My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Candy: can your pastor help you? Surely there are other congregants w immune compromise, elderly relatives, or other reasons to be careful who might love a buddy too. Or possibly your cancer treatment center knows others - support group?- who are being cautious.
I am very selective who I see -- but in CA it's easier as the vaccine compliance is high here.
Mel, I think you should foster a dog or maybe a cat (easier!) and then foster fail, and keep them. Nothing puts you in to the moment, and nothing brings laughter as a critter does.
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I wish everyone had a cancer buddy. I believe it would truly help. Then only issue I would have would be getting too close and feeling a terrible loss and sadness perhaps at some point. That. Would be my only second thought. It kinda happened with Philly. We talked on Instagram and we comment on a lot of things together and even talked on the phone a few times. She was special to me. But IfI had a cancer buddy I think I might be a lot happier knowing that what’s being said is truly understood and my poor DH isn’t stuck seeing me break down in his arms time and time again. I just think it would do me good to have someone locally. But the other problem is compatibility, will you like them? Age could be a factor for some it’s a difficult thing to match. I’ve been asking palliative Care for years now. I guess there is no one that fits the bill. My age. My stage. I even hate saying that. My stage. I didn’t audition for anything. Ugh! Glass is half full. That’s what I’m going to say.
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Santa~ hello my Friend. I would love to rescue a dog. My DH has too much going on to take on a dog. He works too many hours. I could help some with the dog, but I nap a lot. He would have to help me. He has too much on his plate. Traveling back and forth mondays to tuesdays. For work now Big boss wants optics. In the office. I’ll pop him in the eye. Give him optics. Ruined my plan. So for the unseen future I’m dogless. And jealous of all dog owners. ! I so badly want one.
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Well another lazy day for me. Aside from laundry and surveys, did not do much but listen to heavy tools doing god knows what with the empty apartments. My cats were very frightened, both shaking like leaves. Hopefully the lazies go away soon, quite boring in the house but not going out unless I need something.
I also was dreaming just before I woke up about my diner being robbed by a couple of fellows, the most gentle robbers ever. I collapsed out of stress and my heart stopped in the dream. The one robber started giving super gentle chest compressions. The funniest part was I woke up to my cat tigger kneading my chest, guess that was where the chest compressions came from. I usually block the door so they cannot get in, forgot to do it last night. Just kind of a funny start to the day.
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Mara, what a cat person kind of dream, with the kitty paw chest compressions. Poor kitties, I hope the noisy work is over very soon.
Yes, candy, I do have stuff going on. After 1 1/2 years I'm off the trial because of progression, and it is not liver mets waking up but new ones in colon and peritoneum. I had to have surgery to remove a blockage, so I am on a strict low fiber diet while I heal from that. Much of my attention goes to getting enough nourishment. I can't do much work in my garden yet because of the surgery which is hard because that is “my happy place". I must be content with planting a couple pots, and am grateful to some helpers for other garden work. I have not decided if I can go camping as planned next month. So, just kind of spinning my wheels and trying to figure out what I can do.
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Sorry guys. I posted and then got pulled away from online and could not respond till now.
Santabarbarian- My church is small. I live in a rural community. Maybe 50 members, and all are elderly. My Pastor just retired after 60 years in the ministry (not all at our church of course) and we are looking for an interim Pastor now. Not much choices within my church. I just started attending my cancer center's support group, but we are meeting per Zoom. Which is good since I live 2 hours from the center. We meet weekly per Zoom. It is nice, but, yet again, limited on what I could do in person with the group.
Mel- Good point about compatibility. We need more in common than MBC. Age. Likes. Interests. AND MBC.
Mara- Good grief about your dream. I too have a cat and I get it about the kneading.
ShetlandPony- I am sorry you are having to go thru so much. I am fortunate, so far, that I have had it so good. Just mainly fatigue and mild nausea. This cancer sucks.
"Pocket Duty" for week of Nov 29---
Kittykat- bloods on Wednesday, MO Thursday, chemo Friday.
