My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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good afternoon al,
I read through our thread and trust me it reads like a novel with cheerleaders.
For all of the gun owners I chime into and admit that my family of marines-dad and brother, navy-uncle, husband army sergeant have their share. My father was an avid hunter when I lived in the north. As a child I made bullets with my brother on the weekends. Unfortunately, our society today is fraught with multi-layered issues surrounding types of weapons, screenings etc. I imagine anyone could purchase weapons that have nothing to do with a hunting licensed father trying to bring home a buc or moose.
I’m proud of our children standing up for what they believe in and finding their voices.
I hope the frozen tundra melts mercifully by Wednesday.
Grannax and runor I need to put my will in order now to avoid my children not getting their inheritance. It’s mainly the house but I’ve seen and heard so much about the in laws and relatives at the time of death I wouldn’t put it past my family and or some new wife.
Grannax and big b home thanks for sharing your stories.Take care of yourselves these events are so traumatic. The scene you painted so dark and eery I don’t know how you had the guts to get out of the car.
Scan day tomorrow-terrible nights for the past few days ugh!
I went to see about medical M but there were large fees insurance doesn’t cover it. Is that how it is everywhere? What’s a fair price? They wanted $275 for consultation.
Has anyone joined the taxotere group lawsuit? I did over the weekend. Hair loss that is permanent on your head eyebrows and other private areas allows you to be a candidate and it has to have occurred more than 2 years ago.
Have a wonderful day all. I pray you all sleep well without anxiety and pain.
Take care
Tamya
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Tanya,
I am proud of those children, too. They are taking a tragedy from which they will likely never completely recover and trying to do something positive that they hope will prevent similar tragedies in the future. I don't know the answers, but I admire them for taking action. I hope that government officials can come to an agreement and find effective plan that will begin to prevent these horrific attacks.
My DH and I will be in Florida for a while beginning on March 1st. If you could order some perfect weather for us, I would appreciate it. I prefer sunny with temperatures in the low 70's to low 80's and not too humid, please.
I will be thinking of you tomorrow as you go for your scans. How long will it take for you to get results? I hope all the news is good!
Hugs and prayers from, Lynne
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Tanya~ Those people tried to get me to pay that amount also. I went through my palliative care doctor. She recommended me and certified me. It has saved me plenty. Those $275 doctors just want your money. Find a palliative care group in your hospital and start seeing them. They are the medicine people. My card cost $50.00 and that is for a year. Then you must renew it again. But it went rather smooth. I am very relieved. I even may sleep tonight. I hope you find a palliative care group, mine was an angel. She helped me so much. Today was very holistic, it was a calm environment, soothing water running, they offer cucumber and water to drink, mints, pretzels and cakes. I felt like I was In a spa! It really opened my eyes, to all of this! If I can come off some pain pills that's what I want so much to do!! Much love ~M~ Thinking of your scans tomorrow, we will be here waiting.
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50's Lynne~ how awesome are you being able to get away and go to Florida? I am so jealous. Are you flying or driving ? You seem to be another traveler. I am in awe of your strength! March 1st is right around the corner! I hope you get the weather you want my friend. Much love and safe travels ~M~
Mae~ disappointing that Shannon got voted off. I dont know who I want to win now. Maybe Ross? I did like her. She was a competition beast! Hope you're doing good! Enjoying time with your BFF!!
Waving hello to everyone. Hoping all is well. Been quiet the past few days. I am hoping it's becauee of a nice weather break. Today I actually was sweating lol. Ugh!
Hugs to Grannax,
MJH,
Blueshine~
~Lynne(Man), Keetmom, hope you're ok! Minnie!! Leapfrog. Where ya been!? Lynnwood, hi there darling great weather today for us huh?!! Runor! Waving hello, loved the portrait in steam room! Lol. Bigbhome, always thinking of you. I hope you Managed to have calmed down from such a shocking thing to have to see. Chelle. 💜, Nan💓. Edwards. Hope all is ok with you. Chicagoan~ miss you here. Hope you're doing better!
