husband. The whole town is devastated that something like this happened to a woman like this just out of the blue. It is very sobering. No one can say if she will recover, and if she does, whether she will have irreparable neurological damage. Life is unfair. This we know.
So, as I said, I am grateful for the good, deal with the bad, and always taking steps to move forward, still learning, still growing, embracing it all. Sending out best wishes to all in the New Year.
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Divine~ It truly is so nice to see you popping in to say hello. As I look back on this thread, you happen to be the very first person to post on it!! So thank you. I agree about Christmas. The presents part I took care of. I find that fun. It's the decorating and un decorating that I loathe. The expressions in people's face make my heart fill with joy. I will take my NEAD and head into a great Christmas with my loving family. Then they will take the tree down, I will do what I can, but everyone knows, I am more spunky in the mornings once I wake up. It takes me at least an hour to wake up and that is with coffee and a ritilan!! It's a challenge for us all! I am slowly going to phase out the big and loud decorations, I Am going to take photos tonight of the lights. I have been given some amazing decorations that were hand made and painted, I intended To pass them down. They attract every child on the street with the spotlight shining on it. That makes me happy. I will slowly phase out the decorations, and when DSS graduates. I will finally be moving to one house with my DH finally!
I am so glad to see you here. I hope you'll come back and share some memories with us. Tell us about your wonderful family and Or traditions. Or share your Christmas tree pic. So welcome back... big hugs and nothing but good thoughts and happy holidays to you and your family. May this new year be the year that there is an answer to the cancer cure question! ~M~ I also wanted to address that wonderful woman you mentioned, I hope against hope, that she will recover ndbe able to love that wonderful family they way she should be able to. I will be sending her strength and thoughts of hope!
Ok another edit. Adding. Way to go on seven years 🥂🥂 cheers to many many many many more sets of seven !
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Love seeing everyone's pictures, fur babies included! They all are precious and the reason that we fight so hard to stay here. I'm so glad that I can come here and freely express my deepest hopes and fears. It allows me an outlet so that I can be " normal" around my loved ones. Try as they might, it's impossible for them to fully understand. Saw my onc yesterday and she has no idea why my TMs went up but my scan is good. Says it could be something cooking up that is too small to be seen on a scan yet but doesn't think so because my labs are perfect, I have no new symptoms and my weight is stable ( and going up). Also says could be from inflammation..who knows. Took them again yesterday so we a will see. Not going to think about anything but the stable scan. I get to go 8 weeks before I go back. Yay!
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Lynnwood~you have no idea how happy stable makes me ! Congrats !! 🍾🎊 I know that when I hear that word. I feel some air return to my lungs, like a part of me was holding my breath. 8=two months! Wonderful. You're getting there my friend yes you are ! I totally agree about how this place should be your outlet, I was called quite negative by my children ( I know they were scared and mom is always there and always strong, so they don't want to admit I'm sick) so I started this thread to find my sisters and my second family to share whatever needed to be let off of my mind. This is our thread, our place of understanding and kindness! Endles support. I am always here, for a yell, vent, laugh, anything! I will listen, and i care. I don't see any need for anything else! We are in this together, we will fight together!
Enjoy those 8 weeks! Blood tests can vary especially at different times of any cycle of medicine. Tumor burn can raise your markers. At my highest tumor marker readings, it was three months into ibrance, they went to 42, also stable Scan.three months straight every month dropping since, last check they were 23, also other blood work perfect. I am out 12 weeks just to visit onc and have blood work and XGeva. Six months in between scans. So I'm looking at a May scan. Which sucks because it's my birthday month. It's either a crappie potential Christmas or a crappie potential birthday! Argggg so stressful! The thing I cling to is my onc saying you have no measurable disease! Only a few small surface spots, and ibrance is working. It was like a song in my ears I wanted to hear. Because I find since diagnosis. I am very choosey about music. Since i would cry at an opening of a Kmart!