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No pocket duty for me, nothing medical this week.
I posted on Steam room but since this is my home, I’ll update here. My brother, who has only briefly had his shit together in his 52 years is currently in jail. He lives with my parents (as do his teen sons), he was drunk and high when an argument broke out into s fight. I’m told he tried to strangle my dad and punched my mom in the head, when she attempted to break it up. Now, you all know that I don’t like my parents as people but they’re in their 70’s and any elder abuse is heinous. I am absolutely livid. Sadly, an addict abusing family, grandparents raising grandkids and children growing up with reckless egomaniacs is not so uncommon these days. WTF?!
On s brighter note, it was s beautiful and warmer day today. Tomorrow, we’ll stop by the hospital to see our friend and take him thanksgiving leftovers (he can eat soft things on his own now) and head back to Houston in the afternoon.
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I hope everyone had a nice holiday weekend. I have so many aches and pains I don’t know which end is up. But I had a wonderful thanksgiving with my children and DH and his sister and her DH and son. Dss brought his girlfriend and she is as cute as can be. Wish my son could meet someone, I think it may help mature him. But I realized I had mostly all of my favorite people in one room together. Those moments are special. I did have the “will I see another”? moment, but I pushed it out of my mind. I paid the price for eating too much or too fast. But it felt like I had swallowed a balloon. Terrible gas pains and bloating. It was awful. The human body when not functioning correctly really does quite hurt. Hours or waiting it out. Some pain felt like labor pains. Seems like my system is never at peace. But over all the weekend was a great time and I am thankful for it.
I’m available for pocket duty first thing ! Hugs to all
Thanks to the person who sent me the sweet personal message. I am looking forward to corresponding more.
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Mae, I'm sorry and horrified to hear about what went on with your brother and abusing his parents. Agreed that even if you are not a good person, does not mean you should be abused at any age let alone in your 70's. Drugs are definitely ugly.
Mel, glad the company at your house this weekend was good, such a nice Holiday weekend you had. As far as the pain, understandable for sure.
I did not do much today, Bought another wig from my survey money since I am so far ahead on grocery gift cards from surveys. Will have two coming in the mail, same style as the one in my avatar though the wig itself is much lighter than the picture in my avatar.
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Mae I’m so sorry that happened to your parents. I’m glad you are safe and living your life to the fullest.
Tany
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Mae- That is awful about your family. Family can really be complicated sometimes. I know. This life is so hard.
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Mae~ we must have been posting at the same time. As I read along and I was jaw dropped. I'm so sorry to hear all that went on. You just don't know what someone will do. Even if they are family. Of course you wouldn't want to see them harmed. I hope things settle down for your parents. But it sounds like a hairy situation there. Hope your brother figures his shit out. Very sorry for your family. Going through this is hard stuff traumatized the kids are I am sure. Hugs to you.
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Mae, I was so sorry to read about your family situation. I agree, any abuse is horrific. I don't mean to pry but what about your nephews? Are your parents safe in their home with these boys? Who will take over their supervision now their Dad is in jail? You are so very generous with your time, effort & heart. I know this is awful for you.
We had Thanksgiving at our DS, DIL & grandson's house. Our DD, her husband and children came as well. Like you Micmel, it was a delightful evening and I was just so happy to be joining in.
Jane
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Mae, like all the others, I'm sorry to hear about your parents and brother, but on the other hand I'm glad your friend is recovering well.
It'd good to hear of the good time with family for thanksgiving, I had a nice time with Finn over the weekend. I've got blood tests on Wednesday, onc visit Thursday and chemo Friday, lucky me, I get to go to the hospital 3 days in a row this week. I'm glad it's only a 10 min drive away. Here for pocket duty for anyone who needs it, take care everyone.
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Mae, I’m so sorry about your parents and the family situation. That’s awful. Hopefully, it could be a wake up call for your brother or your parents. It seems when parents try to help, it may end up as enabling. Ugh. Hope to see you this afternoon.