JFL~ been a while hope all is ok in your world.
Magda~Hope today is a good day for you!
I'll remember anyone I forget 🤗💜 ~M~
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Micmel, keep us all posted if it helps with pain when you get sorted with the mirajuana clinic. It has helped a friend of mine back in Ireland. No clinics here unfortunately, but could still get some cbd oils.
Hope everyone is having a good week. All quiet with me, just normal days, no real complaints, just getting along with things, as we do. X
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Hi ladies, it's been a rough day. Between being hormonal and stressed, I just melted down. Actually took some Valium finally and i'm better. But it's been up and down all day.
Sellers countered higher than I hoped, and I went back and forth all day over what to do. Lender gave me a fresh prequal at an even lower %, financial planner said go, finally cousin and I sat here and prayed. When we were done she said she got a strong message that I should actually write the buyers and tell them why this house is important to me. Realtor had told them about being widowed recently (ack that sounds so strange to me still) but not about the cancer. So i sat down and wrote to them. Sent to realtor. She said beautiful. Sent with our counter. Waiting to hear. They have until 5 tomorrow.
Now i'm exhausted, nauseous, and cold. I just want a nap.
To the Sellers,
Thank you for considering this counter offer. I want to tell you a little about myself. My realtor has mentioned that she told your realtor that I am recently widowed. My husband passed away November 1 of last year. We had been married for 30 years and 3 months to the day. What she hesitated to mention, and left to me to tell you, is that his loss came not long after my doctors found that I am in remission from the metastatic breast cancer I have been fighting for the past 4 years. Of course this doesn't mean that I am cured, only that the cancer isn't progressing right now, and that I must continue to fight, right now by the oral chemo I take at home.
When I first talked to Terri (my realtor), I really didn't know what I wanted to do, except that I didn't want to stay in this house that has held so much sorrow for me. Then I saw your house and was instantly drawn to it. The moment I walked in I told her that it spoke to me. Since that day I have prayed constantly that if this house was where God wants me that he would open every door, and so far that has been the case. And I've prayed that if that isn't where he wants me that he would close the doors, and he has not. You see, I believe that God is passionate about real estate! Acts 17:26 tells us that
"From one man he made all the people of the world. Now they live all over the earth. He decided exactly when they should live. And he decided exactly where they should live." (NIrV)
It's been my wish that I would find a place to leave sorrow behind and spend my last days, however long God chooses to grant me, in a place of joy. I have felt that in that house. My cousin, who at a vigorous 81 is my caregiver, will be provided for after I'm gone by the trust I have set up for that purpose.
I pray you will accept this offer, and if that's not possible, that we can come to some mutually agreeable terms. I just wanted you to know a little about me and why this house has captivated me so. Thank you for considering this.
Blessings,Sorry it’s so long, thought you might want to see what I wrote.
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Magda~Very nicely written! I am pulling for youThat you will find that they will accept your counter offer and see also that it was meant to be! I really hope that they take to heart and soul what you poured out in that letter. I think it was a good idea to be open and honest with how it spoke to you, and that you needed to leave behind any sorrow. It breaks my heart to know you're going through this. I hope that you get exactly what you want..... you absolutely deserve it! I am sending my strength and thoughts your way for a good outcome for you!!! Much love and hugs ~M~
I hope that you can get some rest. That kind of stuff will exhaust you before you even realize. I hope the Valium does it's work. I'm about to take mine. Sleep well! Best wishes.
