My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Glad to see all of the posts after not being able to log in all day. Moth, I'm glad your husband is getting better. Mel, I hope your funk is starting to get better. You're such an inspiration, whether you feel like it or not.
To all the rest, who I don't mention by name, I do read each post, and feel the pain and the joy. I, too, wish this living room was real and we could come and go with our snacks, wine and Kleenex.
I had my blood drawn today. Went at the end of the day as it was the only time my sweet DH could take me. Lots going on with his work and my dad. Anyway, I had an excellent phlebotomist, as usual at this location. She said she used to work in the hospitality field, got laid off due to COVID and decided to go into the medical field. I think she found her calling - and she'll never be out of a job.
I'll see my MO and get my Zometa infusion tomorrow. Need to talk about the results of the PIK3 CA test. Am still hopeful that I won't be on the hook for the $9K for the test. Got a letter from Guardant (where the test was done). Not a bill, but it sounds like they're willing to work with patients to get it covered by insurance and if it's not, they'll work with me to figure something out. Strangely, I'm not too worried about this.
Scans next Wednesday, possible family coming to visit for a week and then our son, DIL and another friend may come for a couple of days. As long as I can rest as needed, I'll be OK. Son and DIL are the best ever. (He's the one who adopted us.) He just passed a major certification test, so we're super happy for him.
Now I'm waiting for my DH to go to bed so that I can finish watching the end of a Hallmark movie. It's a new one for me, so other than knowing that "the girl gets the guy", I don't know the details. No snarky exes in this one. I hate snarky exes. This one is called "A Very Merry Bridesmaid". Six minutes left in the movie...
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Moth, so happy your husband is doing better. I finally got a real tree for the first time in ten years. I agree, we want the best. I hope you have fun decorating it and fall in love. We had to cut a bunch of branches off the bottom that were stragglers, but it looks great.
Mel, I’m so happy you found someone to talk to. You do deserve to be happy. You are an inspiration here, as someone said. Hugs.
Hello to everyone, and I’m thinking of you all
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Mel - we must have been posting at the same time. I just want to echo what others have said. I'm glad you found someone to talk to and hope they can help you find more brighter days. We all love you.
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Moth - glad to hear your hubs responded to the cardiac version. Hoping he stays in normal sinus rhythm!
Mel - so glad you found a therapist. Kudos for knowing you needed help and actively pursuing it.
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Wow so much posting !!! I check in several times during my day and not many posts, then after I log off for the evening/night then you all come out to talk. I shut my PC down about 6pm and watch TV for the evening and then to bed around 9 or so. I guess if Mel's Living Room was real I would have to come over and chat later in the day. LOL.
Moth- Glad to read DH's heart rate and rhythm is better. Hope they can give him medicine to keep it good. I am not good at sudden/fast decisions either. If the tree guy was standing there waiting on me I would not want to hold him up. But, I bet the tree will look good for you. Like one said, you can turn it this way and that to show the best side. I have never had a real tree.
Mel- Happy to hear you found a therapist. I hope you can get the help you need. I want you to feel better and enjoy life as much as you can.
I watched another webinar this last weekend. And they mentioned something I had not thought about. That when our MO's are deciding our treatment plan they look at 2 factors-- Performance Status and Ejection Fraction. Performance Status is a measure of how we are physically--- are we bed bound, are we really active, or are we in-between. Can we get up and do activities of daily living, bathe and dress. Do we go to stores for our groceries. Etc etc. Ejection Fraction is a measurement of our heart function. They test that with an echocardiogram.
So.... I got to thinking. I have led a sedentary lifestyle since stopping my job, and the Covid pandemic isolation. My family has terrible hearts so that is in my DNA. So... I got on You Tube and found a low impact exercise video. I am going to try to do this several times a week. I cannot do some of the routine due to my ortho conditions-- shoulder issue, back issue, hip issue. But I can try. Something is better than nothing.
But it made me think that I need to try to be as healthy as I can so I can fight the cancer.
I cannot be like our Mara and be that active, but I can do something.
Do any of you do any exercises? I know some on here are way more active--- kids to run after, or sports you play. But I feel soooo unactive.
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Moth so happy to hear your husband is better.
Mel hopefully the therapist will help with some great skills.
Candy that workout sounds like a good idea. I only swim in warmer months so I need to get mobile. Not Mara superstar mobile but more than what I am.
good to see everyone posting about things to look forward to.
Tanya
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Moth, happy to hear your DH is on the mend. Hope he comes home soon.
Shetland Pony is right about the perfect, imperfect tree. I have a slightly crooked fake tree, but after adding some twinkly lights, my favorite ornaments, especially the brightly decorated wreaths and Christmas trees made by the grandkids, I smile every time I look at it.
Mel, I hope your new therapist can help you find some joy.
Candy, I don't get a lot of exercise. But, I do walk at least 20 minutes in the morning and evening. Always makes me feel better when I get outside. I also do some light weight lifting several times a week.0 -
Candy, I walk, usually 20-30 minutes, which I do for my mind as much as my body. I enjoy walking to music and taking in my surroundings without any particular thoughts, just calm. I was lifting lights weights to improve my strength but packed those up last year for the move that is taking far too long. I’m not as consistent as I’d like but I always feel so much better after a walk.