Candy, I’m glad you’ve got your group to talk to on Zoom. I go to the one from here and look forward to it every week.
Mel, that’s so awesome you had a good Thanksgiving. I’m sorry you had stomach issues after.
Kitty, yay for getting to spend time with Finn. Yuck for all the hospital stuff this week.
In for pocket duty for anyone who needs it.
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KBL- I have read that some on here meet up on Mondays. I need to attend sometime. Not today though, I am busy. But soon maybe.
Kittykat- I will add you to the list.
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Jhl, my parents are safe with the boys, they're good enough kids and they've lived with my parents most of their lives. Custody is shared with their mom, she's no picnic either, drinking and yelling a lot. They're 15 and 17, hopefully they get far from all of them as soon as they can and start new.
KBL, my mom definitely enables, always has. There is no excuse for my brother but our parents are not good, they provoked him on many occasions, they told me “the wrong kid got cancer", they constantly tell him he lives like a dog on a couch in the garage (that's his “room"), they treat him like crap but keep him around, so they don't turn on each other probably.
I couldn't be bought, I saw it and moved far away, he thought it was easier to be taken care of but ended up trapped. It's just a mess.
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I just read the posts over the weekend.
Mae- I am so sorry for this family mess. So many dysfunctional families and people. You are lucky you did get away from it. Yet we still get caught up in the drama.
Mel- I am glad you had your family around you for Thanksgiving. As for the dog maybe you could rescue an older dog that doesn't need alot of walking etc. There are so many older dogs that need rescued because people want puppies or younger dogs. Maybe someone would walk a dog once a day. Just a thought.
Kittykat- busy week coming up. Glad you had time with Finn.
On Saturday we took special son to a Victorian Christmas Market in town. The Market was outdoors but there were specialty shops opened for Christmas. The downtown was also decorated with Whoville characters. It was good but cold. Wore masks outside as well as inside.
Tomorrow isn't pocket duty for me but my special son has to travel to New Brunswick for an MRI. He has seizures (mostly focal ) but the specialist wants to make sure everything else is ok in the brain. He has to be put under with a general because there is no way he would lay down otherwise. His special workers are taking him so I'm going to be a nervous wreck all day. The hospital is about 3 hours away.
Want to join in on the Monday meetings but it is right in the middle of the afternoon here. Especially after a weekend I do rest in the afternoon. I find I need it to continue on with the rest of the day.
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Candy, that would be great. Hope to meet you some day.
Mae, I am sorry you are dealing with the family drama. You would never know it unless you said something because I see your positiveness, and it always makes me smile. I feel bad for the kids, but hopefully they have your strength.
LivingIVLife, hope to meet you some day too in our Zoom
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I always seem to nap during the zoom time frame. No matter what I do I just wind up napping. I hope you all had a good meeting today. Hope everyone is doing well. haven't gone to bed yet which I'm hopeful I'll sleep.
moth ~ how are you doing ?KBL~ nice to see you.
Goldens, living, Mara.Candy, SeeQ,Rosie,Tanya,BooBoo, kitty,jhl,
Santa, Shetland,Runor,I write , jensgothis njgirl💐
Sandibeaches, haven't seen you around much. Hope all is well. To anyone I've missed I'll be back But offer hugs and pocket duty to anyone who needs it. ! Love to all..
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Mae - so sorry about the family problems. I hope your parents stand their ground for their own safety.
Zoom meetings - I'm going to measure it again... some day. Lol
Mel - I have terrible problems with digestive cramping sometimes; Gas-X (simethicone) really helps me - eases the pain.
Living - the Victorian Christmas Market sounds wonderful! I hope everything went well with your sis MRI.
Kittykat- sounds like a busy week at the hospital. It's nice that's it's close by m though.
Think good thoughts for us for closing on our Florida house. We've been delayed twice already, and now they're just getting stupid. We should close by the end of the week, if all goes well.