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Minnie~ Hi sweetheart! It was a big day for me being able to walk into a store And be able to get such relief. Today I took one Percocet. Usually I take three. It helped tremendously, I can tell a Difference already, but I want to wait about a week to fully celebrate. I was pretty active today. For me. And didn't nap. I went to the dispensary, came home, then went To the grocery store for a good amount of things. Geeze that's place is so very expensive. Wow!(grocery store) I came home put the-stuff away, my DS carries the heavy stuff in for me. I definitely had Less fatigue! I can't wait to go to bed though. Hope everyone gets a good rest!! Watching the Olympics. I'm sad this years Winter Olympics. We aren't doing as well as we usually do. Weird. Don't like it. I love watching the athletes! They are amazing, the things they do. Wow! Hugs to you my friend. Good night ! ~M~
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I've decided I'll take whatever the sellers come back with, I hope they accept my counter but even if they don't I can do it. But even having decided that I kept having meltdown after meltdown. Valium didn't help much, I lay here weeping and praying and missing DH so bad! Right after he died, I kept saying, I don;t know how to do life without him. And that’s the truth. Every decision is a harrowing experience.
But God is so faithful. He reminded me of a beautiful song that’s sung by a fairly new Christian group called Veritas - if you get a chance, they’re touring now at churches all over - they had posted it the other day on Facebook and I played it again - it’s called “I Love You This Much”. Still tears, but better ones.
Doesn’t help that I’ve been bed bound most of the past several days because every time I move something my muscles go into spasm - mostly my chest and lower abdomen, but it’s also my arms/hands and ankles/feet. I stretch my foot, my ankle seizes up. Most annoying.
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Magda~Honey it sounds like youre in full blown panic honey. You should be sleeping. I am so desperately desperately sorry about what you have to face with out your DH. That is what this page is about. And my heart aches for you. I wish I could even hold your hand as you wade through this anxious thing. If you're going to re-counter, then you're almost done something you did alone honey!!!! Don't underestimate your prowess power please, you seem to find some comfort in faith. I wish I could reach into the heavens and bring him back for you because I know I would. You're a special woman and I just am hoping against hope you can reach inside and know that DH is up stairs looking down on you and saying there's my girl, doing what she not only needs to do which is LIVE, but she's making a dream of her own come true. Maybe he's the one guiding you to this Home. You need to rest sweetheart. You won't accomplish anything if you're not clear headed and razor focused to get that house you want! I am wrapping my arms and heart around you gently in hopes i May soothe you just a little. Much love. I am always here if you need support! My friend🌸🌸❣️ ~M~
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Mags, I am reading your posts and filled with hope that you get your house and such sadness at you having to go through all this on your own.
Confession time, and this will make me sound like a shit. But it's my truth. Since being diagnosed with cancer my thoughts of the future are bleak. Frankly I don't think I have much of a future. Sure, someone is going to point at my diagnosis and quote some cheery statistics, but I don't buy it. I don't feel hopeful. I feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I look at Hub as we sit watching tv and I imagine him sitting alone. I imagine him coming home from work to a dark, empty house. I imagine him coming home from a day of snowmobiling with no one to tell his adventures to and no one to look at the boring photographs he's taken. (all snowmobiling photos look the same, snow, trees, more snow, more trees). I imagine him pushing a buggy through the grocery store, slowly, trying to figure out what to cook, asking himself what I used to make for dinner and how did I make it? These thoughts, they're a horror movie. They make me feel sick inside. Like I want to vomit up a bitter wad of poison.
But then I think what if the shoe was on the other foot? What if I were watching him die? What if he had cancer and we knew it was going to come back? What if I have to live my life without him? And you know what? I have decided that dying is easier. If it comes down to the choice of outliving Hub or dying first, neither being a really great choice, but I think from a purely selfish standpoint, dying is better. I think carrying on without him would be impossible. I am 54 years old now and the first time I got in his car for a date I was 17. SEVENTEEN! We were children together. We have been together ever since.
