My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Mae, they are so cute. How big will they be full grown? Are they sleeping for you at night? I know it’s hard with a new pup or two during the night.
Thank you, Mel. I so hope they do move in. We shall see how it goes.
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KBL, they’ve been napping with DH but only when I supervise, they’re just too tiny to sleep with us. Their mom is a terrier, I don’t know what type, the photo of her looked like a muppet, she’s only 6lbs and dad must have been smaller. Currently, they sleep in an open cat carrier in my closet, which is a walk-in and plenty big enough. They have whined at bedtime but we don’t respond. So far, I’ve put them in “their room” when we’re out or downstairs and they quickly go lay down, don’t fuss and aren’t impatiently waiting for us. Pretty quick learners for only 2 days with them.
They’ll show up to Monday’s zoom, so get ready for squeaky, bouncy fun 😁
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Pocket duty list for the week of April 3----
Kittykat--- Liver ultrasound Thursday
Anyone else?
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I've got an ultrasound of my liver on Thursday.
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Ok, I want to ask your advice. As you know, I live alone. And I have been pretty well isolating since Covid. My home is my "safe zone". I have only had 1 worker in my home in the last couple of years--- the roofer. He came in my kitchen and sat at the table with his laptop to discuss shingle color selection, price, etc. He was masked. I was masked.
So now I was thinking of inviting over my "texting buddy", as I call him on here. We want to have a movie night. See "The Sting"--- classic movie from the 1970's. He has not seen it !!! But that would be wwaayy more intimate. Shoes off. Kicked back in a recliner. Snacks. 3 hour movie, I think. No masking.
I am hesitant. My home is my "safe zone". Mainly Covid fears. But not just Covid risk, but just other germies. Stomach flus going around. Sniffles. Etc. If he felt sick, he would cancel, of course, as he knows my germaphobe issues. I thought about a rapid test for Covid, but I don't know where one would get that around my area (rural).
Should I throw caution to the wind and just have the movie night? Life is short and have some fun time.
Or should I hold off on a movie night, and do something else outside in the open air with my friend and save movie night for another time? (I can always get the DVD, so it is not do-it-now-or-never thing)
I guess I am thinking if I fudge on this, then why not go out to restaurants, or go to church services? Why keep masking if I am not going to mask for this movie night? Seems I am talking the talk, but not walking the walk if I let him in my home unmasked.
Thoughts....
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pups are precious and great video/article Mae. in your pocket Kitty.
mara~ glad to see they are making your building safeCandy~ hello sweet woman!
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Candy,
You are as protected from Covid as a person can be with two boosters. I don't see any big risk in having a movie night with one friend who would let you know if he was sick. With warmer weather you can probably open a few windows. With Covid down, I see no reason not to go to church, restaurants, etc. especially since your white counts are not low under Lynparza. I still try to maintain some physical distance but basically live normally now. There's a trade-off-you can spend the rest of your life alone in your home to avoid all germs or you can take some calculated risks to begin enjoying life a bit more. I guess the question is: what would it take for you to feel comfortable being around people again? Only you can answer that.
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Candy, I see no issue with having a movie night with your friend. You can always disinfect after, wear a mask or both of you wear masks except for snacking purposes. You have been boosted 4 times if I read your posts right. I also know that you have had a lot of depression that you have dealt with. You should go places that are important to you like church etc. Maybe stay out of malls if that would be too much but a restaurant that is spaced out or outdoor settings if you feel better would make you mentally feel better. You can always keep your hands sanitized and try it out. Covid is an endemic now I think, different strains will be going around, we cannot stay in forever and for mental health we need to add small doses of social to our lives. Just my two cents. This is also coming from an anxious person who deals with depression here and there that can be severe. The social aspect is important. I am planning to start mall walking if I am not walking to the store as well, just to people watch. That plus DB shopping trip comprises most of my social. I do wear masks in public spaces as well. Did try going without as we have no mandates but just cannot do it. About 1/2 to a third of people still mask in the grocery store too. I will use it to ward off colds etc as well.
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Chicagoan and mara- You both make valid points. On one hand I think "Yes, go ahead and have a movie night" , but on the other hand I think that is being two-faced. Harp about masking, wear a mask when out and about (when others are not masking in my area anymore), and then inviting a friend over to movie night in my home and act like pre-Covid days. Where do we draw the line anymore? Go out to restaurants and crowds? Mask or not? If mask one time and not another then that does not make sense. The germs are not picking and choosing when to get you. I think now is a very confusing time. In the beginning of the Pandemic it was cut and dry. Stay free of people and mask. Now, it is vague. When is it safe and when should you be more careful?
Chicagoan hit the nail on the head--- "what would it take for you to feel comfortable being around people again". That is the big question for me right now.