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SeeQ~thanks for the suggestion, that is exactly what it was , digestive cramping. My oh my the pain. The air bubble was stuck under my rib. I was in agony. I’m going to stock up on that. I don’t want that happening. I thought I was getting a food allergy. Like gluten or dairy. Can you just develop that?? An allergy? I’ve never had any problems before but I’ve noticed sensitive stomach to certain things lately. I know I’m getting old but this crap is for the birds.
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Mel - yes, it can be agonizing, and you know it will pass (literally <g>), but in the meantime...uggh
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Hello to the living room! I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving and good start to the holidays for those not in the US. Ours was delayed because my brother and I both worked the holiday so we celebrated yesterday combined with his birthday. It was good. We did Costco chickens instead of cooking a turkey. I wasn't feeling well and my folks are older so Costco was a game changer for us this year. Still helped my dad make cornbread stuffing and green bean casserole. I think it was a good day.
I saw my MO this morning. I've had increasing pain and fatigue. My PET scan in May showed NED status but based on the bone scan I just had a few weeks ago that looks like it isn't the case. I have uptake still in the right hip and femur, several spots in the spine and my left tibia. My MO kept emphasizing this isn't a progression, it's all stuff that was already there and it's stable, so that's good news. There are no new mets. Even so, it's a little deflating to think that I'm not NED, maybe I never was. I'm wondering if I misunderstood the PET scan result in May. I am being scheduled for a T-spine MRI and he wants to do more radiation to the spine and left knee/tibia area. So, hopefully that will help.
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Emac~It is all so confusing. It’s enough to drive you nuts. I’m glad nothing new showed up. If there was anything they would have seen it. Bones are a funny thing I think with keeping a handle and an eye on them. I think they are slow moving. (Thank goodness). I’m sorry if you’re having pain. I know it can also be maddening to be in constant pain and discomfort. Ned is my choice for you !!
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Mel, thanks for asking about me! It was my post chemo weekend & I was a limp noodle in bed for large chunks of it. I'm better today and made it without a nap or even a lie down.
but i managed to give myself an anxiety stomach headache from xmas shopping online. I'm so indecisive so I had a gazillion tabs open and things in carts and then pop up saying sale ends soon and ugh.... I'm trying to not let it get to me but there is a real possibility that this might be the last one so it's ramping up the desire to have it not be lame...
I have a bone scan on Thursday. Still waiting on the CT appointment - they booked it in the wrong facility (they can't take pts with a port there) so I've been calling them back to reschedule at the other place but still no word.
hugs everyone
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Moth, I know what you mean about trying to Xmas shop o line and trying to cross compare. I usually give myself a whopper of a headache, get really irritable after too long and then it just becomes a bit of a chore! Short spurts works best but it's so easy to get sucked in.
Still in icu today waiting for a room to open up but doing well post mx. We are going to try sitting up in a chair again today as my first attempt yesterday I got really woozy and then second attempt didn't happen due to bed scheduling hokey pokey. But it's been pretty quiet down here so not a big deal. Hope I can brush my teeth soon!
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I have my CT and bone scan on Thursday. I wish I could say I'm not worried. My last bone scan two months ago showed increased activity in T11 so my upcoming scans are after 2 months instead of 3. If I have progression I will start IV chemo of some kind. Maybe if T11 is the only concern, I could get radiation to that vertebra.
I watch my 6 y/o granddaughter while her daddy (not my son) works full time. My daughter has issues. I really only wanted to do it a day or two a week. I strongly suggested he have another child care plan because my situation could change without much notice. I think he is procrastinating. I love my granddaughter with all my heart. She is a good kid so watching her isn't too difficult right now.
I feel selfish or something by just blurting it out here. I read here daily and and silently root for you all.
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Sondra,
I am sorry you are in the hospital. I must have missed why you are there. In any case, prayers for a quick recovery and hoping all was successful.
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Pocket duty for Moth for Thursday's bone scan. And for Dutchiris' CT and bone scan Thursday too. Emac sorry for the increased pain. Hope the radiation helps you. Sondra thinking of you as you recouperate in the hospital.
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