I think living with cancer in the house is like living with a known killer as a renter in your basement. No one can let their guard down. I do not want to die. But when I think about being the one left behind if the shoe was on the other foot. Nope. Don't want that either. Mags, you do not feel it when you are drowning in anxiety and all those bad feelings that haunt and terrorize you. But you are, even as you don't feel it, powering forward in such a strong way. It's not about how you feel, it's about what you do. And what you are DOING is being what women have always been; the rock solid strong ones. My heart breaks for you yet beams with pride at the same time. I hope in time you can find admiration for yourself because you've been to hell and back, yet here you stand. Respect. Respect.
Micmel, I hope you DO find some kindred spirits to spend face time with. When I stayed at the cancer lodge for radiation it was very supportive to just be surrounded by people going through the very same thing. Whether we were in the lunch line-up or having coffee in the games room or watching tv, there was something about being with a bunch of people who also belonged to the cancer club that was ... restful. They were the only crowd where you didn't have to explain anything. They knew. They got it. They walked the walk. I think it will help you to find your people.
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True words runor. Benn with my DH since 17 too, 60 years old now. Understand you complet
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I was 36 when I met DH, twice divorced, and he was 27, never married, and in the military. We married two months and a week later. We never had our own children (I have a 48 year old son) but after my sister’s husband died (of cancer), he became a surrogate to their 2 children. He was a brilliant programmer, naturally gifted, no college, completely self taught. But his first love was theater. For years we had a drama ministry at our church, producing a couple of shows every year, usually a comedy or melodrama, and he would direct and often take a part, and I would produce and stage manage, and often props, sets, and costuming as welll. We had great fun. My niece is now 26 and this May will graduate from college in NYC with a degree in theater arts. DH was her coach and mentor, her second dad, and she is so heartbroken. She called him Pa and she could always make him laugh. Oh, so could i, a fact which surprised us both, right up until nearly the end, when nothing could.
When I get settled in the new house, I believe I’ll write a book. I’ll need the income! Y’all would buy a copy, right? I’m thinking of calling it “The Audacity of Mags”. Whaddya think?
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P.S. Micmel, I love you so much! And runor, like you I suffer from the “i don’t want to go to sleep” syndrome. It’s like this:
Amirite?
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lol! Magda! Yesss completely!! That is exactly correct! One second its sheep and the next second the sheep and I are playing poker and it's not a dream anymore!! Jk but it takes a long time to getting me back to sleep again. I love my sleep once there, staying there is also the key. I find that sleep is my only safe place. If I can beat the sheep in a game of poker...maybe we all have a good chance! I think Magda. You're amazing. You loved your little heart off! He did too. I love the fact that you found your person so early In life. That is such a special thing. You doing all these things are a good distraction from things. Like my DDs wedding. I needed a project to do. My DH and I are again making mastectomy pillows for the patients at the infusion center. We made like 30 before and I feel the need to do it again. Keep my mind from spinning and repeating the banana word all day! Magda, just re enter our family as you have and I will do whatever I can across the miles to lift your spirit anyway I can. You're one of us now.....just stay and allow us to be a small part of your day, where you know without a doubt it's unconditional love and support my sweet friend. Even if it is across the miles. The Feelings are real!!Wrapping you in hugs. Now go get that house! Strength coming your way darling. ~M~
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Runor~ hello special lady! You're very supportive all the time For everyone else but, I have to say this to you! Maybe yours won't come back, seriously. You're not stage four honey, you have a great chance of it not coming back and completely going away. Don't you give into thinking you're not going to be pushing to that buggy in the grocery store with him, because you are. Honey.... I have stage four. Only a very limited amount and have been in remission for over a year now. I could still live ten years if this medicine continues to cut my tumor markers. You will (sorry to say) have to continue to look at those boring winter photos. So realize in your heart and mind. While I love you... I dont want you talking that into your head. Because honestly, you really have great odds my sweet! I just want you to live life. And not fear something that hasn't happened to you yet and very well may not! I enjoy you so much your humor is a joy! While I don't want you to go anywhere, ever, just realize your boat has less holes, so you'll Be floating a while, a long while..... and we will..... just keep swimming just keep swimming! Love you lots ~M~
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Minnie~ I am sure you're asleep at least I am hoping you're nestled in your blanket resting in dream land. Someday I would love to hear your love story. There is nothing that makes me happier then seeing a lovely couple who has years under their belts together in love. Love is special love is unconditional! We all need to feel that love. Wether from family, friends, or here. All we need is Love. Like the zach brown band says!