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https://special.usps.com/testkits?utm_source=id&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=covidtestkit
Candy, You mentioned not knowing where to get a rapid COVID test. Everyone can order free COVID tests from the federal government through the post office. At first, 4 were sent and after the first order, we can order 4 more.
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Candy, don't overthink movie night. Have the friend over, both of you wear masks. You do not need to be maskless unless you are eating snacks. I think you can do both and still have masks on and the social distance if you feel better that way. Nothing wrong with caution whilst doing things you would like to do. Edited to add that the rapid test is a decent option as well as people suggested.
I did have a nice breakfast. Took a hashbrown, defrosted so I could chop it up for hash, 1/2 cup pinto beans, 1/4 cup beefless ground. I put those in the oven at 450 for around 10 mins. Everything had a nice crunch. While that was going, took some mushroom, a garlic clove, very small piece cut, spinach and cauliflower floret. Chopped them finely in the chopper. Heated for 60 seconds. Put the hash/beans/beefless ground mixture, put the spinach/mushroom etc mixture on top. Seasoned with fries supreme seasoning with some steak and onion seasoning and a small spoonful of mayo to bind together. Of course it was delicious and really not a huge calorie hit for me as well.
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Candy- you have been alone in your safe zone for so long. I don't think having your friend over is throwing caution to the wind as long as you feel comfortable with any precautions you choose to put in place. It does show you are getting to the point where you are ready to enjoy things again before this covid crap hit.Good for you!
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Candy, since you’re vaxed and boosted, I’d say go for it but if it helps you feel even safer, I would recommend the following.
1. Check positivity rate for your city, under 5% is very good.
2. Sit in separate chairs with your own bowls of popcorn, etc.
3. Ask him to avoid large crowds for several days before movie night.
I think this will be good for you. It is with absolute respect and honesty that I say, it seems like you may be too frightened of Covid/sickness. While it’s totally understandable, the loneliness you’ve been suffering with can’t be good, it may be the best time to let your guard down a bit and baby step back to living. Long term isolation may be worse for your heath than some germs. Good luck.
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Mae I love those pocket puppies 🐶. The cuteness is overwhelming. Little beanie babies.
Candy I hope you get all the answers you need from your MRI results. Those reports sound very in depth. Maybe they will suggest surgery at this point. I know you go to a far away (2hours) hospital Bc your town is small. Maybe look into a ortho clinic that is more prestigious for a second opinion. The hospital here offered that similar surgery for me with rods and screws several times. I’m more than a decade older than you and also have stage 4. I don’t like that they don’t want to do surgery bc of your cancer diagnosis. Take care.
Tany
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Candy- gently affirming what Mae said (and Mara, and Chicagoan). I think people have lived with fear so long it almost feels normal. We are in a much better place than we were two years ago, mainly because of the vaccines. Why vaccinate if you're going to live in a bubble? I think it's okay to breathe a little and cut ourselves some slack.
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Thanks to all of you. I know I can vent on here, no matter how crazy I sound. Maybe because it is anonymous here--- no faces, and you do not know me. I do think I am mentally broken. Cancer + Covid-hazards are too much.
I think for now I am going to keep my house a "safe zone". I can go out to meet people elsewhere (preferably outside versus indoors) and be social that way. But then come home to my house that only has my germs.
I do talk with people. It sounds like I am a hermit. I Zoom--a committee I am on, and a cancer support group thru my cancer center. I talk on the phone. I went to the church ladies group last month, and plan on going this month too. I just do not want to host something in my home yet. I just need to find things to do outside. I have ask friends to meet at a park and eat outdoors. They don't seem too interested. I will keep trying.
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Candy,
You know yourself best and I can understand wanting your home to be a safe space where you feel completely secure. Maybe friends would be more willing to meet at restaurants with outdoor seating rather than getting carryout and taking it somewhere. Keep trying-you will find others who will want to do what you propose.
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Mae, can’t wait to see them tomorrow.
Candy, my heart goes out to you. I do like the advice others have given, but I totally understand your feeling safe in your home. I hope you can get together with your texting buddy and do something outdoors
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Totally understand keeping your house as a safe zone. The outdoor eating is probably a great idea as the weather warms up too. You talk to more people in person than I do. I chat with my neighbours, the friend that phones during the week and DB and family and that is it so you are further ahead. Maybe just tell your mind to chill out because you already know what you are comfortable with re cancer and covid wise and tell it that you will take it from here and just stop the thoughts as they creep in. I think you are progressing as you are comfortable and that is all that is needed at this point. Maybe you and your friend can watch a streaming movie, each one at the same time over Zoom, snacks and all. Just watch them from your own homes. That might be fun. Dinner or coffee over Zoom, take turns ordering food and share it together. I know you chat with them but just thinking outside the box a bit.