Love you guys ! ~M~. Hug for Lynnwood! Get used to posting my friend. Letting out your feelings is a wonderful outlet. Not to mention we are quite fond of you being here !!!🤗
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Mel, that pic of your hound just cracks me up!!!! Toooo funny!!!
Grannax, holding your daughter in prayer!
2018 will be 11 years that I have been dealing with cancer in one way or another. A year and a half now with stage four. But I’m still standing!!
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Lynnwood...woot, woot! Merry Christmas to you and your family. Time for a celebration.
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Grannax, the image of your 6 year old grandson is amazing. The upper body and core strength in this young man must be incredible.
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NO1. He inherited that gene from is dad. Ha Ty has had two careers. First, he was an elite gymnast and coach, now he's an anesthesiologist. At age 43, he's just begun his second career. So, little Blake has had non stop " coaching" since he was born. Could be an advantage for this fearless child. Ya think?!? I'm very accustomed to little boys flipping on every piece of furniture in my house. It's really fun for me to see this full circle moment. I feel blessed to be here to see it. I've been at this BC, MBC lifestyle for twenty five years. UGH ( and I love to brag on my grandchildren, it's what grandmother's do). I plan to be at every meet. The gyms are one of my happy places.👦💕😍
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Wow Grannax, all I can say. 6 years old!! sending love and strength to your DD. Gorgeous baby Blueshine! Night night, hence the short post x
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I'm exhausted. Like fall over and not get up exhausted, I am finally done wrapping! Finally! .....DH showed up early this week and surprised me. Now I am happy, and exhausted. But I love him being here with me. So. I am going to see Chief in a few mins gonna get some pics ! I am so happy I have something for him! Hope everyone is doing well !! Much love ! ~M~
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Grannax~ that is very impressive. I can barely lift myself off the floor. I'm like a turtle trying to get up! He's going to go places ! Much hugs android thoughts for DD and you! Hugs ~M~
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good night ladies. All day of wrapping my back has had it. I am so tired. I am going to sleep hard lol. Sleep well friends. Hugs ~M~
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This is my DD and my grandson DD is very active in spite of her illness she loves to spend time with her niece and nephew, works part time and is a fierce hunter at her uncles hunting camp in Oklahoma.
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Blueshine...I have congratulated you on the other thread but congrats again on all the love. About the WBC, I wouldn't worry too much after only one cycle. I'm just finishing my tenth cycle and I have to have a second blood test every cycle because my blood work is always too low to start a new cycle at that stage. I always have a two week break, with two blood tests a week apart, instead of one and I'm not the only one in that position. Some of us just tend to go that bit lower than others. And I would say the reason you got sick is, with a lowered WBC and travelling, you would have been more susceptible to picking up a germ or two. When I go anywhere that there will be more than a few people I wear a mask, especially around the time that my blood work is low and my oncologist approves of it highly. I'd suggest that if you intend to go anywhere you wear a mask to protect yourself from germs. When I wear mine people might glance at me and wonder but I've never felt embarrassed or had people stare at me and if they did I wouldn't care anyway! My health is too precious to me to worry about that.
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Grannax, love the backstory of your son and grandson in terms of gymnastic ability. That tree photo is great, even the tree is so cool looking.
It is nice hearing that many of you are getting good scan/test results. Always nice to have that sigh of relief during the holiday season.
I am happy to share a few photos of the holiday trimmings around my house. In the living room is the tree. Many years ago, I asked dh to cut those stars from wood which I painted and wired bows on. In addition, we add the many ornaments we've gifted each other and ds over the years, my favorite being a small framed photo of the three of us when we brought ds home from the hospital as an infant.
Here's the first thing I see every morning when I come downstairs to start my day: The felt mitten on the doorknob has a date of 1998 when ds was in kindergarten --that's his handprint. This is a quick, simple yet festive decoration I leave up until March:
In the family room, I add lighted garland to the mantle which literally takes all of five minutes to fluff out and add a few winter knick knacks. The lights add that lovely ambiance in the evening hours. That is my precious kee-boy perfectly posing for the snapshot; how'd I get so lucky?