Share your long love story with us Minnie. Love made me want to have a place where friendship and love come in many packages of respect and no judgement of anything. Much love to you ~M~
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oh and _Magda.....I love you too darling. Glad to have you back. I wondered what happened, but I don't like to intrude, if you needed a break. But so glad you're here. Stay with us. Let us help you. Hugs sweetheart! Hugs to you beautiful! ~M~ I would buy the book for sure. Start writing!!!
I have another appointment today, this one is a breast surgeon. Consultation. I miss my left bub! I want to see what can be made of my construction site of a body! Wish me luck I'm a little worried. I was always so thin and fit and now when they look at me they won't be thinking that. Maybe they can take-my own skin now, before there wasn't enough skin to pull from. I would have had to have a placement of an expander and ive been told they are awful!!! So I'm information gathering now. No commitment, but prosthetics are heavy and very warm.
The bras are NOT pretty or feminine or remotely even sexy. I feel like I am wearing half of a girdle.....I just don't want to wear this diaper looking thing. Anymore.. I need to feel like a woman!! Not some half gutted, missing breast, road map stomach woman. I want to at least have some normal features. They took my hair (which thankfully I have back and I love it) took my breast, took part of my liver..ruined my beautiful stomach.... flat stomach..... I never realized how beautiful something or someone created! In each any everyone of us. I was too hard on myself and you were all too. I never took the time to be thankful for who I was..I guess the jokes on me. I am just going to keep swimming. Not that I really have a choice. I feel like Nemo with the lame fin that everyone is well aware of, but doesn't really make a big deal of, when inside I'm screaming but people thats my hand!!! (But people I have cancer!!!!)
But I will also say that, it's only been two days with the medical marijuana vaporizer pens. I can feel a difference. I did sleep more solidly when the dogs didn't wake me up. But of course without fail One dreams or gets up or has to go outside at 500!!! Am. Broken sleep is yucky! Hugs to everyone today!! ~M~
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Magda I had a meltdown buying my first car by myself!😱 The first one since my DH died seven years ago. It took me by surprise that it triggered such a response. You're new at this learning how to live without your DH thing. Give yourself a break. Meltdowns are going to happen. Especially with something big, like buying a house. You are thinking of your future, you made a decision, you pursued it, you wrote a meaningful letter, you want this. What's the worst thing that could happen? You've already thought of it, they won't accept your offer but you will come up to their price. You've made your decision, it's going to happen. Expect to have another meltdown when you sign the papers, a OMG what have I done type of meltdown. Meltdowns will be with you for a while, while you're learning how to live without your DH. Gradually, they will happen less and less often. As long as you are moving forward, you are living and learning.
The muscle cramps must be terrible. I guess you have tried muscle relaxers? I take Cymbalta, it's been a wonder drug for me. Helps with anxiety and pain and mood.
You are doing a good job, especially for so soon after DH death. I know you don't want to be called a widow yet. You still feel married, at least that's how I felt. You still love the man you spent your life with. That's perfectly normal.
I hope there's a way you can attend your niece's graduation. You and your DH were a big part of who she has become. That's a beautiful story. Maybe that story will be in your book.
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Grannax~ well said from someone who knows. What a thoughtful supportive post!! I love you guys!!! ☺️ ~M~
Go Magda!! Go Grannax. Who got a pretty sweet looking caddie. You both should be proud. Wonderful strong ladies. Hugs all around ! ~M~
Magda~ you will get your house. Yay!