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Taking on a more active walking day than I have done in a while. Decided to be smart about it. I have a routine ECHO so walking to and from hospital which is normal. Also need a grocery store. Did consider doing both a same time but felt it may be a little much all at once since I have not walked more than a half hour at a time, think I will go later this afternoon for the mayo and jar of peanut butter AFTER having got home from hospital and have something to eat first. Gotta use common sense.
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candy: Every Sunday my DH and I get together with a friend to play ukuleles (me on Strumstick), have dinner. We are maskless. But I know her really well and she is jumpy about the province relaxing restrictions too soon. She goes everywhere masked up and has three Covid jabs...waiting for the fourth jab announcement. I trust her but I would be uneasy with folks I don't know as well. They may be good but do they hang out with less protected and less cautious people? After two very long years of just emails and Skype it is a joy to have a friend over.
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Happy Monday everyone! I've had a nice weekend, even did a bit of puttering around the garden on Saturday when my chemo steroids were still on board. Yesterday I needed a long nap but I'm doing way better now that I've had a dose reduction of the Trodelvy.
I've got a CT scan on Friday to see if I'm one of the lucky ones that Trodelvy works for
hugs everyone
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I totally understand Elderberry. My "texting buddy" does not wear masks anywhere but around me. He works full time so he is out and about with other people. He eats in restaurants ALL THE TIME, literally, every meal (he is single and doesn't cook). He goes to church functions, concerts, car shows, etc. So he is around ALL the germies.
Moth- Pocket duty for Friday. Praying that the Trodelvy is doing a great job.
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Well, my previous post had mentioned walking to and from hospital, eating something and then going to the grocery store later. I said that would be using common sense. Well, I did not use my common sense and walked to the hospital, up to the grocery store and back home. Was 6.5 miles total and since I was going slowly to avoid tripping it took 2 h 25 mins. I was exhausted most of the way but had to quiet my mind's I'm so tired thoughts and just push through. I thought I would not shop tonight and would run out of mayo which I use most days. Though I used to long distance walk, I normally don't do much more than 1/2 hour at a time now. Oh well, got er done, cried a few body stress tears which is normal and am now planted on the couch waiting for my soap. Next time, I will try to bus at least part of the distance should I need to do that again. I am glad I brought my walking poles though because they helped maintain balance better.
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Good for you Mara. My victory was walking a block and a half to CVS with my cane. Felt so good to be in a store!
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Now I know this isn't April's Fools day but something is playing a sick joke. We are in the midst of a wicked snow storm with 20+ centimeters. Like before my husband is in the city for a CPR course and staying there. Had to once again shovel out the back over and over for the dog. Now Mara I didn't walk all those miles like you but my body is feeling like I did. So I'm resting for now with Netflix.
Moth- in your pocket for Friday. I can't putter in the garden but I'm looking in the magazines for ideas if I ever find my garden !
Saying hello to all!
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Chicagoan, that is great and a well deserved victory. Glad you felt really good about it! My feet are not too happy but I will take advil. At some point when the weather is nicer, might bus up to a park and take the poles again. I like the extra balance they off me.
I did buy baby carrots which I will divide up and freeze since I am not a huge fan of carrots but trying to eat a bit of everything with my meals. Mushrooms are nice, frozen cauliflower is nice when chopped up. I am just trying to incorporate more than just beans at a good cost.. I know I can go frozen but freezing fresh stuff is so much better in my mind. I do like the red pepper added here and there as well.
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Hey Everyone: Got my results today from my PET scan. Nothing to report!! No changes, no progressions. YAY
My "anomaly" in the bone marrow is still there. No change, just sitting there as a little glowing mystery. The radiologist was a different one then the first and he suggested an MRI since he didn't know what it was. Been there. Done that. And a CT. And a bone marrow biopsy. Sometimes the arm aches a little, or feels itchy. So we are into the "monitoring" ---
mara: try roasting veggies. Roasting transforms vegetables. Veggies I like are even better. Veggies I don't like I can actually enjoy. Brussels sprouts. They are terrific roasted.
LivingIVLIfe: no no -- snow??!! Our lilacs are in bud, the cherry blossoms are out. Snow in April is all wrong
moth: all the best for Friday
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Congrats Elderberry, yay 🎉
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Hi Ladies ~ I am. Checking in to see how everyone is doing. Mara~ that is kinda scary. I think I may have panicked being that far and not feeling well. I am not a walker. Do not enjoy it. Especially since before cancer. I could run like the wind. Miles !!! I was fit and strong. Cancer has taken that from me as well . Moth ~ hoping medicine is working for you also. Thinking of you. Elderberry ~ congrats 🎊 that's the way to do it. Candy~ thanks for always letting us know the pocket duty schedule . Means a lot. Living~snow????? Ugh no way you poor thing. Wow. Hello to Tanya. BooBoo, emac KBL, runor. , SeeQ, Rosie , pots, Goldens. 50’s girl!
Mae~ how is the cuteness. Coming. Along. !? So happy for you.
Sending hugs for all. !
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