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I adore all you ladies more than I can express in words. A wonderful group of loving ladies we have made here together. Caring, supporting. Cheering. I thank you so much for all the kindness. It means more than you can ever know. You make this just a little bit better knowing you’re here to vent and cry with. Thank you. Love to all
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Moth-Glad your husband is doing better-how stressful that must have been.
Mel-So glad you are making this move to take care of yourself. I hope your therapist is able to guide you so that you can find more enjoyment in life right now. Our mental health is just as important or maybe even more important than our physical health, so we all need to attend to it.
Candy-Good for you for deciding to exercise more. From the little I know of you on here, it sounds like you are an organized person who thrives on routine. I am sure you are very diligent about taking your pills. If you look at exercise as another part of your cancer treatment, I think you will be just as diligent. Why not decide to start walking 6 days a week at a particular time? I know you have sometimes used the treadmill but that didn't stick so well. Maybe try walking outside, just starting slow-15-20 minutes and then building up your time each week. I'm a big fan of trekking poles, especially for anyone who might have issues walking because they stabilize you and also give a upper body workout. I don't use them now except if I am going on a long walk or hike but they were helpful when I was trying to get moving again after being really sick.
Cheers to all-I hope you are having a good day.
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MoCoGram and Mae- Good that you both walk for exercise. And the weights, I have not done that. I don't even have weights, but I heard you can use food cans in place of weights. Like a 15oz can of green beans. That would be like a 1 pound weight.
Chicagoan- I know you have posted yoga videos before. I have tried yoga in the past, but some of the poses I cannot do. The lifting arms above head I cannot do with my shoulder issue. And the crossing legs or sitting in the floor I cannot do.
I do have a treadmill and have not been on it for 6 months or so with the hip issue I am having. I tried the treadmill the other day and about fell off !!!! My hip could not keep up with the conveyor belt, even at low speed, and I had to pull the safety cord to stop it before I flew off.
I guess even a little exercise is better than none.
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moth: I am relieved to hear about your husband. I hope all those stress chemicals leave your body soon so you can start caring for yourself too. Love that tree because of its failings. No one of us are perfect and neither is the tree.
mel: I hope the therapists will help you get back to feeling more like you and find some joy.
To all you active folks: You shame me. I am mobile and I should get out and be MORE mobile. I could walk in my neighbourhood and go down to Boundary Road that separates Burnaby from Vancouver. It is only about ten blocks, downhill - which means it is ten blocks uphill and some of it is quite steep. I won't be like mara but it is a start.
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Oh guys you should see me. I just did the You tube video exercises again. I am so uncoordinated!!!! I could never be a dancer. One of the moves is side steps with a clap. Reminds me of the rub your tummy and pat your head at the same time thing. LOL. I cannot get my hands and feet going at the same time. Another is a box step-- like dancing. I feel so clumsy. But I am moving. It is 30 minutes of continuous movement--- marching in place between these different step routines. I am panting and my heart is pounding so it must be good for me. LOL.
It is in the comfort of my home so I am not anywhere anyone can see me. And climate controlled. That is why I do not like walking outside. Too hot, or too cold, or rainy. Loose dogs chasing you around the neighborhood. Or weird people wanting to talk to you. Or making fun because I am masked.
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Candy, good for you. Every little bit helps us get stronger. I'm not a very good example. I have a hard time motivating myself. Very long on my feet makes the neuropathy worse but I do try to get out every other day at least for a short trip somewhere. Being in California I don't even have the excuse of bad weather for not getting out.
Several of you seem much more motivated than I. Perhaps you'll give me some inspiration.
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Hey All, Apologies for jumping into Mel's living room
Just making sure you know that in addition to our Monday meetups, we now have a 2nd Virtual Meetup TODAY
(and now every Wednesday) at 4pm, ET for people with MBC
To register, go HERE.
After registering, you will receive a confirmation email containing information about joining the meeting.
Hope to see you there.
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Candy, I'm so proud of you! I find it hard to get motivated and exercise on my own, but look at you doing a 30-minute video. If you want to master the side-step-with-claps, here are a couple suggestions. (I used to teach dance classes and hope to again some day). Practice each part separately first. Put your hands on your hips and just work on the stepping. Then plant your feet and just work on the claps. Do it as slowly as necessary but try to do it smoothly. Turn off the video and just hum or count slowly. Eventually, put the hands and feet together, still slowly, then gradually work up to the speed of the video.
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SP- I do the steps during the video and then try to add in the claps and then my feet get messed up. Haha. I feel so clumsy. Even one is just with the feet-- it is a diagonal step-- and I add steps that are not supposed to be there. I wonder if it is hopeless for me. I do not have the "groove". Then there is "jumping jacks" -- they call it star-something. No way I can do that. Left arm won't go above the head and right hip won't spread that far. And this is "low impact beginners exercises". Not too flattering to watch me.
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candy: You know the saying, "dance like nobody's watching" It is all good...you are up and moving and that is what counts in the end.