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micmel. The doc will look at you and think, This is one tough lady who has been through a lot. Then he'll try to see if he can help you. I had a TRAM flap way back in 1993. They don't even do it the same way anymore. But, mine is still great. Unfortunately, I didn't do both. Long story, but I was unable to have any reconstruction on my right breast. I did, however find a store here that has beautiful bras and a much lighter prosthesis. Did you know that Medicare pays for 12 bras a year?!?! Who needs 12 bras? Also, a prosthesis every two years and one for swimming and a different one for exercise. The people at my store are so kind, it's almost like going to a candy store. So many choices, I got so excited the first time I went. It's changed everything about what cloths I can wear.
I hope the doctor is kind and has some options for you for reconstruction. If not, you've got to find a store like my store. 💞
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I never did go get fitted for prosthetics. Knitted knockers sent me a pair, and I discovered when I was clearing out my old bras (sent them to a local women’s shelter) that one of the old cheap Walmart bras had pockets, with the slit on the outside to slide the knockers in. So on the rare occasions I wear them, they work just fine. I didn’t want to have to part with some of my favorite blouses that have darts. And they’re closer to a C-D than the DDDs I carried around with me before. Whew! Those suckers must’ve weighted a good 10-12 pounds apiece! But I could probably count on my fingers how many times I’ve worn those foobs.
Grannax, thank you for your encouraging words. I actually do have a muscle relaxer, Tizanidine, been on it for years, but I’ve mostly taken it in the evening for restless leg while sleeping. I’ve been tossing them down like breath mints lately though, just fighting these stupid muscle spasms. Sometimes moving sets them off but there are times they come spontaneously. Ouch! Speaking of cymbalta, I was on it for several years (prescribed in conjunction with Lyrica, and all for my fibromyalgia) and the doc would keep increasing the dosages of them trying to find some relief for my pain. Finally, about 5-6 years ago, when I had maxed out on both of them and still no relief from the pain, I decided it was a waste to continue and asked the doc to help me step down. She did, I did, and even going down as gradually as possible, it was the worst withdrawal ever. I fought the depression and suicidal thoughts constantly. It took forever (it seemed( to get back on an even keel. The Lyrica wasn’t as rough, but while I was on it I gained (literally) 100 lbs. After I stopped it I dropped about 50 in a short time. Kept it off quite a while, but something that I’m on now is causing it to creep back up. It could be the Xeloda, or maybe the chocolate ice cream. (Ya think?)
Micmel, I believe I’ll hang around awhile. It actually wasn’t so much needing a break, it was that every waking moment was filled with financial panic. I think I mentioned before that DH had handled our finances for probably 20-25 years, and I was happy to let him. We both made fairly decent money, I had my own business, but he resisted planning for the inevitable - even after what his family went through after his folks died. For one thing, we used the income from my business as a kind of slush fund - vacations, houses, etc., and never put a dime of it aside for a retirement plan for me. And I begged for it. He was convinced that his would be sufficient (and it may be) but the stress of working everything out is wearing. And trying to figure everything out, back in November, took every one of my meager brain cells. Figuring out what bills we even had, tracking down how each one was paid (mostly online, but from the bank site or the payee’s site?) then slowly transferring the payee site payments to the bank site so I can track all in one place, from my phone. Still not completely done with that task. Then, setting up the trust that will take care of my cousin (provided she survives me, as she most certainly will (both her parents lived to 95+), getting started on SS and Medicare, supplements, more figuring, figuring, figuring out.
I’d best close for now before I lose this post. More later.
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Magda I'm curious if we are near the same age? I had to go through a lot of figuring financial things out, too. Although, the best thing is that our home had no mortgage. But, I was not old enough for Medicare. Finally, a social worker at the cancer center helped me get on Medicaid for two years until I turned 65. Without that, medical ins would have eaten up all of my SS income.
I'm 70 now and have managed on my small SS income. I'm most happy that I have no debt. I find my determination from wanting to do things differently than my father did. He put his children through an impossible nightmare by deceiving us and giving all control and money to the person he married after our mother died. I include my children in everything, including being on my bank account. I constantly try to make things easy for them when it's time for them to have to sell my house etc. Of course I haven't done everything I intend to do for them, but that's my plan.