I change the decor on the bathroom counter according to the season. There are three little snowmen to the left of the faucet with our names on them, given to me by a good friend who makes and sells crafts. The plaque above the light switch looks like gifts stacked on top of each other and says "Family and Friends are the Best Gifts at Christmas."
I have some kitchen decorations, too, and dh hangs lighted garland and bows on the front and back porches. My mantra is "what goes up must come down." I don't decorate the upstairs as we spend most of our time downstairs, and it is nice to get a break from the Christmas hoopla and just relax and go to bed! I put out decorations enough to add a festive touch but not so much it makes me feel clausrophobic.
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Grannax~I once tried to climb a tree, I fell and broke my arm. She's amazing. Look at those smiles, that little Boy is thrilled to be in that tree! Nice green yard , I miss things that are green! I am so happy to put a face with your strong daughter, to match my thoughts of good that I have been sending!
I am exhausted. Like drained, beaten down, back hurting, feet throbbing exhausted! My DH surprised me by coming a day earlier which is fabulous, but I like to have the house spotless when he arrives. I have been just so busy, with Christmas 🎄! cleaning?What's that? Ugh! And this dreaded back nagging ache where my un wanted friend mister cancer took up residence, hinders any progress and strength! I don't even have a lot of mets in my spine either.... I can't imagine how some do it, with them every where! Women are amazing creatures! My strong friends! Much love ~M~
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Divine~ all I can is wow! You really have an eye for decorating don't you!!??the white crisp walls and no clutter anywhere. Such vibrant lighting and honestly just beautiful. I am impressed, that everything matches perfectly and your house looks Divine....just like your name. Anytime you start a side job of decorating. Sign me up!! Truly beautiful!! I have to ask... is that a real cat!!!??? Sitting by the fire place?? I Just cannot tell!!!! Tooo precious! Thank you sharing, I love seeing everyone's decorations, and I have to admit it all looks fabulous. It makes me feel like I have visited for tea and krimpets lol. Like we are all inviting each other into our worlds. I appreciate all of you so much, words cannot express how it feels to have all of you here with me. This thread has become my lifeline. lol I don't know somedays what I would dowithout you guys making me smile. Knowing I am not alone. Much love ~M~
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Divine. Your decor is beautiful. Love that you decorate for each season. My mom used to do that. Only a few more days left before Christmas and I finally got all the gifts wrapped. Now for two more family gatherings. ❤️🎄
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Beautiful Divine
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Thanks, ladies, for the compliments on my house. It has evolved over the years from a handyman's special needing quite a lot of remodeling that we tackled a little at a time. Of course I take the photos when its all straightened, tho being empty nesters helps keep the clutter down, and even when we have family gatherings with lots going on, it never takes long to clean up afterwards. When I moved in the house in the late 80s I didnt even know how to measure windows for curtains (honestly!) so I learned as I went along (meaning I made plenty of mistakes, ha ha!) One tip I learned and liked was to run similar colors through the rooms; it creates a nice flow and makes it easier to mix, match and move furniture and decor from room to room. The upstairs (where the bedrooms are) is done in soft shades of gray and blues; again, it is a way to disconnect from the business of the first floor to rest for the night.
Micmel, do you take tylenol or advil for the soreness, aches and pains? Does soaking in a hot tub help or a heating pad? This time of year is busy, but try to pamper yourself a bit!
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Divine~Yes I do, I Take a very low doseage of perc 5mgs like twice a day tops. It helps tremendously! But over this past week my activity level has skyrocketed. I have nothad a weekday or weekend nap in over two weeks now and. It's feeling great to feel like I am gaining stamina back! I had such fun visiting my grandpuppy! They gave me so many lovely gifts I felt so lucky, got to see the ever huge and growing Chief! I Just want To have the family together! That's all that matters! Lovely decor again! So beautiful! Much love ~M~
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......here is my grand puppy Chief! At 19 weeks old. Growing huge!0