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Candy, I took today off. At the end of yesterday, my feet were sore so I decided not to push my luck. I may go tomorrow. I am happy that I can walk the way I do but I also had to add the bus in there to get both places I needed to be. Very hilly route. 6 miles total.
Short walks should be celebrated too. Too often I think some of us feel less than when we hear of what others can do. 5, 10 or 20 minute walks count, chair marching is awesome.
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dh is home. Just has tons of appointments now for follow up. They're talking about an ablation later down the road. Lauri thanks for sharing your experience & I hope that my dh recovers as well as you.
My stress levels are coming down. We buy our trees early and keep them in water outside until later in December. We used to wait to put up the tree until dec 24th ... but have been pushing it back. Not sure when we'll do it this year.. probably the 18th. For about the last 10 yrs dh has been getting the tree himself and I never saw it until he brought it in the house lol. dh does so much for us. This house & family run because of all the work he puts in. I'm so lucky.
Hugs everyone
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mel, so glad you found someone to talk to. I hope it's a good match. You deserve to be happy.
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Moth~ I. Feel the same way about my DH. A blessing for sure. Glad he’s home. Rest up both of you!
Hi Mara~ hope you’re day was ok !
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Mel, Adding my good thoughts that your therapist is helpful to you. I’m glad you were able to make this connection.
Moth, So glad to hear your DH is improving!
Thanks for all the pocket duty for my MRI today. You all helped me a lot with the breath holds I had to do, sometimes I don’t always make it to the end and this time it wasn’t bad at all. I was hoping to have the report today but nothing yet.
Candy, I suggest trying Silver Sneakers online if there’s anything posted. The program is for 65 and up but the lighter exercise might be just right for aches and pains. I go to a yoga class once a week that’s Silver Sneakers but perfect for me even though I’m younger than 65. All seated or standing and very easy to follow directions. (Some hard stuff but we all just do what we can.)
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Hi Mel, today was just fine. Surveys and laundry. Rested my feet as well.
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Moth- I am so glad to hear your dh is home. It must be a relief and a little load taken off your shoulders. I know at times I complain about my husband then I don't know what I would do without him.
Candy- it is so great you are taking steps to get more exercise time in. I know I should start a regular routine but I figure I get exercise in working around the house and getting ss out on weekends. Mae is right when she says a small walk each day clears the head and mind.
Yesterday was my dh birthday so instead of going out for dinner I I had a chef who offers cooking classes come into the house . Both myself and hubby helped with preparation while enjoying a couple of drinks. We cooked crusted eggplant Parmigiano with roasted vegetables and penne pasta with sauce. Everything was vegetarian and dairy free. It was so much fun and a great change.
Finally got our first snowfall last night and today. Everything is so white and pretty. As I look outside my thoughts are of all of you and wish everyone a good day.
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Well I got my mri report today and it’s not a good one. “There is interval increase in size and number of hepatic lesions.” It says at least 5, largest measuring 1.8 cm, and 1.7 cm. I’m pretty sure my Ibrance days are about over. I see my MO next week and will find out what happens next. Ugh.
(Cross-posting to Ibrance thread if I can figure out how.
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Rosie, I’m sorry about the report but with 5 or so, I’d think radiation would be a good option and pretty successful, I think. I hope your appointment goes as well as possible and that whatever comes next knocks it back.
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moth: my family only put the tree up on the 24th and it came down on January 1st. I don't like having my Yule greenery up too soon but the 24th seems so late these days. I usually put stuff up around the 15th. Dad harboured some Celtic superstition about bad luck happening bringing in the greenwood too soon. Not that he would say anything about bored faeries -- just some unspecified bad luck.
Husbands. I have to ask myself who is the saint in our relationship of 50 years. Neither of us have tried to kill the other yet. Ha ha. We are surviving a major reno in the kitchen without bickering.
LivingIVlife: wow. I would love to have a chef come to our place. What a treat. Dinner sounds great but I would miss parmesan. I probably like cheese too much.
Rosie24: I am sorry to hear about the report and that you have to wait a week. The wait is always so bad.
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Not - Glad your DH is home.
Rosie - I am so sorry. I think Mae has a good idea for treatment. I hope your appointment goes well.
Mel - I hope your therapist is super and can help you out.
Candy - it sounds like we would make good workout partners as I am uncoordinated as well and have a lot of physical limitations. Good for you getting moving. Please try to be outside some as I do think the outdoors is good physically and mentally. Here's an easy line dance that maybe you can learn and do it anytime throughout the day that you feel like it: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xLvpGl1wOto
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Moth - glad Hub is home and on the mend. He must have been going crazy with boredom in a bed all day long at the hospital.
Mel - glad you are seeing someone. Hope they help you. I have seen a few therapists at different times, some I loved, some were weird. The weird ones made me feel better too because I'd leave their office and think, at least I'm not as odd as that guy! And that was helpful, to know there are people out there that make you look normal!
Had mamm and ultrasound and US says I have a 'thing' in my good boob that they want to check again in 6 months.
To all having such a tough time at this time of the year, when the pressure to be joyful, decorated and well baked (as in baking, not as in smoking a lot of dope) my heart goes out to you. This can be a brutal season for many people. Love and hugs to all.
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