My DD is 46 and DS is almost 44. That's what made me think we might be close in age. Does your DS live near you? Does he have children? My grandchildren are my happy place.
So much to do.....but it can be a good feeling to get things accomplished. Very satisfying. 💞
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good afternoon all,
I made it through the pet scan. I even slept decently after 1/2 tramadol. They found a vein in the first stick. Miracle. I was so proud of not obsessing over the results and then my husband started asking when when when. Lol
Mag I hope you get your home that spoke to you. My father was in real estate and he told me that he experienced that from taking listings and sellin and even the sellers some homes are meant for people. They just. Sling there and God knows who goes where and for how long
Runor I read my husband your post and he asked how did it make me feel. Then the phone rang. Thank God saved by the bell bc really I feel just like that.
Mic I plan to ask for referral to pal dr. I’ll call the onc today. I had to get blood work today too. 100 has made a big difference and really I’m looking forward to 75 if it works for me.
50’s I pray we have perfect weather for you. My eldest sister is coming to visit me for 5 days on the 28th. She lives in NC and she’s looking forward to a favorable forecast. I hope it’s chamber of commerce perfect for you guys.
Take care all
Tanya
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Hi everyone,
Today it's 70 here (broke records)! The sun is shining and I sat outside on my deck, doing nothing. Face in the sun, the entire time. 3 days ago we got 6 inches of snow! Tomorrow is suppose to be a high of 37 and more snow coming. Yes, I live in New England, and they say, just wait 5 min, and the weather will change. I'll take today for sure! Perfect!
My scans came back ok, so I am continuing on Taxotere. I've been on it since May, and am really sick of all these side effects, but I'm still here (as I always say!). She said I could take a short break, since I've been on it so long with good results. I am going to take a few weeks off, before our Disney trip the end of April. I am due for chemo the day before I leave, and will postpone it until the Fri after I come back. I can't wait to get a break. She did lower my dose again, due to the neuropathy in my hands and feet. They really hurt by the end of the day. It still takes an hour for the Taxotere infusion. I do miss my hair, eyebrows, and eyelashes though. I lost most of my hair 2 weeks after I started my chemo back in May, the rest later on. I have my nephew's wedding in August, and was hoping to have it back by then, but no!
Micmel-I'm glad you were able to save money by buying the linens! i wasn't sure if it was cheaper, but the rental price seemed very high! I started medical marijuana in October. I take the tincture (drops of oil under your tongue). It helped with the pain (still had some though) and I asked for no high, and got a little one. I just changed the strain they gave me. The daytime one has no high, and the night time one does. I only took it on Sat, because this is my "hell week" (week after chemo) and I get dizzy enough on nothing. It did help, and I will start it up again Monday, when my dizziness should be gone. They sit down with you and try to find the perfect one for you. They are very helpful, and you can call them anytime. So many choices. Good luck!
Tanya-I hope you get good results with your scan!
Bighome-So glad to hear from you. I am so sorry you had to witness that awful accident, and I'm sorry your DH got rear ended. It's awful what his family is putting you through! Big hugs!
Mag-I pray that you get the house! I'm so sorry your are missing your husband so badly. I hope something is working on those muscle spasms, those are the worst. Big hugs!
Lynne-Thanks for thinking of me when you saw the mini! I hope you have a wonderful trip in a couple of weeks. Here's a pic of my mini, wave if you see me!
I hope everyone has a good day! Hugs and prayers for all!
Lynne
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Lynn, love that mini. Good to,feel sun on your face.
Magda, I hope you get the house you want. I can't imagine making big decisions on my own, feeling now that I won't ever have to. If you write your book, I'll buy a copy.
Micmel, keep,us posted about reconstruction. When I was first diagnosed in 2006 I had about a quarter of my right breast removed. I never had any reconstruction. I don't have big boobs, and I was able to continue wearing normal bras, because no one could really tell, as long as the bras were padded, and the same with swimwear, so I,guess I was lucky. Not a wonderful sight naked, but DH didn't care how it looked, and I was never going to be a film star to say the least. I know it's hard though as I have a friend who has been through surgery, because she hated her naked body, even though she was almost 70. As to my love story, nothing really to tell. Two people who met, fell in love, got married, had two daughters and luckily still like and love each other.
As usual,I'm in bed, so good night everyone. Keep well xx
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Grannax~ Were you standing in that doctors room with me today for my consult? That's exactly what he said. He said that he couldn't believe all I had been through. He was very nice and does intend to help me. Now I just need to make a decision yes or no. He is going to use my own tissue via tummy tuck action, I honestly didn't want to have any implant done, usually for me when complications are mentioned, they tend to turn out to be me. He luckily isalso a lymphedema specialist as well which was awesome. Because I have a mild case. He said he wasn't worried about any problems because I had never needed radiation and my skin was in no way damage and not needing any stretching. I was so glad to hear. I just have to heal, then get the nipple taken care of. HEs going to reduce the lonely boob and even them out as best as he can. He did mention my liver scar. He said he would Work around it for me. He spent a good amount of time and didn't make me feel rushed. I have to say the photo opt time made me want to hurl. So exposed. I used to be so vain. Maybe it's because then I felt like a woman. And now I feel like a thing. In my heart it feels like this will help me feel better inside of myself. And my soul. I really want to do it. But of course I'm scared of more surgeries. Honestly the recovering time as well. I don't need anymore pain.
Today again so far. One Percocet 5 mg. The pain is being kept at bay from the medical mariju vaporizer that I have. It's amazing how much it truly helps me. Like wow ! Thank goodness my state got its thumb out of its ass. And got moving on this. Well done PA! Thank you! Hugs to you miss caddie. Waiting for your photo op in your car too. 🚙 sweet ride! ~M~
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Tanya~ so glad that scan is over honey! Another one out of the way! I know I would rather not have them , but if we don't, then that silent C can run amok! We can't have that!! Not a chance! I hope you get a quick referral to the palliative care team. My doctor is amazing. Also, if you meet one and they don't do it for you, ask for another. That's what I did. I'm glad I did, because this one listens. She is the ticket that makes this sometimes seems manageable, good days should be celebrated. I'm trying To do that. I was pleased today that I did not hear that nothing can be done. That's a good thing. The weather was amazing. I took a nice ride. Windows down. Felt alive. one day I need to store in my memory banks. Hugs to everyone ~M~
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Lynne~(Manchester)~ I adore your Mini Cooper!!!! I would love a ride in one of those. Top down feeling the cool air on my face. Sounds like a place I want to be. I really like the color also. You go girl. I am sorry that you're hair won't be back like you wanted. But I know you will want to kick me in the rear when I say this, but I would rather have you!!! I'm so happy your scans were good, I just wish the break could be longer. My breast surgeon told me I will need a few weeks of diet of my medicine, chemo... I was like ok when ? He said he needed my ONCS approval, I see that lil turkey on Friday. I hope he doesnt give me any flack about. I know my doctor had planned to contact him tonight anyway, they already gave me the schedulers name who arranges the pre testing and time of surgery. So in reality I could be operated on in a matter of weeks. That's scary.! A lot to process really. I don't even know recovery time. I forgot to ask. Oh but I will. I'm nervous about it though. 😧😓 love that pic! You're a styling babe! Much love ~M~. Purchased the sashes also, chair socks!!
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Minnie~I do have myself worried about opening a can of worms. I don't know what to do. My DH said he would support whatever I decide. I hope you rest well sweetheart. That story is just fine with me. The falling in Love part gets me every time! Sleep well! Hugs!! ~M~
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